I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

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HELL NO.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 02:39 (fifteen years ago) link

Motherfucking goddamned HTML....

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 02:40 (fifteen years ago) link

Plot Outline: Two straight, single Philadelphia firefighters (Sandler, James) pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic partner benefits.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 02:46 (fifteen years ago) link

If Ving Rhames and Steve Buscemi's roles in this movie are as a legitimate gay couple who threaten Chuck and Larry's plan, we might be onto something.

Dom Passantino (DomPassantino), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 02:49 (fifteen years ago) link

it's just a bit of fun so let's be cool

Jaufre Rudel (Jaufre Rudel), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 02:52 (fifteen years ago) link

Wait, if they're both firefighters why do they need domestic partner benefits? Wouldn't they already both have the same benefits packages?

Hurting (A-Ron Hubbard), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 03:17 (fifteen years ago) link

If Steve Buscemi's role in this movie is a fundamenalist Christian pyromaniac, we might be onto something.

editio princeps (pato.g27), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 03:58 (fifteen years ago) link

Dennis Dugan's career peaked with "Richie Brockelman, Private Eye" I'm afraid

bliss (blass), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 04:10 (fifteen years ago) link

Wasn't there already a film where the guy from Friends pretended to be gay?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 10:55 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah there's no need for two films about similar things to exist.

Blaze the Violet Flame (nu_onimo), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 11:01 (fifteen years ago) link

that is certainly true of:

Ants | A Bug's Life
Armageddon | Deep Impact
Red Planet | Mission To Mars
Police Academy 4 | Police Academy 5 | Police Academy 6 | Police Academy 7
and more

sede vacante (blueski), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 11:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Can someone answer my question please? The whole premise of the film makes no sense!

Hurting (A-Ron Hubbard), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 14:58 (fifteen years ago) link

One of them is a volunteer firefighter in the city, the other one works for the county (suburb $$)

TOM. BOT. (trm), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Hmm, that would make sense, but the description says "two Philadelphia firefighters" - which kind of implies that they're both city firefighters.

Hurting (A-Ron Hubbard), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:06 (fifteen years ago) link

This movie looks really, really stupid.

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:09 (fifteen years ago) link

Wasn't there already a film where a guy from Philadelphia was gay?

Notuomas (nu_onimo), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:10 (fifteen years ago) link

tuomas' point is not nearly as insipid as whatever hurting is trying to come up with. dan/daddino otm, lock thread.

TOM. BOT. (trm), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:12 (fifteen years ago) link

This movie looks really, really stupid.
-- Jesus Dan (djperr...), Today 3:09 PM. (dan perry) (later)

how can you say that?!? it's got adam sandler AND kevin james!

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:14 (fifteen years ago) link

fuck Notuomas u beat me

jw (ex machina), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:15 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493045/

^ omg

jw (ex machina), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link

Wasn't there already a film where a guy from Philadelphia was gay?

Rocky?

David RER (Frank Fiore), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:21 (fifteen years ago) link

Don't be spitting on Apollo's grave!

Blaze the Violet Flame (nu_onimo), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

I'm predicting a lot of "OH NOES WE HAVE TO KISS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!"

Hurting (A-Ron Hubbard), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:23 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.cynical-c.com/archives/bloggraphics/bosombud.jpg

jhoshea (jhoshea), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:25 (fifteen years ago) link

ihttp://www.impawards.com/1982/posters/tootsie.jpg

Alfred Soto (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:50 (fifteen years ago) link

tuomas' point is not nearly as insipid as whatever hurting is trying to come up with.

I think you probably mean inane. I was being inane on purpose.

Hurting (A-Ron Hubbard), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:51 (fifteen years ago) link

I'm sure they'll learn an important lesson at the end, just like in Soul Man.

I'm also guessing there will be some kind of Brokeback Mountain gag, possibly a scene where they rent it for research purposes (maybe even in a montage of how-to-be-gay training), skeptically start the DVD, and then we flash cut to movie's end, where they are both sniffling into tissues and trying to pretend they're not crying.

Actually, screw an important lesson at the end: the obvious cool ending for this would be if, after months of pretending, and after a crisis where they're discovered and their friendship is tested, they come to realize how much they mean to one another and start having sex.

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:46 (fifteen years ago) link

I'm guessing this movie will be about as good as a frottage cactus party in a pool full of lemon juice.

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:52 (fifteen years ago) link

And then, because of the discovery of their ruse, they don't get the benefits, but they find something much more important: true love.

Ving Rhames = a guy (on the downlow) the knowingly bi-curious Sandler picks up on Craigslist behind James's back (discovery of which by the sexuality-denying James prompts the big crisis that tests their "friendship" and leads to their ruse being exposed)

Buscemi = reprise of role from Billy Madison, puts on lipstick and shoots gaybashers right as they're about to attack Sandler

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Who the shit is Kevin James?

Dragons (per the previous FAQ answer) (nklshs), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:54 (fifteen years ago) link

Tom Hanks = uncredited cameo as dancing anthropomorphic lubricant bottle in dream that taunts/tempts James, encouraging to put the moves on Sandler

Rosie Perez = hag

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:56 (fifteen years ago) link

Isn't that Rosie Perez in every movie?

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:56 (fifteen years ago) link

And, actually, in real life?

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:57 (fifteen years ago) link

Hence the "joke"

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:57 (fifteen years ago) link

Dammit Ally, why can't I ever play Kingfish without you blowing up my shit?

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 17:58 (fifteen years ago) link

TOOSHAY

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:00 (fifteen years ago) link

You've caught a Hylian Pike (27 inches)!

I heart lure fishing in nu Zelda game (nklshs), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:00 (fifteen years ago) link

kevin james = king of queens

urghonomic (gcannon), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:00 (fifteen years ago) link

her head looks too big

grbchv! (gbx), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:01 (fifteen years ago) link

You forgot to mention that, also, he sucks.

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:01 (fifteen years ago) link

Isn't that implicit in the "= king of queens" bit?

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:03 (fifteen years ago) link

Um seriously though, the fact that they've named Rhames's character "Duncan" is probably a pretty good cue he's been cast as gay (cause you know it's so hilariously type-breaking that a well-muscled black man would be gay, that never happens in real life). Still, I'm going to have to give my break-out Oscar nod to Jamie Chung as "Asian Chick #3."

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:05 (fifteen years ago) link

I saw someone on this board just the other day talking about anticipating receiving King of Queens DVDs!

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:07 (fifteen years ago) link

As newish sitcoms go, King of Queens is really not bad.

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:08 (fifteen years ago) link

And that person was.... NABISCO

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:09 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't have to buy it on DVD -- it's on like 8 times a day in NYC, as is any other sitcom, no matter how crappy, that has to do with this city. (Seriously, is The Nanny in syndication anywhere else on Earth?)

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:14 (fifteen years ago) link

LOL BLONDE'S HEAD IS HUEG

kingfish in absentia (kingfish), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:19 (fifteen years ago) link

The Nanny's theme song was pretty catchy, at least.

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:21 (fifteen years ago) link

The Nanny still plays on sky in the uk I believe although it does appear to have dissapeared from in flight entertainment.

Ed (dali), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:21 (fifteen years ago) link

king of queens is on approximately 15 times a day in chicago. it's ubiquity is probably what will drive me back to cable. i hate that fucking show but every now and again jerry stiller will be so over the top retarded that i can't help but laugh. THERE'S a dude i will mourn when he goes.

oh, and fran drescher was bobbi fleckman, that gives her a pass for the rest of the 20th century. she's on borrowed time now though.

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 19:11 (fifteen years ago) link

My excuse is that I see no reason to distinguish between "The King of Queens" and "Still Standing", ergo every argument I've advanced has had an example episode of "Still Standing" where "The King Of Queens" should be.

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 19:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Just want to stop in to say that I would rather eat a pizza than have sex with fran drescher, for the record.

Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 19:58 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh now what the hell is "Still Standing"

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 19:59 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah, but WHAT pizza? Despite what they say, there is such a thing as bad pizza.

whoop de doodle (kenan), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 19:59 (fifteen years ago) link

Just want to stop in to say that I would rather eat a pizza than have sex with fran drescher, for the record.
-- Mr. Que (pelagi...), Today 7:58 PM. (Party with me Punker) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh now what the hell is "Still Standing"
-- Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (garance8...), Today 7:59 PM. (Allyzay Eisenschefter) (later)

same for me on both counts.

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:02 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh now what the hell is "Still Standing"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0320970/

(I think the technical term is "some bullshit")

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:03 (fifteen years ago) link

Drescher's 20th century pass is EXPIIIIIIRD.

Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Jami Gertz IS IN ... Some Bullshit

David RER (Frank Fiore), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:05 (fifteen years ago) link

hahaha

I think you Drescher-haters are completely missing the crucial fact that BODY IS SLAMMIN

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:05 (fifteen years ago) link

Drescher's 20th century pass is EXPIIIIIIRD.

yes, ergo the "she's on borrowed time now though" comment. i included it to indicate i can't fault her for "the nanny" no matter how fucking retarded i may have found it.

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:08 (fifteen years ago) link

dan otm we already went over this

a_p (a_p), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:08 (fifteen years ago) link

It really doesn't matter how many times you say it, people be people, dudes.

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:09 (fifteen years ago) link

I would actually have LIKED "Still Standing" if it had been called "Some Bullsh*t".

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:11 (fifteen years ago) link

i think you're missing the fact that body was "slammin" for a 47 year old but that was a decade ago.

re: "still standing", i know that show but the only thing i know of it is to turn it off if it's on. i never knew the name of it until now.

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:11 (fifteen years ago) link

I was actually going to say something upthread about how having a comely shape does not make someone non-horrible, but I was trying not to be superficial and lookist and stuff. But yeah, when she came back with that "I'm dating a 20-something hunk" sitcom one of its main problems seemed to be that there was nothing all that fish-out-of-water about the premise, cause you'd see her in jeans in the commercials and be all like "yeah, that makes sense."

I've seen exactly one episode of Still Standing, do not plan on seeing any additional episodes of Still Standing, and yes, Dan, your "OMG why does it think we take these characters seriously" complaint would appear to actually work for that one.

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:12 (fifteen years ago) link

Also from what I saw it seemed to have a "please decide which stock sitcom character types each of these people is supposed to be" problem, cause I spent the whole episode going "wait, I thought she was supposed to be the uptight dork one???"

Judging by that period when I was working weird hours, the best of the recent in-syndication sitcoms is totally Yes, Dear.

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:15 (fifteen years ago) link

What the hell is Yes, Dear!! You are making these all up now, right?

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:16 (fifteen years ago) link

i prefer the smith family... continued or jimmy in the city.

jhoshea (jhoshea), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:22 (fifteen years ago) link

Yes Dear sucks more balls than a boystown bath house. fuck anthony clark and that other moron retard who played his neighbor. i really really really detest that show. so unfunny. so painful to watch. god, how does a piece of shit like that get made and then stay on the air long enough to get a syndication deal.

i hate this country sometimes. usually when i think about crap like yes, dear.

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:22 (fifteen years ago) link

It's a show that includes Tim Conway dressed up as an off-brand Superman!!!

ihttp://www.comicscontinuum.com/stories/0309/25/yesdear2th.jpg

Plus let me again point out that you sitcom detractors have clearly never even seen the sitcoms you pretend to hate: the other moron retard is his brother-in-law and LIVES WITH HIM, not his neighbor. That's the entire premise of the show. Possibly that was just TOO SOPHISTICATED and went over your head, SITCOM-HATER.

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:25 (fifteen years ago) link

what abt there goes the neighborhood! or bull market?

jhoshea (jhoshea), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:27 (fifteen years ago) link

Possibly that was just TOO SOPHISTICATED and went over your head, SITCOM-HATER.

Someone's been watching some sitcoms.

Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:28 (fifteen years ago) link

(On a serious note, though, sitcom-humor is pretty dependent on routine behavior and the long-term predictability of characters, so obviously if you've only seen two episodes of something it's gonna come off fairly sucky: they're really best built for back-to-back mid-afternoon syndications where around your 10th episode or so you're immersed enough in the basics to find it all properly amusing.)

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:28 (fifteen years ago) link

Candy Stripers

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:29 (fifteen years ago) link

"immersed"

Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:29 (fifteen years ago) link

the three eddy m's

jhoshea (jhoshea), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:31 (fifteen years ago) link

Bring it, sitcom-haters. So far you're on the level of like "OMG Seinfeld sucks, that woman who played Jerry's wife was terrible."

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:31 (fifteen years ago) link

Eddie Shoemaker, Private Eye

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:32 (fifteen years ago) link

but i loved jenny: for real! so spunky.

jhoshea (jhoshea), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:32 (fifteen years ago) link

If I was home during the day I would totally watch a sitcom with lunch or something. Like MASH. But I guess MASH isn't on anymore?

Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:33 (fifteen years ago) link

shitcoms

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:33 (fifteen years ago) link

so obviously if you've only seen two episodes of something it's gonna come off fairly sucky: they're really best built for back-to-back mid-afternoon syndications where around your 10th episode or so you're immersed enough in the basics to find it all properly amusing

Yeah it probably takes this many episodes for the POISON to LEAK into your BRAIN.

Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:33 (fifteen years ago) link

http://wizardishungry.com/no/stickies.jpg

jw (ex machina), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:34 (fifteen years ago) link

Danny Beltway

a_p (a_p), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:34 (fifteen years ago) link

i don't hate sitcoms, i hate stupid fucking shows with bad writing and obvious gags.

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:34 (fifteen years ago) link

No Me Gusta

a_p (a_p), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:35 (fifteen years ago) link

Shitcom

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:36 (fifteen years ago) link

"i don't hate sitcoms, i hate stupid fucking shows with bad writing and obvious gags."

does not compute

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:36 (fifteen years ago) link

M*A*S*H = mostly mid-day weekends when sports are light, or else very late at night -- it's a schedule-gap plugger.

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:37 (fifteen years ago) link

Shakey Mo Collier Must Be Stopped

Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:37 (fifteen years ago) link

alice v trent

jhoshea (jhoshea), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:37 (fifteen years ago) link

Do you think Hawkeye was a better surgeon while he was drinking? I'm thinking yes.

Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:38 (fifteen years ago) link

M*A*S*H = mostly mid-day weekends when sports are light, or else very late at night -- it's a schedule-gap plugger.

yeah, i watched it sunday morning before meet the press. it was the one where henry blake got killed. :((((

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:38 (fifteen years ago) link

Herman's Head

a_p (a_p), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:38 (fifteen years ago) link

one stupid sitcom i did like was alf but that was when i still smoked pot every day so...

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:45 (fifteen years ago) link

smoking pot every day = watching sitcoms?

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:46 (fifteen years ago) link

smoking pot every day = enjoying stupid sitcoms.

otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:47 (fifteen years ago) link

I like my sitcoms to be quality, like "Two and a Half Men".

Jesus Dan (dan perry), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 20:51 (fifteen years ago) link


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