domestic outrages chronicle

LOL @ autotext striking again!

Persian cukes are kinda ripped though!

omg you guys

A package of mushrooms had the temerity to rot in my fridge before I used them for anything. The nerve of them!

enough cheek for another row of teeth.

my pesto plans are always foiled because i forget and by the time i remember my basil has gone bad :(
xpost

ytth showed some domestic outrage over me calling him a slob to all of the sandbox, and asked that i retract my statement since i came home from work on saturday to find he had meticulously cleaned and tidied our living room and foyer.

shame is an excellent motivator

i found some maggots.

it is intriguing to me that every time i clean the living room it is a complete mess within 24hrs, yet after ytth cleaned last weekend it has now been almost a week of tidiness. he's v v proud of the job he did so now i think i will make him clean more.

he proudly reminded me last night that EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK HE HAS REMOVED OUR DIRTY DINNER PLATES TO THE KITCHEN

you have trained him well! i am v proud of you.

http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/

on national punctuation day, even!

the comment your post got seems "a" bit dodgy.

wow i'm really "proud" of you lxy!

"thank you"

<3

hahaaa nice 1

ironing always turns a rotten mood rottener

watching laurel iron using my kitchen counter as a board made me kind of tickled!

unclogging an long-clogged drain is very satisfying

day and night my house echoes with the sound of small toys being squeaked, my dog is an avid squeaker, sometimes he will wake up and loudly squeak things at 3 in the morning, luckily it fills me with joy because it so rotten. for christmas he got a little blue squeaky octopus and for new year's a little red squeaky crab from the same series and he has been carrying them around and squeaking them everywhere and making comfortable little beds for them and him, and lying down next to them and taking a nap with them and then waking up and squeaking them some more.

lxy <3 harry

there was quite some outrage in my domicile yesterday. it concluded with my landlord shouting at the plumber to "get off my goddamn property or i'm calling the police!"

utter disaster.

!!!

Were you left with functional plumbing???

he was protecting you, that was a burglar dressed like a plumber

sandbox watergate!

oh yes, we have "minimal" service at this point.

we are 4 plumbers, > $1200 billed, and 4 days in, with an estimate for final resolution of 2 weeks, $19k.

thank fuck the landlords are on my side and are dealing with everything going forward. that said, based on yesterday's phone call from the original plumbing company, i may need the services of harblawyer.

outrageous.

we got a good flashlight out of it, though. sam the plumber was too afraid to go back upstairs to get it when he got booted, lol.

it's very important to have a good flashlight handy.

Good flashlights aside, I am outraged at the very idea of "minimal" plumbing functionality.

I mean, it is outrageous that lxy can not flush with impunity! This has been weighing on me all day, and I want to go stand there and indignently foot-tap (with arms crossed and eyes narrowed) until those burglars plumbers are done.

i want you to do that as well (and for someone to film it).

this has to be the biggest domestic outrage ever on this whole sorry thread.

f. and i have always disagreed about bedding because i am a very hot sleeper but he gets cold so a couple of years ago i had a brainwave and bought him a single goose down quilt for his side of the bed so we wouldn't argue any more. harry loved it to death and made a beeline for it every night, and this summer when it became too hot f. put it on the floor and harry ditched us and has slept on it ever since. the other day f. said he didn't really want it back after months of harry lying on it so i got f. a new one and last night was the first time he used it and harry immediately leapt onto the bed and tried to dig a hole in the new quilt and then collapsed and lay around all night on it like a bad baby prince. f. didn't like this but i on the other hand did, i woke up at 3 am and heard harry's tiny regal snores and i lolled and lolled in the darkness.

you and harry are two terrible peas in a pod, i love you both very much :) <3

<3 that's because you're a terrible pea also.

would you guess that i have fruit flies!

i have been pretty clean too, i just have tomatoes out. i took the garbage out an hour ago. it had old bananas and fruit ends and other organic matter.

lol, did you see what I said on the banana thread about you.

moving house is a domestic outrage. i am never doing this again.

we had fruit flies this week too thanks to a crate of peaches that was getting overripe

we just spent 12 hours moving today, plus making car trips every night this last week btw the two places. went back for pretty much the last car load of stuff and the only thing i forgot was THE FUCKING BOX OF BATHROOM STUFF WHICH HAS ENRAGED ME.

i didn't have a shower this morning, i'm all sweaty and gross and dirty and i have no soap or shampoo or a toothbrush or any goddamn thing.

yeah i hate moving more than anything. my lease ends the end of next month and i'd like to move but i think i'm going to wait a couple more months at least until it's not 90º every day.

yeah i one point i just felt like crying. but i'm a bit of a baby about moving, i dunno it just brings up a terrible anxious feeling in me. i counted how many times i've moved house:
6 times before i turned 18
15 times since i turned 18

lucky for me, ytth is pretty much the greatest person in the world and he took care of 80% of the moving situation

iirc there is some statistic abt moving that gets trotted out regularly--like its the 3rd most stressful event for people after divorce and the death of a loved one.

yeah i've heard that too, but i feel like it's such a ridic thing to put on that list. i mean, it's stressful hardcore for about a week and then it's over.

One thing we aren't going to miss about the place we just moved out of: the rat-infested potential zombie attack tunnel to the parking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG8giQdA-eg

aw but won't you miss watching that amazing cardboard hobo palace grow into a cardboard mcmansion? and what about the dude out front with his rocks!

Cardboard shanty guy expanded during June to include a bike storage area!

Drac was outraged last night when he found himself OUTSIDE! He snuck out the back screen door as it was closing behind me, apparently. 15 min later, I kept hearing this very demanding and semi-panic-stricken meowing and found him pacing on the step. He glared at me so hard when I let him in, I'm lucky to still be unmaimed!

...

tmi