all cats are asshole cats
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:32 (fourteen years ago)
thirteen cherries do not a virgin make
the rich man sees eggs where the poor man sees hamburgers
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:33 (fourteen years ago)
the lighthouse of the soul is the agony of the moment
a candle that does not flicker cannot be trusted
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:34 (fourteen years ago)
introspectacles require no prescription
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:35 (fourteen years ago)
eyelashes are the sprokets of the face
dreams are as light as meringues and as heavy as lead
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:36 (fourteen years ago)
romance is to tungsten as opportunity is to halogen
http://bandmelectricinc.com/images/Light_Bulb_Smiling_flip.JPG
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:37 (fourteen years ago)
one may sit on a floor, but only a fool stands on a table
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:38 (fourteen years ago)
the wise woman does not count her warts until dawn
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:38 (fourteen years ago)
a mouse walks softly in the cathedral
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:39 (fourteen years ago)
a heavy heart is like a leaky colostomy bag
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:40 (fourteen years ago)
seven asses braying is a ruined month
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:41 (fourteen years ago)
I saw this one in an old newspaper cartoon:
Yes You Can't
― yes this is the real (snoball), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:42 (fourteen years ago)
fists taste the world's tears, but never swallow
― William (C), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:42 (fourteen years ago)
triple penetration - gayer than double penetration
― CaptainBurlapSax, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:43 (fourteen years ago)
Bíonn chuile dhuine lách go dtéann bó ina gharraí.
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:44 (fourteen years ago)
the floor of one man's heart is the ceiling of another's kitchen
― Julie Lagger, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:44 (fourteen years ago)
balancing a tulip on a knife's edge
― CaptainBurlapSax, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:45 (fourteen years ago)
where kind words leave no mark ironshod boots are useless
― Julie Lagger, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:46 (fourteen years ago)
savor the reed of the bleating sax
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:46 (fourteen years ago)
the want of a window cures the house of misery
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:47 (fourteen years ago)
where a family prey they will stoop
to an old goose all fresh eggs are dubious
― Julie Lagger, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:49 (fourteen years ago)
woe betide the fool who courts the woman with ashen cheeks
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:49 (fourteen years ago)
a wednesday bride will never want for clothes pegs
strike a man and you will soon see his kettle
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:50 (fourteen years ago)
only a straight road hides oncoming tractors
― Julie Lagger, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:50 (fourteen years ago)
the lonely taverner and the cannibal are seperated only by the width of an axe
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:51 (fourteen years ago)
the cantankerous man will never find satisfaction in the ostrich egg lay-by of the full moon of Pisces
― yes this is the real (snoball), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:52 (fourteen years ago)
The more shoes, the greater the walking
― ledge, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:52 (fourteen years ago)
the long road turns twice for the hedgehog
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:52 (fourteen years ago)
a badly intonated piano is no better than a wet towel flung at a speeding pensioner at midnight
― yes this is the real (snoball), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:53 (fourteen years ago)
never a wink in the eye of a donkey.
― thomasintrouble, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:53 (fourteen years ago)
the third wheel makes the wheelbarrow
― CaptainBurlapSax, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:53 (fourteen years ago)
every thyme thy counteth magpies, thy parsley increaseth
― yes this is the real (snoball), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:54 (fourteen years ago)
when the milkmaid's away, the cows speculate
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:54 (fourteen years ago)
going east on a cross-eyed yak
― CaptainBurlapSax, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:54 (fourteen years ago)
A head full of plans is like strong cheese to a blind man
― ledge, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:55 (fourteen years ago)
no amount of remorse will make a cheese roll uphill
― yes this is the real (snoball), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:55 (fourteen years ago)
a man with a turkey will never go wanting
― dayo, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:55 (fourteen years ago)
three bells ringing is worry to a bogsnorkler
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:55 (fourteen years ago)
a fell road that covers no heath.
― thomasintrouble, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:56 (fourteen years ago)
a menstrual jewess is a treasure in Rome
― remy bean in exile, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:56 (fourteen years ago)
an extinguished pipe contains no more wisdom than a damp twig being thrown at the moon
― yes this is the real (snoball), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:57 (fourteen years ago)
north winds bring undecidedness to the child
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:57 (fourteen years ago)
The sparrow tied to the branch knows only whence the wind comes
― ledge, Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:57 (fourteen years ago)
who eats on a feastday angers the tinker
― Sad Banter (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 30 November 2011 23:58 (fourteen years ago)
chicken pox before nine, you're doing fine!
― www.myislamicdream.com (step hen faps), Thursday, 15 December 2011 11:20 (fourteen years ago)
the last cat is still envied by the first estate
― Angles that bitch (Julie Lagger), Thursday, 15 December 2011 11:22 (fourteen years ago)
Consider your friends as a farmer considers the hedgerows
― ledge, Thursday, 15 December 2011 11:26 (fourteen years ago)
seven on a bench makes light the sitting
― bloating forecast: ruff swells (p much resigned to deems), Thursday, 15 December 2011 11:34 (fourteen years ago)
early to sleep, early to beep-beep
― another suggestbanite (rusty flathead screwdriver), Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:43 (fourteen years ago)
count not the peasants in the meadow, but rather the number of holes in their shoes
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:55 (fourteen years ago)
even colanders sometimes want for advice!
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:56 (fourteen years ago)
a cauliflower may be as a bedpost to a junebug, just as a widow loathes deer ticks
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:58 (fourteen years ago)
a pharmacy what never closeth is like a paintstall in April rain
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:59 (fourteen years ago)
marking one's words is sure to bring trouble, brief though it may be. marking one's words twice, however, is utmost folly
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:00 (fourteen years ago)
a chambermaid is never satisfied until last night's tales are recounted. a chamberpot is never satisfied until last night's ales are recanted.
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:02 (fourteen years ago)
what comes between men and valleys is best saved for a winter's long walk
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:03 (fourteen years ago)
much wisdom be wise, yet wiser still is the man who can hurl a dreidel to Tipperary
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:06 (fourteen years ago)
in the marketplace of ideas, it's often the smallest gnu which registers the first objection
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:07 (fourteen years ago)
if pornography were baseball, then umpires would be blind to all balks
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:09 (fourteen years ago)
when desperation sets in, a pile of dusty handkerchiefs surpass a repast of luncheon meat
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:11 (fourteen years ago)
he who spites his enemy is like a cheesecloth which has never befriended curds
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:12 (fourteen years ago)
When all signs point to yes, the body says no
― lebateauivre, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:12 (fourteen years ago)
when has a man ever said, "oh, if it weren't for my foot then Rome might answer to me"?
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:14 (fourteen years ago)
between time and a buyer's market, better to halve one's horse carriage
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:15 (fourteen years ago)
every widow has a granary, but not every newlywed once trod in quicksand
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:16 (fourteen years ago)
When reading a book don't flip the page too soon; the book reads you too
― lebateauivre, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:17 (fourteen years ago)
show me a rose and I'll show you a girl named Sam
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:17 (fourteen years ago)
A loving man will desire losing, a loving woman will desire chocolate
― lebateauivre, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:18 (fourteen years ago)
every deck of cards may be filed down, but not every gambler is a prince!
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:18 (fourteen years ago)
advice may be easily whispered to a pugilist, but in reality is best saved for his tailor
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:20 (fourteen years ago)
If you want to catch birds, slam a stick into a bush
― lebateauivre, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:20 (fourteen years ago)
shopping chastens the man who loveth to spackle
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:21 (fourteen years ago)
fair ladies are like coupons for Burger King, often portenting a ring in the alcove
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:27 (fourteen years ago)
many is the heart which pineth after a Dove Bar, few are the chocolateers willing to suck soap
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:28 (fourteen years ago)
when a man visits your house clutching a jar of Vlasic Pickles to his bosom, best to burn any unsorted laundry posthaste
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:30 (fourteen years ago)
when your Rice-a-Roni begins to boil, consider a move to Detroit
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:31 (fourteen years ago)
a man without slippers may lie contentedly forever. a man without a subscription to Vanity Fair will fail to elicit hugs even from his undertaker
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:33 (fourteen years ago)
a Belorussian playing football is like a pagan turning water into Gatorade; only the gnashing of teeth can follow
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:35 (fourteen years ago)
when in the vicinity of a Wendy's Restaurant, best to pocket one's sherbet
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:37 (fourteen years ago)
why pine for McDonald's french fries, when there are children in El Dorado with no 7-11 Taquitos?
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:39 (fourteen years ago)
in the event of Pomeranians, best to urinate outside of a Motel 6
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:41 (fourteen years ago)
there are two virtues to defecating in a Sbarro's pizza. neither of them involve anchovies
counting tampons before menstruating is like petting an igloo during a heat wave-- neither will fatten your wallet or bring gladness to your heart
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:43 (fourteen years ago)
there are only three things that would-be bartenders love more than promotional coasters-- upended swizzle sticks, henna tattoos and the Delaware state lottery
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:46 (fourteen years ago)
if you meet an Udmurt on the way to the carwash, best to put down one's fruit basket and undo one's buttons
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:51 (fourteen years ago)
15 years ago the swiftest road to misery was living in a luxury apt. building employing a concierge who moonlights as a Jay Leon impersonator. nowadays it is having Arsenio Hall as your houseguest for a month
― dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:57 (fourteen years ago)
Scattered are the remants of tuesday's ghost
― CaptainBurlapSax, Monday, 19 December 2011 03:53 (fourteen years ago)
Until you beat your chest to the rhythm of the snow queen don't shave your legs
― CaptainBurlapSax, Monday, 19 December 2011 04:13 (fourteen years ago)
ran adrift the reign of Thunder Balls
― CaptainBurlapSax, Monday, 19 December 2011 04:28 (fourteen years ago)
if you haven't been in a magazine, then you can't tell me anything about the law
― Z S, Monday, 19 December 2011 04:38 (fourteen years ago)
Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the groundWhere an old man of Aran goes around and aroundAnd his mind is a beacon in the veil of the nightFor a strange kind of fashion there's a wrong and a rightBut he'll never, never fight over you
― ledge, Monday, 19 December 2011 09:42 (fourteen years ago)
Ears are windows to the heart.
― Billy Dods, Monday, 19 December 2011 11:41 (fourteen years ago)
Whipping shitties in the field is sure to grow next autumn's yield.
― another suggestbanite (rusty flathead screwdriver), Monday, 19 December 2011 11:47 (fourteen years ago)
you can't read the leaves in a teabag
― bloating forecast: ruff swells (p much resigned to deems), Monday, 19 December 2011 14:20 (fourteen years ago)