I'm increadingly fascinated by the NYC tabloid cover/headline process

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Yesterday's Post visibly raised the spirits of morning commuters, with a picture of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears headlined BIMBO SUMMIT. (Both papers seem to hit their most memorable strides when insulting women -- cf that HILL SLAP / BITCH SLAP I posted about a while back.)

Today, for a story about Danny Devito showing up somewhere drunk, neither the Post nor the Daily News can come up with anything more interesting than the fairly lame DANNY DE-VINO. Worse still, this is a totally lame story. Danny Devito has spent decades exclusively playing nasty little men and still being totally lovable. The guy's seemed genuinely madly in love with Rhea Pearlman. Is there anyone in New York who seriously begrudges him a bender or two? Story-wise, "Danny Devito gets drunk in public" is about on par with "Jerry Seinfeld eats cereal alone."

This is the ongoing sandbox thread for tabloid cover and headline discussions.

― the pony-poop paradox (the pony-poop paradox), Thursday, 30 November 2006 19:47 (seventeen years ago) link

"Wax Museum Fire Results in Hundres of New Danny Devito Statues"

― JordanC (JordanC), Thursday, 30 November 2006 19:55 (seventeen years ago) link

http://scoopsnoodle.com/lix/post.jpg

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 19:56 (seventeen years ago) link

increadingly = incredibly + increasingly

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 19:57 (seventeen years ago) link

Paris Hilton looks weirdly like Glenn Close there.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 30 November 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

coming up with potential post/dn headlines is a popular pasttime amongst people i know. even if you don't read the tabloids, you see the covers so many times during the day that the phenomenon seeps into your psyche (cf. bright lights, big city) and you start to think of things in terms of how they could be phrased for a story.

― Lauren (lauren), Thursday, 30 November 2006 19:59 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.vh1.com/shared/media/images/movies/people/c/close_glenn/150x223.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 30 November 2006 19:59 (seventeen years ago) link

in my opinion bimbo summit is one of the most inspired ones ever.

there i said it.

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 20:01 (seventeen years ago) link

It really is! At first it seems like a straightforward insult, but then there's a whole extra layer of funny coming from the fact that it's, you know, the word "SUMMIT" in a newspaper headline, right where it's supposed to be. It's like the Post equivalent of deadpan -- pretending to be journalists!

Plus then obviously you spend the rest of the day imagining the whole thing being like Yalta, where they hash out important accords on who gets to suck off whom in which bathroom stall.

That picture makes it seem like Britney's looking at Paris in total admiration -- it's like an old-money / new-money postcard!

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 30 November 2006 20:16 (seventeen years ago) link

exactly. i like the greater context of it pushing the bachelor party shooting below the fold too - i'm imagining them (this requires a team, no? with, like, a huge version of the cover laid out in pieces on a table in the middle of the newsroom) looking at another headline of cop killing, just getting too depressed and sticking bimbo summit in there at the last moment, to joyous applause from the entire post staff.

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 20:32 (seventeen years ago) link

(I can't believe that the "after" pictures from this night aren't being discussed.)

― PPlains (PPlains), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:01 (seventeen years ago) link

YOW! NSFW

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:08 (seventeen years ago) link

i had somehow missed those, jeez.

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

her left leg looks like its been hastily taped on

― deep space nine (deep space nine), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

i was in such a rush taping my left leg on and all that i forgot the underwear!

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:12 (seventeen years ago) link

vagog!

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:13 (seventeen years ago) link

LL looks like neil young in that photo

http://www.altmanphoto.com/neil.jpeg

― stevie (stevie2), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:15 (seventeen years ago) link

bimbo summit: neil young, glenn close and some pantless chick drive around or something!

― jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:20 (seventeen years ago) link

how do you pronounce "vagog"?

― a giant mechanical ant (a giant mechanical ant), Thursday, 30 November 2006 21:20 (seventeen years ago) link

that britney vag is photoshopped, right? i mean come on.

― grady (grady), Thursday, 30 November 2006 22:12 (seventeen years ago) link

LL looks like she is tripping BALLS.

― drunk Friendster massage (nklshs), Thursday, 30 November 2006 22:12 (seventeen years ago) link

ok, apparently its real.

foxnews.com's headline:

GRRR! Mommy, Where Is Your Underwear?

― grady (grady), Thursday, 30 November 2006 22:24 (seventeen years ago) link

tmz.com:

Leave it to Beaver

― grady (grady), Thursday, 30 November 2006 22:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Britney Spears' no-panties stunt is a disgusting abuse of power.

WAHT

― I Am Curious (George) (Slight Return) (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 30 November 2006 22:34 (seventeen years ago) link

from some hollywood gossip blog:

She's a Slave 4 Cooze

― grady (grady), Thursday, 30 November 2006 22:39 (seventeen years ago) link

NBSCO OTM re: Danny Devito. That man is a good man.

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 30 November 2006 23:15 (seventeen years ago) link

panty hamster?

― PPlains (PPlains), Thursday, 30 November 2006 23:22 (seventeen years ago) link

nice c-section scar

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 1 December 2006 03:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Today's Post: TAKEN FOR A RIDE (about taxi rate hike) next to big-ass picture of Lohan (Page 6 related), creating distant visual impression that ... "Lindsay Lohan got taken for a ride? I'd like to take her for a ride, if you get my meaning. I better walk over to the newsstand and see what this is all about."

Today's Daily News: Goes for public outrage over police crackdown on ... friends of the guy they just shot? Good choice, and terrific overegged tabloid-slang subhead: "Hunt for mystery witness in groom slaying rachets up the tension in Queens nabe." (They decline to use "slay" as a noun! Plus "nabe!") Up top, it's POPE PRAYS IN MOSQUE -- MOMENT OF HISTORY. "Moment of History???"

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 1 December 2006 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

I was just arguing with a friend the other night about whether "nabe" was legitimate slang, after she spotted it in a Chicago Journal headline.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 December 2006 20:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Ok so today's Post circles around to totally blow my mind: the subhead for a story about Yoko Ono's weird chauffeur thing reads --

Chauffeur's 'slay threat'

-- which, okay, what's with the quotes? It's obviously not a direct quote cause NOBODY ON EARTH says "slay threat" except for Post peeps! So are those supposed to be scare quotes? But like why would the Post suddenly develop some weird-ass propriety about "alleged" versus "actual" or whatever? Curious.

― the pony-poop paradox (the pony-poop paradox), Friday, 15 December 2006 06:20 (seventeen years ago) link

any sense of "propiety" at the NY Post is legally motivated

I read the Post infrequently -- mostly when it's given away on the street as a promo. but I've noticed that EVERY issue I do see contains at least 1 headline usually 2 or 3 w/the word PERV.

like SUFFOLK DA PROBES SCHOOL PERVS

― headless body in topless bar (lovebug ), Friday, 15 December 2006 10:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Story-wise, "Danny Devito gets drunk in public" is about on par with "Jerry Seinfeld eats cereal alone."

This is still good.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Friday, 15 December 2006 10:37 (seventeen years ago) link

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