ILOLX

from lost thread:

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyesdrE1Ro1qz6kbro1_500.jpg

The guy I worked for was worried about hiring me bcz of my gender. "Does anyone ever say 'ice cream GIRL'? No, they always say 'ice cream man.'" But something about my willingness to be paid under the table at less than minimum wage allowed me to break the glass ceiling that has stopped so many women from selling ice cream bars throughout history.

― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Monday, March 1, 2010 8:19 PM

i like ned t:

I was momentarily pissed off with Dan for locking the thread but then I posted a couple of cute animals on the cute thread and I felt fine.

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, February 17, 2010 11:35 AM

I really don't think Jacob and Smokey represent good vs. evil. They are more like Randolph and Mortimer Duke: two powerful dudes with differing theories about humanity.

― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Saturday, March 20, 2010 11:38 AM

re: hutaree militia

the thing about these groups is that you never see, like, a super-flash Bond-villain operation set up with massively hi-tech gadgets; it's always some losers with a porto-potty bolted onto a pickup truck that they call "mobile HQ"

― STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Tuesday, March 30, 2010 3:16 PM

jeez, did anybody see Prince hit that double 5 minutes ago? Almost fell down following thru on the hack, then windmills down the basepaths for 180 feet like a huge investment banker at a kegger. Funniest shit I've seen in awhile.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, April 7, 2010 1:32 AM

I want to know what coffee shop exists at the corner of Melrose and Sweetzer in the alt. timeline, because in this timeline it's Ashton Kutcher's reaturant "Dolce" and the Penny that I fell in love with wouldn't want to meet for coffee there

― Shannon Whirry and the Bad Brains, Wednesday, April 7, 2010 3:10 PM

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0vpxqMFcc1qz7tb2o1_r1_500.jpg

haah

http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee69/sbdnate/lolcano-1.gif

fuckin daft punk clean up this volcano asap or else

http://media.sacbee.com/static/weblogs/photos/images/2010/apr10/volcano_sm/volcano04.jpg

― ice cr?m, Saturday, April 17, 2010 6:44 PM

dudes are never going to finish if they just use that piece of paper

― caek, Saturday, April 17, 2010 7:00 PM

foolish robots

― ice cr?m, Saturday, April 17, 2010 7:03 PM

from mong thread:

looooooool @ abbott talking about cutting the dole for people under 30

― casio cat (electricsound), Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:03 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah wtf, he really must not wanna be elected.

― Eyjafjallalalalalatrolololol (Trayce), Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:18 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

at least they're showing their true colours - they loathe the poor and the young

still, that's no big shock is it??

― Marissas now living will never her (haitch), Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:20 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Sorry guys, but fuck the young.

― kissogram powers (Abbott), Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:21 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the fact that a ventriloquist comic can make a living in america is proof that not enough kids are getting the shit kicked out of them in high school

― münchausen by proxymuzak (m bison), Wednesday, May 26, 2010 7:11 AM (1 hour ago)

wow, waddle's let himself go

― caek, Sunday, June 27, 2010 5:28 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

onomatipaeia in action

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Sunday, June 27, 2010 5:29 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wow, i just read my last post and it looks like translation of czech put through early version of babelfish

― dell (del), Tuesday, July 27, 2010 12:16 PM (1 hour ago)

maybe not funny so much as sweet/cute/touching in that way old baseball stuff often is:

I think that's where I first discovered that the Seventh-Inning Stretch isn't some technical baseball term but a reference to fans standing up for a minute and maybe buying a pretzel or something.

― a harshbuzz to my manpain (onimo), Wednesday, August 18, 2010 6:02 AM

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, due to an earlier incident, all Sixth Avenue line trains are running over the Eighth Avenue line. Please be patient.
Confused tourist lady: What does that even mean? I don't understand.
Suit: It means that if you want to take any of the trains on the orange line you transfer at the next station like normal, but instead of going downstairs you just wait on that platform for the train you want.
Middle-aged woman across aisle: They're not orange line trains. It's the B, the D, the F and the V. Real New Yorkers don't call it the orange line.
Suit: Hey, lady, fuck you. There, is that New York enough for ya?

― I've got ten bucks. SURPRISE ME. (Laurel), Thursday, November 11, 2010 3:54 PM

'NASA finds Tenacious D life form'

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Thursday, December 2, 2010 11:28 AM (10 minutes ago)

kill it before it makes a film

― champagne for my t-friends (Edward III), Thursday, December 2, 2010 11:29 AM (9 minutes ago)

# katy perry - what do you think? [Started by deeznuts in June 2008, last updated 32 minutes ago by balls on I Love Music] 33 new answers

lol u have a queen

― am0n, Tuesday, December 7, 2010 12:37 PM

if i recall correctly she had a bush like a 40 year old serbian.

― thebingoisback, Sunday, October 4, 2009 11:17 PM

tonight in my speech class someone said said orgasm instead of organism and recovered better than i did. i had to think about dead pets in order to stop laughing.

...

― The Great Jumanji, (La Lechera), Thursday, October 7, 2010 8:24 PM

LOL amon, dr. morbius:

funniest thing about the WSJ blog entry -- that people actually do "online banking." What a buncha darned fools.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:17 AM

...

does that boggle ur stone-age mind or

― vladimir pootawn (am0n), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:25 AM

other things "darned fools" do "online": shopping, taxes, reading, chatting!?!?!

― vladimir pootawn (am0n), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:29 AM

...

never been ripped off during online chatting and reading funnily enough

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:45 AM

I don't think many people are ever ripped off due to online banking, fwiw.

The most you're going to be able to do is view balances, transfer between existing accounts, and view bank account numbers. You know, the same numbers anyone can read off of a check you write.

But checks might be too "damned foolish" too, I don't know.

― mh, Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:49 AM

thx for the new display name

― old man yells at cloud computing (am0n), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 9:02 AM

...

I prefer barter

also, fuck you am0n

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 9:15 AM

not.. really

there was cider though, and some thing called 'sangrita' which i did not indulge in

― boner graphs (electricsound), Tuesday, December 28, 2010

dunno if i could drink something with 'grit' in the name - like how i can't eat a turducken due to 'turd' being in the name

well nowhere near as bad, but u feel me

― lights out gorilla rodeo (haitch), Tuesday, December 28, 2010

shiitake mushrooms?
cucumber?

― boner graphs (electricsound), Tuesday, December 28, 2010

won't be wearing a cummerbund anytime soon either

― lights out gorilla rodeo (haitch), Tuesday, December 28, 2010

It was to a different MP, but once I printed out the wallogina, put an arrow next to one of them, wrote 'YOU' next to the arrow and posted it to the one who had been a cunt.

― I don't wanna be with nobody but boobs. Oh no. (edwardo), Tuesday, February 15, 2011

when i woke this morning my first thought was OH GREAT ANOTHER GRIM DAY OF CATASTROPHICALLY SPIRALLING SELF-REFLECTION, and then my next was FRA-EE-DAY, FRA-EE-DAY, and then my next was :).

― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, March 15, 2011 1:41 PM

and when they rolled back the stone, they found iatee sonning betas in an internet beef

― strongo hulkington's ghost dad, Tuesday, June 14, 2011 10:54 AM (3 days ago)

u s steel on taking a trip with her mom. what's not to <3 about this:

...but mostly we like the same stuff (gambling, cheese, scenic drives).

― Deremiah Was a Bullfrog (u s steel), Thursday, June 9, 2011 11:33 PM

stet lol (and a little bit of a dig at ilx's most inveterate admin log watcher):

i cld just get the adming log to also post to this thread, if it'd save you the trouble?

― stet, Tuesday, June 28, 2011 12:23 PM (19 minutes ago)

when you say program java do you mean make coffee because i can do that

― lxy, Thursday, June 30, 2011 7:17 PM

when we were heading to lunch at Paris, we passed a group of frat bros just as they won $38K playing roulette; I cheered for them although I knew at least one of them was likely to die that night

― DJP, Thursday, July 7, 2011 6:21 PM

omg Z S is funny:

there was like a 10-15 second pre-earthquake before the biggest part hit, and from the sounds of the flushing and minor shaking on the floors above and below me, i thought there was a major plumbing problem. my thoughts for the first half of the earthquake were basically "is the water going to shoot up the toilet and into my butt"

― Z S, Tuesday, August 23, 2011 10:49 AM

MTV VMA's really brings out the best. LOLLLing that Bieber really said "I'd like to thank not only God, but also Jesus"

― Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Monday, August 29, 2011 10:05 AM

holy ghost is all what the fuck am i, invisible?

― zvookster, Monday, August 29, 2011 10:06 AM

<3 caek

at work we each get a subsidised ticket for two litres + 1 chicken. the subsidy comes from the coffee machine. haha i don't drink coffee and i'm going to sell the chicken.

― caek, Monday, September 19, 2011 1:34 PM

Max: I am okay, I am typing this from a phone a man lended to me, since gmail failed I was afraid to use my computer. I spent the night at an Internet cafe here, watching the news reports roll in. Everyone here cannot believe this has happened. I have to go now, a family need to use this phone to check an old hotmail account they have. Please everyone take care and only use mail if you absolutely must. God bless us all.

― When a German communicates, you listen (LocalGarda), Saturday, September 24, 2011 8:13 AM

went out with a guy who works as a sound engineer a few weeks ago and went on about how he can't date people that don't work in creative fields, because they are not "self-actualized"...uhm, ok. i'm just trying to find someone to make out with, bud.

― bene_gesserit, Friday, November 4, 2011 4:16 PM

- copied loads of papers for a meeting with a credit bank tomorrow (yes, i'm the 99%, sadly, the past haunts me in the shape of a huge study debt)
- totally forged my work contract and house renting contract because i couldn't find the original copies anymore; had the perfect culprit too, my dad, who got way into it lol, pulling out letter paper from 8 years ago to print it on, creasing up the paper to make it look old, driving staples through it, smashing perforating holes through it "because it's been in your binder for years DO YOU SEE), suggesting to use a "low ink pen" for the signatures. great son-dad moment, been years...
- wine, bliss, sleep now

― Y Kant Lou Reed (Le Bateau Ivre),

btw apropos of nothing, I spent the weekend with my dad in Chicago who spent about 14 hours raving about how amazing MN apples have become

― sex-poodle Al Gore (DJP), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

honeycrisps are good its true

not as good as fujis tho

― ASPIE Rocky (dayo), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

and i can eat them guilt free! hooray for america!

xpost nah we got a whole new apple going on right now that i cant remember the name of, gala something maybe?

― cannonball aderall (jjjusten), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

sweet tango?

― cannonball aderall (jjjusten), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I think it's SweeTango(TM), although based on how my dad was going on about them they should be called CrackOrgasm.

― sex-poodle Al Gore (DJP), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

this is pretty funny

all these ppl in here?

ja that

Dreamed last night that I smoked celery in a dorm room with 2 ILXors (one of whom I've met irl) and Miley Cyrus. I was like, "wtf, celery?" but they explained that it's just as strong as weed if you do it right. You put it in a glass Coke bottle with some fire inside and suck the smoke out through a straw.

Not feeling very rested this morning.

― WmC, Saturday, May 21, 2011

diet smoke

― ♪♫ hey there lamp post, feelin' whiney ♪♫ (darraghmac), Saturday, May 21, 201

i have a lot of affection for lapsed vegetarians because i feel like the period afterwards is always so grateful & enthusiastic. my friend started eating fish & it's like a whole freed prisoner thing, just constantly renewed wonder at how bright life can be. vegetarianism has its own stockholm syndrome thing, like you are condemned to spending time with mushrooms & slow-cooked onions but you learn to love those things as a result of your captivity.

― schlump, Tuesday, February 5, 2013 9:26 AM (22 minutes ago

when everyone was posting on the sandbox last year i hoped schlump would stick around after big ilx came back but then i never saw him here again.

i hoped that too! i said as much when i posted the above, but i deleted it before clicking submit. why i don't know.

it sounds like the sin of pride to my catholic-raised ears.

and that sounds like the sin of speaking too directly to my lutheran-raised ears.

your dainty lutheran-raised ears might not have liked the catholic volume and tone of my laugh when i read that.

sin of pride kicking in again: it pleases me to know i made you laugh.

why was lxy reading sandbox football threads imo