Thanks, I'll be here all week

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Thread for failed jokes

jergins, Tuesday, 21 October 2008 19:23 (sixteen years ago) link

my job's boring so i pass a lot of my time making fun of my co-workers. they're actor types that appreciate improv as much as they can: i spit quick while they watch. the one i make fun of the most, she's into musical theatre and jesus and not her husband, those are the three pillars even though one's falling down. she goes to 'home church' on sundays where this muppet looking guy i call The Youth Pastor runs things.

her: it's M4tt's birthday tonight, i'm going over to his party after work.
me: the youth pastor? oh, cool.
her: yeah, i'm excited, it's going to be fun.
me: what do you say to a youth pastor on his birthday? what, "you're not getting older, you're getting closer to god"?

the purest silence.

jergins, Tuesday, 21 October 2008 20:05 (sixteen years ago) link

"i spit quick while they watch"

max max max max, Tuesday, 21 October 2008 20:49 (sixteen years ago) link

i am starting to feel bad for lxy, starting this thread. she's going to be posting on here all the time

jergins, Tuesday, 21 October 2008 22:08 (sixteen years ago) link

careful

lxy, Tuesday, 21 October 2008 23:26 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

call ya LEZ 4 sure/short

― jergins, Wednesday, November 5, 2008 10:50 AM

lxy, Wednesday, 5 November 2008 18:55 (sixteen years ago) link

*tips cap*

jergins, Wednesday, 5 November 2008 19:04 (sixteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

"spurt reynolds"

jergins, Saturday, 29 November 2008 01:27 (fifteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

lxy: "the best jokes are the ones no one gets."
me: "the best and the worst, yeah."

jergins, Monday, 15 December 2008 05:46 (fifteen years ago) link

me: "with a name like Amundsen, you should be able to get here in this weather."
mrs. amundsen: "..."

jergins, Saturday, 20 December 2008 20:26 (fifteen years ago) link

i laft

lxy, Saturday, 20 December 2008 20:47 (fifteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

boss: "my friend claude, he's this serial seducer. he can't help it. he knocked up this girl one time, talked her into getting an abortion. i call him every father's day and give him shit."

jergins, Thursday, 15 January 2009 18:43 (fifteen years ago) link

six months pass...

me: "Gahh, the soda bottle, I can't open it. Man it's stuck tight."
megan: "sorry, that was me."
me: "kegels paying off?"

jergins, Friday, 14 August 2009 23:47 (fifteen years ago) link


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