TITTWIS 43 - Sandbox Edition

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From my lj:

A few French terms of abuse
'Le' is pronounced like if you started to say "look" but were quickly cut off.
I've marked the 'u's as being like 'oo' in 'toot' but to be exact, it's prononced by pursing the lips and saying 'ee'. Try it.


Le salaud (le sah-low)- Bastard, asshole, fucker. It's derived from the word 'sale' which means dirty.

La salope (la sah-lope)- Bitch, slut. The female version also has the connotation of easy sexual mores. Literally, 'bitch' is 'la chienne' (la she-en) but it's less prevalent than in English.

Le con (le con, the 'o' as in mow but the 'n' is that weird nasally 'n' of French) - Literally 'cunt', it means both stupid and malicious. It's used like dick/prick in English.

La conne (la cunn) - Female version of 'con'. 'Cunt' but not nearly as offensive as that word is in American English.

Le connard (le co-nar) - With suffixes to exagerate them, 'connard' and 'connasse' are essentially like 'con'. English has borrowed diminutive suffixes ('ette', for example) but no suffixes to denote that something is larger so we use auxilliaries; something like 'big fat prick' or 'fucking cunt'.

La connasse (la co-nass)- see previous

La pouffiasse (la poof-yass) Cunt, slag. If you call a girl this to her face, you'll likely get slapped.

La putain (la poot-a-as-in-'mad' and the French nasal thing)- Whore. It is also, with 'merde' (mared), the most common vulgar exclamation in French so, when said without the article ("Putain!"), it's equivalent to 'fuck!' 'Fils de pute' (feess de poot)is 'sonofabitch'.

L'enculé (lon-queue-lay)- Literally 'buggered' or 'sodomised', it's something like 'fucking asshole' in English.

Le trou du cul (le true doo queue) - Literally 'asshole'.

"Putain de merde! T'es un vrai enculé, tu sais?" could be translated as "Motherfucking shit! You're a real fucking asshole, you know?"

"C'est une poufiasse, celle-là." - "That one's a bitch."

"Ça t'amuse d'être si con tout le temps" - "Do you have fun being such a dick all the time?"

"Ve te faire enculer, connasse!" - Would be literally, "Go get yourself fucked in the ass, bitch."

Michael White (Miguelito), Monday, 12 February 2007 16:23 (seventeen years ago) link

i always liked "scheisse" too.

It sounds too much like sneezing, which seems too twee to be effectively sweary.

ailsa_xx (ailsa_xx), Monday, 12 February 2007 16:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Awake again!

Kids do learn the swear words that you spout out. When 4l3x was about 3 he started saying, "Shit! I mean 'shoot,'" because I kept trying to modify my swearing in front of him. I've given up and gone back to just plain swearing.

Maybe I should consider some of these other languages, though. Hmmmm.

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Monday, 12 February 2007 16:52 (seventeen years ago) link

*HOW* did I never come across poufiasse before now?

I was taught salaud, saloppe, con (though interestingly not conne), putain and enculé at a young age by a frenchman who thought it was hilarious to hear little English girls being pottymouthed in furren. He also taught me bordelle*, in the bedroom = pigsty sense. I uttered a few of these mots during a French lesson once and got into all kinds of trouble with Mrs Willis. I just had no idea of their strength. I think it's funny now, but teenage Madchen was mortified.

*we should translate this expression into English. The Italians have che casino, after all.

Madchen (Madchen), Monday, 12 February 2007 17:28 (seventeen years ago) link

I might print out the french swear words for handy reference. I would sound so sophisticated!

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Monday, 12 February 2007 17:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Ha ha! I love that people think French is 'sophsticated' when it's often just an earthy language as crude or as refined as any other.

What I should do is record me reading those so you have an idea of how to say them, Sam.

Quel bordel! Che casino! What a brothel! I just don't think it would work, Madchen. Maybe 'what a cathouse!'

Michael White (Miguelito), Monday, 12 February 2007 18:20 (seventeen years ago) link

you should make what I'm sure would be a very popular web page -The M.White Guide to French Vulgarities

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Monday, 12 February 2007 18:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Go get yourself fucked in the ass

this is the classic czech insult (jdi do prdel). the polish version is very similar.

Lauren (lauren), Monday, 12 February 2007 18:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Quel bordel! Che casino! What a brothel! I just don't think it would work, Madchen. Maybe 'what a cathouse!'

Haha, there is a popular Glasgow nightclub called "the cathouse". Madchen has been known to frequent it.

ailsa_xx (ailsa_xx), Monday, 12 February 2007 18:28 (seventeen years ago) link

this is the classic czech insult (jdi do prdel). the polish version is very similar.

And in Italian.

Michael White (Miguelito), Monday, 12 February 2007 18:31 (seventeen years ago) link

a frenchman who thought it was hilarious to hear little English girls being pottymouthed in furren

The English accent is kind of funny in French, though.

Michael White (Miguelito), Monday, 12 February 2007 18:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh good, Sandbox. I like this better than regular ILX because it's fresher ground. And TITTWIS to boot! This is a treat.

I remember my parents swearing at each other for nearly as long as I can remember, and they used to say words such as "damn" to me (i.e. mild expletives) starting from when I hit adolescence. But I was not allowed to swear, not even "damn", not even when I was 18 and accidentally said the word "damn" to my parents, which caused my mom to slap me hard. I didn't start getting away with swearing in front of my parents until I was 21, and even then it took a few years for me to stop flinching and apologizing after saying it. So French swear words could've been useful. And children who hear their parents swearing aren't necessarily likely to repeat it, at least not in front of their parents. (Especially if it'd been insinuated that that thing was not acceptable were the child to value his/her life.)

I'm starting to use moisturizers on a regular basis now, finally getting on board with that whole thing, and it's remarkable how I can actually FEEL the difference radiating from the inside of me. I had no idea my skin was that much in discomfort. I suppose that before my skin felt uneasy, uncomfortable, overly sensitive to things touching it. But now it feels like it's finally at rest. And it looks better too, less ashen and more like I suppose the way it's supposed to look after all my efforts to avoid the sun as much as I reasonably can.

Am kinda wary of hitting that Submit button, but oh well.

Phoenix (is still) Dancing (krushsister), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 03:17 (seventeen years ago) link

No need to worry, at least with me; I've been obsessively moisturizing and avoiding the sun since I was 14. (Of course, it is usually necessary to avoid the sun when your skin tone is "clown white," and if you have dry skin in Minnesota, you are hard pressed to not apply something.)

I kind of felt like all this effort paid off a bit at my last high school reunion when a friend's husband met both me and my sister (who is younger than me but married a classmate). He told me that I looked younger than her. So I say moisturize away!

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 04:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh Sara, you're so sweet. Yeah, I'm actually really late to the moisturizing game. Living in a humid climate has stalled that, but also a general sort of inattention to those sorts of things has also contributed to that. So THAT'S the secret to looking younger longer, huh? Moisturizing? Who'd have thought it? Well, not me anyway. That is VERY interesting. And I actually have olive-toned skin, but I still avoid the sun because (a.) I don't really like it anyway and (b.) because I've found out that I tan really easily and I don't want to be tanned.

Phoenix (is still) Dancing (krushsister), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 06:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh dear, I'm hoping that doesn't evince a really negative response.

Phoenix (is still) Dancing (krushsister), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 06:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, I was going to say, in response to "So THAT'S the secret to looking younger longer, huh? Moisturizing? Who'd have thought it?" : well, erm, everyone who's seen a magazine / TV advert ever.

But I don't want to give a negative response since you've told me not to.

I don't moisturise because I can't be arsed. I'm sure it'd probably help somehow if I did, but I'm managing just fine without.

ailsa_xx (ailsa_xx), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 08:19 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm with alisa on why I don't mostruize (well bother with almost all beauty regimns period.) During the winter I often do though, when my skin feels dry (which is probably too late). but I"m still being plaguesd with acne which makes me want nothing to touch my skin!

Last night we finally removed our wall cabinets in prepreation for the new ones arriving on Friday. Oh my god the evidence of past termite damage was terrifying. . . Also having your food and dishes spread around the house is not fun. It's likely to be that way for weeks. :(

I need to upload some of the pics. I think I have about a month's worth of photos languishing on my camera!

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:23 (seventeen years ago) link

I also moisturize because I am VAIN! Seriously. (Uh, also because my little sister is a beauty queen type and I never was.) I would definitely have more trouble doing it if I had suffered much acne, but then again if you have oilier skin, you probably don't need the moisture so much in the first place...

Sam the termite thing sounds awful. The whole idea of termites freaks me out!

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:40 (seventeen years ago) link

fortunately they are long gone. We had the house inspected by a termite dude before we bought it and were assured the previous owners had eradicated them, used the best posion, etc etc. But you really can't tell how bad the damage was until you get inside the walls. They leave little tunnel-like trails as they digest the paper of your drywall. Behind our cabinets the wall was as brittle and thin as eggshell and it looked like a kid's ant farm had once lived there. Totally disgusting!

G. banished me and my asthmatic ways to the bedroom as he cleaned it all up but we will probably end up having to re-sheetrock that whole wall.

Our house is old by the way. This is what you get with old houses.

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:45 (seventeen years ago) link

It sounds like something I'd like to see - but living near it would make me worry, even if the termites were gone. On the other hand, I guess if the wall was re-sheetrocked I'd probably feel better and never worry about it again...

Also, I love the idea of a "termite dude."

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:48 (seventeen years ago) link

I think the Scots version is a howf (sp? and a few x-posts)

Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:51 (seventeen years ago) link

How old, Sam?

Michael White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:53 (seventeen years ago) link

1954. which is old by TX standards.

Sara, I will post a link to the pics when I upload. It is fascinating yet horrifying at the same time (mostly b/c it's my kitchen.)

Tonight we are having our valentine's dinner since only fools go out to eat on actual valentine's.

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I will look forward to seeing these pics!

Smart move going out tonight; actual Valentine's Day goings-out are overcrowded. We have no plans to go out at all; we haven't even been able to find a sitter so that we can go out for my birthday (which is rapidly fading into the past).

Are you going someplace special, Sam? Or trying something new?

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:05 (seventeen years ago) link

probably not. probably tex-mex and margaritas which is what we both like most anyway. I'll take any chance to drink margaritas!

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:06 (seventeen years ago) link

and yes we should enjoy the going out for margaritas as much as possible before we reach the point of needing babysitters first. ;)

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Watch out; I hear margaritas can figure into winding up needing babysitters. ;)

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:08 (seventeen years ago) link

*insert shocked smiley face here*

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Just remember: I have two kids.

I REALLY want a margarita now, too.

Ahem, not to worry, though; A. had a vasectomy after J. was born. (TMI alert!)

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Funnily enough, circumstances have dictated we having r valdin the day after.

Which is nice.. Not packed restaurant and can pick the one we like / to try/ best!

xpost ditto. TMI also.

M Grout (Mark Grout), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I am going to watch LOST on Valentine's Day. And worry about the take-home test I'll get on Thursday. But I do have presents for A. So at least we're doing something! (hopefully not TMI)

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:16 (seventeen years ago) link

presents? TMI?

I have to finish stitching G.'s tonights. I hope he doesn't go overboard for me b/c in the end mine are nothing special.

I will also be watching Lost on vday!

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:24 (seventeen years ago) link

since only fools go out to eat on actual valentine's.

It will be our 4th or 5th anti-Valentine's day dinner. We gather up our friends, especially the single ones and go out to dinner. The hardest res on 2/14 is a deuce but for a table for 12, it's a cinch.

Michael White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:29 (seventeen years ago) link

do you make reservations far in advance? how is service?

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Mmm, hello everyone. My anti-Valentine's dinner is with three friends tomorrow night at my fave local spot the Avanti Cafe. Reservations already in place.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:34 (seventeen years ago) link

We made our res some time ago, Sam, but we've had to tweak it as people cancel or get added. We're going to the same place as last year 'cause it's reasonable and the service was good.

Michael White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:42 (seventeen years ago) link

These large group activities sound extremely fun; I never had that brilliant of a plan for anti-Valentine's day.

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:30 (seventeen years ago) link

mmm, Sauce, sounds saucy. :) (also, obv. Michael, you are not a fule.)

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:34 (seventeen years ago) link

re: kids and swearing

My son is at this age right now where he REALLY gets a kick out of saying things that are ALMOST swears, ie "son of a biscuit!", "holy grits!" etc. Sometimes when I and other adults accidentally cuss or say things akin to cussing, he will ask "is that okay for kids to say?". I think he's hoping I slip up one day and goes running to his mom school "FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK...dad said it was okay!".

nklshs (nklshs), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:44 (seventeen years ago) link

It makes me really proud of him to see that he, at 7, has enough self-control to not say things that aren't parent-approved.

nklshs (nklshs), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:45 (seventeen years ago) link

I am doing absolutely nothing for Valentine's Day, and you know, I'm perfectly okay with that. So hey, Sara, I'll babysit! :)

(stupid distance.)

luna (luna), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Spencer does that too, sorta - "Mama, is crap a bad word? Can I say it? What about hell?"

luna (luna), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Spencer and the Nickboy need to form a rap duo. Titled that.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Someone swears on the DVD or the TV..

Amber (nine nearly): "oh, Shall I turn it over?"

Blummin sensible kids.

M Grout (Mark Grout), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:52 (seventeen years ago) link

I wish you could babysit; we are supposed to go to a party at A's boss's house on Friday, but 4 sitters have turned us down, as have my parents. I think we're doomed.

I swear way more than I should and usually Al3x doesn't repeat it. (J. does sometimes, though). The funny thing is that Al3x will call me out on really mild words like, "crap," which are apparently not allowed in school. He just ignores it if I use serious swear words.

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:55 (seventeen years ago) link

Spencer picked up a couple of bad words when he was very small "FUCK FUCK FUCK!" (oh that pleased my mom somethin' fierce), but now (if he doesn't ignore me) he does says things like "mama, you shouldn't SAY that! It's a BAD word!"

I should totally tell people I will babysit on Valentine's Day - I never thought of it. I mean, we have movies and a ton of video games and popcorn and ... yeah.

luna (luna), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:57 (seventeen years ago) link

You could have a crowd of kids! And if you have kids, then they'd have someone to play with and you wouldn't have to entertain them...

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I know, right? Most of my friends here either don't have kids, or have kids that are way older than mine and don't need babysitting, so I'll probably just order chinese and watch sappy movies. It's cool.

luna (luna), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:14 (seventeen years ago) link

I didn't know where else to post this but it made me laugh.

Eve de Harben?

Michael White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 19:25 (seventeen years ago) link

i would host a lost-vday fap (will kate choose sawyer or jack?) but there's that, you know, distance thing.

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 19:28 (seventeen years ago) link

i had to go shopping for work yesterday. it was rad! i spent $298! on FOOD thats just going to be photographed and then hopefully eaten, by me.

maunders (maunders), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Sam, Charlie Louvin was a member of The Louvin Brothers, and he's a bit of a country legend. He sang lots of old-timey gospel, bluegrass and straight up country. Well, he still does (hence his interview last night). Hearing him talk about this (one of the more famous Louvin Bros. albums) was fantastic:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002U45.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg


And then he told me blonde jokes. Charlie Louvin is a CARD!

molly mummenschanz (molly d), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 16:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Louvin Bros. are famous for their harmonizing, right?

Michael White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 16:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Yup! Ira (who has since passed away) had a high tenor voice, a la Bill Monroe. Charlie was telling stories about Bill Monroe and I almost passed out.

molly mummenschanz (molly d), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 16:55 (seventeen years ago) link

Between Sam and maunders, I know whose job I want.

I'm clueless about Charlie Louvin (and country music in general), but he sounds pretty fun!

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 16:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm pretty sure I saw an 'American Experience' type doc that mentioned the Louvins.

Michael White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I also easily get crushes on little old men. His new album is out ("wherever records are sold"), and it has folks like Jeff Tweedy, Elvis Costello and Will Oldham (whose name he couldn't remember -- adorable!) making guest appearances.

I just got my hair cut and spent way too much money on product. Having curly hair is a bitch.

molly mummenschanz (molly d), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:02 (seventeen years ago) link

i just got to make sure a famous designers trust account was looking good. it must be nice to have 25 million dollars in a trust.

thebingo (thebingo), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:06 (seventeen years ago) link

Musn't it, Chris?

Vienna

Prague

My upcoming trip is looking kinda rough.

Michael White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link

i've also had numerous baseball players accounts, an american idols account and one famous attorney with a penchant for rhyming.

thebingo (thebingo), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:10 (seventeen years ago) link

it must also be nice to have a schmuck like me look it over to make sure its all in good order....

thebingo (thebingo), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:12 (seventeen years ago) link

I wonder if gynecologists ever feel that way?

Michael White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:14 (seventeen years ago) link

The Louvin Brothers

ahh, duh. I knew the name was familiar. I actually used to date a guy whose brother duo patterened themselves largely on the louvin bros. eons ago.

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael, rough indeed! Those sure aren't hostels.

I once created a file for one of the biggest Bollywood film stars. He had great press shots of himself. I wanted to keep them and hang them all over my cube.

molly mummenschanz (molly d), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 17:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Everyone has cooler jobs than I do! (Of course, when you don't really have a job...)

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 19:45 (seventeen years ago) link

i'll trade you!

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 19:47 (seventeen years ago) link

I beg to differ, Sara.

luna (luna), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Good point luna - I meant a paid job.

(Kids are a huge, relentless job and don't let anyone tell you any different!)

Sam, we should trade for a day! (Today would be good; it's even 45 degrees out here, so the weather wouldn't scare you off in 5 minutes.)

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

It still stands - I get paid for this suck ass bullshit demeaning demoralizing dealing with men who are crying babies nonsense, but let me tell you, it's not a cooler job than anyone's.

luna (luna), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 20:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Okay, yours doesn't sound that good; I admit it.

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 20:29 (seventeen years ago) link


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