Texts from Bennett

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http://textsfrombennett.tumblr.com/
prolly fake but whatevs it's fun
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvden4z0Bz1qk9nrro1_500.png

forksclovetofu, Thursday, 1 December 2011 21:48 (nine years ago) link

kinda feel like this is confounded's shiz
http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/12990470642/1/tumblr_luvvnsbpyn1qk9nrr

forksclovetofu, Thursday, 1 December 2011 21:48 (nine years ago) link

this is mac lethal's blog

gucc_ebooks (tpp), Friday, 2 December 2011 12:54 (nine years ago) link

dude this is fake as hell and not really that funny

I'm in the mood to party (J0n Arbuckle), Friday, 2 December 2011 13:24 (nine years ago) link

WHEN WILL CBS GIVE THIS MAN A TV SHOW?

Rolo Tony, Friday, 2 December 2011 14:17 (nine years ago) link

dude this is fake as hell and not really that funny

Not to mention uncomfortably racist at times.

I left my login in El Sandboxo, Friday, 2 December 2011 14:18 (nine years ago) link

Yeah but "Hustla da Rabbit" would have been one hell of a display name.

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 14:22 (nine years ago) link

honestly

forksclovetofu, Friday, 2 December 2011 16:19 (nine years ago) link

Not to mention uncomfortably racist at times.

yeah which is why i'm surprised that ILX seems okay with this

Rolo Tony, Friday, 2 December 2011 17:32 (nine years ago) link

I spoke with everybody; we're all good.

Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Friday, 2 December 2011 17:33 (nine years ago) link

FORKSCLOVETOFU STARTING AN INDISPENSABLE THREAD HERE

nuhnuhnuh, Friday, 2 December 2011 17:56 (nine years ago) link

THERES A TUMBLR I SAW IT

nuhnuhnuh, Friday, 2 December 2011 17:57 (nine years ago) link

oh don't be dicks, ppl

I'm sure every single thread you've started has been 100% awesome, right?

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 18:08 (nine years ago) link

dude this is fake as hell and not really that funny

― I'm in the mood to party (J0n Arbuckle), Friday, December 2, 2011 7:24 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Permalink

if frogbs is calling you out for some shit that is unfunny and basically racist, it's time to look in the mirror

v-shasty, Friday, 2 December 2011 18:16 (nine years ago) link

if you find achewood funny you will probably like this site, "texts from bennett" which features texts from a white guy saying things that black people usually say *head explodes in a pile of subtext*

actually forks this is definitely threadworthy but ILX just ain't the place for this kind of thing

Rolo Tony, Friday, 2 December 2011 18:19 (nine years ago) link

oh wait, this is the sandbox

Rolo Tony, Friday, 2 December 2011 18:19 (nine years ago) link

I never even looked at the site. All I saw was "Hustla da Rabbit" and that made me chuckle. People hiding behind fake DN's to bully a regular poster is just p lame imo.

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 18:25 (nine years ago) link

ok, i was being a dick. i have tendencies in that direction. forksclovetofu seems like a really nice guy. but i find literally every "funny" thing he posts to be not funny, ever. like someone who, every time they try to sing something, is a half-tone flat? just consistently tone-deaf. you can't hate them for it, especially if they're really nice otherwise. so you just try to ignore it. but sometimes you can't help but say something! STOP SINGING, YOU'RE ALWAYS FLAT. STOP POSTING LOLS, THEY AREN'T LOL. i'm matt p btw.

nuhnuhnuh, Friday, 2 December 2011 18:51 (nine years ago) link

t bums me out that a protest movement in america cant get motivated until a bunch of tumblr whites start to feel like "have nots" instead of the privileged "haves" they've always been all along. Sorry you spent too much on college tuition, Brandon. Poor people have been feeling this for years, welcome aboard, lil homie.

― dealwithit.gif, Thursday, December 1, 2011 4:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

dayo, Friday, 2 December 2011 18:57 (nine years ago) link

x-post

lol OK, fair enough and of course I know what you mean, we all have those people. I guess it just seemed lazy to be a jerk about to one another poster while using new/diff name. I didn't mean to get all amped about it.

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 18:57 (nine years ago) link

"a jerk about to one another poster "

woah - brain finger miscommunication here

"a jerk about to one another poster

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 19:00 (nine years ago) link

who is nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnunhunhunhunhunhunuhnh

flexidisc, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:00 (nine years ago) link

forksclovetofu

n/a, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:01 (nine years ago) link

forkclovestofu

dayo, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:01 (nine years ago) link

t bums me out that a protest movement in america cant get motivated until a bunch of tumblr whites start to feel like "have nots" instead of the privileged "haves" they've always been all along. Sorry you spent too much on college tuition, Brandon. Poor people have been feeling this for years, welcome aboard, lil homie.

― dealwithit.gif, Thursday, December 1, 2011 4:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

― dayo, Friday, December 2, 2011 6:57 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Permalink

ok so deal w it is def whiney

j crunchwrap supreme, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:02 (nine years ago) link

nuh uh

flexidisc, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:02 (nine years ago) link

who is nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnunhunhunhunhunhunuhnh

― flexidisc, Friday, December 2, 2011 2:00 PM (54 seconds ago) Bookmark Permalink

read posts more closely!

cad, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:02 (nine years ago) link

who is matt p

flexidisc, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:03 (nine years ago) link

lol

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 19:06 (nine years ago) link

who is flexidisc?!

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 19:07 (nine years ago) link

who is matt p

― flexidisc, Friday, December 2, 2011 2:03 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink

yes lol

cad, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:08 (nine years ago) link

i used to be known as dutch mayo on the other board

flexidisc, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:10 (nine years ago) link

fry sauce?

dayo, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:12 (nine years ago) link

but i find literally every "funny" thing he posts to be not funny, ever.

some people just live on different planes, man

i'm just surprised we aren't having a conniption over this - I mean, MY GOD

also it's probably as fake as every single post on "texts from last night"

Rolo Tony, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:13 (nine years ago) link

Well yeah, of course it's fake. I think it's probably too dumb for anyone to actually give a shit about tbh.

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 19:17 (nine years ago) link

some people just live on different planes, man

word, i should know that. sorry forks.

nuhnuhnuh, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:22 (nine years ago) link

supposedly the guy posting the texts:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Teaft0Kg-Ok

milo z, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:26 (nine years ago) link

(not Bennett)

milo z, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:26 (nine years ago) link

didn't know dealwithit.gif could rap too

dayo, Friday, 2 December 2011 19:31 (nine years ago) link

max_read: i fucking told you you goddamn moron dumbshits http://t.co/sjrnpHVx

HUSTLA DA =:3 (dealwithit.gif), Friday, 2 December 2011 21:05 (nine years ago) link

WOAH WOAH WOAH

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 21:07 (nine years ago) link

1000TimesYes: The second "Texts From Bennett" turned out to be fake it immediately went from kind of funny to kind of racist. #prettyflyforawhiteguy

HUSTLA DA =:3 (dealwithit.gif), Friday, 2 December 2011 21:09 (nine years ago) link

i'm not whiney fwiw

― dealwithit.gif, Thursday, December 1, 2011 3:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

dayo, Friday, 2 December 2011 21:09 (nine years ago) link

totally fucking whiney fwiw

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 21:10 (nine years ago) link

lol there was a second when this was not fake?

cad, Friday, 2 December 2011 21:11 (nine years ago) link

yeah, exactly

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ (~curious orange~), Friday, 2 December 2011 21:11 (nine years ago) link

Sherry Sprain
My thing, is most kids don't care enough about spelling and grammar to care that they sound like complete douchenuggets. I cant tell you how many kids I want to bash their head together and wag my finger into their faces, telling them to get their crap together. My kids had better not ever do douchenugget speak... or else!

HUSTLA DA =:3 (dealwithit.gif), Friday, 2 December 2011 21:16 (nine years ago) link

Elizabeth Galloway · Bethel High School
I know a kid that sounds just like Bennett so this is still hugely funny. 21 years old Juggalo wannabe pot head, who acts like he's all gangster. Can't spell worth a crap, didn't graduate because he was just lazy, who lives in a farm town with his 1 year old son. But he knows it all and will tell you so. I don't care of Bennett is fictional.. he mirrors a portion of the kids his age.
Reply · 11 · · about an hour ago

HUSTLA DA =:3 (dealwithit.gif), Friday, 2 December 2011 21:16 (nine years ago) link

o hey, i missed all this.

Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Friday, 2 December 2011 23:09 (nine years ago) link

you know, i had sorta resolved to take advantage of the sandbox to indulge in a little e-thug badditude since i'm not a mod here and i sometimes feel like playing a messageboard character who comes back with a "OH YEAH MATT P THEN WHY DON'T YOU BLOW ME HAH?" but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcEkQhCN1U4

Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Friday, 2 December 2011 23:12 (nine years ago) link

Article 19.

All parody songs are punishable not only by swift and inexorable death but private citizens are empowered to effect the sentence. Also, the guilty party's family is legally enjoined to refrain from posting on comments sections or message boards.

M. White, Thursday, 29 December 2011 21:35 (nine years ago) link

It's the "Whole Foods Parking Lot" guy!

polyphonic, Thursday, 29 December 2011 23:04 (nine years ago) link

that hyundai commercial is basically "mac miller's appeal" in 38 seconds

uncle bannmee who can recall his past logins (dealwithit.gif), Thursday, 29 December 2011 23:17 (nine years ago) link

i been thinking about these guys alot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhlUVyDBusg

not because its racist, but because I don't even know if mcdonalds can accomadate people who want "don't be frontin son, no seeds on the bun"

uncle bannmee who can recall his past logins (dealwithit.gif), Thursday, 29 December 2011 23:20 (nine years ago) link

my god cant believe i havent complained to the internet abt that hyundai comercial yet

Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, 29 December 2011 23:35 (nine years ago) link

^^

some dude (Mr. Stevenson #2), Thursday, 29 December 2011 23:38 (nine years ago) link

i think i caught that ad over the holidays and immediately proceeded to drink away the memories of it

amon, Friday, 30 December 2011 00:49 (nine years ago) link

When I first saw this commercial I lmao! Thought this dude was vanilla ice
03Gs430 3 days ago

amon, Friday, 30 December 2011 00:53 (nine years ago) link

I hate this commercial. Why is a white guy acting like a black gang banger?
tazoz626 1 week ago

amon, Friday, 30 December 2011 00:55 (nine years ago) link

hah

Cooper Chucklebutt, Friday, 30 December 2011 00:57 (nine years ago) link

i thought the Gourds song was funny

sarahel, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:23 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5YL98ObXA4

t. silaviver, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:25 (nine years ago) link

cool couple videos

Cooper Chucklebutt, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:29 (nine years ago) link

that's not as obnoxious as the swagga wagon one

sarahel, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:30 (nine years ago) link

djdave cool

t. silaviver, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:31 (nine years ago) link

im just trying to be creative why do people hate me

Cooper Chucklebutt, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:31 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4

sarahel, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:31 (nine years ago) link

http://www.fogandsmog.com/people/

t. silaviver, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:31 (nine years ago) link

getting thrust into this weird zone

є(٥_ ٥)э, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:32 (nine years ago) link

my god

destroy it

destroy it all

nice catch cuauhtemoc blanco niño (dayo), Friday, 30 December 2011 01:33 (nine years ago) link

DROP THE BOMB

EXTERMINATE THE BRUTES

nice catch cuauhtemoc blanco niño (dayo), Friday, 30 December 2011 01:33 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-8IPDR4Khc

t. silaviver, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:35 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/fNIlW.png

what a wonderful composer u r djdave

Cooper Chucklebutt, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:36 (nine years ago) link

lol u spent ur day continuing this conversation

Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Friday, 30 December 2011 01:39 (nine years ago) link

im doing important work here forks

Cooper Chucklebutt, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:40 (nine years ago) link

thank god someone is

Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Friday, 30 December 2011 01:41 (nine years ago) link

ok you have succeeded in making me want to punch djdave in the nuts

sarahel, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:41 (nine years ago) link

like i said important work

Cooper Chucklebutt, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:42 (nine years ago) link

it is conceivable i am in the same city as djdave

sarahel, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:42 (nine years ago) link

davidwiteman.com

t. silaviver, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:43 (nine years ago) link

she said "want to" not "just did"; work not that important

Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Friday, 30 December 2011 01:44 (nine years ago) link

oh thank god he moved to LA

sarahel, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:45 (nine years ago) link

David Wittman is an award winning film and commercial composer from Berkeley, California. He grew up playing drums and DJing at a young age, and moved to Los Angeles in 1992 to attend UCLA where he received a degree in Economics and Musicology.

In 1999 he began working for renowned commercial music house “Elias Arts” in Santa Monica where his scores have earned top honors in advertising including a Cannes Lion, Clio, AICP, and First Boards award for excellence in original music. He has been featured in SHOOT, Creativity, Boards, and Entertainment Weekly magazines, as well as The Wall Street Journal, Hollywood Reporter, and Huffington Post.

In 2006 he contributed to the score for director Dito Montiel’s debut “A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints” (Robert Downey Jr., Shia LaBoeuf) working alongside mentor Jonathan Elias. After the success of the film followed the scores for “Fighting” (Channing Tatum, Terrence Howard, 2009) and “The Son of No One” (Al Pacino, Ray Liotta, 2011.) In 2010 he worked with up-and-coming independent filmmaker Victoria Mahoney on her gritty debut “Yelling to the Sky” (Zoe Kravitz, Gabourey Sibide) premiering in Berlin and SXSW. He and Jimmy Haun co-wrote the score for David Arquette’s directorial debut thriller “The Tripper” back in 2006, and Wittman most recently completed the original music for Sony Pictures “Never Back Down II” directed by Michael Jai White.

In 2011 his music video “Whole Foods Parking Lot” received over 3 million hits on YouTube, and earned him appearances on the Today Show, ABC and NBC News, NPR Radio, and Bloomberg TV. His creative collective “Fog and Smog” comprised of friends and creative associates from the SF Bay Area and LA continues to release videos and work on projects together.

t. silaviver, Friday, 30 December 2011 01:45 (nine years ago) link

lol u spent ur day continuing this conversation

― Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Thursday, December 29, 2011 8:39 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink

the only thing worse than a drive-by smh is when it's coming from someone who already spent their entire morning itt

some dude (Mr. Stevenson #2), Friday, 30 December 2011 02:24 (nine years ago) link

"what's with these homies dissing my girl/why do they gotta front"

No Cuomo

uncle bannmee who can recall his past logins (dealwithit.gif), Friday, 30 December 2011 05:21 (nine years ago) link

hot damn! you mean i can loathe that song because it's racist, and not just because it's fucking annoying?

sarahel, Friday, 30 December 2011 05:34 (nine years ago) link

"what did we ever do to these guys, to make them so VIOLENT"

uncle bannmee who can recall his past logins (dealwithit.gif), Friday, 30 December 2011 16:27 (nine years ago) link

djdave2005

some dude (Mr. Stevenson #2), Friday, 30 December 2011 16:37 (nine years ago) link

lol

amon, Friday, 30 December 2011 16:38 (nine years ago) link

lol i forgot 'swagger wagon' was directed by that piece of shit observe & report guy

some dude (Mr. Stevenson #2), Friday, 30 December 2011 16:49 (nine years ago) link

i like to imagine djdave having a mixtape full of drops from jeff bridges just like the commercial

some dude (Mr. Stevenson #2), Friday, 30 December 2011 16:52 (nine years ago) link

"you could drop... a beat-beat-beat-beat-b-b-b-b-beat-beat" ::air horns::

amon, Friday, 30 December 2011 17:07 (nine years ago) link

swagger wagon dad is from upright citizens brigade

amon, Friday, 30 December 2011 17:10 (nine years ago) link

/Onion News Network

Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Friday, 30 December 2011 17:45 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3w2MTXBebg

amon, Friday, 30 December 2011 18:14 (nine years ago) link

MC ROVE

uncle bannmee who can recall his past logins (dealwithit.gif), Friday, 30 December 2011 20:04 (nine years ago) link


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