the now never-to-be-seen next Altman film....

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would've been a scripted adap of Hands on a Hard Body.

At Altman’s Death, Much Left Undone
By RICK LYMAN

The films of Robert Altman were notoriously messy affairs: dozens of characters talking over one another, fuzzy bits of improvisation, storylines intertwining like linguine, odd occurrences at the edge of the frame. So perhaps it should come as no surprise that Mr. Altman, who died of cancer Monday at the age of 81, left behind a rather messy desk.

Among the unfinished works that may never see the light of day, in any form, are an autobiography announced in early October by Twelve, an imprint of the Hachette Book Group, which promised all sorts of juicy anecdotes from the director’s long, irascible and often boozy life within the heat of creative ferment. In his time as an industrial filmmaker in Kansas City, itinerant television director in the 1950s and ’60s and in his many ups-and-downs as a Hollywood titan from the ’70s onward, Mr. Altman befriended, mentored and feuded with just about every major figure in the movie industry.

And despite having suffered with cancer for the last 18 months of his life, a period when he also shot, edited and released his last film, “A Prairie Home Companion,” Mr. Altman had been forging ahead on several film projects.

One tantalizing project was a film to be set in the art world, perhaps destined to be the sort of intricate, multicharacter movie in which the director specialized, like 1975’s “Nashville” (county music and political campaigns), 1978’s “Wedding” (social class and conspicuous consumption), 1994’s “Prêt-à-Porter” (the fashion world) and 2003’s “Company” (the ballet world).

But the most immediate project, set to begin shooting in February, was “Hands on a Hard Body,” a fictionalized version of S. R. Bindler’s 1997 documentary about a contest at a Texas car dealership. The contest went like this: People placed one hand on a Nissan truck in the dealership’s showroom and the last one left touching the truck, days later, became its owner in a kind of “Survivor”-like endurance contest that is an updating of the Depression-era dance marathon.

Mr. Altman had said he hoped to make the film for $10 million, and it was unclear last week what would become of the project without him.

If it helps to conjure in the mind’s eye the movie that might have been, among the actors said to have been in the mix for roles in the film were Billy Bob Thornton, Hilary Swank and Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson.

Copyright 2006 The New York Times Company

Dr M, Monday, 27 November 2006 20:43 (seventeen years ago) link

i can imagine how shitty this would have been

cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Monday, 27 November 2006 20:52 (seventeen years ago) link

...wasn't he due to make a decent film, again, though?

yetimike, Monday, 27 November 2006 20:57 (seventeen years ago) link

i was at the world premiere of Dr. T and the Women. it was a horrible movie.

grady (grady), Monday, 27 November 2006 20:59 (seventeen years ago) link

his last two were QUITE decent

Dr M, Monday, 27 November 2006 21:18 (seventeen years ago) link

prarie home companion was great until it ended without any news from lake woebegone and then i was furious.

grady (grady), Monday, 27 November 2006 21:20 (seventeen years ago) link

i can imagine how shitty this would have been

-- cousin larry bundgee (power.strik...), Today. (later)

the art world one would probably have been worse :(

hank s1ockli (hanks1ockli), Monday, 27 November 2006 22:35 (seventeen years ago) link

He was already practicing for "My Hands On Lindsay Lohan's Hard Body"

StanM (StanM), Monday, 27 November 2006 22:40 (seventeen years ago) link

Has anyone seen Jazz '34? Apparently it's way out of print but I would love to get a chance to check it out.

Jordannnn, Monday, 27 November 2006 23:15 (seventeen years ago) link

I've been on vacation - had no idea he was dead. RIP :(

Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 28 November 2006 15:13 (seventeen years ago) link

shocker, etc., but lindsay lohan is really really dumb.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-11-21-lindsay-statement_x.htm

a giant mechanical ant (a giant mechanical ant), Thursday, 30 November 2006 00:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Huh. Cheesily sentimental (which frankly is understandable), but I wouldn't call it dumb.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Well, wait, I did just see the sign off. Okay, so she needs something with spellcheck.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, the sentiment is obviously genuine, and it's not a nice time to be picking on her. But the dumbness extends to even letting that get to the press without having someone literate read it first. The Independant called it "an indictment of the US educational system," which is perhaps equally dumb.

a giant mechanical ant (a giant mechanical ant), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Hands on a Hard Body could have been really good. Art world, probably not.

milo (milo), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:15 (seventeen years ago) link

The Independant* called it "an indictment of the US educational system," which is perhaps equally dumb.

Independent*

deep space nine (deep space nine), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:20 (seventeen years ago) link

Indepedant, amirite?

nu-nickn, Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:39 (seventeen years ago) link

I wish i had thought of that.

a giant mechanical ant (a giant mechanical ant), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:41 (seventeen years ago) link

today's NY Post:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/11292006/img/front112906.jpg

grady (grady), Thursday, 30 November 2006 01:45 (seventeen years ago) link

I wouldd point out that RA directed everyone from Lilian Gish to L Lohan, but I saw that Peter Travers already did.

Dr M (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 November 2006 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

I'LL PROLLY JUST EAT AN OOORNGE, MAYBE A SNICKA

jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 15:16 (seventeen years ago) link

“Hands on a Hard Body,” a fictionalized version of S. R. Bindler’s 1997 documentary about a contest at a Texas car dealership. The contest went like this: People placed one hand on a Nissan truck in the dealership’s showroom and the last one left touching the truck, days later, became its owner in a kind of “Survivor”-like endurance contest that is an updating of the Depression-era dance marathon.

I remember that episode of Mad About You, Ira did this contest and used Paul and Jamie as ringers to cheat the contestants. Hijinks ensued.

Al (Alex In Baltimore), Thursday, 30 November 2006 15:37 (seventeen years ago) link

for anyone who hasn't seen hands on a hard body U SHOULD SEE THAT SHITS so classic

i wouldve been wicked psyched to see an altman version even with the high likelihood of suckitude

jhoshea (jhoshea), Thursday, 30 November 2006 15:42 (seventeen years ago) link


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