Dear ILE - a plea

I may do accidentally my saying something that I mean as amusing or just plain crass, that comes out wrong.

I mean, ffs, if you don't like a person, ignore his/her posts. I know that can be hard, but at least try.

people will never just ignore that which they don't like completely. it would be like not speaking out against something you disagree about or take offence to.

It'd be nice for a while.

That said, I nearly posted some nasty comments as well and then realized that I was just doing what I am so opposed to: nasty bullying.

http://www.ics.forth.gr/~gaga/family/graphics-adoptions/churchmousegraphics.com/hugs%20and%20flowers.gif
Hey, GROUPHUGGELZ. heh

the internets is a part of real life where instead of spending time with people you a) like b) can earn money with you spend time with a self-selected variety of people, some of whom you like, some of whom are complete fuckwads you want banned.

crosspost

Yeah, but there's still a difference between reacting to something they say, and just reacting to them regardless of what they do. There people I don't like in real life, but I don't go on shouting "HEY, ASSHOLE!" every time I catch a glance of them.

i guess it is. but the aggro i have with some people on ILX can sometimes be just as annoying and can have some implications on my social life (living in london as i do).

PWEASE

maybe so. but then so is saying: "hey, stop zinging/bullying/being nasty to each other."

my point is simple - it's far more useful to say, a la mark seven billion posts ago: "look, people, how about we just ignore posts that irritate us" than it is to say: "right dudes, no more irritating posts." i mean, irritation is in the, er, brain of the ILX0r. one man's troll is another man's nabisco. or something.

fill in the blanks: it's an i----n-t m-ss--e boa-d. lighte- up, pe-ple.

Wow, for the first time ever, I'm proud of my ancestors!

Mmnot as I remember it... CJ sounds about right, but not entirely sure.

Dearest admins, who decides what it is zinging, what is bullying, and what is just making a point to someone who then takes it personally?

I know this! It's the admins!

teh_kit, if you can't be meta on a meta-board, when can you be meta?

(haha, that looks like a theaudience album track title)

luv ailsa_xx

I'm quite happy with stet pointing out that admins discuss things off board. However in that same post he also says:

1) The only workable rules (ie that won't result in endless legal-type bickering and "but I didn't break the rule!" whining) will be really amorphous and pretty self-explanatory: Don't a be dick. Flickr's one's good too: "Don't be creepy. You know, that guy. Don't be him."

and the need for a new (albeit possibly temporary) rule i.e. take shit to the meta board or we'll take it there for you runs contrary to the idea that self-policing is the only workable rule.

I'm basically OK with this meta-board in principle, but not entirely clear what the principle is.

Since this is a meta-board, I'm going to do a wee bit of self-explanation. I have had a bit of a run-in recently with a poster who is taking it WAY more personally than it was meant. It's certainly not personal to any one poster, more a disagreement with a principle of people getting to police their own bits of the board (and evidence suggests I'm not the only one). I've tried to illustrate the non-personal-ness of my argument by politely explaining to that person that I do not actually have a problem with them personally. Part of me is a bit worried that others don't see it that way - I guess it depends what bits of ILX people notice.

I'm giving up on that one issue now anyway. It's too small a part of my overall ILX experience to let it bother me that much. I'm all for live and let live. I contribute non-snarkily to lots of the board - TV, films, music, football, general day-to-day shit. I'm trying really hard not to be an overall nuisance. I hope I'm succeeding. I really like this board and a lot of the people therein. I just want it to work.

Peace out.

So instead of your beef getting pushed to one side on the WC thread, and then popping its head up in Noise and various other places, could instead be hashed out here. It lets things that need to come to head, er, come to one, without trashing threads. It lets people call someone out for something cuntish, and lets other people give their opinion without it being smeared across 17 threads.

Basically, I guess you could see it as somewhere for self-policing to happen without getting in the way.

I said, I like it in principle. I hate that shitloads of people have piled in on a small issue I had with the way people were being treated by Kate and the way she felt she had control over a part of ILX and made it some big AILSA V KATE FITE OH NOES incident when that was never my intention and then it kept spiralling and spinning off into every thread and got brought up here when I was at work and I went off on one because I'm sick fed up of people misunderstanding what I'm on about and it's not even just me that's doing it anyway, there's Kate-directed snark all over the board and at least I was trying to vocalise exactly what my beef was, which was with ONE FUCKING THREAD. I'm backing well the fuck away from the whole fiasco now. People are making this something it's not, and I hate it and it's actually really fucking bothering me. I made some crappy jokes about Kate killfilling me for a cheap self-deprecating roffle and now I've gone back to posting pictures of old towns and talking about washing machines.

Perhaps it got lost upthread when Stevem completely misunderstood everything I said and suggested I go and start a rival watercooler thread and I said "Because I shouldn't need to. There's one there already. And I'm not going to make it a taking sides ailsa vs kate, which I'm pretty sure she would if people deserted "her" thread for "mine". I don't need it or care that much, I just don't like being told what I can and can't post on ILE by someone who's not a moderator."

Can I just make it REALLY REALLY CLEAR I'm not going to react to Kate being Kate by being Kate too.

However, I am getting terrible meta about it. Thank God for this board!

I think the point I am trying to make is that I've been inadvertently caught up the whole meta-thing that led to this, so if I want to ask questions about it, I'm trying to point out that I've no real self-interest, I'm just asking general questions on behalf of an enquiring mind, not someone who intends being a flaming nuisance to anyone in particular on the board.

(I'm off to have some real life now. It'll be good for me)

Longest sentence on ILX?

how can a person feel good again with ptsd anxity depression anger hate guilt and shame i was sexually abused as a child and as an addddult had my first child at age twelve my second at age sixteen andmy third at age twentyseven i have nothing no money i was taken from my parents by the state but i ran away becaused i was being influenced by my abuser and the state put me in his custody he shot two police men infront of me his familt blames me for it all for trying to get away from him i was tying to run for my life and made him mad and they say i made him do it i lost my son to his family of fear to contact any of them he hates me my oldest who is twentyone we just met eachother and slowly trying to build a relationship witheach other that is a dream come true but i feel cheated violated robbed of my childhood my teenhood motherhood my education i have a thired grade education i have had to fight to servive i have nothing no money my body never went back to shape my skin is all stretch out i have stretch marks everyware my stomach mymy arms and legs i have never felt sexy or happy or secure all of my life how do i acheave this and become someone i will like to be and to feel comfortable with who i am i need to start a new chapter in my life but i need help i thought i would conect real well with Robin could you see whatyou can do to help a desprate person i really need someone to talk to who i ca trut honestly who wont judge me who really wants to help me and wont abandoned me .

-- Michelle ST.Pierre (frnchpierr...), September 25th, 2006.

I don't even want to talk about football and telly and whatever on the watercooler. What started this whole recent shitfest off was Kerr mentioning Paris Hilton displaying racist tendencies and asking what teh watercooler massive thought. I said what I thought in passing and referred to another populist incident of "celebrity racism". then I (not Kerr) got shit for dragging non-Kate-ordained stuff into the Watercooler. At that time, it was kind of difficult to go "ooh some high profile people be racist" without mentioning BB. I even apologised for having to mention it! Oh read the fucking thread yourselves. I didn't even break Kate's precious fucking "rules", yet I still got scapegoated. THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHITE ANY MORE IT IS RIDICULOUS.

(fuck, I actually typed that with gritted teeth)

Also, Gerry, yes, you are hilarious. You're also walking to the football on Tuesday now. Ho ho, meta or what.

(joke - seriously, I never went in for the self-justifying on real-ILX/sandbox because it would have been too meta. Now I can. Hurrah! Except I feel like an over-reacting tit, whatever that feels like, ha, please stop me typing I AM DRUNK)

-- onimo (ilx.onim...), February 15th, 2007 1:10 PM. (nu_onimo)

fixed XD

I think this of the rest of the chat threads as well TBH but the Watercooler in particular seems to be of even more limited appeal.

Then stop being the shitfucker!

A: ILX