Rank the Gospels!

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1. Matthew
2. Mark
3. John
4. Luke

― Casuistry (casuistry), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

Although Thomas is perhaps best of all.

― Casuistry (casuistry), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

Mark

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 17:16 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.utoronto.ca/religion/synopsis/meta-4g.htm

― elmo albatross (allocryptic), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 17:19 (nineteen years ago)

god hates frames

― a_p (a_p), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

1. John
2. Mark
3. Matthew
4. Luke

The last two I find a bit boring, cause they're full of predictable bullshit (whereas John is full of highly unexpected bullshit). I like how the end of Mark has disappeared.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

1. according to Peanuts

― step hen faps (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 18:09 (nineteen years ago)

1. Thomas
2. Mary
3. Truth
4. Philip
5. Judas

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

I usta remember what they were each like, but I know at least 3 are better than Godspell

― Dr M (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 18:15 (nineteen years ago)

John is the histrionic, anti-semitic one

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

(of the canonical ones I like Chester Brown's comic book adaptation of the Gospel of Mark the best - Jesus as angry wizard!)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 18:55 (nineteen years ago)

The guy who Gospel According to Peanuts lives in my hometown!

― PPlains (PPlains), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

I like how the end of Mark has disappeared.

You know, I've just been reading up on the gospels, and I haven't heard this idea that the end of Mark has disappeared. Just that alternative endings were tacked on. The best thing about Mark is its curveball ending!

John 1 is fantastic but after that it's all downhill, endless dithering, too much discourse and repetition and pat phrases.

― Casuistry (casuistry), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 19:53 (nineteen years ago)

Matthew is all punchy though! All those little parables and sayings, they're all explosive aphorisms. Luke turns them into this huge ramble, but John at least has the decency to write confusing rambles.

― Casuistry (casuistry), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

All of them are better than anything written by Paul.

― jaq (jaq), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 20:36 (nineteen years ago)

Jaq OTM 4eva. Fuck Paul.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 20:38 (nineteen years ago)

Have you guys seen the guy on Slate who is blogging the Bible?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

Matthew is pretty much the shit for that insanely quotable sermon. Which is the gospel with the freaky weird temptations? I never got the one about throwing yrself off a tower. Bread & water after 40 days of nothing, I can see. All the everything awesome in the entire world I can totally see. But throwing yourself off a tower so angels can catch you is just a really stupid temptation, even for the biggest adrenaline fool around.

All the disturbing Archie Xtain comics ended with the imperative: READ you that GOSPEL of JOHN kiddies! That is like the worst gospel ever.

Luke is called "the hurried gospel," but it's more like "the boring gospel." Oh brother. Mark I can't remember worth shit, so it must be pretty unremarkable.

Paul is definitely the worst & stupidest part of the whole Bible. Jesus Christ that guy was a bastard. Revealations kind of makes up for slogging through all those epistles, though, as it's hella trippy. I don't think I've ever read anything epistolary that's even remotely good, except Pamela which at least was weird.

― Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

ALSO Shakey Mo mega OTM on the Chester Brown gospel front. I wish they'd put those things in a compendium. I also like the "If thy right hand offend thee" bit in Ed the Happy Clown.

― Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

1http://www.holytrinitygarland.org/images/dummiesbanner1.jpg

2http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Images/Chicago/0226675793.gif

3http://www.harriscomm.com/catalog/images/b129a.jpg

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 23:09 (nineteen years ago)

If you guys ever get a Mormon Bible, they are footnoted with "Joseph Smith translations" meant to correct the Bible. This one is my favorite:

JOSEPH SMITH TRANSLATION
MATTHEW 27: 3-6
Judas’s death is described. (compare Matthew 27: 3-5; Acts 1: 18)
3 Then Judas, who had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,
4 Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood.
5 And they said, What is that to us? See thou to it; thy sins be upon thee.
6 And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself on a tree. And straightway he fell down, and his bowels gushed out, and he died.

― Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 23:12 (nineteen years ago)

Mark I can't remember worth shit, so it must be pretty unremarkable.

Mark's the one where Jesus is all cryptic and "don't tell anyone about me" and "ugh you disciples will never understand" and then he dies and the women go to the tomb and the angel is all "tell the disciples Jesus will meet them in Galilee" but instead the women freak out and run off afraid. THE END. It's weird in a totally different way than John is, and more subtle.

― Casuistry (casuistry), Thursday, 7 December 2006 00:56 (nineteen years ago)

1) Thomas
2) Harlem Gospel Choir

― remy bean (bean), Thursday, 7 December 2006 05:53 (nineteen years ago)

Have you guys seen the guy on Slate who is blogging the Bible?

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), December 6th, 2006.

David Plotz is a pretty good journalist, I think.

― remy bean (bean), Thursday, 7 December 2006 05:56 (nineteen years ago)

If you guys ever get a Mormon Bible, they are footnoted with "Joseph Smith translations" meant to correct the Bible.

Dang, when they came to my house 10 years ago they just gave us a regular King James and a Book of Mormon.

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Thursday, 7 December 2006 06:47 (nineteen years ago)

Last I check, which was a while ago, that "blogging the bible" was a pretty thin and shallow reading. Like someone "blogging the zoo" and writing an entry about "OMG, PLATYPUS!"

I'd totally read someone like Slacktivist working his way through the Bible though.

― Casuistry (casuistry), Thursday, 7 December 2006 07:31 (nineteen years ago)

anyone raised in a Judeo-Christian society that's unaware of the bible being full of murder, rape, incest, treachery, theft, torture, warfare ad nauseam has their head up their ass

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 7 December 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

like OMG did you know Yahweh was a jealous vengeful asshole?!

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 7 December 2006 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

Oh man I really wish you could see a platypus in the zoo. They're my very favorite. I hear they die in captivity.

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 7 December 2006 18:35 (nineteen years ago)

Are they really not usually in zoos? I thought for sure I'd seen on there once (prolly the Philly Zoo?), but I don't go to zoos, they make me unhappy.

― Casuistry (casuistry), Thursday, 7 December 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

i just tivoed a cool documentary on platapods or whatever they're pluraled as.

― remy bean (bean), Thursday, 7 December 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

Your search - "jesus rides a platypus" - did not match any documents.

shame, that.

― remy bean (bean), Thursday, 7 December 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

OH, I'LL SEE TO IT LATER THAT OUR LORD SAVIOR JEEBS XTO RIDES ONE MAGICAL MONOTREME. WAIT UNTIL SOON!

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 7 December 2006 19:08 (nineteen years ago)

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