Texts from Bennett

lol

who is flexidisc?!

who is matt p

― flexidisc, Friday, December 2, 2011 2:03 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink

yes lol

i used to be known as dutch mayo on the other board

fry sauce?

but i find literally every "funny" thing he posts to be not funny, ever.

some people just live on different planes, man

i'm just surprised we aren't having a conniption over this - I mean, MY GOD

also it's probably as fake as every single post on "texts from last night"

Well yeah, of course it's fake. I think it's probably too dumb for anyone to actually give a shit about tbh.

some people just live on different planes, man

word, i should know that. sorry forks.

supposedly the guy posting the texts:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Teaft0Kg-Ok

(not Bennett)

didn't know dealwithit.gif could rap too

max_read: i fucking told you you goddamn moron dumbshits http://t.co/sjrnpHVx

WOAH WOAH WOAH

1000TimesYes: The second "Texts From Bennett" turned out to be fake it immediately went from kind of funny to kind of racist. #prettyflyforawhiteguy

i'm not whiney fwiw

― dealwithit.gif, Thursday, December 1, 2011 3:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

totally fucking whiney fwiw

lol there was a second when this was not fake?

yeah, exactly

Sherry Sprain
My thing, is most kids don't care enough about spelling and grammar to care that they sound like complete douchenuggets. I cant tell you how many kids I want to bash their head together and wag my finger into their faces, telling them to get their crap together. My kids had better not ever do douchenugget speak... or else!

Elizabeth Galloway · Bethel High School
I know a kid that sounds just like Bennett so this is still hugely funny. 21 years old Juggalo wannabe pot head, who acts like he's all gangster. Can't spell worth a crap, didn't graduate because he was just lazy, who lives in a farm town with his 1 year old son. But he knows it all and will tell you so. I don't care of Bennett is fictional.. he mirrors a portion of the kids his age.
Reply · 11 · · about an hour ago

o hey, i missed all this.

you know, i had sorta resolved to take advantage of the sandbox to indulge in a little e-thug badditude since i'm not a mod here and i sometimes feel like playing a messageboard character who comes back with a "OH YEAH MATT P THEN WHY DON'T YOU BLOW ME HAH?" but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcEkQhCN1U4

Elizabeth Galloway says it's a-ok to be racist as long as you reinforce her stereotypes!

my first exposure to this was someone showing me the pic from the first post itt and my response was "that's very reminiscent of AIM chats with ethan" (more for the talking about diff't topics for hours w/ little or no response from the other person than for what he was saying)

god this is just the lamest attempt at comedy i've ever seen: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvgem02Zpm1qk9nrro1_500.png

the real tell is the straight mans responses

what a poorly formed tumblr

The Smoking Gun called my father at home without any explanation for how they got his number.

In order to protect his family, obviously, he would not give them any information and told them this. The writer of the story then explained his speculation as to what he THOUGHT the truth was. My dad said he was wrong and wouldn’t comment much further.

I caught wind of the journalist calling my dad, so when he called me, I was very upset. It was very out of line to call my dad at home and try to manipulate him. I yelled at the journalist and told him to stop stalking my family members and that I would give him no information on who Bennett is.

For the record, Bennett is Bennett’s legal middle name. I will not disclose his first or last night, to protect him and the blog. He is unaware it exists, and I want to keep it that way.

It is 100% real, and I want everyone to know that.

god i need to stop looking at this weak bullshit: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luka1g22O51qk9nrro1_500.jpg

like Mac Lethal, one of the main tenants of comedy is knowing when to pack it in, and when you're outed as being fake, defiantly insisting it's not a joke kills whatever remnants of humor were left....

i want the lasagna one to be real so bad

i couldnt place what the tone of this was then it came to me, a ventriloquist and dummy in conversation

haha yes totally

http://www.lardlad.com/assets/episodes/season4/9f19-big.jpg

I can do all kinds of dances / I can imitate Sage Francis

XD

The Smoking Gun tried hard to out "Bennett"? That sounds faker than him being a real person.

this went real fast from "innocent fun" to "CONSPIRACY THEORY MEDIA TRYING TO FEED YOU LIES" blog

he just started to blog his cousin's texts and looked back and told me baby it's real
and I say I ain't doubt you for a second, now let Smoking Gun tell me how it feels

LMFAO at the OMFG GONNA GET A I CAN HAS CHEESEBUERGER STYLE BOOK DEAL WIT DIS SHIT watermark on all the photos now, smfh, mac lethal you herb

it's no hipster puppies

I CAN HAS BALLZ ON MY CHIKEN SANDWICH?

Do ppl call this out as fake cos they reckon theres no way anyone would talk/think like Bennett? because I can assure you people do (my ex's brother, for starters).

oh there totally are -- the fakeness is deeply felt on a completely different level

I dont disagree there.

really the give away is the dudes superfake plot furthering responses

hes like the guy in bad science fiction novels that keeps prodding the characters to provide crucial information to the reader that the characters wouldnt normally spell out. 'oh rygel-7 you say? what is that exactly?'

omg you just made me choke on a grain of brown rice
with laughs

ack twice

texts from bennett is really the poor man's karen & ellen letters

karen & ellen letters so fake too :\

ok you have succeeded in making me want to punch djdave in the nuts

like i said important work

it is conceivable i am in the same city as djdave

davidwiteman.com

she said "want to" not "just did"; work not that important

oh thank god he moved to LA

David Wittman is an award winning film and commercial composer from Berkeley, California. He grew up playing drums and DJing at a young age, and moved to Los Angeles in 1992 to attend UCLA where he received a degree in Economics and Musicology.

In 1999 he began working for renowned commercial music house “Elias Arts” in Santa Monica where his scores have earned top honors in advertising including a Cannes Lion, Clio, AICP, and First Boards award for excellence in original music. He has been featured in SHOOT, Creativity, Boards, and Entertainment Weekly magazines, as well as The Wall Street Journal, Hollywood Reporter, and Huffington Post.

In 2006 he contributed to the score for director Dito Montiel’s debut “A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints” (Robert Downey Jr., Shia LaBoeuf) working alongside mentor Jonathan Elias. After the success of the film followed the scores for “Fighting” (Channing Tatum, Terrence Howard, 2009) and “The Son of No One” (Al Pacino, Ray Liotta, 2011.) In 2010 he worked with up-and-coming independent filmmaker Victoria Mahoney on her gritty debut “Yelling to the Sky” (Zoe Kravitz, Gabourey Sibide) premiering in Berlin and SXSW. He and Jimmy Haun co-wrote the score for David Arquette’s directorial debut thriller “The Tripper” back in 2006, and Wittman most recently completed the original music for Sony Pictures “Never Back Down II” directed by Michael Jai White.

In 2011 his music video “Whole Foods Parking Lot” received over 3 million hits on YouTube, and earned him appearances on the Today Show, ABC and NBC News, NPR Radio, and Bloomberg TV. His creative collective “Fog and Smog” comprised of friends and creative associates from the SF Bay Area and LA continues to release videos and work on projects together.

lol u spent ur day continuing this conversation

― Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Thursday, December 29, 2011 8:39 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink

the only thing worse than a drive-by smh is when it's coming from someone who already spent their entire morning itt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U

"what's with these homies dissing my girl/why do they gotta front"

No Cuomo

hot damn! you mean i can loathe that song because it's racist, and not just because it's fucking annoying?

http://www.charismatickid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Screen-shot-2010-06-15-at-4.57.50-PM.jpg

"what did we ever do to these guys, to make them so VIOLENT"

djdave2005

lol

lol i forgot 'swagger wagon' was directed by that piece of shit observe & report guy

i like to imagine djdave having a mixtape full of drops from jeff bridges just like the commercial

"you could drop... a beat-beat-beat-beat-b-b-b-b-beat-beat" ::air horns::

swagger wagon dad is from upright citizens brigade

/Onion News Network

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3w2MTXBebg

MC ROVE