Excelsior thread! Lots of laughs, rolling on the floor lauging, umm, maybe we should think of some short ways of saying that...

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yeah--i'm going to act like it didn't leak until it really leaks

-- this is cutty (holle...), December 20th, 2006.

Taking the piss, I see.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 20th, 2006.

― hoo got it for steen, vol. 2 (hoosteen), Wednesday, 20 December 2006 05:05 (seventeen years ago) link

You've just reminded me what a pathetic, banal title "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" is.

You're entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster or some sort of weird mirror. These are just examples. It could also be something much better. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door.

-- ledge (tomdotledge...), December 20th, 2006. (ledge) (later)

― Michael Annoyman (Michael Annoyman), Wednesday, 20 December 2006 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

haha I love that this isn't the first Futurama joek excelsiored

― has been plagued with problems since its erection in 1978 (nklshs), Wednesday, 20 December 2006 14:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, in that case it's disqualified for not acknowledging its sources.

― Michael Annoyman (Michael Annoyman), Wednesday, 20 December 2006 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

IT TURNS OUT IT'S MAN

― sede vacante (blueski), Wednesday, 20 December 2006 14:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Must be why I hate CDs - jewel cases are ugly symbols of uniform mass production, completely vestigial to their contents.
-- Nu-Edward III (ehonaue...), December 18th, 2006.

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Whereas hand-carved CDs by magic elves are laden with the uniqueness of their craft?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 18th, 2006.

― thebingo (thebingo), Wednesday, 20 December 2006 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Smith: A casino where I'm winning? That car musta killed me. I must be in heaven! [He plays again and wins again.] A casino where I always win? That's boring. I must really be ... in hell!

[A bearded man appears at his side.]

Man: No, Mr. Smith. You're not in heaven or hell. You're on an aeroplane.

[He pulls a curtain across. Smith looks out the window and sees a gremlin tearing up the wing.]

Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane! You've gotta believe me!

Man: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!

[He holds up a mirror and Smith sees his reflection.]

Smith: No! [He turns to the seat next to him.] Eva Braun! Help me!

[She takes of her facemask, revealing she is a human-fly. Smith screams.]

Bender: Saw it coming!

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 20 December 2006 15:52 (seventeen years ago) link

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 20 December 2006 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

the woman he's "strangling" looks like one of our senior editors. it's a small and not particularly amusing or coincidental world.

-- grimly fiendish (simonmai...) (webmail), Today 3:30 PM. (simon) (later) (admin) (userip)
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That was the first draft of the Sherman brothers' song for Disney.

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...) (webmail), Today 4:20 PM. (C J) (later) (admin) (userip)

― grimly fiendish (nb: i'm only excelsioring CJ's post: mine is but a poor setup) , Wednesday, 20 December 2006 18:49 (seventeen years ago) link

http://i10.tinypic.com/29gbbsm.jpg

― Hurting (A-Ron Hubbard), Thursday, 21 December 2006 15:26 (seventeen years ago) link

lol futuramas

― sede vacante (blueski), Thursday, 21 December 2006 15:28 (seventeen years ago) link

this is the bone stupidest thread in sandbox history
-- TOM. BOT. (tombo...), December 21st, 2006.

'sandbox history' is killing me.

― temporary enrique (temporary enrique), Thursday, 21 December 2006 16:23 (seventeen years ago) link

TOMBOT is on fire today

Is there a site or other resource that tells you which jobs aren't the moral equivalent of scooping old mens' ass blow off the floor with your bare hands
-- TOM. BOT. (tombo...), December 21st, 2006.

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Thursday, 21 December 2006 16:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh go and mangle a washerwoman in Finchley will you?
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), December 21st, 2006. (later)

― Matt Cibula (Formerly, the Haikunym), Thursday, 21 December 2006 17:00 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm torturing myself with more mogwaispeed stuff by a band called The Autumn Project. The first song is 14 minutes long. I'm guessing the "awesome" guitars come in at around 8:32.
-- scott seward (skotro...), Today 3:48 PM. (121212) (later)

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8:10!!! I was so close!
-- scott seward (skotro...), Today 3:50 PM. (121212) (later)

― grady (grady), Thursday, 21 December 2006 20:14 (seventeen years ago) link

OK, the trailer was underwhelming -- like watching a chintzy Terminator. The young guy (Spike Witwicky?) is cute though. Do you think Megatron will transform into a bull and rape him?
-- Alfred Soto (soto.alfre...), Today 8:00 PM. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn) (later)

No, I don't think that will happen.
-- Jesus Dan (djperr...), Today 8:01 PM. (dan perry) (later)

― max (maxreax), Thursday, 21 December 2006 20:16 (seventeen years ago) link

ken lay at least gave a lot of donations to art charities, as opposed to wanting the brooklyn museum's funding to be cut over a chris ofili painting.

man I wish enron was still in business now and he wasn't dead!! gee, art needs his help!!
-- TOM. BOT. (tombo...), December 21st, 2006.

i'm sure a lot of people still wish enron was in business, tom! they'd still have their pensions.
-- Tyrone Slothrop (hstenci...), December 21st, 2006.

ok that is a correct zing
-- TOM. BOT. (tombo...), December 21st, 2006.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 21 December 2006 20:32 (seventeen years ago) link

lol

― hoo got it for steen, vol. 2 (hoosteen), Thursday, 21 December 2006 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Shouldn't we have a 'Top Posts Of The Year' competition at some point (preferably once real-ILX is back and running)? Any suggestions you've already got in mind?

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Thursday, 21 December 2006 21:48 (seventeen years ago) link

^ this one

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Thursday, 21 December 2006 22:07 (seventeen years ago) link

aww

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Thursday, 21 December 2006 22:27 (seventeen years ago) link

13. Princess vs. the Volcano

-- jw (jo...), December 21st, 2006.

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:07 (seventeen years ago) link

I nominate nabisco's "We're having Applebees tonight, My Niggas!"

― grady (grady), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:13 (seventeen years ago) link

grady OTM

― Fat Lady Wrestler (Modal Fugue), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:14 (seventeen years ago) link

we should narrow it down to about 20 and the put it up to a vote

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:20 (seventeen years ago) link

lol at scott's prediction

― impermanent rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:23 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost - no, we shouldn't, unless you want to suck all the fun and spontaneity out of life.

― I Am Curious (George) (Slight Return) (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Rock, I thought that was exactly what teh internets were for.

― Michael White (Miguelito), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Hey about after we vote on the best posts we put out A BOOK collecting them???

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonster), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:34 (seventeen years ago) link

otm

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael, I thought it was all about P2P and P0rn.

― I Am Curious (George) (Slight Return) (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:36 (seventeen years ago) link

we'll explain the joke to you when you're older, son. xpost

ALSO, PICTURES OF CATS WITH FUNNEH TEXT.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonster), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Hey, I know about that thread they turned into a book. Just that this isn't a thread, it's a collection of the finest humour t'internet has to offer (well, some might say). Maybe not a book either, a pamphlet maybe, or perhaps a printed bog-roll?

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe we can engrave it on a bullet and fire it into your brain.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonster), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:48 (seventeen years ago) link

that doesn't seem a particularly nice idea

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:50 (seventeen years ago) link

My my, you have such a delicious ear for the interweb zing, you truly do...

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Hey, I know about that thread they turned into a book. Just that this isn't a thread, it's a collection of the finest humour t'internet has to offer (well, some might say).

i feel very, very sorry for anybody who thinks excelsior threads are a collection of "the finest humor t'internet has to offer."

― hm (modestmickey), Thursday, 21 December 2006 23:59 (seventeen years ago) link

take the high road all you want, doesn't change the fact that you got SONNED in a making excelsior threads unfunny beef. :DDD xpost.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonster), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

i mean, jesus, what type of person would think that? i guess somebody who thinks a misspelling of "lyricist" is so funny that he makes it his new internet handle, despite nobody else offering any indication that it was the least bit humorous.

― hm (modestmickey), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

ts: t'internet vs. tit-internet

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonster), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:01 (seventeen years ago) link

xposts: fair enough, Mom!

oh, and Mickey, not every internet handle has to be 'humourous'. If I think something has a pleasant ring to it, I'll adopt it. Meanwhile, you seem to have taken this as an opportunity to fire home another overlong, unfunny, misdirected zing. I despair. Perhaps my 'finest humour' claim was the teensiest bit sarcastic, Mickey? Certainly I could believe you missing that aspect.

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Take it outside boyos

― sede vacante (blueski), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Mickey can't.

― Fat Lady Wrestler (Modal Fugue), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:14 (seventeen years ago) link

the bog-roll thing isn't actually a bad idea.

― sede vacante (blueski), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:15 (seventeen years ago) link

But he can't go outside!

xxpost DAMN YOU NOODLE VAGUE

― I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (Scourage), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:15 (seventeen years ago) link

maybe a fart woke you up

-- this is cutty (holle...), December 20th, 2006 1:14 AM. (mcutt) (later)

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 22 December 2006 00:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Max I was just coming here to post that. Classic!

― kv_nol (kv_nol), Friday, 22 December 2006 10:28 (seventeen years ago) link

http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/3048/jimmymorphiuswd2.jpg

-- Brian Miller (brian.mille...), December 21st, 2006.

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Friday, 22 December 2006 14:24 (seventeen years ago) link

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/147/330082235_b505a585e0.jpg?v=0
-- thebingo (thebing...) (webmail), December 22nd, 2006 3:11 PM. (thebingo) (later) (link)

― obi strip (sanskrit), Friday, 22 December 2006 15:16 (seventeen years ago) link

YES

― has been plagued with problems since its erection in 1978 (nklshs), Friday, 22 December 2006 15:25 (seventeen years ago) link

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