I officially give up (the "Epic Movie" thread)

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http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/epicmovie/

― Jim Feeney (Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe), Thursday, 14 December 2006 14:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Without having seen the trailer, only the picture on that link, I can predict:

- exactly what will happen in this film
- exactly what all reviews will say
- exactly what every single person who enjoys this film will be like.

This probably makes me a bad person, but I know I'm right.

― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 14 December 2006 14:14 (seventeen years ago) link

Plot Summary for
Epic Movie (2007)
The twisted minds of two of the six writers of "Scary Movie" tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in "Epic Movie." The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican "libre" wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a "normal" resident of a mutant "X"-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a "G"). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry - and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.

HAR HAR

― has been plagued with problems since its erection in 1978 (nklshs), Thursday, 14 December 2006 15:20 (seventeen years ago) link

WAHT, NO HOBBITS?

― has been plagued with problems since its erection in 1978 (nklshs), Thursday, 14 December 2006 15:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Is dude to the left of Superman supposed to be Magneto, then? And the gal to the left of Captain Jack is in some way plane-snake-related? The guy behind Paris looks very familiar, but not enough for a name.

It is, I imagine, pointless to ask what the girls in bikinis are doing on the poster.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 14 December 2006 15:34 (seventeen years ago) link

The gal to the left of Cap'n Jack looks like Jennifer Aniston, who is her own genre.

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 14 December 2006 18:26 (seventeen years ago) link

guy behind Paris: http://www.lavidadelosgorilas.org/archives/images/waldo.gif

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Thursday, 14 December 2006 18:29 (seventeen years ago) link

http://imdb.com/title/tt0799949/

Kumar's in this.

― kingfish in absentia (kingfish), Thursday, 14 December 2006 18:33 (seventeen years ago) link

I know I already posted it once, but...

The twisted minds of two of the six writers of "Scary Movie"

― has been plagued with problems since its erection in 1978 (nklshs), Thursday, 14 December 2006 18:37 (seventeen years ago) link

This may be better than every single movie it satirizes.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 14 December 2006 18:37 (seventeen years ago) link

okay it's lame, but 'faun john' makes me laugh.

― remy bean (bean), Thursday, 14 December 2006 18:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Crispin Glover's in this (okay, as Willy Wonka, which is actually a cool idea).

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 14 December 2006 22:04 (seventeen years ago) link

sounds totally horrible but I feel obligated to see just about anything Crispin's in (and he totally woulda been a better WW than fuckin JD)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 14 December 2006 22:07 (seventeen years ago) link

That's a hard road to walk down, man.

Also it's great to see Cobrastyle has finally become the "wacky hijinks" music of choice.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 14 December 2006 22:12 (seventeen years ago) link

the weird thing about these movies is that they aren't in any way funny if you haven't seen the specific subject being parodied (and the parodies rarely go beyond something kinda gross happening). whereas earlier Zucker/Abrams stuff would take on entire genres (and still have lots of clever, standalone gags) these have this weird kind of airtight, insular feel, like their just slightly shittier versions of their source material with random cameos.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 14 December 2006 22:16 (seventeen years ago) link

(and yeah wtf, no hobbits?!!?)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 14 December 2006 22:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe that's what the other 4 writers of Scary Movie have been working on

― has been plagued with problems since its erection in 1978 (nklshs), Thursday, 14 December 2006 22:20 (seventeen years ago) link

sounds totally horrible but I feel obligated to see just about anything Crispin's in (and he totally woulda been a better WW than fuckin JD)

Did you enjoy his role in Lil Bow Wow's film Like Mike?

― Michael (Oakland Mike), Thursday, 14 December 2006 23:04 (seventeen years ago) link

didn't know about it! I did enjoy his dance moves in Friday the 13th, Part IV.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 14 December 2006 23:43 (seventeen years ago) link

Wonka should have been played by Walken. It's a fact.

― grady (grady), Thursday, 14 December 2006 23:50 (seventeen years ago) link

The twisted minds of two of the six writers of "Scary Movie"

-- has been plagued with problems since its erection in 1978

I read it as one sentence ...

― jibe (jibe), Friday, 15 December 2006 00:56 (seventeen years ago) link

Man, is LIKE MIKE worth a view? I remember really, really wanting to see it at the time–even trying to beg friends to come see it in the theatre with me, or at least sneak into it after a more money-worthy feature. I don't recall now why I was so excited.

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 15 December 2006 04:15 (seventeen years ago) link

I am looking forward to "Good Movie."

― a bulldog fed a cookie shaped like a kitten (austin), Friday, 15 December 2006 04:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Based on the pic on the website, I'm guessing the writers walked past a costume shop having a post-Halloween sale and asked themselves "How can we make this into a movie?"

― n/a (n/a), Friday, 15 December 2006 11:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Like Mike was good!

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Friday, 15 December 2006 11:33 (seventeen years ago) link

I am looking forward to "Good Movie."

lol!

― sean gramophone (sean gramophone), Friday, 15 December 2006 12:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Or put another way:

TS: "Rocky Balboa" vs "The Pursuit of Happyness" vs. "Autocatheterization With a Length of Rusty Barbed Wire"

― a bulldog fed a cookie shaped like a kitten (austin), Friday, 15 December 2006 13:19 (seventeen years ago) link

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