Watercooler 0: Nothing Is A Problem For Me

Thanks friends :)

(Come on, that was a perfect place to point out that who am I to complain about FP's proclivities when I am clearly keeping underage boys in cages in that photo...)

Nice palm-tree earring he's got there

Yes, that was the fashion in 1987. (Which is a shame, considering that photos was taken in about 1997.)

Awww, it's just so cute to see floppy teenaged Ben. Because he still had that huge lopsided grin, but the rest of him hadn't quite grown into it yet. :-)

Just think, Benjamin probably spoke to you about pedals thinking "at last its not a teenage girl who doesn't lust after me and just wants to talk geek stuff about pedals".

Then one day he finds ILX Watercooler on google...

Unless you're like this on the TSM boards too of course.

I'm much, MUCH worse. :-P

There's a whole thread dedicated to nothing but me and Brandon's number one nutter going "pedals! ASS!!! pedals!!! ASS!!! ORGAN!!! ass!!! PEDALS!!!!!"

Thing is... from personal experience... I wouldn't mind someone lusting after me like that if it was for the *right* reasons. I mean, everyone likes to feel attractive?

Once upon a time, when I was hott and skinny and attractive and my band used to tour, I used to get approached by groupie boys. And if the groupie boy was all "uuuhhh... breasts...." I'd get turned off. But if a groupie boy was all "Omigod, I love your pedals..." and then went "Aw, you're so cute!" as well, I'd be much more likely to respond. Or, like, sign his chest or whatever. (This is actually a true story, a boy did ask me to sign his chest after talking to me gooily about pedals for half an hour.)

It wasn't a teenage Benjamin was it?

Wouldn't that be totally awesome if it actually was the case!

Nah, it was some dude from Brighton. Can't remember his name. He was in a band, too... would be hilarious if he'd turned out to grow up to be famous.

(This has actually happened with a different former groupie. Heh.)

Would've been even better if it had been her signing Benjamins arse that she lusts after.

...I'm trying to think if there could have been an overlap. But I think Benjamin was being teenaged in Dallas when I was making Kraut Hop in NYC. By the time he moved to NYC, I was back in the UK. Sigh.

Maybe he was in the UK on a school trip..

There *was* that adorable red-headed 17 year old groupie in NYC, but his name wasn't Benjamin, it was J@r3d...

Rebecchi?

Eh?

Sorry, I'm lost in a reverie here.

Maybe this is why being in a band is no fun any more. I don't get groupies any more. I can't remember the last time a cute red-headed boy asked me to sign his chest.

Pfff, I have never once had the merest suggestion of a groupie. All I ever got was ppl asking me things like "where did you get your mellotron samples from" and suchlike ;_;

Hahahaha. Thats why Kate hasn't been in a prog band.

*gags*

I haven't just played in prog bands, Kerr.

Well, it helps with pedal groupies... I mean, they have such leading names.

17 Year Old Groupie (let's call him Benjamin): What kind of distortion pedal are you using? It sounds so cool...
Kate: Oh, would you like to come backstage and play with my Big Muff?
Benjamin: Ooh, sure. Would you care to adjust the knob of my Meatball?
Kate: Just be careful of the Electric Mistress...
Benjamin: Ooh, err, missus, etc.

The pedal is called a big muff pi, don't forget.

La la la la la la laaaa...

Shit, I should set up some new users before I leave.

Right, off I go. To make a fool of myself on the television. Thank god it's all being recorded, and it's not live. Heh.

Ah-ha! This is where you've all got to! Your diabolical plan to rid yourselves of me has failed!

So, still nothing?

I spent last night with a camera in my AREA. I've always wondered why they film the guitarist's picking hand, which does almost nothing and not the fretting hand.

Ha ha ha, an ACTUAL Freemason has just friended me on MySpace. Excellent!

Heh, I haven't actually allowed anybody to be my friend on myspace.

"Grr, go away! Don't wanna listen to yr crummy band!"

(That's via myspace links, so present company excepted naturally. I only got it to stop all those other MarkGrout's from nabbing it!)

What does it do?

http://img216.imageshack.us/my.php?image=img0039xb5.jpg

I have no clue. I think might be a TARDIS control. I'm utterly and completely in love. I wanna marry that pedal.

me doesn't rhyme with 0

Yes, but if you divide by zero, you get infinity - and that rhymes with me.

Kerr, what the heck is this Joanna Newsom thing you've sent me? A bit twee, but odd enough to intrigue.

ROFL I just tried to register so I wouldn't have to type my details for every post and it led to a fifteen minute comedy of errors, in which I seem to have 'taken' my own name from myself. I miss real-ilx.

I like the way you try to imply that sort of thing didn't happen on ILX Classic.

yeah I have avoided registering - too much like acceptance :)

So kate, tell us more about the tv thing!

Kate , You haven't heard of Joanna Newsome before?

My Warmer Milks lp came today. Woohoo!

I've heard the name, but just assumed it was more of that wibbling neofolk crap like Devandra Beardface or whatever.

OK, it's nice, but I can't listen to more than about 10 minutes at a time without feeling like I've eaten a bit too much carrot cake and am about to get into sugarshock.

Weird, she looks a bit like my friend Frances.

If shes twee then Mitya and FP should love her!

Something about her is intriguing. But equally, I find something about her is irritating, almost in that "ooh, look I'm a Kate Bush style pixie fairy girlchild" way.

I don't know. That's maybe a horribly sexist thing to say. (I mean no one ever calls the Animal Collective twee for the same kind of routine.) But that's what I mean by "twee" I guess.

Well her voice does make Lisa Simpson sounds grown up.

Her voice is nice in very small doses, but really annoying otherwise.

Yeah, that's the thing. One song is nice, a whole album is just too cloying.

(What do you make of that crazy spaceship pedal, Pash?)

What is it, exactly (apart from an effect pedal of some sort, with a fancy mirror finish)?

It is Death By Audio, apparently.

(I don't think even Benjamin really knows what it does, exactly.)

Blargh, internet please stop being boring today. Bah. :-(

Closest match on DbA's site in terms of panel knobbage is this:

http://www.killerrockandroll.com/deathbyaudio/soundwavebreakdown.html

I must admit, I've got my fill of fuzz/distortion boxes (turbo rat/rising sun/zakk wylde pedal) Phasers, now, on the other hand...

No, it's a custom pedal that they build specially for Benjamin. no one knows what it is!

I've got two distortion pedals and that's pretty much all I need. I need to get into the envelope filters and the harmonic generators now.

The few times I fancy playing with encvelope filter, I usually just run the preamped guitar signal into the back of this little roland monosynth I have, which has an envelope follower built in. One of these days, I'll pick up one of these:

http://www.blacet.com/IOfp.html

For my modular synth, though most likely I'll run other stuff through it. I have a real love for a nice clean guitar sound, Usually I just like to add leslie simulator or phaser, sometimes a little bit of chorus. All the more radical effects I have usually wind up getting drum machines or monosynths put through them.