unimpeachable facts about techno

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1) If Villalobos was named Mike Jones and looked like a tool, no one would care about him. His music is not that great. (I am aware that Richard D James alone disproves this, but I still say I'm at least correct in principle....)

2) The Lindstrom album on Eskimo is good. But in the way Ikea is good.

― vahid (vahid), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:31 (seventeen years ago) link

my friend JS emailed me these fun facts - feel free to add your own

― vahid (vahid), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:32 (seventeen years ago) link

lindstrom is techno??

― Schal Atznavour (fxzxffx), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:37 (seventeen years ago) link

The new Mike Jones single is pretty good

― deej (deej), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:49 (seventeen years ago) link

but mike jones is called mike jones and looks like a tool, and people care about him

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:49 (seventeen years ago) link

i would not go as far as deej. "ok-ish" maybe.

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

richard d. james doesn't disprove it because he's more commonly known as aphex twin, which is a respectable moniker.

― bohren un der club of gear (bohren un der club of gear), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

3) 808 State stole "Pacific" from Rhythm is Rhythm's "It Is What It Is".

― henry s (henry s), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Most techno artists look like tools and have crappy names. It hasn't hurt Moby or Luke Vibert or Tom Jenkinson much as far as I can tell.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

nobody cares about mike jones!!

― vahid (vahid), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:55 (seventeen years ago) link

jenkinson and vibert are AWESOME names compared to "jones"

in high school, when me and my friends wanted to call someone a loser, we called them a "jones".

― vahid (vahid), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:57 (seventeen years ago) link

jenkinson + vibert = total b-movie mad professor names

― vahid (vahid), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

lindstrom's solo output is certainly techno.

that and you are wrong about villalobos. he's pretty good. not as mindfucking as people make him out to be, but pretty fucking good.

― the table is the table (trees), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

there are worse names though, like pratt. joneses at least have the whole "jonesing for x" thing, plus following in lineage of grace jones.

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 19:59 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't get vahid threads like this. They turn into debates over the nature of his unneccessarily confusing method of shit-talking.

― deej (deej), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

i mean not that i don't agree that villalobos is overrated or whatever, just saying

― deej (deej), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Ricardo Villalobos is a pretty normal name in Latin America.

― jim (jim), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:02 (seventeen years ago) link

i honestly didn't come up with this stuff! my friend emailed it to me! i thought it was funny, but i also find unnecessary confusion rather funny.

― vahid (vahid), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:04 (seventeen years ago) link

if nobody else has any shit-talking of their own to contribute, we can list minimal artists who look like tools and have boring names

1) matt john
2) joel mull
3) ...

can't think of any others!!!

― vahid (vahid), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

I like in the new Mike Jones single that he has a sing-along Saturday-morning cartoon chorus, but it's not a retread of a Broadway showtune or something off Wee Sing Silly Songs.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:09 (seventeen years ago) link

i was gonna say baby ford until i remembered his real name's adshead

― violent j (sandboxhulkington), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Martin Lindstrom - Franchise Development Manager at Inter IKEA Systems

o_O

― violent j (sandboxhulkington), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Ricardo Villalobos is a pretty normal name in Latin America.
Only it's not his real name. While we're having mindless fun:
http://www.myspace.com/retardo_villalobos

― blunt (blunt), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:14 (seventeen years ago) link

3. minimal house is good...but not that awful clicky boring stuff

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:21 (seventeen years ago) link

"jenkinson and vibert are AWESOME names compared to "jones""

Perhaps but they still look like tools.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:11 (seventeen years ago) link

laptop DJ Lindstrom does the snake.

― 99.9% unimpeachable fact (blunt), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:13 (seventeen years ago) link

808 State stole "Pacific" from Rhythm is Rhythm's "It Is What It Is".

umm, never noticed a significnt similarity there.

― resumo impetus (blueski), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:27 (seventeen years ago) link

it's in the chord changes...

― henry s (henry s), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:8yevpGAL9V0J:ilx.wh3rd.net/thread.php%3Fmsgid%3D5498580+coldplay+sum+41+pieces+scientist&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=5&gl=us&client=firefox-a

― jw (ex machina), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:51 (seventeen years ago) link

I like in the new Mike Jones single that he has a sing-along Saturday-morning cartoon chorus, but it's not a retread of a Broadway showtune or something off Wee Sing Silly Songs.

Bingo. And it has "I'm a spend dollar in my million just to shut you boys down!"

― The Reverend (Rodney J. Greene), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:22 (seventeen years ago) link

anyone else catch the Lindstrom set at Mezzanine last week? thoughts?

― Cameron Octigan (cameron octigan), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:01 (seventeen years ago) link

i can't say anything nice about it

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:14 (seventeen years ago) link

but i was more annoyed at the fact that i couldnt' hear ANYTHING that nite. what is/was goign on with the sound there?

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:17 (seventeen years ago) link

He was fun in Chicago, and there are some funny pictures of the show on pfork.

― deej (deej), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:21 (seventeen years ago) link

stewart walker has kind of the perfect techno name. i saw him at some weird place like brownie's in new york one time and he was great.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:37 (seventeen years ago) link

You thought that the dude with Ricardo in his infamous monged picture was Roman Flugel? Wrong. It's ILM's beloved Louis Jagger just about to drop "Stripper vicar"!

http://www.digicode.it/blog/up2006/maggio/villalobos_at_fabric_big.jpg

― jim (jim), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:40 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate the Mezzanine.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:47 (seventeen years ago) link

lindstrom was wack. nice neck motions, but the same stuff that make his music so great on a nice hifi made it almost unbearably boring in person. there was that track he played with the girls going "can't stop, won't stop" that was nice.

carl craig fucking blew the doors off everything.

susan were you over by the coat check or what??

― vahid (vahid), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:50 (seventeen years ago) link

for a place called mezzanine, there's not a lotta sound up there.

― blunt (blunt), Thursday, 15 February 2007 00:59 (seventeen years ago) link

vahid

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Thursday, 15 February 2007 01:07 (seventeen years ago) link

i'll position myself au centre au centre next time, i suppose. i was upstairs actually, but in the middle atleast. it really was terrible up there

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Thursday, 15 February 2007 01:12 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah, i work at mezzanine, and the sound could be better. however, we're looking into some options and they all cost around $20K. that means that nothing is changing for the time being. trust me, i wish the sound were better, too.

i still have to say that we've been bringing lots of shows that other venues have been passing up in the past, and the events have been selling out in advance or selling out at the door. so, i know the venue's not perfect, but i think it's better than most other venues in town. the only place with good sound is the End Up, and of course various low capacity art venues. also, i think sound at the End Up is really only good in the middle of the dancefloor.

what do you think would make Mezzanine better?

― Cameron Octigan (cameron octigan), Thursday, 15 February 2007 02:07 (seventeen years ago) link

i was standing right in front of the right-hand speaker (facing the stage) for gamall and most of lindstrom. but it filled up with lots of lame people who were just gawking and not dancing so i got up and moved to the left-hand speaker for most of carl craig. then around the halfway point when he was playing "angola" i got really sick of the sweaty nasty unshirted elderly ravers around me and moved back to in front of the VJ booth where i stayed till the end.

i actually thought the sound was fine but i tend to spend most club nights about 2 feet in front of the speakers with my earplugs in. not much stereo effect (which sucked because it sounded like what he was doing w/ "slave to the rhythm" must have been amazing) and not much freaky high-end but other than that it's cool.

― vahid (vahid), Thursday, 15 February 2007 02:48 (seventeen years ago) link

also what was that fucked up movie they were showing during lindstrom w/ all the jesus imagery and phallic mutant pistols and the armless dwarf dancing on the corpse??

― vahid (vahid), Thursday, 15 February 2007 02:50 (seventeen years ago) link

oh duh, i just googled "armless dwarf" and i guess it's jodorowsky's "holy mountain". funny because i've never seen "holy mountain", but during lindstrom i kept thinking "this must be that 'holy mountain' movie i always hear about ... naw can't be looks too new, must be some gavin russom / matthew barney side project ..."

― vahid (vahid), Thursday, 15 February 2007 02:52 (seventeen years ago) link

lol

― friday on the porch (lfam), Thursday, 15 February 2007 03:32 (seventeen years ago) link

I was standing near stage, didn't even know they were showing a movie -- but if it was holy mountain, have to say that recent screening at the castro was great!

― Dominique (dleone), Thursday, 15 February 2007 04:07 (seventeen years ago) link

that is real funny vahid. you should watch holy mountain. santa sangre is also good.

also, the stuff w/ 'slave to the rhythm' happened in new york too, and it was fucking SICK and INTENSE. i think that was the only point when i screamed for longer that a 'wooo'.

― the table is the table (trees), Thursday, 15 February 2007 04:18 (seventeen years ago) link

yay holy mountain! i went to a screening of el topo at the nyff and everyone was dressed in suits. the first thing jodorowsky said in the post-screen interview was that he was baffled why there wasn't a cloud of marijuana smoke billowing throughout the room.

lindstrom was nice in ny, but he just tempts every song for so long that you just wanna grab him and tell him to get on with it. i've had to face the fact that lindstrom's my doppelganger - that's bizarre enough in itself to see the faces he makes when tweakin' his ableton.

― JoeMeekly (deyoungn), Thursday, 15 February 2007 04:34 (seventeen years ago) link

There was some thread on propah-ILX where vahid was saying the remix of Beck's "Cell Phone's Dead" is better than most other more celebrated villalobos stuff, yeah?

I think he is correct. I hope villalobos goes pop like that more often in the future.

― Tim F (Tim F), Thursday, 15 February 2007 06:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 56 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

it's like on ebay when people take photos of obviously beat-to-fuck jeans from crazily foreshortened angles with a cameraphone ... WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 February 2007 01:26 (seventeen years ago) link

see also: dressing in karl lagerfeld drag on your album covers

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 February 2007 01:27 (seventeen years ago) link

They're called "myspace angles" round my way.

― jim (jim), Saturday, 17 February 2007 01:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Berlin is a fine city. And Chile is beautiful.

And you live in California, v. I'd certainly rather live in Santiago or Berlin before Cali-fucking-fornia.

― the table is the table (trees), Saturday, 17 February 2007 02:59 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost
yeah, i'm not describing it well enough. nutty breakdowns are one thing but this was fucking obnoxious. can anyone further elaborate on that? he just kept doing it over and over and over again. my decision to leave was based on hearing him transition this way for the 3rd or 4th time.

and i don't know what's going on with the mezzanine soundsystem, but i think that Switch's problems had more to do with this laptop (and arriving late for the gig - he went on at 12.45 for a 12.00 set) than with the system. Gamall's problem was not a laptop issue, it was a power issue (blown fuse).

― mikebee (bizzle), Saturday, 17 February 2007 04:02 (seventeen years ago) link

this thread has been completely derailed. what was it about again?

― mikebee (bizzle), Saturday, 17 February 2007 04:03 (seventeen years ago) link

5. actually, martin schopf is the best that chile has to offer

― friday on the porch (lfam), Saturday, 17 February 2007 04:42 (seventeen years ago) link

wow people think that chile, berlin and barcelona suck??? these are some beautiful places. perhaps almost as good as norwalk, san diego and ranco cucamonga!

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Saturday, 17 February 2007 08:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Though if you're schtick is anti-hipsterism i could see that foreign cities that young people gravitate to then i suppose you would probably prefer San Jose

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Saturday, 17 February 2007 08:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Might help if i typed that right. What i mean is if you don't like foreign cities that hipsters might want to live in, then San Jose is obviously going to be more your bag

And there's nothing wrong with that! To each their own!

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Saturday, 17 February 2007 08:53 (seventeen years ago) link

YOU ARE NOT VERY SMART, HUH?!?

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 February 2007 08:56 (seventeen years ago) link

YOU SEEM TO LACK "NEGATIVE CAPABILITY"

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 February 2007 08:59 (seventeen years ago) link

or perhaps you are responding to my ironical statements with meta-irony by interpreting them as earnest?

also, you seem to know little about california, i would gladly take norwalk, san jose or rancho cucamonga over paris, rome, london ... yes, even stockholm, i would take norwalk over stockholm.

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 February 2007 09:07 (seventeen years ago) link

also i will wager that paris hilton was molded more by the experience of high school in rural california than she was by anything that happened to her in manhattan, which is no doubt why you find her so compelling, lex.

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 February 2007 09:10 (seventeen years ago) link

you mock the provinces, yet you covet our wide-eyed naivete.

HOW DELICIOUS

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 February 2007 09:10 (seventeen years ago) link

My apologies. You are right, i don't know a huge amount about California. I had thought that San Jose was a large city, I did not know it was in the provinces. Maybe i shouldn't have compared cities I know with ones i don't. That is correct

I would like to know more about it tough all the same. Tell me more about how you found Stockholm, London and Santiago though Vahid. I would find it interesting to hear your take on these cities and what you liked about them and what you didn't. It will be interesting to hear from someone that compare these wonderful places properly:)

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Saturday, 17 February 2007 09:27 (seventeen years ago) link

they don't reall drink in stockholm but there's clearly some magical pixiedust in the water

― resumo impetus (blueski), Saturday, 17 February 2007 10:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Lex, I wouldn't take things Vahid says on this thread seriously (a slap on the wrist to anyone who quotes this and strikesthru the this thread!).

― jim (jim), Saturday, 17 February 2007 11:22 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm not exactly pro-'hipster' myself. if you were to ask me where in the US i'd rather be, california would be up there.

― the table is the table (trees), Saturday, 17 February 2007 16:27 (seventeen years ago) link

NORTH AMERICAN SCUH-UM

― W i l l (common_person), Saturday, 17 February 2007 16:37 (seventeen years ago) link

HOW DELICIOUS

― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Saturday, 17 February 2007 20:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Vahid must have spent a lot of time in those cities if he is still writing down his thoughts on them

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Sunday, 18 February 2007 14:35 (seventeen years ago) link

W i l l = Einar
Michael F Gill = Björk

― da mystery of sandboxin' (fandango), Sunday, 18 February 2007 17:20 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't actually really care about cities, and i think the city-centric impulse in music criticism ("this is the sound of ...") pretty lame n general, and even worse in dance music. that's all i was getting at.

― moonship journey to baja (vahid), Sunday, 18 February 2007 20:57 (seventeen years ago) link

agree in theory, but it's hard to not use geographical terms at times.

― the table is the table (trees), Monday, 19 February 2007 04:19 (seventeen years ago) link

so carl craig ended up being good? i left 30 mins into his set. mezzanine is terrible.

― josh (josh.), Monday, 19 February 2007 04:29 (seventeen years ago) link

The secret of this thread must not remain secret.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 19 February 2007 09:58 (seventeen years ago) link

You can tell Lex has been spending time with Charlton Lido

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Monday, 19 February 2007 11:13 (seventeen years ago) link

if you'd seen him this weekend you'd know that it was more like the reverse!

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Monday, 19 February 2007 11:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha do tell

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Monday, 19 February 2007 11:56 (seventeen years ago) link

SOMEONE has been biting my style! we ended up in MATCHING OUTFITS!

― lexpretend (lexpretend), Monday, 19 February 2007 12:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Of all the

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Monday, 19 February 2007 12:44 (seventeen years ago) link

four years pass...

http://www.urb.com/2011/11/16/waterpark-rave-kills-dolphin/

An eight-year-old dolphin named Shadow mysteriously died after being exposed to two days of techno music at a waterpark in Switzerland. The park was the venue for a weekend-long dance event, which exposed the highly sensitive marine mammals to nearly 48 hours of repetitive beats. Several days later, Shadow became agitated and died. While there is no way to prove a direct correlation between the two events, animal activists had warned park management that the noise from the event could cause undo stress on the dolphins who call the park home.

“We have reasonable evidence to suggest that the extreme noise levels from the two day techno party severely affected the immune system of the dolphins,” said Jürgen Ortmüller from the Whale and Dolphin Protection Society. “Dolphins are very sensitive creatures. We warned against a techno party taking place in this location for these very reasons.”

Park officials deny any wrong-doing. Shadow was the seventh dolphin in three years to die at the park.

― furnace mane, Tuesday, 29 November 2011 20:45 (twelve years ago) link

TECHNO KILLS DOLPHINS

― furnace mane, Tuesday, 29 November 2011 20:45 (twelve years ago) link

The Christopher Rau album from last year is really good!

― edb, Tuesday, 29 November 2011 20:47 (twelve years ago) link

And you live in California, v. I'd certainly rather live in Santiago or Berlin before Cali-fucking-fornia.

― the table is the table (trees), Saturday, February 17, 2007 2:59 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Permalink

― furnace mane, Tuesday, 29 November 2011 20:52 (twelve years ago) link

haha

― HOOS aka driver of steen, Tuesday, 29 November 2011 21:04 (twelve years ago) link

I wonder it the DJ played this techno song?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTgCDbG5S3s

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 11:57 (twelve years ago) link

Park officials deny any wrong-doing. Shadow was the seventh dolphin in three years to die at the park.

So nothing to do with the massively shortened life expectancy of dolphins in captivity then?

― Ou est la showaddywaddy (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 12:47 (twelve years ago) link

misread this as

minimal activists had warned park management

― NotEnough, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 13:57 (twelve years ago) link

or perhaps you are responding to my ironical statements with meta-irony by interpreting them as earnest?
also, you seem to know little about california, i would gladly take norwalk, san jose or rancho cucamonga over paris, rome, london ... yes, even stockholm, i would take norwalk over stockholm.

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, February 17, 2007 4:07 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Permalink

smh

― iatee, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 14:54 (twelve years ago) link

THIS IS SUPER GOOD!

http://www.discogs.com/Gene-Hunt-Ron-Hardy-Throwback-87/release/2428469

― edb, Thursday, 1 December 2011 12:02 (twelve years ago) link

Not a "Life on Mars" / "Ashes to Ashes" TV prog tie in then.

― Ou est la showaddywaddy (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Thursday, 1 December 2011 12:06 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jTpaJMhq4zM

― remy bean in exile, Thursday, 1 December 2011 12:09 (twelve years ago) link

Fatstep is not techno!

― Tuomas, Thursday, 1 December 2011 12:18 (twelve years ago) link

Dubstep, I mean.

― Tuomas, Thursday, 1 December 2011 12:19 (twelve years ago) link

it's all shit. i only learned about it yesterday.

http://gawker.com/5863804/the-old-persons-guide-to-skrillex

― remy bean in exile, Thursday, 1 December 2011 12:23 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I miss the bobbins thread :(

― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 01:04 (twelve years ago) link

Worst ever techno name: Norman Nodge

― Chewshabadoo, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 12:59 (twelve years ago) link

Cornish Techno Facts: the kick on an 808 ain't got nothing on the BOOM! when a really big wave hits the back of a deep zawn.

― Polemicist Who Slashed All, Freely (Fotherington Thomas), Tuesday, 27 December 2011 13:24 (twelve years ago) link

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