domestic outrages chronicle

i found my dressing gown in a different room from where i left it being employed as a lining for a small dog's bed, having been dragged there, i suspect, by a determined brigand with a set of very small white choppers.

I am outraged for you, estela.

my dog (RIP) used to do that w/ my mom's stuff when she wasn't home because he missed her and he wanted something that smelled like her

disgraceful.

my husband finding a bag of unidentifiable vegetables buried under a chair cushion

!

uhh

it was a small bag of snow peas or something. i know, disgusting

shocking.

i just found the stove left on many hours after f. cooked some oatmeal, the house could have caught fire and harry and i might have been burned to a crisp.

ytth is actually a total slob, i'm not exaggerating. but i knew this before i moved here, so i have only myself to blame.

If I am ever outraged domestically, I fear there will be no one to blame but myself.

did harry drag the snow peas to under the cushion, do you suppose?

i am vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv glad you did not burn to a crisp, dearestela.

+ more vvvv, actually. infinity symbol. where's max when i need him?

max and i, we are constantly disappointing one another.

harry would never go to any trouble over a snow pea.

i'm forever glad you are forever glad about the nonburning, darlingxy.

<#

oopsie

i just bared my teeth at my screen.

Hey get a room you two

jk <3

our room would have a large dish of jaffas in it.

the dish would be as large as the room

maybe the dish could just BE the room?

in that case we should expect frequent visits from smoove and ytth.

i wish tza wasn't jk and this room was real.

Well too bad I was def jk because I don't even know what jaffas are and you guys already got your little jaffa party anyway.

jaffas are delicious orbs of smooth milk chocolate with a crispy orange candy coating, i am confident you would <3 them.

Oh god now I really am jealous bc orange and chocolate is one of my all time favorite combinations.

Also back on topic I am outraged because my faucet water filter will not stay attached and now I have to return it. But at least it is an outrage of a domestic nature that is not my fault!

dreadful.

you must be outraged

is it a domestic outrage if an indoor daisy has to live on a back stoop, i have a feeling it might be.

wait, who is supposed to be outraged in this scenario, the daisy or me?

any flowerphile can fill that role.

the daisy is probably just sad and confused and cold.

I, for one, am irate.

fortunately for the daisy a plant-lover has just swept into town.

ps. it's quite warm, and has just rained, and i can't hear the daisy crying to be let in, so.

what is her name?

i hope it's daisy.

i think it is sweet pea

i've changed over to hoping it's timid frieda.

i have a new outrage: i was at the grocery store (domestic activity) and sultans of swing started playing in the background.

X(

the plant-lover? her name is tehersa, of course. silly girls.

i still have an annoying ringo starr song stuck in my head from my market visit this morning. i won't torture you by saying what it is.

i hate dire straits with a passion, estela, so i feel yr pain

my dad used to play that song so loud
childhood trauma

i can't find a place to get my hair cut

cut it yourself then post pix on stuff you made

can't cut my own hair. i wish i could but it's really really thick and needs to be thinned out every time. also it is coarse. it's the worst hair ever. it's a true domestic outrage.

it's ant season at my house. my counters are clean. they're marching to god knows where and carrying shit back still. this morning i was trying to dump some leftovers from the fridge and accidentally dropped them on the ground. i cleaned up as well as i could but when i came home the floor was like this
https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/review/primary_image/reviews/great-movie-triumph-of-the-will-1935/hero_EB20080626REVIEWS08911177318AR.jpg

i had this a couple years ago and it was outrageous but also really impressive (and horrifying) -- there was a single line of them coming in the window at the other end of the apartment, traversing the length of it in straight lines, and climbing up a wall to a bottle of honey in the cupboard

http://hiandlois.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/182/files/2016/01/FamilyCircus.jpg

we're contracted for quarterly (supposedly eco) spraying because of the outrageousness of the sugar ants. the guy said they come in looking for water (but apparently they stay for the crumbs). he also said they're called sugar ants because they smell sweet if you squash them, which he then demonstrated by squashing one and smelling it, then holding it out for me to smell, to which i was like HELL NO I AM NOT SMELLING YOUR FRESHLY DEAD ANT JESUS CHRIST DUDE MOVE YOUR HAND AWAY FROM MY FACE.

anyway, they still come in occasionally but not like they used to.

i can't tell you the story of the pizza in zanzibar because it is so horrifying that neither jërgins nor i have ever once mentioned it since it happened.

now is the time of year i cross my fingers and hope no bats appear in my house. ts: ants vs bats

the pizza in zanzibar is good code for unspeakable things

things are much improved after i found a bait they would actually eat. 99% gone.

my furnace stopped working on a friday night.

almost march, no worries

upper midwest outrages chronicle: we're not safe til may

a disgraceful reminder we can’t spell furnace without an fu

i am outraged that, while in-person classes at my university have been suspended through the end of the month, offices will remain open. so, those of us who are in higher-risk age brackets will continue to throw ourselves out into the great world of disease every day, while the people in the less-at-risk age brackets can stay home and away from potential contact at every turn.

the announcement of the above arrived first thing this morning, followed shortly by an announcement that a staff person working in a building up the street has tested presumptive-positive, their building has been closed, and all people who've been in contact with them should self-isolate for 14 days. but yay, let's all the rest of us keep going to germ land all the time.

i feel strongly that there's a domestic connection to my outrage, but i'm too outraged to quite get at it.

this is exactly the kind of thing my employer does. typically it is weather-related and classes are canceled for students, 95% of whom live on campus. meanwhile offices remain open and staff, who have to drive in, are told to report. indeed an outrage. (of the domestic capitalism sort?)

i am in a more fortunate place now, but i am reminded that k-12 i had exactly two school days cancelled for weather. one was because the boilers had failed; the other was because the buses couldn't climb the hill due to ice

despite the latter, we still had basketball practice

my hr department now says that we can't work remotely, despite the fact that all students have been told they have to leave campus by sunday at 3 pm. outraged is too mild a term for how i feel right now.

we are supposed to work from home when possible and have new technology to do so but i don't believe i will be able to do it, mentally. still have to go to the jail and i have bail reviews all week.

in the domestic outrages vein i had one packet of yogurt culture left in the fridge and went to all the trouble of heating the milk, etc. last night. incubated in the instant pot and woke up at 5 when it went off to move it to the fridge. i tasted it this morning and the culture must have been dead because it just tasted like cooked milk.

my new thermostat (see previous furnace outrage) does not seem to work properly, but only malfunctions like 1/5 of the time, which doesn't seem dire enough to risk inviting a technician into my home.

speaking on both mrs mac and laundry in the other thread, she left what appears to have been several thousand euro worth of loo roll in her jeans when putting them in the basket the last day and was outrageously obvious about not thinking it was *that* big a deal when it destroyed the 40 degree dark wash

she says it served me right for throwing the teabags in the bin from across the kitchen and always splashing the wall (the walls are her job) but it's clearly not comparable imco

the main light fixture in my kitchen isn’t working. whether this is due to dumb wiring on the part of the previous owners, or bad wiring choices on the part of the current owner who is currently isolated in the house is yet to be determined

probably the latter

E

came home this evening

E

feel for my amp

E

oh you know bout that man

E

wait my amps not there

A

came home this evenin

A

oh just feelin for my amp

E

E

B

my amps in the closet now

A

until this is all over

E

oh you know this is not open for discussion

E (quietly, because you have no amp)

part of my closet system fell off the wall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAB8jcFsStY

the mosquitos have arrived in minnesota.

mosquito season in minnesota, pretty much the yearly apocalypse

unicorn shower curtain girl has taken over a redecoration of the garden shed for teenage hosting purposes she will not iirc be lisa franking that shit to the maxxx tho

a missed opportunity imo

the hot water heater died today so now i get to have that replaced.

jesus, rains/pours. sorry for all of this, tehersa.

<3

because this year has not been special enough, my sewer line is now backed up. (luckily caught before my basement totally flooded). 🥴

sorry t, the whole world is like a backed up sewer line but that doesn’t make a domestic outrage not outrageous.

ugh, so sorry about that. I have had one small backup and one that was... less small. I should be clearing tree roots out of my sewer line every year or two, this was (I think?) year three and was going to have it done in the spring except it wasn’t a good time

crossing my fingers the toilet water doesn’t swell from the floor

our new neighbour, who has a shaved head and bold tattoos and rides a harley, used his leaf blower six times yesterday and then again this morning. wtf. what a fusspot. it’s the worst sound in the world. also he just started it up again right now while i was mid-complaint.

i will totally kick his ass

yay, i’ll chew gum and rizzo cheer you on

we have had murraya growing in our yard for years but never learned how to spell it.

Mar dhea ye have id say

furnace broken. part unavailable until ????

this happened to me last month. i got a new furnace a year ago. the control board died and you could not buy another compatible board anywhere. under normal circumstances it would be available and cost like $100. i had to buy another furnace.

!!!! harbl, i am so sorry!

my furnace is like 30 years old so i got a home warranty. they just called and think they will be able to come with the part tomorrow afternoon. that will be such a relief as my thermostat read 39° this morning.

thankful for my sunny porch, as is the dog.

sorry to hear about the furnace woes. I hope things are up and running now!

toasty once more ^_^

yay!

never in my life have i gone to a neighbour’s house for a nice afternoon visit and then when they weren’t looking sneaked upstairs and peed on their hallway carpet, but that’s exactly what the little dog from next door just did and then she had the cheek to seem glum and bored during the cleanup

she loves you deeply, sort of a “you break it, you buy it” mentality

cheekiness is on a spectrum with godliness

you are speaking estela’s language

i love cheeky rotten little animals, all of them