Office Parties (Christmas or otherwise) - C/D?

I got a snog at the first Christmas party I went to with my current employer and thought that this would be par for the course. Sadly, six years on I can report that it hasn't been. Nevertheless, I always have fun. I think the only one which wasn't good was at Oxford United's stadium. Hardly anyone came and the dancefloor and bar area were on different floors. The room where the dancefloor was had metal pipes running across the ceiling like we were in a factory or ship's engine room or something. It was pretty soulless. OUFC play in the Conference now. That'll teach 'em.

So true! I work with people who don't go out all that much and it's funny when you realise but a bit frightening when your cop on to the fact that they don't know and will keep going at the same pace! It can get messy but most of the time it's easily covered!

Teetotals are dangerous! My ex-boss was one and there was always the fear of "what will he remember? Am I talking too much? Too little? Am I glassy eyed? Oh noes!" In the end I'd avoid him. Helped that we didn't get on all that well so I didn't feel like I was missing anything :)

He was already retelling the story of one of our employees who at his first Christmas Party, two weeks into the job, ended up haranguing one of the senior partners with "No-one likes you, you cunt, you're a cunt, you cunt".

This is my 4th Xmas party here. The first was karaoke above a pub which was dire an scary given that I'd been in the job for a couple of weeks. The second was one of those tents they set up in batersea pakr which I missed becuse I was ill. Last year was a charity ball at the grovsenor hotel, the highlight of which was watching peter andre's embarrassment rise as Jordan stormed off stage in a huff. Now there's only six of us we are going to the pub.

Was this 2004? I was there! We all came over from Dublin. It was not very nice.

teh_kit, I hope there is at least drinking and generally silliness involved and not just pwnj!

Shame about the constant sanity checks, though.

Our Xmas party is on Monday, and I expect occasional ILXor N!cholas Passant to get up to all kinds of decadence while I behave myself.

2002 - my first proper office party. It was at Tiger Tiger. The food was poor, the venue pretty grim, the people I was sitting with were and still are lovely but the telesales team up at the other end of the table had consumed so much bouze and cocaine that one of them vomited at the table, in full view of our Chairman. One of the sales girls got up and decided to perform a full set of animal impressions at the table. Nice.

2003 - dire salsa bar in Fulham, which was not exactly a perfect location as our office was based in Soho. I vomited outside the cab on the way home. Not pleasant.

2004 - some poncy piano bar in Mayfair. This was actually quite pleasant in that I enjoyed the food, went home at a sensible hour and nothing remotely remarkable happened.

2005 - this one was great! New company, threw an 80s icons party at the Asylum in Fitzrovia. I went as Inspector Gadget, my costume kicked arse and won every prize going, everyone got absolutely wasted and danced and it was a bit like Poptimism in fancy dress. On the way home, I found Bjorn Borg passed out face-down in the gutter, surrounded by concerned homeless people wondering whether to call an ambulance.

2006 - this will be a pleasant restaurant lunch followed by all day drinking and probable bin death. I am very much looking forward to a total lack of enforced fun.

This year I got an email saying goats and alpacas were being bought for Africans or whatnot on our behalf. CHEERS. Hope the Shoreditch Elves strike again this year - founder and wife had all sorts of freebies from the world's fashion houses stuck in their 4x4 and had just dropped by the office to annoy us about something or other and in the milliseconds it took them to piss us off all their ill-gotten gains were TEEFED by aforementioned elves.

The company will have another one, next year I think. (Not an Xmas party, but a big company wide party, celebrating, err, themselves.)

The last one was rub. And excruciating combination of really drunken and really dull. I'm already trying to think of excuses not to go.

Compulsory to go to a party? Do you get paid for it? Surely they can't force you.

kit, fair enough. I'm still new to the PS2 malarkey so it's all shiny and fun! Also:

I can do 2 player PS2 games any day of the week

I can't get anyone interested in them at all!

i work for the government now so we don't have parties.

was this N1C|< p/\55/\N7??

Haha did you work at M1ll3nnium P4rnters too then?

my gvt job has a holiday party during work hours but i'll probably wind up staying at my desk. if i'm lucky.

oh and i'll also get the requiste cheap-ass "gift" from the vp of my dept...usually its a $1.00 ornament from the christmas tree shop..while I drop $10 into a pot to get him a gift certificate for $100 to Legal Sea Foods. I really need to get out of this place.

This marks the 2nd company party in 3 years i've worn the full santa suit. Always good times.

Apparently there is a horrible employee jazz trio who will be playing, I'm debating if I should sit in or leave well enough alone.

Umm, maybe there's some sort of UK/US divide here but I thought getting smashed at 1 in the afternoon was THE WHOLE POINT?

I don't think I've ever seen an office Xmas party through to the end.

The four years before that involved exciting flights and hotels and free bars and dressing up and stuff. In Croydon.

my night improved drastically when i bailed an hour later to meet some friends and got wasted on free laphroaig in the village.

our departmental lunch is in eleven hours and forty-five minutes' time. yes, a saturday. only day we can guarantee none of us will be working. it'll be my first with this department, and my first as a boss. i'm not sure what to expect. carnage, i hope.

at some point, when i have more time, i shall share my story about the legendary b1g 1ssu3 glasgow xmas party of 199x (subs pls chk), which involved guns being pulled and kippers being microwaved.

(actually, i might not: that precis makes it sound better than it really was.)

and i've got to work now, from 4pm until midnight. FUCK.

The best xmas party ever was for this shit job I had in Colorado conducting telephone research surveys (I actually went to my first day of work half in the bag and nobody even noticed). It was at night with a huge spread of food and free booze and we could bring guests so I brought two of my friends with me and we sat in a corner and ate and drank ourselves stupid. I quit the job a couple days later.

But yeah it was a bit sad. My new job will include making sure we sell enough stuff so that we can be truly decadent next year. (Translation: bigger portions on lasagna!)

6 Dec: Lunch with customers at Poulots in Donnybrook, quite decourous and a very pleasant way to kick off the silly season.

7 Dec: Proper gala Christmas ball at the Gallery of Modern Art in Royal Hospital in Kilmainham. Very decadent and featured some irreligious swing dancing in the converted chapel.

12 Dec: Dinner and drinks with clients, argument at dinner table (not involving me) and staying out till three. *Not* pretty the next day.

14 Dec: Wine tasting and canapes at Berry Brothers, followed by ye olde Oirish pub, followed by stay in the Westbury Hotel. Very drunken, my boss fell asleep at about 2am and we dressed him up like a Christmas tree and took photos.

Tomorrow: Drive to Kilkenny for party at Langtons for cabaret dinner featuring 'legendary' showband, The Conquerors.

Wednesday: Lunch at l'Ecrivan - Michelin starred!

Thursday: Boozy lunch with clients somewhere lovely hopefully.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!

I would LOVE to have seen this and been there. Sounds fun. I really don't like l'Ecrivain, I think it was spoiled for me by the person who kept taking us there! We had office xmas party in Dobbins. Fun even if all the decent middle of the range wine was conveniently finished. Previous years have included L'Ecrivain (Drunken fun with mojitos downstairs!) and Shanahans (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz).

My new job's party was before I started, but they invited me anyway. Woohoo, party with strangers! Worked out pretty well though, as I got to see how non-stuffy they all are before meeting up at the job. Hearing the owner of the company say "meat curtains" was a definite sign that everything would be ok.

More drinks with office people tonight. Go away! I need to shop, I want to play violent computer games before heading home for a week, I have friends to catch up with!

Still, at least everyone will be hungover tomorrow, I will be going home early* so looking forwards to being all superior to them.

*famous last words!

good food and drink though!

acquired someone else's coat

Went for lunch
Ate the best steak ever
Drank four times body weight in red wine
Accidentally kicked off long argument between two managing partners
Circulated probably false rumour that two workmates were in love with one another
Have no memory of anything at all happening after 7pm
Apparently made it home without financial or material loss or injury

I think that I escaped without a hangover, I am invincible.

So true. Ouch.