domestic outrages chronicle

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i found my dressing gown in a different room from where i left it being employed as a lining for a small dog's bed, having been dragged there, i suspect, by a determined brigand with a set of very small white choppers.

estela, Sunday, 21 June 2009 22:25 (ten years ago) link

I am outraged for you, estela.

tehresa, Sunday, 21 June 2009 22:44 (ten years ago) link

my dog (RIP) used to do that w/ my mom's stuff when she wasn't home because he missed her and he wanted something that smelled like her

spite n ease (harbl), Sunday, 21 June 2009 23:12 (ten years ago) link

disgraceful.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 00:00 (ten years ago) link

my husband finding a bag of unidentifiable vegetables buried under a chair cushion

smoove operator, Monday, 22 June 2009 03:23 (ten years ago) link

!

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 03:25 (ten years ago) link

uhh

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 03:40 (ten years ago) link

it was a small bag of snow peas or something. i know, disgusting

smoove operator, Monday, 22 June 2009 03:48 (ten years ago) link

shocking.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 03:49 (ten years ago) link

i just found the stove left on many hours after f. cooked some oatmeal, the house could have caught fire and harry and i might have been burned to a crisp.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 03:51 (ten years ago) link

ytth is actually a total slob, i'm not exaggerating. but i knew this before i moved here, so i have only myself to blame.

smoove operator, Monday, 22 June 2009 03:51 (ten years ago) link

If I am ever outraged domestically, I fear there will be no one to blame but myself.

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 03:52 (ten years ago) link

did harry drag the snow peas to under the cushion, do you suppose?

i am vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv glad you did not burn to a crisp, dearestela.

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:05 (ten years ago) link

+ more vvvv, actually. infinity symbol. where's max when i need him?

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:06 (ten years ago) link

max and i, we are constantly disappointing one another.

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:07 (ten years ago) link

harry would never go to any trouble over a snow pea.

i'm forever glad you are forever glad about the nonburning, darlingxy.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:21 (ten years ago) link

<#

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:24 (ten years ago) link

oopsie

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:24 (ten years ago) link

i just bared my teeth at my screen.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:25 (ten years ago) link

Hey get a room you two

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:28 (ten years ago) link

jk <3

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:29 (ten years ago) link

our room would have a large dish of jaffas in it.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:34 (ten years ago) link

the dish would be as large as the room

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:39 (ten years ago) link

maybe the dish could just BE the room?

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:40 (ten years ago) link

in that case we should expect frequent visits from smoove and ytth.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:45 (ten years ago) link

i wish tza wasn't jk and this room was real.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:46 (ten years ago) link

Well too bad I was def jk because I don't even know what jaffas are and you guys already got your little jaffa party anyway.

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:51 (ten years ago) link

jaffas are delicious orbs of smooth milk chocolate with a crispy orange candy coating, i am confident you would <3 them.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 04:59 (ten years ago) link

Oh god now I really am jealous bc orange and chocolate is one of my all time favorite combinations.

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:01 (ten years ago) link

Also back on topic I am outraged because my faucet water filter will not stay attached and now I have to return it. But at least it is an outrage of a domestic nature that is not my fault!

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:04 (ten years ago) link

dreadful.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:07 (ten years ago) link

you must be outraged

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:23 (ten years ago) link

is it a domestic outrage if an indoor daisy has to live on a back stoop, i have a feeling it might be.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:25 (ten years ago) link

wait, who is supposed to be outraged in this scenario, the daisy or me?

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:29 (ten years ago) link

any flowerphile can fill that role.

the daisy is probably just sad and confused and cold.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:34 (ten years ago) link

I, for one, am irate.

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:40 (ten years ago) link

fortunately for the daisy a plant-lover has just swept into town.

ps. it's quite warm, and has just rained, and i can't hear the daisy crying to be let in, so.

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 05:51 (ten years ago) link

what is her name?

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 06:01 (ten years ago) link

i hope it's daisy.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 06:07 (ten years ago) link

i think it is sweet pea

tehresa, Monday, 22 June 2009 06:19 (ten years ago) link

i've changed over to hoping it's timid frieda.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 10:14 (ten years ago) link

i have a new outrage: i was at the grocery store (domestic activity) and sultans of swing started playing in the background.

estela, Monday, 22 June 2009 10:19 (ten years ago) link

X(

spite n ease (harbl), Monday, 22 June 2009 10:52 (ten years ago) link

the plant-lover? her name is tehersa, of course. silly girls.

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 14:52 (ten years ago) link

i still have an annoying ringo starr song stuck in my head from my market visit this morning. i won't torture you by saying what it is.

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 14:54 (ten years ago) link

i hate dire straits with a passion, estela, so i feel yr pain

smoove operator, Monday, 22 June 2009 15:07 (ten years ago) link

my dad used to play that song so loud
childhood trauma

spite n ease (harbl), Monday, 22 June 2009 15:08 (ten years ago) link

i can't find a place to get my hair cut

spite n ease (harbl), Monday, 22 June 2009 16:41 (ten years ago) link

cut it yourself then post pix on stuff you made

lxy, Monday, 22 June 2009 17:08 (ten years ago) link

can't cut my own hair. i wish i could but it's really really thick and needs to be thinned out every time. also it is coarse. it's the worst hair ever. it's a true domestic outrage.

spite n ease (harbl), Monday, 22 June 2009 17:16 (ten years ago) link

i like this spelled-out units-of-time ago

it is midnight here, 89°F, humidity 70%, dew point 78°F, 'feels like' 101°F

i have arranged for my meagre estate to support beta dot ilxor dot com slash sandbox, with the caveat that it be hull city branded

mookieproof, Sunday, 14 August 2016 04:01 (three years ago) link

was outside around 10 last night, it was 88 heat index 97, felt so bad and oppressive. moving to canada.

spite n ease (harbl), Sunday, 14 August 2016 13:27 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

our yard and food waste pick-up has been missed at least 10 times since spring. it is outrageous.

lxy, Thursday, 6 October 2016 19:29 (two years ago) link

it's outrageous that we don't even have that

spite n ease (harbl), Thursday, 6 October 2016 23:15 (two years ago) link

we are not allowed to put yard waste in regular bins but they don't provide pickup. you have to drive it to a contracted compost site. outrageous!

toadstool might (tehresa), Friday, 7 October 2016 03:45 (two years ago) link

it is sad you all don't have curbside food and yard waste service.

it is mandatory here. however, it wasn't picked up again this week. outrageous, again.

lxy, Thursday, 13 October 2016 21:19 (two years ago) link

it's an outrage. really, who wants to collect and bag the thorny prunings a of a rose bush? this is why my roses are so unkempt (to which lxy can attest!)

toadstool might (tehresa), Thursday, 13 October 2016 22:13 (two years ago) link

but pretty!

lxy, Thursday, 13 October 2016 23:58 (two years ago) link

the sound in my wall came back so i called an electrician but then it wouldn't make the sound so now i'm afraid my house is going to burn down

toadstool might (tehresa), Friday, 14 October 2016 00:40 (two years ago) link

or my house is possessed.

toadstool might (tehresa), Friday, 14 October 2016 00:40 (two years ago) link

that was weird. did the electricians come and not hear it so they just left?

lxy, Friday, 14 October 2016 16:47 (two years ago) link

it actually happened again in the wall by the stove and the only way i could get it to stop was to turn the breaker off. when the electrician came we turned it back on and no noise! he said he can't diagnose without hearing it or tearing the wall open so call him when/if it happens again.

toadstool might (tehresa), Saturday, 15 October 2016 01:27 (two years ago) link

it is my policy to be gentle with ghosts in my house, and aggressive with electrical problems.

lxy, Monday, 17 October 2016 16:08 (two years ago) link

at least the 6th week in a row our food and yard waste wasn't collected. i got into it a little bit with jermaine on the phone just now. while listening the world's most depressing hold music, i considered the possibility of asking him if it he was okay with me getting sweary for a minute.

lxy, Thursday, 27 October 2016 18:00 (two years ago) link

our outflow goes under our sitting room and water pressure isnt always enough and.... stuff.... gets stuck under our floor and it smells like..... stuff.... for a while

esperantzen (p much resigned to deems), Thursday, 27 October 2016 20:46 (two years ago) link

oh dear.

i renewed my home warranty today because i have now been domesticated one year!

the free, biweekly local newspaper has stopped coming to me. did i offend the paper boy?

toadstool might (tehresa), Friday, 28 October 2016 02:17 (two years ago) link

mayb it was an introductory offer?

esperantzen (p much resigned to deems), Friday, 28 October 2016 04:32 (two years ago) link

nope. small town paper is free for everyone all the time! (you get what you pay for, including gumshoe reporter who likes to look for scandal in fine arts commission meetings, lol)

toadstool might (tehresa), Saturday, 29 October 2016 00:59 (two years ago) link

a bad little bush turkey has moved into our street and keeps digging up people's plants with it's long toes and about once a day it crosses our yard and comes right up to the sliding door and peers into our living room and does an expressionless little throat gobble and then wanders off again. it's quite skinny and short so you can't easily see it when it's behind a plant. i hope it stays, i love it, but the fusspots with the dead plants want it to clear off.

estela, Saturday, 29 October 2016 09:04 (two years ago) link

how wonderfully disgraceful

toadstool might (tehresa), Saturday, 29 October 2016 14:31 (two years ago) link

i hope it doesn't dig up your ficus

lxy, Monday, 31 October 2016 16:32 (two years ago) link

my ficus is in heaven, it was here for a good time not for a long time

estela, Tuesday, 1 November 2016 10:02 (two years ago) link

quality over quantity

toadstool might (tehresa), Tuesday, 1 November 2016 13:52 (two years ago) link

r.i.p. ficus, we never knew you

lxy, Tuesday, 1 November 2016 16:10 (two years ago) link

male ficus

esperantzen (p much resigned to deems), Tuesday, 1 November 2016 19:03 (two years ago) link

alas that mrs mac is no longer available

mookieproof, Wednesday, 9 November 2016 05:05 (two years ago) link

to proffer me citizenship in the wake of this domestic outrage

mookieproof, Wednesday, 9 November 2016 06:45 (two years ago) link

just remembered i can get irish citizenship hi

spite n ease (harbl), Wednesday, 9 November 2016 11:26 (two years ago) link

all talk imo

which tbf is part of the test applied

esperantzen (p much resigned to deems), Wednesday, 9 November 2016 11:51 (two years ago) link

how are we all doing?

lxy, Thursday, 10 November 2016 23:37 (two years ago) link

this hurts.

toadstool might (tehresa), Friday, 11 November 2016 16:16 (two years ago) link

i feel ok because i was feeling so bad to begin with. tired of reading ppl's thinkpieces though. more tired of the democratic party than i ever thought possible. feeling very blamey and partially self-satisfied but also scared for everyone. glad i never got a job in the federal govt. that is all.

spite n ease (harbl), Friday, 11 November 2016 19:32 (two years ago) link

had an encounter with someone who was being trolly and said can't wait to defund planned parenthood so i will be making a donation in their name after payday

spite n ease (harbl), Friday, 11 November 2016 19:35 (two years ago) link

I donated yesterday :)

toadstool might (tehresa), Saturday, 12 November 2016 01:06 (two years ago) link

trying to figure out whether i can continue being friends with someone i've known half my life and has been very generous with me but supports fascism run by 'an idiot' because HRC is 'the greatest criminal in world history'

dude is a very wealthy white man living in san francisco. and i don't think i can do it. not simply because i disagree, but because i've lost all respect for him

mookieproof, Saturday, 12 November 2016 04:02 (two years ago) link

yeah.

i'm really concerned about having to ever see a few relatives again, but i am also worried because they will suffer more than me if these promises are fulfilled. what do you do with that?

toadstool might (tehresa), Saturday, 12 November 2016 04:24 (two years ago) link

imo the political is always personal and your political beliefs are most certainly a reflection of who you are as a person. not to say that being a lefty automatically makes you a good person, but all right-wing policies seem to spring from hatred of some sort, from negativity and oppression of one or more groups.

trump is so clearly and transparently awful, insincere and corrupt, that if someone is claiming hillary is worse, then i know they're really just bigoted and emails/benghazi/clinton foundation stuff is just a convenient cover for that.

no one needs to be around toxic people, and people on the right are straight-up poison.

smoove operator, Sunday, 13 November 2016 07:10 (two years ago) link

ACLU, SPLC, Gay City Health Project, Campaign Zero, Planned Parenthood

lxy, Monday, 14 November 2016 15:56 (two years ago) link

now for the hard part: actually DO something, aside from sending twitter threads to my sisters

lxy, Monday, 14 November 2016 15:58 (two years ago) link

yes.

toadstool might (tehresa), Tuesday, 15 November 2016 01:55 (two years ago) link

outraged by ilx outage

silby, Friday, 18 November 2016 21:17 (two years ago) link

eleven months pass...

something small but vigorous is doing some loud scuttling in the roof directly above our bed, and it’s an unnerving outrage. i will not be investigating at all due to the awfulness of the possible local candidates.

estela, Friday, 3 November 2017 09:40 (one year ago) link

Oh I can sympathize but thankfully from past and not present experience

esperantzen (p much resigned to deems), Monday, 6 November 2017 23:06 (one year ago) link

five months pass...

it's ant season at my house. my counters are clean. they're marching to god knows where and carrying shit back still. this morning i was trying to dump some leftovers from the fridge and accidentally dropped them on the ground. i cleaned up as well as i could but when i came home the floor was like this
https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/review/primary_image/reviews/great-movie-triumph-of-the-will-1935/hero_EB20080626REVIEWS08911177318AR.jpg

spite n ease (harbl), Thursday, 26 April 2018 00:05 (one year ago) link

i had this a couple years ago and it was outrageous but also really impressive (and horrifying) -- there was a single line of them coming in the window at the other end of the apartment, traversing the length of it in straight lines, and climbing up a wall to a bottle of honey in the cupboard

http://hiandlois.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/182/files/2016/01/FamilyCircus.jpg

mookieproof, Thursday, 26 April 2018 01:15 (one year ago) link

we're contracted for quarterly (supposedly eco) spraying because of the outrageousness of the sugar ants. the guy said they come in looking for water (but apparently they stay for the crumbs). he also said they're called sugar ants because they smell sweet if you squash them, which he then demonstrated by squashing one and smelling it, then holding it out for me to smell, to which i was like HELL NO I AM NOT SMELLING YOUR FRESHLY DEAD ANT JESUS CHRIST DUDE MOVE YOUR HAND AWAY FROM MY FACE.

anyway, they still come in occasionally but not like they used to.

lxy, Thursday, 26 April 2018 14:53 (one year ago) link

i can't tell you the story of the pizza in zanzibar because it is so horrifying that neither jërgins nor i have ever once mentioned it since it happened.

lxy, Thursday, 26 April 2018 15:00 (one year ago) link

now is the time of year i cross my fingers and hope no bats appear in my house. ts: ants vs bats

toadstool might (tehresa), Thursday, 26 April 2018 18:50 (one year ago) link

the pizza in zanzibar is good code for unspeakable things

mookieproof, Thursday, 26 April 2018 20:02 (one year ago) link

things are much improved after i found a bait they would actually eat. 99% gone.

spite n ease (harbl), Friday, 27 April 2018 00:24 (one year ago) link


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