http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e204/Karentsmith/seacrest.jpgI was at a party last night and the subject matter of bleaching buttholes came up (fortunately it was not a dinner party or something else would have also been coming up - namely my lunch). Being a bit behind the butthole cosmetics curve I had to have this explained to me. As one hipster put it, a butthole bleaching "is like getting your teeth whitened, except instead of your teeth you're getting the part where the sun don't shine whitened." Another chick chimed in that "The procedure is nicknamed the 'Seacrest'" after the American Idol host who apparently has his anus whitened every six to eight weeks.
Hearing this, several questions popped into my mind. First of all 'How often does one have their anus seen by someone else?' Seems to me if its more than twice a week, you might want to consider a career change. Secondly, who first came up with this idea? The patient or the doctor or the patient's significant other? And how was that conversation started, "Gee honey, your asshole sure is quite black..." And the third question, 'If you bent over, spread your buttcheeks and raised your hiney toward the skies, wouldn't in fact the sun shine there?'
But the most important question is, of course, "What is Rockism's take on this subject matter?" After more thought than the matter deserves I came to the conclusion that as a Rockist I think anyone who needs their asshole whitened to make them a happier person is a frickin' mental case. My advice to those people is, if you wanna feel better about yourself, then take that money you were gonna spend on a 'Seacrest' and use it to feed a starving village in Africa or donate it to handicapped kids or something. It may not whiten and brighten your asshole, but it will certainly brighten your heart.
©2006 Rockism 101. All Rights Reserved
6:09 - 32 Comments - 30 Kudos - Add Comment
― Rick Gibralter (grady), Friday, 16 February 2007 08:59 (nineteen years ago)
well, a vote is a vote (however idiotic the rationale may be) -- at least he isn't slobbering over mitt romney.
― Eisbär (Eisbär), Friday, 16 February 2007 23:46 (nineteen years ago)
four years pass...
President Barack Obama is loved by a lot of actors and musicians, but one band won’t be performing at any of his campaign rallies: Korn.
The metal band, which rose to fame in the 1990s when its “Follow the Leader” album, spoke with Billboard.com to promote their new album, “The Path of Totality,” and explained the meaning behind some of their songs, including “Illuminati.”
Frontman Jonathan Davis says: “I feel like Obama’s an Illuminati puppet. He’s basically dragged this country down into the worst it’s ever been. Like I say about the White House, ‘You’ve built this house of shame.’ Everybody looked up at the White House and America and now I think it’s like a house of shame. I miss the old days when people were proud to be American.”
It’s a rare expression of politics by Davis, who told MTV in 2006 that he wrote the song “Politics” because “It’s just about how I don’t like to talk about politics…Korn has never been a real political band.”
― larvae o'dooley, Thursday, 8 December 2011 22:29 (fourteen years ago)