domestic outrages chronicle

i don't think i want to watch that video

xp

t. flystelashiver

i was shivering about your trap, not the youtube.

oh it was made of a small jar and a square of saran wrap with a small hole in it, sealed with a rubber band. you put a piece of fruit in the jar and watch the flies go in. they can't find their way out. works like a charm!

harb n/l

you could patent it and call it The Jarbl

lol

I bait my Jarbls w/ cheap balsamic vinegar or a nice foamy yeast solution for max fly attraction. Li'l dudes are swarming all over my indoor gardening so gonna take some action on 'em.

there is nothing quite like painstakingly squeezing lemons and limes for 30 min to make lemonlimeade and then accidentally knocking the container over when you put the lid on, spilling 80% of your labors onto the countertop, which then has to be thoroughly cleaned. outrageous.

if you give someone a nice round potato chip they shouldn't carry it delicately over to their little bed and then take a nap on top of it until it's just ugly salty crumbs.

nope

u always know what's what.

i send u my sympathies tehersa re your unacceptable citrus fiasco.

i need help figuring out how to hax

can't

dunno what it means

domestically outraged about my stolen wireless connection being stolen from me! i guessed a password of another but it seems to be not connected to ISP and i can't figure out the router's ip address :(((((
i am bad for stealing internets but it's their fault they picked stupid passwords and/or gave the password to the girl who normally lives in this apartment

i don't how we all keep going, plain old fashioned courage i suppose.

i was trying to grind a ton of pepper over my dinner and the thingy fell off and a hundred billion peppercorns fell into my food and i had to pick them up. but i missed some and crunched into them while i was eating and got quite a fright.

f. overheard me calling a kitchen implement 'fucko'.

that made me snort unattractively into my coffee just as poor violet was passing my desk. i am a bit ashamed of myself.

i have a terribly unfeminine habit of calling things by long strings of expletives when they don't behave: SHITTYCUNTMOTHERFUCKINGSHIIIIIIIIT

i got some vegetable dumplings at the chinese store yesterday and one of the ingredients is "JEW'S EAR" can you believe that?

i just said to the cat, "hello dumpling!" and she was nonplussed

That's a cat for you

i bet she was secretly thrilled, the little bosthoon.

there is a green lint-covered button on the laundry room shelf which i graciously offered to sew back onto f.'s jacket when it fell off 2 years ago, i recall he thanked me profusely and i said it was no trouble, which turned out to be 100% true.

tsk

i'll do it tomorrer.

likely story

Bride's bouquet crashes plane in Italy

July 15, 2009 - 6:47AM

ROME - A romantic wedding in the Tuscan countryside ended with injuries after an attempt to launch the bride's bouquet from a plane brought down the tiny aircraft.
Italian police say two people were hurt in the crash of the ultralight plane after the bridal bouquet they launched got caught in the aircraft's rear rotor.
The flowers blocked the engine, bringing the plane down by a youth hostel.
Police in the nearby town of Piombino said on Tuesday the pilot was lightly injured in Saturday's crash, while the passenger who threw the bouquet had several broken bones.
The bride and groom were not aboard the plane.

i despise many brides.

so do i. i'm glad we agree about brides

why are they so excessive and wasteful

i think you would make a lovely princess for a day.

Brides are the most disgusting savages etc

mark my words: i will never be a lovely princess

lol

starting to warm up to harbl

???????

do i detect a hint of outraged puzzlement

yes

<3

landlord late on trash bill; bags from all units piling up outside my back door for 2 1/2 weeks now. need to borrow boss's truck at lunch to pick them up and throw them away at work (not risking ruining new car's upholstery with weeks-old garbage bags).

can't you call the city on him or something? there has to be some kind of law that prohibits it from being left there that long!

that is a bonafide untrumped up domestic outrage.

another brownie outrage: gluten-free brownie mix makes a strange concoction that sticks to your pan and results in palm punctures when trying to use a knife to lever it out. oopsie.

think i am just gonna give up on brownies.

the same thing happens when you get fat-conscious and try to get by with half as much vegetable oil as the recipe calls for.

er, minus the palm punctures, I mean. someone needs to buy you a tacky knife sharpener for your birthday imo, & you'll never have that problem again.

the batter seemed totally greasy! i thought it was gonna be a gross greasy glob that would slide right out of the pan.

the knife was plenty sharp... it's just that i accidentally jammed it point first into my palm in a badly coordinated attempt to loosen crap from the bottom of the pan.