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1. flirted w/ vaguely Asian customer for 20-30 minutes before finding out she is a SHERIFF w/ LexPD

― nklshs (nklshs), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

argh crap I am shit at life, she was a SERGEANT, not SHERIFF, whatevs I like her and her police butt

― nklshs (nklshs), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

2. ilx [down] is apparently not the only message board with OJ discussions today

― nklshs (nklshs), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 21:13 (eighteen years ago) link

why is OJ big deal again?

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonster), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 21:48 (eighteen years ago) link

because one glass has a whole day's supply of vitamin C!!!!

― nklshs (nklshs), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

3. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/fergalicious.gif

― step hen faps (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 22:15 (eighteen years ago) link

4. guys who come up to you on the street with a story about where they're from, where they're going, etc etc and then FINALLY get to the "I only need $16" part

The only one of these guys I ever gave any money to was the one that said "could you spare some change? I want to buy some whiskey."

― nklshs (nklshs), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 18:45 (seventeen years ago) link

I had a guy try to con me a couple weeks ago.

him: How do I get to Smithfield?
me: That's like 15 miles away, you're not gonna make it on foot, dude.
him: Aw, shit. I don't want to bother you, but here's my ID, just so's you know I'm not a bum. Anyway, I need to get a cab to Smithfield and I need $16.
me (unspoken): How does showing me your ID prove that you're not a crackhead? And how do you know how much the cab will cost when you didn't know the distance to your destination, like, 5 minutes ago?
me: Sorry, dude, got no cash, I'm on credit tonight.

― elmo albatross, Tuesday, 28 November 2006 18:56 (seventeen years ago) link

anyway, if these con artists knew thing one about their trade, they would appeal to people's GREED rather than their SYMPATHY.

― elmo albatross, Tuesday, 28 November 2006 18:58 (seventeen years ago) link

there is a dude who hangs out in downtown chicago dressed in a full-on security guard get-up, badge and all, and stops passer-bys and explains that he's a security guard in "that building over there" and he just got off his shift and realized he lost his wallet and he just needs six dollars to take the commuter train home (nice choice cause the el is only $2.)

i fell for it once and then like six months later walked out of work one cold night and saw him doing the same thing. i walked up to him and he said "excuse me..." and i interrupted him and said "did you lose your wallett?" he said "...uh, yes." and then i went off on some "you fucking owe me six dollars motherfucker" shit. i think i was pretty angry about some other shit at the time though.

saw him at least twice since then. its a good scam.

― grady (grady), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

dudes outside the museum yesterday were collecting "pledges for their basketball team" despite being built more like football players. one of them asked me if i was "messed up on drugs" and then was all "OH WORD SON I AM HI ON WEED TOO!! HIGH FIVE!!"

― ian (orion), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 19:56 (seventeen years ago) link

You said, "dear me, no, that would be illegal", of course.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

i said "I AM A LITTLE HI" AND HE SAID "HI ON WHAT" ANDI SAID "JUST WEED" THEN HE SAID "OH WORD SON..."

― ian (orion), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:02 (seventeen years ago) link

also, THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN SCHOOL IN THE MIDDLE OF THEAFTERNOON WHEN I WENT TO LIBRARY.

― ian (orion), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:02 (seventeen years ago) link

I love that you told a random person on the street that you were kitey. I guess a kid who's clearly skipping skoo isn't much of a risk!

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:07 (seventeen years ago) link

It's not proper to lie when asked a direct question like that!

― ian (orion), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Ian I love you.

― nklshs"OH WORD SON I AM HI ON WEED TOO!! HIGH FIVE!!" (nklshs), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:12 (seventeen years ago) link

What would a cop do... impound Ian's brane?

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I guess I don't know! I don't even smoke pot.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:20 (seventeen years ago) link

stern lecture

― Grandpa Noise (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:37 (seventeen years ago) link

I do.

― blastocsyt (blastocyst), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:39 (seventeen years ago) link

JW OTM. Not a crime to be high!

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:40 (seventeen years ago) link

5. I DREAMED that I had a lucid dream
http://tn3-2.deviantart.com/fs8/300W/i/2005/353/0/6/Mind_Blown_Out_To_Free_Flow_by_stonedrockgod.jpg

― blastocsyt (blastocyst), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:40 (seventeen years ago) link

i normally don't give money to panhandlers but seeing as i was broke too and only had 75 cents i gave it to the guy who was outside d&d liquors saturday night. as i was turning onto division he yelled "thanks mick jagger! looking gooooooooood mick jagger."

i have no idea what the hell that meant but it made my night.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

It means you are the lead singer of the popular rock band The Rolling Stones.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 28 November 2006 20:59 (seventeen years ago) link

panhandlers =/= small-game grifters

― elmo albatross, Tuesday, 28 November 2006 21:03 (seventeen years ago) link

this morning I was updating my blog's bookmarks and the Classical Connection link redirected to this:

I love music so much that it has become a drug. I need higher and higher doses of it to feel the effect (20 new albums a day, at this point). I worry about losing it or going without it. I’m addicted. So today, I’m cutting off my music consumption. I will not remove music from my life because it is a beautiful thing and I use it to worship God and experience his beauty. But I will not be its fucking slave any more, I will not let it drag me into sinful and illegal acts, and I will not let it consume time that should be spent with the Holy Spirit.

(otoh he left behind a big rapidshare cache here)

― dmr, Wednesday, 29 November 2006 18:03 (seventeen years ago) link

raised eyebrow emoticon mixed with lolz:

in the over-priced convenience store at the hotel where i work they carry three types of condoms and one type of surf wax. the condoms are all trojan three packs and the surf wax is "SEX WAX" brand. they are all hanging right next to eachother behind the counter.

― grady (grady), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 22:56 (seventeen years ago) link

otto, you're in chicago? maybe it's the same homeless dude on the L that told me he thought i was bob dylan's son and even started singing dylan songs to me.

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 23:21 (seventeen years ago) link

it'd be better if he started singing wallflowers songs to you.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 23:26 (seventeen years ago) link

well, yeah, but who wants to admit they know wallflower's songs?

― jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 30 November 2006 00:12 (seventeen years ago) link

kitey!

― jergins (jergins), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:06 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.hrsd.jp/kitty/kitey.jpg

― forksclovetofu (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:18 (seventeen years ago) link

ho-rap usually. trina, lil kim, foxy b, rasheeda. the baddest bitches
-- lexpretend (lexusjee...), November 30th, 2006.

― Dom Passantino (DomPassantino), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:04 (seventeen years ago) link

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