domestic outrages chronicle

you poor things, my pipes are perfect.

i just got our windows cleaned for the first time in 8 years, that is a bonafide domestic outrage.

i came here to post that but then i got carried away with boastfulness.

i am no longer outraged at my bathtub :)

Outrageously, we are OUT OF TONIC!!!

tsk.

Evidence of drunken debauchery strewn all over the house this morning, and the cats are Not Amused.

our fruit flies are too stupid to figure out how to go into the jarbl, much less how to get out of the fucking thing. jesus.

those little assholes are just walking around on the outside. goddamn motherfuckers, get in the jarbl!

i am outraged.

i made the holes bigger and 2 of them got in! now they're walking around inside. at what point do they go in the liquid and die from the pleasure of drinking too much balsamic vinegar? cuz if they just keep walking around, at some point someone's going to find the way out. and tell all the others.

5!! walking around still, though.

It can take awhile for those bastards to get overwhelmed and drowned. I usually use a mix of sugar and yeast in water for maximum attraction and death, and cut the hole in a T shape. The draping down bits from the T cut get them more confused about the way out, generally. But sometimes you get a smart one.

In other pestilence news - my yard is full of slug traps, paper cups tilted sideways with a few inches of beer (Bridgestone Indian Pale Ale, I think). Except now they are full of dead slug stew :/

7 now, and a couple more lurking around on the container. an especially crafty one walked in then walked right back out, suspicious little devil. as far as i know, none have died and none have escaped.

i think one of them is nearly succumbed. poor little fucker. it's sort of horrible.

ok now they're dropping. like flies. i can't watch.

jergins just laughed at me for being kind of sad.

Well, if there was a way to put them outside and make them stay....
But, there's not, so this is their path to the after-party.

and they go in a vinegary bliss.

on more than one occasion i have announced to the garden that f., harry and i live inside and everyone else has to live outside and most have listened but in every walk of life there are always a few luck pushers.

my little luck-pushers seem to be on the other side of their luck now. jergins swirled the jarbl to hurry them along.

there must be 25 wee bundles of booty there at the bottom of davy jones' cask.

rip unlucky luck pushers.

i discovered my 'last peeler you'll ever buy' in the trash can under a mound of vegetable peelings, and to add an extra layer of outrage it was my second last peeler you'll ever buy, my first last peeler you'll ever buy got thrown out the first week i owned it and i didn't realise in time.

― estela, Monday, June 29, 2009 7:12 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

good riddance second or maybe third last peeler i'll ever buy, hello third or is it fourth last peeler i'll ever buy, i hope you don't leap into the trash like those other ingrates.

fucking grain moths!!!

i had noticed a lot of moths but thought maybe it's a seasonal thing. no! they were breeding inside a little bag of pumpkin seeds i had forgot about. they turned the seeds to dust. i just threw out a lot of plastic-bagged foods like dried beans and stuff. so grosssssssssssss. i vacuumed a bunch of the moths up. can they escape from bagless? i guess i have to dump that out too at some point but i'm scared.

i need to buy more cat litter and i usually use the stuff made of corn but maybe i have to switch to something else because i should not have a big bag of corn sitting around while i'm trying to get rid of these things

oh ugh, i hate those fucking things. maybe you can make a moth jarbl and put some pumpkin seeds in the bottom to lure them.

i need to make a new jarbl because the fruit fly population is on the rise again, but i used up all my jars on jarbls. i vacuumed up a few of those too!

i was so irresponsible with food storage because nothing like this had ever happened to me but i was aware of the risk and just chose to ignore it. i had stuff in its original paper bags like tapioca flour and corn meal and buckwheat flour! i hope it helps that i tossed it.

so far i do not have pests but i am outraged at my leaky sink!
must call landlord. always put it off. what am i afraid of? i don't know! he is so nice!

i am going to target today and i am going to make my domestic life less of an outrage

tried jaq's yeast and sugar concoction in the jarbl today. dumped some of each into warmish water, stirred, and lidded. after several hours there was only a very thin layer of foam, and no fruit flies. couple of more hours, two inches of foam and about 7 fruit flies roaming around on the underside of the lid, and one who was intrepidly tip-toeing along on top of the foam. i lolled very much before i swirled the jarbl and sunk all of them.

saturday in the car, on our way to the island, jergins and i lamented that we hadn't had time to clean up the kitchen before we left. "oh well," jergins said. "there's still monday." "i think we'll need to do a jarbl by then, too," i replied.

and then we congratulated ourselves and the sandbox for having a word for the fruit fly annihilator.

fruit flies crawled into my bottle of rice vinegar because it was not snapped closed enough. only two. they died. i guess it's time to buy some new rice vinegar!

I am thinking a lot about dear Harry the thoroughly rotten domestic brigand today.

ME TOO

<3 so far so good, he is staying at the vets tonight and i can bring him home tomorrow.

thank you for your kind thoughts, it really helped to know people were sending him good wishes, that little bosthoon. in the car this morning his round black eyes were shining with joy wondering where we were going on this fine spring morning, it was a heartbreaker.

the landlord calls and says she needs to come over and check out a minor mold situation in our bedroom, but makes a point of telling us that it's not an Inspection Of The House, so we should just close the doors to any rooms we don't won't her looking in.

our bathroom is a disaster but i get home pretty late the night before so i figure fuckit i'll just close the door.

2 days later she calls to say that she had to use the bathroom to wash her hands (UM HELLO WE HAVE TAPS AND HAND SANITIZER IN THE KITCHEN) and she 'noticed' some 'issues'.

she sounds like one of my least favourite kind of people in the world.

if she brings it up again pretend you thought she noticed some tissues.

hi i'm harbly posting on lxy's computer

― lxy, Saturday, October 8, 2011 4:04 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

i was stupid and bought more corn cat litter and the moths are back. i gotta get an airtight bucket i guess. BLARGH

the good news is i'm going to clean my house, once and for all

i changed the bulbs in my kitchen to CFLs because i had accidentally gotten 40 w bulbs a while ago and it was too dark and i was getting new ones and now it's *very* bright in the kitchen but it seems very yellow-green like i am in a storage room. it's the bulbs but also the kitchen has bright green walls. kind of an outrage. not sure what i'll do.

i keep looking at them and now little blue spots are floating in front of my eyes

the good news is i'm going to clean my house, once and for all
i say this like, every 3 days and then... oopsie.

lol yeah it's not really clean yet. but last weekend i made a lot of progress.

there was some outrageous noise coming from under the living room floor this morning. WTF!???!

it sounded like a beaver was gnawing on the ceiling with its gigantic, yellowed teeth. but there was no beaver to be found in the basement so...?