Things I learned in a gay video bar in Washington D.C.

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1) Mary J. Blige has done a version of "One" with U2, which since it sounds 70% like the original I thought was a huge turd (this was the night before Grammy noms I think)

2) Prince had a recent single that sounds like "Raspberry Beret"

3) a tAtU video will be immediately turned off

4) Technology enables Paris Hilton to sound just like any other pop-dross princess

― Dr M (Dr Morbius), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:24 (seventeen years ago) link

things i learned in a gay video bar in baltimore, md: montages of cut-up footage of mommie dearest set to the tune of "mama mia" are always funny

― strongo (temp.) (sandboxhulkington), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:29 (seventeen years ago) link

mayb change thread to things we learnt in gayvideo bars

― Dr M (Dr Morbius), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Things that I learned in a gay (video?) bar in Madison, WI: a bad techno remix of "Good Times" is like an oasis among other bad techno remixes

― JordanC (JordanC), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:40 (seventeen years ago) link

what is a video bar? srsly, dudes, i live in the sticks

― grbchv! (gbx), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:40 (seventeen years ago) link

The only video bar I've been in was a gay bar -- I think the two are inextricable.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:42 (seventeen years ago) link

a bar where instead of a Dj playing music it's an endless stream of pop music videos with the music playing loud on a dancefloor. So people watch videos while dancing. The Castro has a couple- Badlands, Midnight Sun.

where do y'all stand on the house remixes of Fleetwood Mac's "Sarah"? For a while they were in every goddamned gay bar I went to. How about the deep house graverob of Nina Simone's "Turn Me On"? Truly, the list is endless . . .

― Dr. Drew Daniel, PhD (Drew Daniel), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:42 (seventeen years ago) link

huh. who knew. you gays are crazy!

i just learned that one of the bars here in town "used to be" a gay bar which was both :D and UH, because this is (a) a small town and (b) in Western Montana, a place not generally known for opening its arms to the gay community

― grbchv! (gbx), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Thing I learned in a gay bar - knock before entering toilet cubicles.

― Ned T.Rifle (Ned T.Rifle), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:47 (seventeen years ago) link

The Green Lantern in DC was playing some remix of the B-52s that sounded like the gals were being drowned. (I think it was "Love Shack" w/ Fred cut out -- makes sense, Fred does not inspire bonerism.)

Also, if you're lucky, the bar will actually be playing the AUDIO of the videos they're showing. (I was 1-1 on this score.)

― Dr M (Dr Morbius), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:48 (seventeen years ago) link

The only video bar I've been in was a gay bar -- I think the two are inextricable.

This isn't true, but I think the non-gay video bars are all outside of the United States.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Monday, 11 December 2006 20:49 (seventeen years ago) link

It actually makes a certain amount of sense because of that specifically gay pop diva adulation thing- so when Janet's song comes on you can dance to Janet and dish about her nails and her implants, when Mariah is on you can get down to her song and also discuss the anal bleaching rumor etc.

gay video bars also tend to have cultish nights where certain tv shows with a high camp factor are watched with cocktails- I never actually made it to "Golden Girls" night at the Midnight Sun but apparently it was quite festive if you like that sort of thing.

― Dr. Drew Daniel, PhD (Drew Daniel), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.portlandmercury.com/blogtown/files/2006/07/maxHeadroom.gif

― obi strip (sanskrit), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:55 (seventeen years ago) link

"I think it was "Love Shack" w/ Fred cut out -- makes sense, Fred does not inspire bonerism."

:( why you make Fred cry

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:57 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought the Midnight Sun's whole thing was TV shows (Ellen! Simpsons! Melrose Place!)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:58 (seventeen years ago) link

How about the deep house graverob of Nina Simone's "Turn Me On"? Truly, the list is endless . . .

oh yeah, they played this. i thought the video was actually kinda fun but the remix was godawful.

i was surprised by how many songs were played non-remixed (justin, beyonce, nelly furtado).

― strongo (temp.) (sandboxhulkington), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:58 (seventeen years ago) link

a place not generally known for opening its arms to the gay community

arms??

― C J (C J), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:59 (seventeen years ago) link

When I went to gay clubs back in the early 90s they used to have videos playing that had nothing to do with the music playing. It was weird but sometimes funny.

― Ned T.Rifle (Ned T.Rifle), Monday, 11 December 2006 21:01 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost to Shakey

alright, let's just say Fred's voice apparently does not prep for bonerism the way the pop divas do (but not for me). It was all like nude nuns and dead kittens to me.

― Dr M (Dr Morbius), Monday, 11 December 2006 21:01 (seventeen years ago) link

they used to have videos playing that had nothing to do with the music playing

I'm now thinking of The Flashing Blade, overdubbed with silliness on kids Saturday morning TV back in the 80s.

― C J (C J), Monday, 11 December 2006 21:05 (seventeen years ago) link

when Mariah is on you can get down to her song and also discuss the anal bleaching rumor

― ian (orion), Monday, 11 December 2006 21:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Since gay guys like The Golden Girls, does that mean that lesbians watch Coach?

― step hen faps (Curt1s Stephens), Monday, 11 December 2006 21:28 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost

Uh, I was referring to a rather antiquated news item there. Apparently Mariah's publicist heard that Vanity Fair was going to do some big takedown article about Mariah, and in a goofed attempt at a pre-emptive strike the publicist fired off an email saying "we want to absolutely and categorically deny the rumor that Mariah has the hairs around her anus bleached". The editors at Vanity Fair were taken aback but promptly printed the email itself in the magazine as the ultimate in TMI.

― Dr. Drew Daniel, PhD (Drew Daniel), Monday, 11 December 2006 21:45 (seventeen years ago) link

None of the gay bars in Miami have video screens; for audio-visual enjoyment we depend on the groaned exertions of the Nicaraguan guy in a tanktop shaking his ass to an outdated Tenaglia mix.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 11 December 2006 21:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Well that made me cringe.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 11 December 2006 22:13 (seventeen years ago) link

what, Mariah's anus or the thought of sweaty go go dancer boys?

― Dr. Drew Daniel, PhD (Drew Daniel), Monday, 11 December 2006 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm going to go with both

― grbchv! (gbx), Monday, 11 December 2006 23:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Y'all need to get "out" more, obviously.

Or see a specialist about that cringe. It makes for bad posture.

― Dr. Drew Daniel, PhD (Drew Daniel), Monday, 11 December 2006 23:12 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah these are perfectly common big city sights

― strongo (temp.) (sandboxhulkington), Monday, 11 December 2006 23:13 (seventeen years ago) link

though i'm not sure if i've been to any of baltimore's particularly sleazy gay bars yet

― strongo (temp.) (sandboxhulkington), Monday, 11 December 2006 23:14 (seventeen years ago) link

All notable tracks from the 50+ year history of the Eurovision Song Contest have been covering by drag queens.

― Dom Passantino (DomPassantino), Monday, 11 December 2006 23:17 (seventeen years ago) link

new order works at leather bar.
NIN works at weho pretty boy bar.
television, talking heads and eno work at gay/mixed bar, only because of me + jukebox.

― MAP (mattp), Monday, 11 December 2006 23:30 (seventeen years ago) link

things i've learned from having control of the video monitor at a gay bar while DJing: women really, really don't like watching m/m rimjob scenes in pornos. (well, those ones didn't anyway)

― joseph (joseph), Monday, 11 December 2006 23:48 (seventeen years ago) link

I learned that Robyn (the "Show Me Love" one) once made a video that was a blatant homage to the traffic jam scene of Godard's Week End, I shit you not. It wasn't some kind of cute coincidence, no, it was shot almost exactly the same (roughly the same camera angle, height, speed), the main difference being that what's holding up all the cars turns out to be not a dead family but a couple kissin' in a car, awwww.

I learned that Babyface made a version of "Whip Appeal" where he sings "whip that pussy" over and over again.

I learned that, suprisingly, there's a Hi-NRG remix of "The Trolley Song" out there.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 00:33 (seventeen years ago) link

I've learned that people at the sleazier bars don't really mind it if you put "Death Disco" on the jukebox.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 00:37 (seventeen years ago) link

(Jesus H., I meant Robin S., not Robyn.)

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 00:40 (seventeen years ago) link

I've learned that people at the sleazier bars don't really mind it if you put "Death Disco" on the jukebox.

A "sleazier" bar here would play Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" and require some sort of Max von Sydow death's-head clergyman wildly making signs of the cross outside.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 00:55 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah these are perfectly common big city sights

"Big cities" usually have gay video bars.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 00:55 (seventeen years ago) link

the original anal bleaching rumor was about Lara Flynn Boyle, and she was having the skin bleached, not the hair

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I learned that on Fametracker about 5 or 6 years ago, and not in a gay video bar, though

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 01:01 (seventeen years ago) link

good lord

― kingfish in absentia (kingfish), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 02:03 (seventeen years ago) link

i've learned at the Metro that the scissor sisters make amazing videos and that even though that place always looks packed (no homo) it's pretty lame on the inside and they fake this crowded feeling by having all 10 of its patrons outside on the balcony.

― jaxon (jaxon), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 03:09 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost Of course you could just flaunt your vagina (and anus) like Britney Spears does. No need to send off an email to any magazine.

― nathalie (stevienixed), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 12:42 (seventeen years ago) link

notable tracks from the 50+ year history of the Eurovision Song Contest

There are some?

hehe, joseph, I would like to observe those women next time you have such control.

― Dr M (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 16:37 (seventeen years ago) link

"Waterloo"!

― Alfred Soto (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 16:41 (seventeen years ago) link

OK, that's like the one ABBA song I like.

― Dr M (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:19 (seventeen years ago) link

"Volare"

― Dom Passantino (DomPassantino), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:27 (seventeen years ago) link

well i'm DJing at a non-gay-bar tomorrow night in wburg and i think i have control of the video monitor. whether or not i play anything with a high rimjob content is up in the air.

― jo ga11ucci electrix (joseph), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Okay I would like to make Jess prove his assertion that Mariah's anus is a common sight at gay video bars.

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

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