The Salvation Army!

Craptastic.

From a friend on FB after I posted that link:

When I needed assistance in North Carolina they told me that since I was a woman I could find someone's couch to sleep on!

yeah they are terrible in pretty much every way

The Salvation Army was founded in London's East End in 1865 by one-time Methodist minister William Booth and his wife Catherine. Originally, Booth named the organization the East London Christian Mission. The name The Salvation Army developed from an incident in May 1878. William Booth was dictating a letter to his secretary George Scott Railton and said, "We are a volunteer army." Bramwell Booth heard his father and said, "Volunteer! I'm no volunteer, I'm a regular!" Railton was instructed to cross out the word "volunteer" and substitute the word "salvation". The Salvation Army was modeled after the military, with its own flag (or colours) and its own music, often with Christian words to popular and folkloric tunes sung in the pubs. Booth and the other soldiers in "God's Army" would wear the Army's own uniform, 'putting on the armour,' for meetings and ministry work. He became the "General" and his other ministers were given appropriate ranks as "officers". Other members became "soldiers".

Frickin' LARPers.

Also, LOLs:

As the Salvation Army grew rapidly in the late 19th century, it generated opposition in England. Opponents, grouped under the name of the Skeleton Army, disrupted Salvation Army meetings and gatherings, with tactics such as throwing rocks, bones, rats, and tar as well as physical assaults on members of The Salvation Army. Much of this was led by pub owners who were losing business because of the Army's opposition to alcohol and targeting of the frequenters of saloons and public houses

Not much of a secret that the Salvation Army is rigidically doctrinaire and is charitable only only toward those who go through the motions of meekly accepting their fundie doctrines. I haven't donated a penny to them since I was quite young.

http://www.daveandthomas.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/zooey-deschanel-newgirl-bells.jpg

We used to live across the street from the Salvation Army College for Officer Training (it is a thing!), which is in the middle of Boystown in Chicago. There were lots of young white people in Salvation Army uniforms coming and going from in there. Creepy.

Oh also, in that same place we were next to a grocery store so all the time from November 1 until Christmas RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRING.

More on that second quote:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeleton_Army

Yeah, I haven't donated to them for as long as I can remember due to their homophobia. There are other worthy organisations out there that help the homeless without being dicks about it.

via mike signorile on twitter, here is a $3 bill you can drop in the bucket instead:

http://www.irregulartimes.com/3dollarbill.pdf

http://www.75thstmedical.com/images/about_us/staff_at_play/ginger_salvation_army.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rvu1QMnO0Ec/TUiPKNs73CI/AAAAAAAABPw/M_94CRIX9TY/s1600/Commissioner%2BLinda%2BBond.jpg

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme.png

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media/jjr//2008/11/jobros-redkettle/jonas-brothers-salvation-army-01.jpg

http://glossynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/bell03.jpg

http://ou.media.clients.ellingtoncms.com/img/photos/2010/11/29/BellRingin.jpg

I am not into the Salvation Army. I am not into being a literal iconoclast either, but man, I would love to join the SKELETON ARMY so I could say I was in the ranks of the SKELETON ARMY. It's so Henry Selick!

So with you there!