new zealand.

a short play from two saturdays ago.

cast: fiancee, sneak.

location:home. the sneak has just arrived home from work.

fiancee: hello, how many licorice bullets are left? you are a sneak who cannot be trusted, i think you have been eating them all! you keep saying they are yours, but they are ours! estela gave them to us!

sneak (airily): no she didn't, they were for me and the jaffas are yours, it's just that i kindly share them with you even though i don't have to, but anyway it doesn't matter how many i've eaten because i received a mysterious new stash today.

fiancee and sneak: ???lol

sneak: they must have been a couple of australians.

we wondered if we should have spoken, whether our accents would have really turned things upside down

they were pleased to learn you were nonsense lovers from seattle.

is there cliffs notes for that play

oh, :) !

it takes a true sneak to get a fresh stash out of thin air on bullets confrontation day.

that is awesome!!!

yes, every single bit of it is.

does that store have a security camera? how i wish there were a shaky, grainy film of the event, taken from the ceiling corner behind the counter.

i'm going to new zealand, on friday!!!!!

aw3some. which city are you flying into?

auckland. only going for the weekend, my friends are getting married up in the bay of islands. i've been there before - it was nice!

48 hours till i go to the airport!!!!!!!!!

i am going to eat:
lots of BLTs
roast lamb with mint sauce
lamb chops with mint sauce
custard squares
raspberry lamingtons
chocolate lamingtons
cream-filled long doughnuts
eclairs
mince and cheese pies
bridge pies
potato top pies
lots of marmite and butter on slices of vogels

and you're going to bring jaffas for me, right? pretty pretty pretty please?

:( i'm not going to be able to be there where you are, j. i was really hoping i would but i've got shingles and my father has never had chickenpox so i can't visit him until it clears up since my shingles could give him chickenpox, and he is due to have cancer surgery in a few weeks so i have to be super cautious. i hope you have a wonderful time, you will love being home, i always do. don't forget about meal mates and rj's licorice logs.

smoove is this your first time back since you left? if so, wow. glad you're getting a chance to get back there. i wonder if you'll feel like a different person! or even a little bit american?

two nights ago i dreamt me and lxy were in picton and i said LET'S GET IN THE CAR, WE'RE GOING TO DUNEDIN NOW what does this dream mean

ohhh estela i wish you could be there too! but another time it'll have to be... maybe seattle in the future?!

lxy, email me sometime over the next two weeks to remind me about the jaffas and i will def bring you some!

jergy-jergz this IS my first time back - it's been almost 2 years!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am super excited, it's gonna be totally weird and totally awesome to be there with jordan, walking down the same streets in welly that i used to walk down thinking about him and wishing he was there. i can't wait to show him around, and introduce him to all my friends! we're having a small party at nic0lini's with all my friends, one of my oldest and dearest friends is making the trip down from auckland for it, and my little sis (who couldn't make it here for our wedding) is coming to it as well. and i've missed my mad surrogate italian family soooooooooo much, i can't wait to squeeze them all!!!

also estela i am so sorry about your shingles and your dad :( i hope his treatment goes really well.

smoove can i has some kind of awesome candy?
i have something i have to mail you that i've had since december oopsie!

i hope you two have the best trip ever!!!!!!

hahahaha i still have the tiny present we were supposed to mail to you! but it is a 'seattle thing' so it might just make you sad now ;_;

my folks brought over 5kg of lollies/biscuits/licorice/cream eggs and we ate it all within 10 days

hopefully we will eat so much shit while we're there that we won't be tempted to eat the presents we bring home for you guys

i am here!!!!!!!!!!!

but fuck nz internet tbh. we're paying 30 a day for LIMITED usage and it is so dang slow and cuts in and out continuously.

i get spam emails from a store in nz called "hallenstein's" every day. please tell them to stop when you get a chance

Star of our current production is new zealish. Got a vm from the embassy inviting him to come be honored and it made me think of j&j <3

hi guys! we are fuckin exhausted and having a relaxing eve in our hotel room. harbz, hallensteins is a gross and cheap menswear store here. i will personallly stop by tomorrow and tell them to leave you alone.

jergz & lx: did you visit the karori wildlife sanctuary while you were here? i never went the whole 10yrs i lived here but we went yesterday and it is really beautiful. we saw a TUATARA!

our kiwi star stopped by will call tonight and he is DREAMY just fyi.

hi ruby i am so glad u having a good time in nz. we didn't go to the sanctuary, mostly walked around town. glad to hear ytth is into hiking possibilities. we drove out to the end of the heapy track and i def had some WOWS WHAT would it be like 2 start this? i think abt nz a lot: green like here but different. the other side of a coin, you kmow the value it's just another way to look @ the value. and it's upside down.
me and lx were doing the reminisce y-day and thought back to this funny old man bar in greymouth, soccer scarves in every corner, rugby on tv, a fkin sunset outside, over the river. lx got salty fries and i got whiskey and 7-up yuck and then we walked alomg the river and both thought (confirmed later) 'damn no one knows where we are, this is A PLACE.' across the street was a building that said BANK OF NEW ZEALAND but the ppl had whited it out also it said A NEW LAND. fuckin great ajd there you have it, new zealand. have fun and post pix!

skimming this i read 'salty eyes' not salty fries

chances are i got salty eyes at some point

sultry eyes at the bookstore point.

ruby, i texted you on saturday but you probably don't have your phone on. but i wanted to wish you a happy party and a happy trip. i'm glad ytth likes nz, i thought he would. i was really going to try to get to your party, it would have worked out well with seeing my father, had i not got these stupid shingles. which aren't very bad at all, i've been lucky, but i can't risk giving him chicken pox when his immune system is already suppressed. maybe next time you're there it will work out! <3<3<3

<3 <3 <3!!! i didn't get yr text estela but thanks!

well, we had quite an adventure:

i got food poisoning the day of our wedding party, so i was pretty subdued and couldn't eat anything, but i rallied despite the fact that i had a mega crying fit about 20mins before we had to be at the restaurant bc i felt so ill. loved seeing my friends, didn't really get to talk to a few of them, felt totally bummed that it really wasn't the 'party' i had anticipated.

all my friends and my italians loved loved loved jordan (of course!).

went to new plymouth and:
went up the mountain (jordan totally tripped out on the scenery)
went to the dinky little observatory i loved as a kid, but they're no longer running the planetarium which was basically my most favourite thing in the world HOWEVER afterwards we were outside and HOLY SHIT we saw this incredibly bright and beautiful 'shooting star' plus two less extravagant ones
it rained and thundered and lightning'd like CRAZY the last 3 days we were there - we went for this drive along the 'forgotten world highway' which was incredibly beautiful - through this isolated gorge and then to this amazing huge waterfall (the highest or second highest in the nth island depending on which book you check)
i ate too much lamb and basically had stomach issues the whole time we were in nz, i forgot that i no longer eat much meat, let alone meat fat, and it kind of did me in. then i caught an annoying cold with a terrible scratchy cough

jordan got v v good at his maori pronunciation

we fed the ducks at pukekura park and i was sad to see the koi fish and the swans are gone, and they tore down a big part of the zoo.

and we climbed paritutu rock which was quite the challenge - can't believe we used to literally scamper up there as kids, i was just about dead when we got to the top.

ATTENTION LXY: i have jaffas for you!!! we didn't end up bringing back much stuff for ourselves, we were pretty junkfooded-out by the time we left.

and lastly: had the worst plane ride of my life, in fact the one of the worst experiences of my life, coming back to the US. we hit turbulence after about an hour, which then lasted for another 4 hours - really really bad turbulence, i was nauseous for most of the flight. jordan doesn't fly well due to a serious accident a few years back, so you can imagine that this situation really raised his anxiety levels pretty high.

and really lastly this time: by day 10 i was ready to come 'home'.

oh, i want to go to new zealand! the ladies on america's next top model traveled there, and i realized how gorgeous it is! if you guys plan a hiking trip there, i may stow away in your suitcase (hah! like i'd fit!).

so glad you guys had such a lovely trip (minus the food poisoning). but i am also glad you are back in our world, even if i don't even get to hang out with you.

tza i wasn't sure what to get you, as i don't want to bust up your NN lifestyle BUT i do have two pineapple lump bars if you're interested!!

"please let her say no," smoove prayed fervently.

i am going to eat:
lots of BLTs
roast lamb with mint sauce
lamb chops with mint sauce
custard squares
raspberry lamingtons
chocolate lamingtons
cream-filled long doughnuts
eclairs
mince and cheese pies
bridge pies
potato top pies
lots of marmite and butter on slices of vogels

ruby i emailed you my address so you can just pop those jaffas right into the mail tomorrow.

thank you very very much my dear xox <3, lxy.

i posted the jaffas to lxy and pineapple lumps to tza TODAY

RUBY!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! <3<3<3<3

(i cast a magic spell to help facilitate: it was comprised of eating the last 6 jaffas from the bag jergins gave me. and i even let him have one. magic.)

was gonna send you 4 bags but ytth only let me send 3

oh ytth.

well, i can hardly criticize a man who did the thing i would do.

thanks again, ruby. it's awesome of you!

did you know he brought home 14 king sized blocks of whitaker's chocolate

i have to hide them and dole them out over the next 2 years

rubyredddddd, you've made my heart sing:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3381/4625039140_5d0691d715.jpg

thank you so much for the <3<3<3 candy!

<3 you are totally welcome. we would have brought back more, but thanks to ytth losing his wallet right before we left for the airport, we only had 4 mins for our supermarket stop.

thanking you for pineapple lumps!

some day i want to try a perky nana why bc it sounds intersting.

thx 4 jaffas i enjoying them

perky nanas are better than pineapple lumps, actually! and tbh pineapple lump bars aren't that good bc the chocolate to pineapple ratio isn't high enough. next time i will bring you perky nanas!!

i forgot to tell you guys that when we were at the observatory i totally lol'd at the astronomer dude referring to uranus as URanus, obv putting the stress on the first syllable to make it sound less snickery. i still snickered tho.