Sandbox Romants: Wooing and Problems

Ppl like this do things like that (mostly)

caveat emptor, etc...

Anyway...I'm still too nervous to date in this college town after my last bad experience. I started writing to my long-distance crush again. She wrote a brief reply indicating that she doesn't hate me. I guess that counts as a victory. Work and school are going so well right now, I feel like I may be happy to continue concentrating on that. But I long for affection.

If I am correct, then this bogeyman of socialization is really not so very bad, because it mostly kicks in when the stakes don't matter. When they do, you blow right by it and come to grips with the situation.

This is completely not true at all in my life, or the lives of women I have witnessed/heard from. The plural of stories people tell me is not anec-data, yes I know, but I feel you are enormously overstating the equality of these kinds of pressures and understating the cost to women.

La condition humaine

Break a proverbial leg, Monsieur Farmer

Aimless points to my willingness to argue wih him as proof that I exaggerate the pressure on women to be compliant. Remy characterizes this same argument as snapping and snark.

Interesting.

thejenny, you were being snappy and snarky. to wit:

Aimless, Remy, I am being sarcastic in my previous post, FYI.

― thejenny, Wednesday, November 30, 2011 8:44 PM (45 minutes ago)

no harm/no foul, I don't even really care, and I'm getting out of this conversation from here on out. But please don't string me up for a point I never made. Interesting, my eye.

I mean right here on this thread you have frogsbs exhibiting exactly what I think jenny and I are *both* talking about, when he says "most good women have a sixth sense about avoiding hurting anyone's feelings"!!! How are we even reading the same thread and you (plural) don't seem to be picking up on that at all?! Frogs is a shocking retrograde, I admit, and possibly x% trolling at all times, but I still think he's not un-representative of what some people think.

I think I might add Confidence Building to my seminar/workshop repertoire

Why are you nervous Mr Farmer?

Frogs is possibly a (hardly) shocking retrograde and (per the the thread designation) end up wooing the women he deserves.

He's married. If that is, in fact, him.

not convinced that frogbs is frogbs tbph

Well, he's done his wooing then...

xpost

xp - I was more certain earlier. I have a back-up in mind if it turns out not to be frogs.

Hey Pyth, what're you doing Saturday? ;)

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3289/2968815250_37ce96cb59_b.jpg

helLOO where can i find a Real Man?

Jon Arbuckle what a limp penis!

Painting woodwork and seeing a married friend, in fact!

I thought about saying yes to the daet tonight but you know, it was giving me the anxiety and meant rearranging my schedule and just, no. I shouldn't start out by agreeing to things that make me unhappy, even if it makes me uncomfortable to define that boundary.

Why are you nervous Mr Farmer?
I live in a fishbowl college town and my last dating experience was a disaster. Also, I have very strong feelings for someone who lives 1000 miles away, who I've seen twice in the last eleven months, and I don't have the resources to increase that number. But I can't let go! Sorry, I'm listening to George Michael right now.

guilty feet have got no rhythm

George Michael!

this thread has turned into a shining example of how men are socialized to think they are right all the time and talk over the people, amirite?

:)

no man is ever "Right" enough for me!

I just nuked a kind of hilarous 600 word post on the grounds that somebody might get mad at me. i'm not even good at arguing about gender - i fail at man 101

Painting woodwork and seeing a married friend, in fact!

Lame Melusine reference, sorry

I shouldn't start out by agreeing to things that make me unhappy

Don't be a coward but don't waste anybody's time, either. If you're vaguely interested but not for tonight, don't go; you wouldn't be doing either of you a favor.

this thread has turned into a shining example of how men are socialized to think they are right all the time and talk over the people, amirite?

Or how you should own your own desires and state them, preferably politely, tho

http://leemasaur.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/hedonismbot.jpg

Mr Farmer, do you know what you're looking for?

Companionship? Fucking? An escape fantasy from a 1K distant torch? Someone to dine with? What?

i fail at man 101

Luckily we're all mortals

Or how you should own your own desires and state them, preferably politely, tho

need 2get laid, pls, thx

Lookin for a love that's right for me
I don't know how long it's gonna be

need 2get laid, pls, thx

How's that pu line working for you?

"I say! You wouldn't be interested in a good shag would you, by any chance? Just thought I'd ask."

Lookin for a love that's right for me
I don't know how long it's gonna be
aw i just listened to this song like 1 hr ago

I have lived in a fishbowl college town too, and it sounds like you're healing by hiding out with Ms 1000miles away. Maybe you don't really want to meet anyone right now.

don't look now, there's a monkey on yr back

http://www.jamesfinngarner.com/images/blogimages/monkey-centerfold.jpg

mmm

Have you seen macaque? It's quite sexy.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Macaca_nigra_self-portrait.jpg/425px-Macaca_nigra_self-portrait.jpg

my heart... melts!

ew, more like
http://www.animalcorner.co.uk/wildlife/monkeys/graphics/nwemptam.jpg

^movember winner

I have seen a lot of tv programmes in which mothers are all 'did you know {foo} has two children now, when are you going to meet a nice boy/girl and settle down' but I have never met a person who's said their mother says that.

agreeing w/ ppl who say nah this totally happens, and that Garfield's owner reads like frogbs

I pity the [foo] who has two children now

why do {foo}s fall in love?

forton fears a foo

Lol after reading this thread I'm feeling p good about my sandbox transvestitism*

*real word?

Jesus McKinnon Christ

LOL

i am ready to date a stranger just to see how that works

guys okcupid looks really stupid do i really have to do this

make it a gay date. at the last minute.

i haven't worn my ring for a week and the groove in my finger is still there, i'm sort of enjoying watching it fade and wondering how long it'll take

.....