Texts from Bennett

1000TimesYes: The second "Texts From Bennett" turned out to be fake it immediately went from kind of funny to kind of racist. #prettyflyforawhiteguy

i'm not whiney fwiw

― dealwithit.gif, Thursday, December 1, 2011 3:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

totally fucking whiney fwiw

lol there was a second when this was not fake?

yeah, exactly

Sherry Sprain
My thing, is most kids don't care enough about spelling and grammar to care that they sound like complete douchenuggets. I cant tell you how many kids I want to bash their head together and wag my finger into their faces, telling them to get their crap together. My kids had better not ever do douchenugget speak... or else!

Elizabeth Galloway · Bethel High School
I know a kid that sounds just like Bennett so this is still hugely funny. 21 years old Juggalo wannabe pot head, who acts like he's all gangster. Can't spell worth a crap, didn't graduate because he was just lazy, who lives in a farm town with his 1 year old son. But he knows it all and will tell you so. I don't care of Bennett is fictional.. he mirrors a portion of the kids his age.
Reply · 11 · · about an hour ago

o hey, i missed all this.

you know, i had sorta resolved to take advantage of the sandbox to indulge in a little e-thug badditude since i'm not a mod here and i sometimes feel like playing a messageboard character who comes back with a "OH YEAH MATT P THEN WHY DON'T YOU BLOW ME HAH?" but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcEkQhCN1U4

Elizabeth Galloway says it's a-ok to be racist as long as you reinforce her stereotypes!

my first exposure to this was someone showing me the pic from the first post itt and my response was "that's very reminiscent of AIM chats with ethan" (more for the talking about diff't topics for hours w/ little or no response from the other person than for what he was saying)

god this is just the lamest attempt at comedy i've ever seen: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvgem02Zpm1qk9nrro1_500.png

the real tell is the straight mans responses

what a poorly formed tumblr

The Smoking Gun called my father at home without any explanation for how they got his number.

In order to protect his family, obviously, he would not give them any information and told them this. The writer of the story then explained his speculation as to what he THOUGHT the truth was. My dad said he was wrong and wouldn’t comment much further.

I caught wind of the journalist calling my dad, so when he called me, I was very upset. It was very out of line to call my dad at home and try to manipulate him. I yelled at the journalist and told him to stop stalking my family members and that I would give him no information on who Bennett is.

For the record, Bennett is Bennett’s legal middle name. I will not disclose his first or last night, to protect him and the blog. He is unaware it exists, and I want to keep it that way.

It is 100% real, and I want everyone to know that.

god i need to stop looking at this weak bullshit: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luka1g22O51qk9nrro1_500.jpg

like Mac Lethal, one of the main tenants of comedy is knowing when to pack it in, and when you're outed as being fake, defiantly insisting it's not a joke kills whatever remnants of humor were left....

i want the lasagna one to be real so bad

i couldnt place what the tone of this was then it came to me, a ventriloquist and dummy in conversation

haha yes totally

http://www.lardlad.com/assets/episodes/season4/9f19-big.jpg

I can do all kinds of dances / I can imitate Sage Francis

XD

The Smoking Gun tried hard to out "Bennett"? That sounds faker than him being a real person.

this went real fast from "innocent fun" to "CONSPIRACY THEORY MEDIA TRYING TO FEED YOU LIES" blog

he just started to blog his cousin's texts and looked back and told me baby it's real
and I say I ain't doubt you for a second, now let Smoking Gun tell me how it feels

LMFAO at the OMFG GONNA GET A I CAN HAS CHEESEBUERGER STYLE BOOK DEAL WIT DIS SHIT watermark on all the photos now, smfh, mac lethal you herb

it's no hipster puppies

I CAN HAS BALLZ ON MY CHIKEN SANDWICH?

Do ppl call this out as fake cos they reckon theres no way anyone would talk/think like Bennett? because I can assure you people do (my ex's brother, for starters).

oh there totally are -- the fakeness is deeply felt on a completely different level

I dont disagree there.

really the give away is the dudes superfake plot furthering responses

hes like the guy in bad science fiction novels that keeps prodding the characters to provide crucial information to the reader that the characters wouldnt normally spell out. 'oh rygel-7 you say? what is that exactly?'

omg you just made me choke on a grain of brown rice
with laughs

ack twice

texts from bennett is really the poor man's karen & ellen letters

karen & ellen letters so fake too :\

karen & ellen letters are funny, tho

karen and ellen letters are fake and hilarious and not racist

texts from bennett is only one of those three things

is the 'racist' part of this just all the uses of the n-word? because ventriloquism of a fictional white person by an actual existing white person that involves the n-word and a lot of 'black slang' is definitely sketchy but i dunno if racist is really the word for it.

there's an whiff of #prettyflyforawhiteguy "white people shouldn't act like this"

karen & ellen letters so fake too :\

― dayo, Sunday, December 4, 2011 10:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink

Feel like there's a 7% chance k&a are real and they're just fucking w/the landlord

k&a are real and they're just fucking w/the landlord

I think they're either real and they're just fucking with the landlord, or they're fake and the landlord (Mark Tarses, who seems to be a real person) created them for laughs a long time ago.

someone (a former ilxor, actually) mentioned the letters in an alt.fan.momus newsgroup posting dating back to 2000:

"The Karen and Ellen Letters, Volumes 1 and 2" by Karent Prescott, Ellen Goldsmith and Mark Tarsus - Purports to be a series of letters between two UC Berkeley students and their long-suffering landlord. I got it from a friend who got it from a friend at a Kinko's in San Francisco, and it's composed entirely of xeroxed pages bound together like university course materials. It's also just about the funniest thing I've ever read. I've had it for years and read it at least ten times. It's got true humor staying power, possibly because it's impossible to tell if it's factual or fictional.

and someone started a blogspot about them (which no one paid any attention to) a few years ago. if they're fake, then someone faked them long before tumblr was a thing.

At some point I have a "Karen and Ellen Letters" style thing to scan in and put on Tumblr/ILX: in junior high school, a somewhat odd kid who was a friend of mine would pretend that he was a RCMP named Mr. MacEntire. He would go into character as a Canadian Mountie and wouldn't stop. This was one of a menagerie of characters, each with its own catchphrases (MacEntire's was "Respect Your Elders") and idiosyncrasies, that he felt compelled to go into rather than deal with the social rigors of just, you know, being a person.

Anyway, he would draw pictures of this guy and the characters in his universe and write and tell complex stories about them and integrate me and my classmates into it. They were really odd little sketches, single panel things and he would give me two or three of these a day. He sent me a few christmas cards. The coup de grace was when he wrote a twenty page single space autobiography of Mr. MacEntire and followed that up with a full autobiography of HIS WIFE who he would ALSO go into character as.

Anyways, there's plenty more to the story but the key is that I kept a thick folder of this stuff, maybe 100 pages or so and I keep meaning to scan it in. It's pretty amazing.

Do ppl call this out as fake cos they reckon theres no way anyone would talk/think like Bennett? because I can assure you people do (my ex's brother, for starters).

I know people that do as well but this has a real big "texts from last night" vibe where each word seems placed for maximum humor potential. It really sounds like someone writing a character

karen & ellen letters so fake too :\

― dayo, Sunday, December 4, 2011 10:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink

Feel like there's a 7% chance k&a are real and they're just fucking w/the landlord

― Cooper Chucklebutt, Monday, December 5, 2011 12:17 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

yeah if they are real then it's a 100% chance that they are just fucking with the landlord

Rolo Tony otm. I worked with a kid who could have written all these texts but they're way too intentional to be real.

my biggest problem I don't get what bennett's reason for talking w/ the other dude is, even within the fictional universe

best one is when he asks for the 1st tupac cd

djdave2005

lol

lol i forgot 'swagger wagon' was directed by that piece of shit observe & report guy

i like to imagine djdave having a mixtape full of drops from jeff bridges just like the commercial

"you could drop... a beat-beat-beat-beat-b-b-b-b-beat-beat" ::air horns::

swagger wagon dad is from upright citizens brigade

/Onion News Network

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3w2MTXBebg

MC ROVE