thumbsucker blues: sandbox parenting thead

also, should i try to change to an ailse seat now or should i wait and hope for a first class upgrade?

(change to an aisle seat in case you don't get an upgrade, then try for an upgrade anyway)

My child is so grown up all of a sudden. She wears college like comfiest jeans.

Actually I blame my migraine.

Left pic is me and O playing with photobooth. Other is an old pic.

I am so so so proud of my daughter - she's graduating with her masters in a few weeks:

http://static.flickr.com/112/308816577_b88c6512c8.jpg

my boy has his first fever, just a little stomach bug we think. He's doing fine.

No-one I know ever has their kids christenened :-/

(xpost don't apologise. And, FWIW, don't try and imagine what she's feeling, just be a friend if and when needed)

And congrats to Jaq's daughter!

And best to feverish Louis. Our pediatrician wisely advised us not to rush to the medicine cabinet when Sarah had fevers -- the fevers were there to burn out whatever the underlying cause was, so we let them go unless they got really high.

Do today's parents use the Dr. Spock Baby book at all? I had an older copy that had some fairly sensible advice in it. My favorite child-rearing book was Kids: Day In and Day Out, which I'm sure is long out of print and far too hippy/mid-70s to be of much use today.

When my kids were babies, I used to read some of the Dr. Sears books. They are a little intense for some people, though (not everyone wants to be encouraged to breastfeed forever, or co-sleep. Also, I never did catch on to how to use a sling).

I think I am going to end up being one of those moms who breastfeed forever, which is fine, it'll give the inlaws something besides politics to talk about on thanksgiving.

My mum used it (not for educational purposes as she found it too liberal). I bought a new one when I was in university. I wanted to be a child psychologist so I figured I'd need the Dr Spock book. I looked in it once or twice when Ophelia was in my belly and after she was born but I didn't much like what he had to say about certain things (like do you go to yr kid when he's crying or not).

I don't really look in the books anymore.

So, yeah, we're not getting much sleep (I do Tuesday, Friday and Saturday nights) though last night wasn't too bad - fed on demand at 12:15, 3:50 and 5am (at which point we were joined by a wailing Ava).

Here's Tallulah doing her threatening Scouse face:

http://static.flickr.com/117/306594197_973f1a2ab1.jpg

Here's Ava buried under cushions:

http://static.flickr.com/100/306596378_a4348fc14d.jpg

It is really painful, and unfortunately a lot of parents who can't stomach it for 1-3 nights end up with 4 years olds still sleeping in their beds.

I find myself posting pics to these threads (and scrolling through my Flickr sets) on days when I know I'm going to work late and hence not see her in the flesh when I get in... :(

sometimes it takes longer than 1-3 nights unfortunately, also. but yeah, we just met someone who has a 10 month old who hasn't had more than ONE HOUR of continuous sleep since the baby was born. NO. She seemed a little...insane.

That's it. We're just going to get a hotel room while the kid cries it out.

Also bad is when you have to go through it all over again because you visited someplace where the tyke had to bunk with you (happened a couple of times visiting the in-laws for 1-2 weeks over the holidays). Even being in a crib in the same room can cause a relapse. (akm: get the crib out of your room!)

-- PPlains (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), Today 7:28 PM. (PPlains) (later)

Yay!!

Y'know, as cruel as this sounds: the kid is not gonna suffer emotional damage because you let him cry it out. I know this easier said than done, but, trust me, with a little ferberizing (or just plain crying it out) it'll be solved. Look at your kid, can he manage to be on his own for an hour? Yes? Well, do it. I was of the opinion that I couldn't let Ophelia cry a little but my husband stressed that I had to or she wouldn't be able to be on her own. I don't think I was that *bad*: I did leave her for a minute or so but being with him (instead of being a single parent for example) taught me that I wouldn't really fall in my mother's trap of forever being there for my daughter. I was so dependent on my mother that I had EXTREME tantrums when my mom wasn't there (day or night) up until the age of about 2,5 yrs old. I just have to remember what Ophelia can become and I know that a bit of crying will do her good. God, that makes it sounds as though I neglect her. Trust me, I don't! :-)

http://static.flickr.com/99/308612161_281bb50fe1_m.jpg

Yeah she does!

;-)

TOM E YOU BETTAH POST A PIC OF YR BEBE!

http://static.flickr.com/113/312049561_000ceda740.jpg?v=0

Thanks, Archel. It isn't a definite diagnosis but I'll talk to the midwife next week & try the pillow thing anyway.

The OBGYN was a professor, I don't think he put my mum at risk though.

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html

On a lighter note, here is my baby brother (25 years my junior). He's just about to crawl, by the looks of things.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/175/396562899_4042640fe5.jpg

How are YOU doing? Is she sleeping through the night yet? I think that is one of the most important things that make it much easier for the parents: a good night sleep. :-) Shit, at the end of the year I'll have to give this up. Oh dear! :-)

What I am thinking about is taking the baby to a daycare (?) a couple of days a week. Most of my friends keep saying I should keep the baby (like I did with Ophelia) but I know how hard that wat (running a shop while taking of the baby). I don't think I'll cope with two kids... I feel guilty saying it but I do have to stick with the plan. I feel a bit like a bad mommy though.

She had her first vaccinations yesterday as well - barely blinked, the brave little tinker :)

How is old is she now exactly?

Yay for not crying! :-)

Here's something great about having two kids: they play together. Sometimes this devolves into fighting (at our house they even fight about imaginary things), but sometimes they play together so nicely and it's really great.

I'm wondering about a health issue. Cyrus, now 1.75, likes to carry around a bottle - it's his comfort item. It's time we should make him switch to a cup, but we haven't had the fortitude to deal with the crying. My real question is not so much about that, but about the volume of liquids he drinks. I know it's best not to give a kid that age more than a measly 4 oz. of juice. We only give him 100% juice and we water his bottles down so much that he only has a bit of juice. But he wants to have a bottle of milk or juice all the time. He wakes up in the middle of the night asking for a bottle a few times a night. Last night he drank 4 bottles during the night. He wakes up with his diaper soaked through. He cries and cries for it. He's also had sort of chronically loose poop, which makes me think he needs the liquid.

I know the answer already -- we have to be tough and just limit his bottles. But I'm wondering if maybe he's got some digestive/intestinal thing going on that makes him thirsty all the time.

I find it hard about daycare but I know that it'll be a good thing. In march OPhelia will go two days a week. A friendn said that she'll make big jumps as they are stimulated* a lot. My mom and best friend however are adamant that keeping a baby as long as possible is much better. Hmm, I think I'll contact the daycare and see if I can still reserve a place. It's quite difficult.

Maria, can you ask a doctor about the intestinal/digestive question? Because that has got to be really hard on your son's teeth. One possible compromise to make the transition easier: switching to water only bottles at night. Then he still has the bottle but at least it's not anything that is going to cause dental caries.

oh and regarding gestation, pregnancy lasts 40 weeks from date of last period, 38 weeks from fertilization.

We have discussed whether there might be a no.2 one day, but we're going to see how we get along with one - right now I'm really not convinced I could go through pregnancy again (and I haven't even done childbirth yet). Mind you, I was doing fine until I went overdue - it's just this past week I have been somewhat miserable.

Our kid's going to daycare at six weeks. I sure hope you don't feel guilty about sending a one-year old to daycare!

It seems like so many people I know are pregnant now, and I'm finding that I really really really want another one. Clearly not going to happen, and come on, I'll be 35 this summer, I'm already at the "advanced maternal age" period of my life, but wow, I WANT ONE.

Learning to live with "yeah, probably not gonna have any more" is sort of sad and a little hard.

As the dad of two kids 21 months apart, this rings so many bells with me it's practically a campanologists' convention.

It's very tough at the moment; I'm not sure we'd have coped so far without the network of neighbourhood mums (people Pam met at the weekly drop-in centre when Ava was very young) who helped us out when Pam was in hospital and occasionally give her a break by taking Ava for an afternoon. Ava loves her sister very much but has a tendency to express it in a slightly unrestrained manner - the other day she almost gouged Tallulah's eyes out in her enthusiasm. I look forward to when the dynamic of their relationship is a bit different to the constantly dangerous scenario of the rambunctious 2-y-o running wild vs helpless 3-m-o tot who gurgles happily even when 2-y-o is dragging her off the couch to "play" with her.

Free time just vanishes when you have two, I find. One child might seem draining of your time and energy but you will pine for those days of just one kiddie. And, as Jaq says, the logistics of looking after/transporting/doing anything social with two is massively complicated vs one child.

No one should ever give you grief for relying on daycare or other outside help even if you have just the one child. Whatever helps you get by, whether financially or emotionally. Parenting seems to be this continuous balancing act between what you need to do to just to cope and what the prevailing expert opinion on any specific topic is telling you to do (whether feeding, sleep routine, weaning, toilet training, etc).

It's all worth it, though. I think.

I'll be 35 this summer

Hell, I'll be 34 when the second will be born. Do I care? Hell no, I wanted two and that's what I'll have. Hopefully. :-)