PIZZA V BOOBIES

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WAIT GUYS WAIT

PIZZA VS BOOBIES

-- TOM. BOT. (tombo...) (webmail), December 7th, 2006 4:42 PM. (trm) (later) (link)

MY BRAIN JUST EXPLODED

Pizza and beer> > > boobies > >Pizza without beer

-- Mr. Que (pelagi...) (webmail), December 7th, 2006 4:43 PM. (Party with me Punker) (later) (link)

LIKE, THE BOOBIES AND THE PIZZA ARE OF EQUIVALENT OBJECTIVE QUALITY, NOT LIKE A PIZZA WITH TOTALLY FRESH MOZZARELLA VS. TARA REID

-- TOM. BOT. (tombo...) (webmail), December 7th, 2006 4:44 PM. (trm) (later) (link)

pizza with fresh mozzarella and proper sauce is totally better than Tara Reid, unless she is also offering to share her drugs/alcohol then it's a toss up.

-- Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (garance8...) (webmail), December 7th, 2006 4:50 PM. (Allyzay Eisenschefter) (later) (link)

also Mr. Que's answer is pretty much wrong.

-- Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (garance8...) (webmail), December 7th, 2006 4:50 PM. (Allyzay Eisenschefter) (later) (link)

ok let's make it a test
Pizza Hut v Angelina Jolie
2 Amy's v Anne Hathaway
Domino's v Tara Reid
Vace v Elizabeth Hurley
Patsy's in NYC v Uma Thurman
FBI Cafeteria Pizza v Mary Kate Olson

-- Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (garance8...) (webmail), December 7th, 2006 4:53 PM. (Allyzay Eisenschefter) (later) (link)

The Red Baron v Paris Hilton
Tombstone v Britney Spears
Little Caesar's v Lindsay Lohan
Papa John's v Kirsten Dunst
California Pizza Kitchen v Fran Drescher
Pizza Boli v Jennifer Lopez

-- Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (garance8...) (webmail), December 7th, 2006 5:31 PM. (Allyzay Eisenschefter) (later) (link)

Homemade pizza made by an actual Italian grandmother who has worked on it all day in the kitchen and got all the ingredients fresh from her summer garden and made the mozzarella the day before with milk she got from her own personal bufala v Salma Hayek

-- Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (garance8...) (webmail), December 7th, 2006 5:33 PM. (Allyzay Eisenschefter) (later) (link)

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I guess we already know all about me and I don't have to post here, right?

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:37 (seventeen years ago) link

"milk she got from her own personal bufala"

― 69 (pete), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:38 (seventeen years ago) link

DC69

― 69 (pete), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:39 (seventeen years ago) link

Also: Salma Hayek.

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:39 (seventeen years ago) link

Angelina Jolie
2 Amy's
Domino's
Elizabeth Hurley
Uma Thurman
FBI Cafeteria Pizza
The Red Baron
Tombstone
Little Caesar's
Kirsten Dunst
Fran Drescher
Pizza Boli
Salma Hayek

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:40 (seventeen years ago) link

What? NO! Have you ever heard Fran Drescher speak? Can you imagine Fran Drescher's hideous sex noises?

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:41 (seventeen years ago) link

man y'all seriously do not care about some old lady's effort in making you a pizza do you.

xpost you homo that's a fake voice, she doesn't sound like that in real life.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Have you ever eaten at CPK????????????????????

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

lol ally's banged fran drescher

― 50,000,000 blelvis fans can't be wrong (teenagequiet), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

Well then!

(Also, actual Italian pizza = bland and boring. Salma Hayek = slammin'.)

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah fran pwns CPK

― 69 (pete), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

Pizza Hut, 2 Amy's, conflicted, Elizabeth Hurley (in Passenger Tax Fraud only), Uma Thurman, FBI Cafeteria Pizza, The Red Baron, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Papa John's, Fran Drescher, Pizza Boli, homemade

― nuneb (nuneb), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

OHMIGODYOUAREDOINMEYEAHDOMESTATENISLANDharharharheeheeharharOHYEAHEXCELLTNOHYEAHPIZZAMANDOMEHAAAAAAAHHEEEEEEEEOHMIGODDOMETHEREOHDON'TDOMETHEREHAAAAAHAAAAHHHAAAALONGISLANDEXPRESSWAYHAAAAAAHAAAAA

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:44 (seventeen years ago) link

That Tara Reid/Domino's question is a doozy.

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:45 (seventeen years ago) link

pizza hut
2 amys
tara reid
vace
uma
UH
paris
tombstone
lindlo
dunst
fran
so tough
we be makin pizza while we makin love

― 69 (pete), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:46 (seventeen years ago) link

That Tara Reid/Domino's question is a doozy.

No it isn't! It's like "mild stomach virus" (Domino's) vs "disfiguring flesh-eating bacteria that smells like crusty tampons" (Tara Reid)

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Sorry, I meant "'disfiguring flesh-eating bacteria that smells like crusty tampons that plsmith wants to hit in the worst way' (Tara Reid)"

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:48 (seventeen years ago) link

i mean if i order from domino's, im ordering crusty tampons on the pie anyway!

― 69 (pete), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

THATS JUST HOW I ROLL DAN

― 69 (pete), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

PETE WHY YOU MAKIN LOVE TO A GRANDMA

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

only pizza hut offers crusty tampon topping.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

BUT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT BOOBIES ANYWAY RESPECT THE FOCUS

― 69 (pete), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Taco Bell Mexican Pizza v Jennifer Aniston
Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza Pocket v Posh Spice

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

What? NO! Have you ever heard Fran Drescher speak? Can you imagine Fran Drescher's hideous sex noises?

I heard Drescher's normal speaking voice in a Public Service Announcement, and it was really quite nice.

It was a PSA about rape awareness, so no bonerz.

― PPlains (PPlains), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

why would anybody want to hit crusty tampons with their thumb tucked inside

― TOM. BOT. (trm), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

IT'S LUV

http://www.tomie.com/images/spotlight_on/strega/strega_nona_cameo.jpg

― 50,000,000 blelvis fans can't be wrong (teenagequiet), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Aniston
Posh

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

wait is that Strega Nona?!?!?! I love that book!

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

ugh Posh? Paging crusty tampons, aisle Mr. Que...

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

though pizza pockets are pretty gross too.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

yr damn right it's strega motherfucking nona

― 50,000,000 blelvis fans can't be wrong (teenagequiet), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:54 (seventeen years ago) link

I LOVE THAT BOOK MY FAVORITE ALL TIME ZR KISSES 4 U

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:54 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.meowfoundation.com/images/mailbag/2001/posh305.jpg

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I WOULD READ ALL THIS CALDECOTT WINNERS

― 50,000,000 blelvis fans can't be wrong (teenagequiet), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:55 (seventeen years ago) link

i would pay 20 bucks for pizza or boobies right now.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:56 (seventeen years ago) link

pizza doesn't cost $20

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:57 (seventeen years ago) link

"homemade" Chef Boyardee pizza vs. Kirstie Alley

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:57 (seventeen years ago) link

i want it delivered, it's cold outside.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

agh Sara. Kirstie Alley, I guess.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

english muffin pizzas vs. ann coulter

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Kirstie Alley with a roll of duct tape. If pizza doesn't cost 20 bucks, then how much do boobies costs?

ann coulter

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Friday, 8 December 2006 19:59 (seventeen years ago) link

english muffin pizzas every time, that shit ain't as bad as ppl like to claim.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

oh come on, dude, english muffin pizzas are the jam!

― 50,000,000 blelvis fans can't be wrong (teenagequiet), Friday, 8 December 2006 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

winner in BOLD

Pizza Hut v Angelina Jolie
2 Amy's v Anne Hathaway
Domino's v Tara Reid
Vace v Elizabeth Hurley
Patsy's in NYC v Uma Thurman
FBI Cafeteria Pizza v Mary Kate Olson
The Red Baron v Paris Hilton
Tombstone v Britney Spears (we're talking current or recent Britney, right? Not 'Britney circa Crossroads.')
Little Caesar's v Lindsay Lohan - DRAW (Lohan in her prime wins, Cokewhore Lohan loses)
Papa John's v Kirsten Dunst
California Pizza Kitchen v Fran Drescher
Pizza Boli v Jennifer Lopez
Homemade pizza made by an actual Italian grandmother who has worked on it all day in the kitchen and got all the ingredients fresh from her summer garden and made the mozzarella the day before with milk she got from her own personal bufala v Salma Hayek

― milo (milo), Friday, 8 December 2006 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

man I would eat 70 hundred english muffin pizzas RIGHT NOW

― TOM. BOT. (trm), Friday, 8 December 2006 20:01 (seventeen years ago) link

kirstie alley in wrath of khan pwns all over the face of like all the pizzas and most of the girls

also, english muffins are so great, but theres something so hot and transgressive about the idea of sexing ann coulter

― 69 (pete), Friday, 8 December 2006 20:01 (seventeen years ago) link

english muffin pizzas every time, that shit ain't as bad as ppl like to claim.

srsly, when i was a young shaver and living on my own (sans roommate) for the first time i lived on these things. at the time, if i couldn't cook it in a toaster oven then odds are i didn't know how to make it.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 8 December 2006 20:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Am I the only person who would pick Mary Kate? ;_;

Oh well more Mary Kate for me :D

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 20:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 239 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

you should start with the boobies and pussy as the reverse tends to lead to disappointment.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 21:43 (seventeen years ago) link

Pizza gives you energy, though.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:45 (seventeen years ago) link

really depends pretty heavily on about 100,000 factors on whether or not pizza will "give you energy" or make you bloaty and sluggish.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 21:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Pizza makes me strong like the hulk.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Mmmmm. Pizza flavored pussy. Wait. Hold on. Let me think this through...

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael, no...

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 21:47 (seventeen years ago) link

I think I'll just go back to the beer, eh?

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:48 (seventeen years ago) link

I had Two Boots for lunch, it did little but cut the roof of my mouth with cornmeal. I should have taken the boobies but I was in a hurry.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Wait, did you leave them at work?

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:49 (seventeen years ago) link

do you have
a pizza cooch
better try some
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Matt Cibula (Formerly, the Haikunym), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:50 (seventeen years ago) link

I should have taken the boobies but I was in a hurry.

if this is on the menu, ALWAYS TAKE THE BOOBIES.

shit, i'm moving to new york.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Ally, in any case it's inarguably better than the reverse.

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:50 (seventeen years ago) link

This isn't SAUCE!

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Anchovies made your breath all twatty?
Rinse yr bits with a nice hot toddy --
LISTERINE DOUCHE

― I Am Curious (George) (Slight Return) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:53 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't know, it's not that i don't like surprises or anything but i like my pizza to taste like pizza you know?

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Our product is
The one you trust
We'll remove
That deep-dish crust
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Matt Cibula (Formerly, the Haikunym), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:54 (seventeen years ago) link

dammit i gotta change my login name

― Matt Cbilual (Formerly, the Haikunym), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:55 (seventeen years ago) link

No, I mean, if there were boobies on the menu I missed 'em, I was too busy trying not to kill any tourists with my company ID since the cold has driven the stroller-bound infants, the elderly, the foreign, and the JUST PLAIN SLOW into the Rock Center concourse.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:59 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost: ...or else they shall hunt you down, you, the only American critic who actually loved 'In Our Gun'!

I'm listening to that album right now, actually. I've already eaten pizza tonight (Sainsbury's Taste The Difference quattro formaggi), all that's missing now is pussy to be perfectly honest...

― Louis Jagger (Scourage), Friday, 8 December 2006 21:59 (seventeen years ago) link

The realization that Ally and Tombot psionically projected themselves into the future to raise a young Louis Jagger into adulthood before bringing him back to the present explains so much.

― kingfish in absentia (kingfish), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"adulthood"

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:01 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost: ...or else they shall hunt you down, you, the only American critic who actually loved 'In Our Gun'!

Without even checking, I assumed this was a Gomez album.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:02 (seventeen years ago) link

the dulcet tones of

― Louis Jagger (Scourage), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:03 (seventeen years ago) link

'legal' adulthood, then. The boy can now be drafted and could be a soldier, and go out there and fight to save this land. To be a people's soldier, paramilitary gun in hand.

― kingfish in absentia (kingfish), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:04 (seventeen years ago) link

you kids make the world lousy

― Matt Cibula (Formerly, the Haikunym), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:07 (seventeen years ago) link

i could be drafted, shame about the 'british citizen' bit.

― Louis Jagger (Scourage), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:10 (seventeen years ago) link

dear ILX

I'm sorry

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 22:11 (seventeen years ago) link

hated in 50 states

― Sandbox Scourage (Scourage), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:12 (seventeen years ago) link

it's really not you dude, though you aren't helping your case very well.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (Allyzay Ei, Friday, 8 December 2006 22:13 (seventeen years ago) link

oh hey i've met tomie depaola

hawaiian pizza w/bbq sauce and chicken v. weird hot but slightly trampy chick that you met in the bar that knows about guns and also might be a grade-school teacher

― grbchv! (gbx), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:36 (seventeen years ago) link

weird hot but slightly trampy chick, by a mile, you pizza heathens.

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:38 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah, that one was sort of a gimmie

― grbchv! (gbx), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:39 (seventeen years ago) link

Evan, is that strictly hypothetical? Because if the answer is "no", what the hell are you doing online? (XP haha)

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:40 (seventeen years ago) link

gimmie what? STDs?

xpost

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:40 (seventeen years ago) link

Or a backside full of birdshot?

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:41 (seventeen years ago) link

louis,

don't use the word "pussy", it makes you sound poor.

― M@tt He1ges0n (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:41 (seventeen years ago) link

what a most excellently shorn escutcheon you possess, madam

― if ilx thinks i'm a rich-kid, then i must surely be one (Scourage), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:48 (seventeen years ago) link

escutcheon?

'Pulchritudinous pudenda' more like it, no?

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:50 (seventeen years ago) link

is that little lord fauntleroy slang for nappy dugout?

― M@tt He1ges0n (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:51 (seventeen years ago) link

What a comely quim you have, Miss.

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

It works on so many levels!

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Friday, 8 December 2006 22:59 (seventeen years ago) link

So, you know her then, Kenan?

― Michael White (Miguelito), Friday, 8 December 2006 23:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Boys. Go home.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 8 December 2006 23:14 (seventeen years ago) link

HALT

― urghonomic (gcannon), Friday, 8 December 2006 23:20 (seventeen years ago) link

HAMMERZEIT

― JPG of the year (Scourage), Friday, 8 December 2006 23:22 (seventeen years ago) link

EVEN WHEN IT'S BAD IT'S PRETTY GOOD AMIRITE GUYS?

― Hurting (A-Ron Hubbard), Saturday, 9 December 2006 05:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah! Nailed it!

― Hurting (A-Ron Hubbard), Saturday, 9 December 2006 05:15 (seventeen years ago) link

I think the best thing about this thread is that, even when it was awful, it was awesome.

― Jesus Dan (dan perry), Saturday, 9 December 2006 18:32 (seventeen years ago) link

haha my wife just picked Padma Lakshmi

― Matt Cibula (Formerly, the Haikunym), Saturday, 9 December 2006 18:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Someone should rewrite "Swimsuit Issue" inserting pizza names every other word.

― nuneb (nuneb), Sunday, 10 December 2006 02:31 (seventeen years ago) link

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