The sort-of-new Scottish Football thread pt 2 and a half

If any user predicts the exact scoreline in all six Premier League fixtures in a given week, they will win two tickets, plus travel, transfers and accommodation to any single football club match, anywhere in the world, of their choosing (known as the 'Grand Prize'). The Grand Prize is a one-off win and is not repeated when it has been claimed.

Commiserations to aldo - two goals of a head-start and they still can't beat us :-/

Still, that makes Hibs better than Man Utd in my book, and also since Louis Saha can score against Chelsea, that makes us better than Chelsea. Is that not how it works?

Team	  Pd	 W	D	L	F	A	GD	Pts	
Aberdeen  6	 5	1	0	13	4	9	16	
Celtic	  6	 5	1	0	14	6	8	16	
Rangers	  6	 4	1	1	11	5	6	13	
Hibs	  6	 3	2	1	17	7	10	11	
D Utd	  6	 3	0	3	7	11	-4	9	
Falkirk	  6	 2	1	3	14	11	3	7	
Killie    6	 2	1	3	7	9	-2	7	
ICT	  6	 1	3	2	5	9	-4	6	
M'well	  6	 1	2	3	8	13	-5	5	
Dunf'	  6	 1	1	4	3	14	-11	4	
Hearts	  6	 0	3	3	3	7	-4	3	
St Mirren 6	 0	2	4	4	10	-6	2	

Buddies looking like relegation fodder now that Dundee Utd are starting to pick up points. Hearts in 11th! Sheepers leading the pack!

(Onimo, expect text messages on Sunday if I can't get a Setanta-friendly pub)

Do they mean him or his son?

Kenny Miller = TOTAL FUCKING DONKEY. Bye!! (plz)

* and about 500 other people

Don't forget his cousin Kevin and the state-of-the-art £100M stadium on a toxic Cambuslang swamp for Teh Best Fans In Teh World (TM).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/video_and_audio/help_guide/4304501.stm

rofl at Lennon picking on wee Aidenho at the end of yesterday's game. Strachan says it's because Lennon is "scared to lose" - I think it's because Lennon is "a dick"

I'm not convinced we need Pressley. I don't have any great issues with him, he's about as good/bad/liable-to-throw-a-game-away/likely-to-score as Caldwell or Balde, so in that case, I just don't think we need him. Darren O'Dea looks alright from what I've seen, and Kennedy can't be that far away now.

Hearts and Hartley saying nothing following his hearing. I think it's safe to assume he hasn't been sacked, though I wouldn't be surprised if they were taking bids in January.

Huns off to Israel again. Plz to get comedy protestor with his silly handcuffs again?

I thought Rangers were the Protesting club?
:-P

(except for the small boys that always do comedy dashes round the pitch when Celtic win the league, evading lumbering fat blokes in yellow jackets and leaving them spinning around looking foolish, because they're always funny)

On Off The Ball just now, they've just claimed that John Martin (comedy Airdrie goalie) may be making a comeback. Daily Record photographers must be rubbing their hands* in glee.

* clad in comedy oversized goalie gloves, obviously

xpost to Gerry before Ailsa ruined my comedic timing

I don't imagine too many St Mirren fans will be at the Inverness game on New Year's Day. There was a reason New Year's Day was traditionally a derby day - everyone was too fucked to get any further than the nearest football ground. Now the fixture "computer" throws up a fucking 3-4 hour journey.

Jiri Jarosik? Form? SRSLY?

(Shaun Maloney's current form is "being knacked", yet Thompson still can't even make the squad, let alone the bench, let alone the team)

scotstvo  	88
ailsa_xx 	86
ilx_onimo 	86
aldo_cowpat 	79
treefell 	78
cheasyweasel 	75
MCibula 	67
zeus88 		42

Excellent, a place to put this:

Jelavic not winning the predictor any time soon

Stupid phone as stupid as Jelavic. Try again.

m.stv.tv/sport/football/scottish-premier/rangers/278454-rangers-striker-jelavic-we-wont-be-caught-in-the-spl/

http://sport.stv.tv/football/scottish-premier/rangers/278454-rangers-striker-jelavic-we-wont-be-caught-in-the-spl/

favourite soccerball jifs

http://desmond.yfrog.com/Himg875/scaled.php?tn=0&server=875&filename=le4ud.jpg&xsize=640&ysize=640

(does that display?)

Thank you, I am not good with internetz. Was going to tidy it up but forgot I wasn't a mod over here.

And lol.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b018cg10/Your_Call_with_Jim_Traynor_28_12_2011/

45:00 to 46 and a bit - Gers fan breaks down in tears. I suppose talking to Chick Young does that to you.

Thomas Rogne's league stats for Celtic: Played 25, Won 19, Drawn 5, Lost 1
Thomas Rogne's cup stats for Celtic: Played 6, Won 5, Lost 1

The only league game he lost was against Rangers when he was subbed off injured at 0-0 in the first half. The only cup game he lost was against Rangers when he was subbed off injured at 1-1 in the second half and Rangers won in extra time.

He has never been booked in 31 games, his only disciplinary blemish is a red card for a last man tackle in a 9-0 win over Aberdeen.

Thomas Rogne is 21 years old.

From twitter (I haven't checked for accuracy but it looks about right)

Paul Le Guen: P26 W15 D5 L6
Ally McCoist: P26 W14 D6 L6

Le Guen was unbeaten in Europe but lost more domestic matches. Ally's been spreading his defeats across all competitions.

I was thinking of you lot yesterday but I didn't know about this thread. Congrats.

I like Rogne a lot. Watched the second half last night when I got in - he was tidy and efficient. average age of the Celtic team last night was just over 22 - Samaras and Brown at 26 pushing it up a bit.

Still have my reservations about Lennon - we should never have been so far behind such a poor Rangers team, and it'll take a lot to shift the memories of that pishy game against Hibs and that appalling first half against Kilmarnock, not to mention the European qualifying crap, but that won't take anything away from the last seven weeks or so. Still enjoying it.

Decades of things balancing out over a season so dealwithit.gif suddenly forgotten as Rangers possibly maybe incorrectly have a goal not given - the SPL is now volunteering to FIFA to be guinea pigs for goal-line camera technology.

How about some fucking knee-high studs-up tackle spotting technology? Or some deliberate and repeated handball technology? Or maybe some flagging offside correctly technology?

Below from the minutes of a meeting between the Association of Celtic Supporters and Strathclyde Police.

o_O

On the subject of relations between large elements of Celtic support and the police CC accepted that there had been a breakdown in trust following a series of anti-Celtic briefings given by the Communications Officer at Strathclyde Police. It was pointed out and accepted that the journalist and the tabloid concerned were known to have an anti-Celtic agenda. CC confirmed that future briefings from police would need a different approach and that Communications Officer would no longer be doing that function and that Celtic PR Dept. would be involved. CC accepted that these events had been damaging to police.

(CC = Campbell Corrigan, Assistant Chief Constable, Strathclyde Police)

Communications Officer at Strathclyde Police

http://i39.tinypic.com/11ty0bc.jpg

Formerly head of communications at the SFA and previously a communications dude at the Scottish Government. Matey with Alex Salmond through working on the Commonwealth bid.

P.S. dudes who minuted the Association/Police meeting - the Celtic Symphony doesn't have add ons. So is singing the actual lyrics OK now then?

Celtic occasionally play a version with "up the Celts" - I assume "up the RA" is being counted as alternative/add-on lyrics. On Wednesday they sang neither - preferring to use Georgios Samaras as a handy rhyming substitute.

Is this image more or less clear cut than the goal line incident?

http://i.imgur.com/HTPxC.png

referee Collum clearly unsighted by looking the right way

Aye, I know that, but the actual original version (video recorded at Celtic Park btw) is Ooh Ah Up The Ra. Yer man from the polis said no add-ons, the minutes don't show anyone challenging, so let's see how that stands up next time Celtic fans get done for singing it.

Also, Collum's eyes are in the back of his head, so how can he be expected to see stuff in front of him?

that's what I was getting at

Clarifying in case anyone who isn't us passes by :-)

Happy New Year, Scottish football peeps. Only An Excuse was totally pish, wasn't it?

Never saw it, but that'll save me t0rr3nting it.

couldn't hear most of it due to overexcited children, but what i did hear was pretty pish. happy new year!

Denis Law and Frank MacAvennie still getting an airing, ffs. No jokes.

Only an Excuse has been pish since the early 90s. I can only assume Jonathan Watson has some incriminating photos of the controller of BBC Scotland.

Aye, not been funny since it came off the radio?

Was ok when Tony Roper was still involved. Wasn't Alistair McGowan involved for a bit after that, so at least there was someone who could do impressions rather than having to start every sketch with 'hi, I'm Jim Spence' or similar exposition? They need to get that Paul Reid guy involved, also some people who can write jokes.

Anyway, that's the transfer window slammed open, so expect exciting 'Sandaza/Fat Gaz/Novo/Boydichenko to Rangers' type pish for the next month before it slams shut with no-one signing anyone because Scottish football is shit and we're all doomed.

Scottish football is shit and we're all doomed

Happy new year! I have digitally taped the hogmanay "comedy" but no watched it yet.

I am thinking about not drinking for the game this afternoon. My liver's beginning to struggle with the demand.

Talking of windows slamming open - Jelavic not selected for Rangers today.

Novo and Boyd back at Ibrox would surely be pure lolz.

Also Healy starts o_O - must have made a hero of himself with that assault on James Forest. Just needed to catch the manager's eye, and wee James's kneecap.

Kerr and I on the esspeeell thread on proper-ILX