should I or should I not fly to a faraway place to murder someone?

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say someone you were having a really intense relationship with went away to another continent to see his family on, say Thursday, 8th (arriving technically on Friday 9th). Say you called him soon after his flight got in just to make sure he wasn't dead. Say he said I'll call you tomorrow or day after, and you thought okay, whatever because this is his first time back home in years and he's gonna be busy and jetlagged and whatever. But say you wrote him an email Saturday night, and checked your email Sunday, hoping but certainly not expecting to hear from him. He hasn't written a single word, but, oh wait, his last myspace log-in is Feb 11. Better yet his last log-in to the matrimonial site he's on is Feb 10 (note he is not trying to get married as far as you know, but he likes the consequence-free attention and being able to talk to girls in his mother tongue). Even allowing for 8 hour difference, these things would have had to been done since he left. It's not that it ESPECIALLY bothers you that he's been on the mat. site. You don't, afterall, have an exclusive relationship. Of course it bothers you a little bit. It's that he hasn't even said, "hey baby, it's crazy being back lot to talk about miss you will call or write more soon" Is it reasonable for me to be completely livid and freaked out, or do I need to put it in perspective?

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:22 (nineteen years ago)

o.o

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonster), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:27 (nineteen years ago)

intense, but not exclusive

― esoj@w3rk (esoj@w3rk), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:29 (nineteen years ago)

fair enough i suppose.

perhaps this is dude's passive aggressive way of taking a breather from the intensity

― esoj@w3rk (esoj@w3rk), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:30 (nineteen years ago)

True story, a friend of mine was engaged this one time, and her husband-to-be flew to France to go take care of some family thing for a week. He came back WITH A WIFE.

Puts your "oh he didn't e-mail me" into perspective! Maybe he's getting MARRIED!

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:31 (nineteen years ago)

Ally, yr so helpful!

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:32 (nineteen years ago)

He ended up divorcing the French girl though.

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:32 (nineteen years ago)

That makes it all okay.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:34 (nineteen years ago)

My friend is now married and has two children, so chin up buckaroo, this too shall pass. I recommend going and picking up some random dude to enact revenge, instead of internet stalking him.

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:36 (nineteen years ago)

picking up some random dude is not going to make me feel better, but then so isn't internet stalking

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:38 (nineteen years ago)

And how.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:40 (nineteen years ago)

Seriously, in all honesty just try to forget about it. Easier said than done so on and so forth but go out, have a drink, try to avoid being online for a bit. He might have a very good reason why this happened!

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:40 (nineteen years ago)

reason: he secretly hates me and has been waiting to destroy me!

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:43 (nineteen years ago)

damn bars here close in 15 minutes besides

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:43 (nineteen years ago)

Well, if that is the case, you need to start picking up random dudes to screw with him.

xpost oh yeah it's sunday too, bars aren't open very late on sundays. Have a drink at your house, call a friend?

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:44 (nineteen years ago)

Better yet his last log-in to the matrimonial site he's on is Feb 10

Waht is this thing?! So you're with a guy who is on some "hi dere where is a womaon who aims marriage" website and has gone overseas and you aren't worried?

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:45 (nineteen years ago)

UH it maybe isn't worth getting freaked out about but then i am bad about returning emails sometimes (all the time)...

― a_p (a_p), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:45 (nineteen years ago)

if you fly here you can buy me a beer first

― m00kiepr00f (m00kiepr00f), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:45 (nineteen years ago)

Get drunk and make ill-advised posts to a message board?

Oh no, wait, that's what I'm about to do.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:45 (nineteen years ago)

i mean jeez, i'm just lookin for a girl who speaks my language, you know?

― a_p (a_p), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:45 (nineteen years ago)

oh, alright, i'll buy you a beer

― m00kiepr00f (m00kiepr00f), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:46 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, that's kind of what I meant by "very good reason" which is the same "very good reason" I have and that is "Oh yeah if I don't respond to/send e-mail immediately after thinking of it it will never be responded to and/or sent"

seriously have a drink in your house and forget about him (and also start picking up other dudes JUST IN CASE)

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:47 (nineteen years ago)

I was going out with a guy who lived in the UK and one day when he was freaking out about some shit, he sent me about 15 emails in the space of 20 minutes that all said "OMG why havent you returned my call", increasing in pitch til he was all "I'm totally going to the car to gas myself now, why arent you calling me back". When it was a work day, and I worked in a busy call centre, and wasnt allowed to make OS calls.

%-/

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:48 (nineteen years ago)

what is this 'you dont have an exclusive relationship' thing mean

― deej (deej), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:48 (nineteen years ago)

seriously sometimes even with people i like a lot, if i am tired and i just have time to get online for a second i will check my email and say "oh, DDDD____DDDD emailed i'll email her back when i'm not so tired and can write something a little more substantial"

(but i'm not on any matrimonial sites that i know of, so...)

― a_p (a_p), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:48 (nineteen years ago)

in general, I agree with everyone who says he might just be bad at returning emails, but this:

being able to talk to girls in his mother tongue

rings an internal alarm of mine and makes me think that the "coming back with a wife" possibility might be real. :( sorry. I hope I'm wrong.

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:49 (nineteen years ago)

Oh god Trayce, I've been left hanging by someone on multiple occasions because I didn't e-mail them during the course of the day and they figured that must mean I was mad at them and went out and got stone cold drunk instead and I was like I WAS IN CLASS ALL DAY. 8[

I don't actually know what a "matrimonial site" is

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:50 (nineteen years ago)

dudes we're being trolled, but that's okay cause i'm drunk

― m00kiepr00f (m00kiepr00f), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:51 (nineteen years ago)

Me either.

That guy I was dating srsly did say he was gonna gas himself too, wtf. where I meet these morans.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:52 (nineteen years ago)

Hey, me too! xp

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:52 (nineteen years ago)

OK wait I'm going to apologize for the totally true French marriage story because I COMPLETELY glossed over the "matrimonial site" part of the story, that was so...wow, sorry!!

xpost the thing is, dudes are morons.

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:53 (nineteen years ago)

dudes who threaten to kill themselves bc of something you did=RUN AWAY

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:54 (nineteen years ago)

trust me, he wasn't planning to fly there and get married...his thing on there is tantamount to exchanging flirty messages to girls on myspace

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:54 (nineteen years ago)

laurel are you drunk or left hanging?

(ps no fair because ally & trayce are cuet enough to drive morans mad)

― m00kiepr00f (m00kiepr00f), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:55 (nineteen years ago)

dudes who threaten to kill themselves bc of something you did=RUN AWAY

Hell yeah. Its happened to me THREE TIMES! I'm a nut magnet.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:55 (nineteen years ago)

This is what a matrimonial site is
ps. this is not the one

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

(other ppl too, i'm sure, no offense)

― m00kiepr00f (m00kiepr00f), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

See? Don't worry too much.

xpost mookie you charmer

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

This is what a matrimonial site is
ps. this is not the one

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

oops

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:57 (nineteen years ago)

I'm drunk, mooks. On a Sunday night, and it's basically my bedtime but DOSE THAT STOP ME FROM POSTING ILL-ADVISEDLY? NO!

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:57 (nineteen years ago)

A former friend of Tom's once threatened (drunkenly) to off himself because of me. I (obviously) wasn't even dating the guy! That was possibly the stupidest thing ever. Though it worked as a ploy to get sympathy I guess. :\

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

wear diapers if you do.

― Rick Gibralter (grady), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

otm

― a_p (a_p), Monday, 12 February 2007 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

xpost
being able to talk to girls in his mother tongue
that was my inference, by the way

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:00 (nineteen years ago)

well, it's an inference that matches up to a certain type I have known. if he makes you feel inadequate bc you don't speak his mother tongue, that pretty much sucks. but I'm probably being way overpresumptuous.

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:01 (nineteen years ago)

what is this 'you dont have an exclusive relationship' thing mean
means we fuck other people, but of course when you get closer to someone, that arrangement can get hairy xpost

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:02 (nineteen years ago)

PS: Thank goodness for this thread, I was SO BORED!

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:03 (nineteen years ago)

Laurel OTM

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:04 (nineteen years ago)

no, he's never made me feel inadequate about that. He came here because he married an American woman, and not for green card status. (they divorced because they didn't get along and she cheated on him) xpost

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:04 (nineteen years ago)

oh, okay. I was being overpresumptuous. he's probably just bad about email.

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:05 (nineteen years ago)

ha ha, I admit having the currently most famous thread on ILE sandbox is cheering me up

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:05 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, honestly, other people round this board can verify that I am notoriously bad at myspacing them back, returning e-mails, even getting me on the phone because I just hate to answer my phone, I would hate for one of them to kill me over it :D

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:07 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus, Ally, would it kill you to write me back once in a while? I thought we were friends.....

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:07 (nineteen years ago)

Also, OMG, I cannot stop eating these cookies, they're the PERFECT toll house batch.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:08 (nineteen years ago)

I gave that guy so many blowjobs. I think he would need a whole week to forget me.

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:08 (nineteen years ago)

I wish I was laurel right now: drunk and eating cookies

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:09 (nineteen years ago)

You don't, really; I have to be at work at 9am, I haven't done laundry in about a month, and I'm completely single.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:11 (nineteen years ago)

Also, the cigarettes are going to kill me sooner or later.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:11 (nineteen years ago)

ha ha, we should totally invent an "if you like pina colados" type scenario where we make up a profile and contact him.

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:13 (nineteen years ago)

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:14 (nineteen years ago)

can I say that my racism against my own people has been totally vindicated in this instance? I knew this dude was desi!

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:15 (nineteen years ago)

dudes are valuing blowjobs less and less these days, it's all about the come on the face.

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:15 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks, but I don't think an open relationship would work out -- it's only a matter of time until I burn someone with a cigarette. Or four. Jealous streak, me.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:16 (nineteen years ago)

killing them won't bring them back

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:16 (nineteen years ago)

No, but it does make them yours forever.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:17 (nineteen years ago)

It helps if you keep the head.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:17 (nineteen years ago)

Right, I'll be returning all of YOUR e-mails promptly from now on...

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:18 (nineteen years ago)

dudes are valuing blowjobs less and less these days, it's all about the come on the face.
like I said, I'm memorable!
xpost

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:18 (nineteen years ago)

anonymous TMI ILE frenzy represent!

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:19 (nineteen years ago)

oh laurel hooray. someday we shall meet, when i am not hungover on mondays. hey i got a new niece today!

(old niece + new niece)
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/165/387596699_924931afeb.jpg

― m00kiepr00f (m00kiepr00f), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:19 (nineteen years ago)

cuetys!

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:19 (nineteen years ago)

congratulations!

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:19 (nineteen years ago)

I see we are on the same page, then, I would shake your hand and purchase you one beer. uh xpost but I'll buy the baby a beer too.

― Allyzay P. Boxcars (trm), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

dang it, babies trump melodrama

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:21 (nineteen years ago)

Congratulations!! Is everyone in fine health? I dunno about the new niece, but the old one looks like a keeper. Someday I will be an aunt and there will be children's books galore!

Also, we have already met, silly, at a FAP that Ally & TOMBOT came to.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:21 (nineteen years ago)

hooray for babies that aren't mine. ally, i will drink that beer

― m00kiepr00f (m00kiepr00f), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:21 (nineteen years ago)

haha, well. someday we will meet when i am not already so drunk that ppl think i'm "special" (july 2005)...

― m00kiepr00f (m00kiepr00f), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:24 (nineteen years ago)

:D I love youse guys all is forgiven.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:26 (nineteen years ago)

http://img398.imageshack.us/img398/4348/martimonial1ms4.jpg

― friday on the porch (lfam), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:41 (nineteen years ago)

yes, those websites really are quite amazing. Hours of entertainment

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 05:44 (nineteen years ago)

his profile isn't really I want to get married...it's more like, this is stupid, but what the heck. (he started it after his divorce, but before me, and I guess he did not want to give up. Understandable, there are things I started before him that I didn't want to give up either) But it bugs me if he's leading on some chick(s) who's('re) really looking to get hitched.

― damndoodyballs (DDDD____DDDD), Monday, 12 February 2007 06:13 (nineteen years ago)

He's looking for a cheap maid for when he's married to you so you won't have to cook and clean.

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 12 February 2007 07:29 (nineteen years ago)

you are drawn to unavailable men, seek therapy now and mb u can have a healthy relationship one day in the distant future

― aidsy (aidsy), Monday, 12 February 2007 09:23 (nineteen years ago)

When travelling long distance for the purposes of killing one should favour ground tranportation such as the train or bus as it is much less harmful to the environment.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 12 February 2007 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, consider your carbon footprint when arranging murderous expeditions! I suggest you travel via pogo stick or space-hopper.

― C J (C J), Monday, 12 February 2007 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

this thread has convinced me that we clearly need a "rolling ASK DRUNK ALLYZAY AND LAUREL FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE thread"

― a_p (a_p), Monday, 12 February 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

dang it, babies trump melodrama

T-SHIRT SLOGAN

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Monday, 12 February 2007 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

When travelling long distance for the purposes of killing one should favour ground tranportation such as the train or bus as it is much less harmful to the environment.
-- Ed (dal...) (webmail), February 12th, 2007 10:55 AM. (dali) (later)

I love that Ed's such a hippy even on a hypothetical murder thread.

― ailsa_xx (ailsa_xx), Monday, 12 February 2007 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

you should wear terry cloth nappies as well. Disposable nappies are terribly non-biodegradeable.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 12 February 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

Isn't murder giving a little carbon back?

― onimo (nu_onimo), Monday, 12 February 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

+ removing dude's lifetime carbon footprint

― onimo (nu_onimo), Monday, 12 February 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

All about emissions trading innit

― onimo (nu_onimo), Monday, 12 February 2007 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

It certainly reduces the amount of carbon dioxide exhaled over the rest of the life expectancy. Doing the world a favor, why not?

XP hah

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 12 February 2007 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

I would like to state for the record that I was not drunk last night!

― Allyzay heard you got beat up in a club. (Allyzay Eisenschefter), Monday, 12 February 2007 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

I just love the idea that some murder victim's last memory is Ed derangedly pogo sticking over to them with a long knife.

― Michael White (Miguelito), Monday, 12 February 2007 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

At least they wouldn't have it for long...

― kv_nol (kv_nol), Monday, 12 February 2007 15:17 (nineteen years ago)

Kartik Raman looks a bit like Louis Jagger to me. FYI.

― Allyzay heard you got beat up in a club. (Allyzay Eisenschefter), Monday, 12 February 2007 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

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