jokes received by magicflakes.org as spam

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WARNING: they are terrible

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:22 (nine years ago) link

What goes faster than a rabbit in a field? A rabbit in a blender.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:22 (nine years ago) link

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:22 (nine years ago) link

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He doesn’t believe in dogs.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:29 (nine years ago) link

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a spider? A HAREnet!

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:29 (nine years ago) link

Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? Ta da dump, ta da dump, ta da dump Dump DUMP!!!

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:30 (nine years ago) link

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:30 (nine years ago) link

Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:30 (nine years ago) link

What do you call a dumb balloon? An air head.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:30 (nine years ago) link

Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:31 (nine years ago) link

Why did the man put wheels on his rocking chair? He wanted to rock and roll.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:31 (nine years ago) link

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:31 (nine years ago) link

What do you call a day that follows two days of rain? Monday.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:31 (nine years ago) link

What kind of tree has hands? A palm tree.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:31 (nine years ago) link

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? “Dam.”

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:31 (nine years ago) link

Did you hear about the bandit that held up a Chinese restaurant? Half an hour later he was broke.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:32 (nine years ago) link

What did the robot have to do before she wore any earrings? She had to get her gears pierced.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:32 (nine years ago) link

What did the sailor say when he saw a boat loaded with ewes? Sheep ahoy!

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:32 (nine years ago) link

Where did King Tut go to ease his back pain? The Cairo-practor!

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:32 (nine years ago) link

How can you recognize a burned-put [sic] hippie? He used to take acid, now he takes antacid.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:33 (nine years ago) link

What do you call a crazy baker? A dough nut.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:33 (nine years ago) link

Where does a one-armed man shop? At a second hand store.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:33 (nine years ago) link

What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:33 (nine years ago) link

What do fish play on the piano? Scales.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:33 (nine years ago) link

Why are Bankers good bike riders?? They are good at keeping their balance!!

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:34 (nine years ago) link

What does a caterpillar do on New Year’s Day? Turns over a new leaf!

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:34 (nine years ago) link

Why is someone who never gambles just as bad as a regular gambler? Because he is no better!

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:35 (nine years ago) link

What happens to illegally parked frogs? They get toad away.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:35 (nine years ago) link

what did the constipated mathematician do? he worked things out with a pencil.

estela, Thursday, 5 November 2009 04:00 (nine years ago) link

that wasn't received by magicflakes.org as spam, it was in a book my little brother had called 101 jokes for kids.
so was this: what's blue and lies in the gutter covered in crumbs? a dead girl guide.
my brother told us those at dinner and our father said, i want you to bring me the book and a marker pen so i can turn it into 99 jokes for kids.

estela, Thursday, 5 November 2009 04:27 (nine years ago) link

his daughter's father

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 04:31 (nine years ago) link

<3

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 04:31 (nine years ago) link

that was a day of many lols.

estela, Thursday, 5 November 2009 05:38 (nine years ago) link

What is the difference between a photocopier and the whooping cough? One makes facsimiles and the other makes sick families.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 15:56 (nine years ago) link

What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help, after he bites your leg off.

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 15:56 (nine years ago) link

(this is not a day of many lols.)

lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 15:57 (nine years ago) link

keep em coming.

estela, Thursday, 5 November 2009 23:29 (nine years ago) link

no don't!

jergins, Friday, 6 November 2009 00:15 (nine years ago) link

haha, i knew you would hate this thread!

lxy, Friday, 6 November 2009 16:19 (nine years ago) link

Where does a bird go when it loses its tail? The retail store.

lxy, Friday, 6 November 2009 16:20 (nine years ago) link

Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

lxy, Friday, 6 November 2009 16:20 (nine years ago) link

What do you call a crazy blackbird? A raven lunatic!

lxy, Saturday, 7 November 2009 18:08 (nine years ago) link

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.

lxy, Saturday, 7 November 2009 21:47 (nine years ago) link

Which of these things don’t belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck? The tuna. The other two are crustaceans.

lxy, Tuesday, 10 November 2009 17:00 (nine years ago) link

What do you use to redecorate a baby’s bathroom? Infantile.

lxy, Tuesday, 10 November 2009 17:00 (nine years ago) link

What do you call a bee born in May? A Maybe.

lxy, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 16:19 (nine years ago) link

What goes black and white, black and white, black and white, boom? A nun falling down the stairs.

lxy, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 16:21 (nine years ago) link

Did you hear about the new restaurant that opened in India? It’s a New Delhicatessen.

lxy, Thursday, 12 November 2009 17:11 (nine years ago) link

Where do otters come from? Otter space.

lxy, Thursday, 12 November 2009 17:11 (nine years ago) link

What is the difference between a prizefighter and a man with a cold? One knows his blows, and the other blows his nose!

lxy, Sunday, 15 November 2009 19:11 (nine years ago) link

What do you call a veterinarian with laryngitis? A hoarse doctor.

lxy, Sunday, 15 November 2009 19:11 (nine years ago) link

What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.

lxy, Monday, 16 November 2009 21:00 (nine years ago) link

three months pass...

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.

lxy, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 05:39 (nine years ago) link

When should you use milk to irrigate your fields? When you are growing creamed corn.

lxy, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 05:40 (nine years ago) link

What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo? An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.

lxy, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 05:41 (nine years ago) link

What does the sun drink out of? Sunglasses.

lxy, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 05:41 (nine years ago) link

What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping.

lxy, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 05:41 (nine years ago) link

:D

estela, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 10:29 (nine years ago) link

heh

spite n ease (harbl), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 12:15 (nine years ago) link

two years pass...

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

lxy, Monday, 6 August 2012 17:31 (seven years ago) link

or a good dummy

mookieproof, Tuesday, 7 August 2012 00:02 (seven years ago) link

filth.

estela, Tuesday, 7 August 2012 02:17 (seven years ago) link

one no-trump

toughie

mookieproof, Wednesday, 8 August 2012 03:01 (seven years ago) link


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