questions for the experts II: expertise every day, in every way

cut off all contact

guyz I have been tapped to be an expert witness for a patent case! Has anyone ever done this kind of thing? b/c whoa!? really?! me?!!!??? is all dashing around in my head.

omgggg

itll probably be like an episode of law and order

I need to watch more of those! If Jeff Goldblum is there, I would be agog and worthless.

woah that is awesome!!!! mostly bc i <3 patent law! lol nerd is me!
i only know about patent prosecution really. my litigation experience was pretty limited. but just use yr awesome smarts and wow 'em!

ok i have submitted my expert credentials! could mean a trip to dc even!

whoa! i wanna do that sometime, be an expert. it's like getting to do all the all the fun parts of a case and none of the bad parts!

i love patent law bc it is a place where you can make arguments based on like, one adjective, to show that your/their thing is different than yours! when i tried making these arguments/discussing word interpretation in my entertainment law class, everyone wanted to push me out the window.

u will go to the patent office to witness? that is awesome!

also imagine if our dear jaq's testimony decided the case! how cool would that be?!

i think i could fashion an argument allowing the sandbox to take all the credit

the sandbox is having a very highflying week!

Alas, I was not expert enough. Oh well.

what?! that's ridiculous!

I know! I've been watching Perry Mason reruns for days, preparing.

USPTO getting gypped imo

q: if a white cat crosses your path, does this mean you are in for good luck?

i hope so!

q: if you and a black cat pass but do not cross each other are you safe?

nope

u have to kill jergins as a sacrifice

jerginho wrote this on thread i realy hate fate and obese people! on board I Rate Everything on Dec 29, 2007

if i have to die i would like to be suffocated by 38DDs

is there a question in there somewhere?

is it a bad omen if your light bulb burns out when you first turn it on in the morning?

I don't think so - it's much worse to have one suddenly explode after it's been on for a few hours.

whew, thanks, jaq! what a relief :)

how do i fix my shower head because i think it has mineral deposits or something on the inside

dip your shower head in clr!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqvDD_L7Y_M

lol we have that in nz

experts: in your opinion, if one needs to get up c. 3:45am to leave on time in the morning, is it better to just not go to bed at all?

If there's no danger of one falling asleep on the sofa and missing the 3:45 am mark, staying up makes sense maybe? Me personally, I like laying in bed, even if it's just to drift in and out in anticipation of getting up stupid early.

i'd try to sleep a few hours, even if it's just 1-3:30

with my luck, i would fall asleep around 3 and then turn my alarm off without realizing it at wake up at 10 like WAHT

ugh yeah i would def sleep!

i tried :(
it didn't work!

iphone question: if i lock my sim card will that keep me completely safe from paying international roaming charges, or should i take the sim card out of the phone altogether. i'm going to nz for a few days and i want to still use my iphone for reading etc or for internet where there is wireless access. tia experts.

just put it on "airplane mode"--you can still access wireless internet but no phone things will happen at all

your welcome,

an expert

an expert i <3

i also turned off settings/general/network/data roaming.

another expert i <3

thank you both!

<3 and good wishes for flying over oceans, dearestela.

say hi to nz for me, i miss it so ;_;

thank you and i will, ruby, i will blow ecco a kiss from you.

<3<3<3

what is the time difference right now between california and switzerland?

try this, i lvoe this site http://timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

quality link thanks

thanks harbl!!

nose pegs at the ready? is it like lol gotta hold ur nose when you vote? or something else?

Yeah, that. Like any choice is nasty tasting medicine, I think.

Why did I sign up for this bike to work challenge? Am I nuts?

(that wasn't so bad, actually)

i think you signed up for it because you are awesome.

do bees sting animals?

yeah but since bees only sting you if you bother them it's not as often as humans

do bees sting other bees?

can a self-loathing bee sting itself?

*wonders*

i received an "IMPORTANT NOTICE" about cobra benefits addressed to the "family of [tehresa] and spouse/dependents, if any"

q: am i dead?

no but i can email you my full name and ssn if it helps filling out the life insurance

*wonders*

maybe this "tehresa" thing is simply a chatterbot/algorithm that generates message board posts in perfect imitation of the real, dearly departed Tehresa. so,

a: yes, you're dead in the physical sense, but your inimitable posting style will outlive us all.

Experts, I can't keep my eyes open this afternoon. What should I do to wake myself up?

take a nap?

might have been a better plan than driving, I think!

help me experts - all my skin is itchy, all over. and i have a flat spotted rash in the itchiest places. how to make it stop????

calamine lotion?

I don't think I want to put that in my hair ;_;

lavender oil?

since it sounds like some kind of allergic reaction an antihistamine might help.

Benadryl seemed to knock it out, but also me. Groggy now. I've been wracking my brains trying to think what it might be. Maybe some food on a stick I had at the weekend (music festival). Maybe because I turned on the furnace for the first time? I hope I'm not allergic to lovely warm air.

stress? i have been known to break out in the most bizarre rashes due to stress (has happened in years, but happened a bunch of times when i was younger).

I think it might be because I changed dishwasher detergent!

that was a rash thing to do.

XD

<3

A more likely culprit = macadamia nuts! I've been eating a few every afternoon around 2 - today by 2:30 I had massive hives all over my neck and the itching had ramped up to 9 when it had been around 4. Damn!