"best" lawyer joke of these lawyer jokes

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this is worse than lxy's joke thread. friday pregrets thread

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Q: What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon? A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.	3
Q: What do lawyers use for birth control? A: Their personalities.	1
Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement? A: A whine cellar.	0
How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture? Just say "Fees!"	0
Why do lawyers wear tight ties? So their foreskin doesn't creep up and cover their face.	0

― Ö¬·¾¸Î (jergins), Saturday, 17 April 2010 01:44 (fourteen years ago) link

this just hits too close to home

― spite n ease (harbl), Saturday, 17 April 2010 02:16 (fourteen years ago) link

You can substitute a lot of professions into these jokes. The "just say fees" one would be good for bankers right now.

― jaq, Saturday, 17 April 2010 04:36 (fourteen years ago) link

Q: as the bailiff escorted the corrupt attorney to prison, in what way did he resemble a cat?
A: he cuffed up a harbl (coughed up a hairball)!

― unregistered, Saturday, 17 April 2010 07:36 (fourteen years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link

over/under 2 votes

― ugh (jergins), Friday, 30 April 2010 01:25 (fourteen years ago) link

less than three for sure

― lxy, Friday, 30 April 2010 01:59 (fourteen years ago) link

i love unregistered's joke.

― estela, Friday, 30 April 2010 04:06 (fourteen years ago) link

― ugh (jergins), Friday, 30 April 2010 06:37 (fourteen years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Friday, 30 April 2010 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

This is not a lawyer joke, but today i got some legal advice over the phone from an actual lawyer who said "instead of setting up a file and sending you a bill and all that, why don't you make a contribution to KUOW?" to which I said "sure!". Then later after we had chatted about various non-lawyerly things, like Yelp and why there are no good delis in Seattle, he changed his mind. So now I am paying him with a ripe durian.

― jaq, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 23:33 (fourteen years ago) link

Though probably I will still send some $ to KUOW too

― jaq, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 23:33 (fourteen years ago) link

lawyers can be good people

― spite n ease (harbl), Thursday, 27 May 2010 00:00 (fourteen years ago) link

aw jaq, that's very <3. except for how ripe durian is so so disgusting.

― lxy, Thursday, 27 May 2010 07:03 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm wondering how much lasting damage it might do to the car. Trying to pick one up tomorrow morning.

― jaq, Thursday, 27 May 2010 20:38 (fourteen years ago) link

seven months pass...

lawyer? but I harbly know 'er!

(groan)

― unregistered, Monday, 24 January 2011 21:22 (thirteen years ago) link

olol

― spite n ease (harbl), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 23:51 (thirteen years ago) link

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.