domestic outrages chronicle

i found my dressing gown in a different room from where i left it being employed as a lining for a small dog's bed, having been dragged there, i suspect, by a determined brigand with a set of very small white choppers.

I am outraged for you, estela.

my dog (RIP) used to do that w/ my mom's stuff when she wasn't home because he missed her and he wanted something that smelled like her

disgraceful.

my husband finding a bag of unidentifiable vegetables buried under a chair cushion

!

uhh

it was a small bag of snow peas or something. i know, disgusting

shocking.

i just found the stove left on many hours after f. cooked some oatmeal, the house could have caught fire and harry and i might have been burned to a crisp.

ytth is actually a total slob, i'm not exaggerating. but i knew this before i moved here, so i have only myself to blame.

If I am ever outraged domestically, I fear there will be no one to blame but myself.

did harry drag the snow peas to under the cushion, do you suppose?

i am vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv glad you did not burn to a crisp, dearestela.

+ more vvvv, actually. infinity symbol. where's max when i need him?

max and i, we are constantly disappointing one another.

harry would never go to any trouble over a snow pea.

i'm forever glad you are forever glad about the nonburning, darlingxy.

<#

oopsie

i just bared my teeth at my screen.

Hey get a room you two

jk <3

our room would have a large dish of jaffas in it.

the dish would be as large as the room

maybe the dish could just BE the room?

in that case we should expect frequent visits from smoove and ytth.

i wish tza wasn't jk and this room was real.

Well too bad I was def jk because I don't even know what jaffas are and you guys already got your little jaffa party anyway.

jaffas are delicious orbs of smooth milk chocolate with a crispy orange candy coating, i am confident you would <3 them.

Oh god now I really am jealous bc orange and chocolate is one of my all time favorite combinations.

Also back on topic I am outraged because my faucet water filter will not stay attached and now I have to return it. But at least it is an outrage of a domestic nature that is not my fault!

dreadful.

you must be outraged

is it a domestic outrage if an indoor daisy has to live on a back stoop, i have a feeling it might be.

wait, who is supposed to be outraged in this scenario, the daisy or me?

any flowerphile can fill that role.

the daisy is probably just sad and confused and cold.

I, for one, am irate.

fortunately for the daisy a plant-lover has just swept into town.

ps. it's quite warm, and has just rained, and i can't hear the daisy crying to be let in, so.

what is her name?

i hope it's daisy.

i think it is sweet pea

i've changed over to hoping it's timid frieda.

i have a new outrage: i was at the grocery store (domestic activity) and sultans of swing started playing in the background.

X(

the plant-lover? her name is tehersa, of course. silly girls.

i still have an annoying ringo starr song stuck in my head from my market visit this morning. i won't torture you by saying what it is.

i hate dire straits with a passion, estela, so i feel yr pain

my dad used to play that song so loud
childhood trauma

i can't find a place to get my hair cut

cut it yourself then post pix on stuff you made

can't cut my own hair. i wish i could but it's really really thick and needs to be thinned out every time. also it is coarse. it's the worst hair ever. it's a true domestic outrage.

i like this spelled-out units-of-time ago

it is midnight here, 89°F, humidity 70%, dew point 78°F, 'feels like' 101°F

i have arranged for my meagre estate to support beta dot ilxor dot com slash sandbox, with the caveat that it be hull city branded

was outside around 10 last night, it was 88 heat index 97, felt so bad and oppressive. moving to canada.

our yard and food waste pick-up has been missed at least 10 times since spring. it is outrageous.

it's outrageous that we don't even have that

we are not allowed to put yard waste in regular bins but they don't provide pickup. you have to drive it to a contracted compost site. outrageous!

it is sad you all don't have curbside food and yard waste service.

it is mandatory here. however, it wasn't picked up again this week. outrageous, again.

it's an outrage. really, who wants to collect and bag the thorny prunings a of a rose bush? this is why my roses are so unkempt (to which lxy can attest!)

but pretty!

the sound in my wall came back so i called an electrician but then it wouldn't make the sound so now i'm afraid my house is going to burn down

or my house is possessed.

that was weird. did the electricians come and not hear it so they just left?

it actually happened again in the wall by the stove and the only way i could get it to stop was to turn the breaker off. when the electrician came we turned it back on and no noise! he said he can't diagnose without hearing it or tearing the wall open so call him when/if it happens again.

it is my policy to be gentle with ghosts in my house, and aggressive with electrical problems.

at least the 6th week in a row our food and yard waste wasn't collected. i got into it a little bit with jermaine on the phone just now. while listening the world's most depressing hold music, i considered the possibility of asking him if it he was okay with me getting sweary for a minute.

our outflow goes under our sitting room and water pressure isnt always enough and.... stuff.... gets stuck under our floor and it smells like..... stuff.... for a while

oh dear.

i renewed my home warranty today because i have now been domesticated one year!

the free, biweekly local newspaper has stopped coming to me. did i offend the paper boy?

mayb it was an introductory offer?

nope. small town paper is free for everyone all the time! (you get what you pay for, including gumshoe reporter who likes to look for scandal in fine arts commission meetings, lol)

a bad little bush turkey has moved into our street and keeps digging up people's plants with it's long toes and about once a day it crosses our yard and comes right up to the sliding door and peers into our living room and does an expressionless little throat gobble and then wanders off again. it's quite skinny and short so you can't easily see it when it's behind a plant. i hope it stays, i love it, but the fusspots with the dead plants want it to clear off.

how wonderfully disgraceful

i hope it doesn't dig up your ficus

my ficus is in heaven, it was here for a good time not for a long time

quality over quantity

r.i.p. ficus, we never knew you

male ficus

alas that mrs mac is no longer available

to proffer me citizenship in the wake of this domestic outrage

just remembered i can get irish citizenship hi

all talk imo

which tbf is part of the test applied

how are we all doing?

this hurts.

i feel ok because i was feeling so bad to begin with. tired of reading ppl's thinkpieces though. more tired of the democratic party than i ever thought possible. feeling very blamey and partially self-satisfied but also scared for everyone. glad i never got a job in the federal govt. that is all.

had an encounter with someone who was being trolly and said can't wait to defund planned parenthood so i will be making a donation in their name after payday

I donated yesterday :)

trying to figure out whether i can continue being friends with someone i've known half my life and has been very generous with me but supports fascism run by 'an idiot' because HRC is 'the greatest criminal in world history'

dude is a very wealthy white man living in san francisco. and i don't think i can do it. not simply because i disagree, but because i've lost all respect for him

yeah.

i'm really concerned about having to ever see a few relatives again, but i am also worried because they will suffer more than me if these promises are fulfilled. what do you do with that?

imo the political is always personal and your political beliefs are most certainly a reflection of who you are as a person. not to say that being a lefty automatically makes you a good person, but all right-wing policies seem to spring from hatred of some sort, from negativity and oppression of one or more groups.

trump is so clearly and transparently awful, insincere and corrupt, that if someone is claiming hillary is worse, then i know they're really just bigoted and emails/benghazi/clinton foundation stuff is just a convenient cover for that.

no one needs to be around toxic people, and people on the right are straight-up poison.

ACLU, SPLC, Gay City Health Project, Campaign Zero, Planned Parenthood

now for the hard part: actually DO something, aside from sending twitter threads to my sisters

yes.

outraged by ilx outage

something small but vigorous is doing some loud scuttling in the roof directly above our bed, and it’s an unnerving outrage. i will not be investigating at all due to the awfulness of the possible local candidates.

Oh I can sympathize but thankfully from past and not present experience

it's ant season at my house. my counters are clean. they're marching to god knows where and carrying shit back still. this morning i was trying to dump some leftovers from the fridge and accidentally dropped them on the ground. i cleaned up as well as i could but when i came home the floor was like this
https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/review/primary_image/reviews/great-movie-triumph-of-the-will-1935/hero_EB20080626REVIEWS08911177318AR.jpg

i had this a couple years ago and it was outrageous but also really impressive (and horrifying) -- there was a single line of them coming in the window at the other end of the apartment, traversing the length of it in straight lines, and climbing up a wall to a bottle of honey in the cupboard

http://hiandlois.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/182/files/2016/01/FamilyCircus.jpg

we're contracted for quarterly (supposedly eco) spraying because of the outrageousness of the sugar ants. the guy said they come in looking for water (but apparently they stay for the crumbs). he also said they're called sugar ants because they smell sweet if you squash them, which he then demonstrated by squashing one and smelling it, then holding it out for me to smell, to which i was like HELL NO I AM NOT SMELLING YOUR FRESHLY DEAD ANT JESUS CHRIST DUDE MOVE YOUR HAND AWAY FROM MY FACE.

anyway, they still come in occasionally but not like they used to.

i can't tell you the story of the pizza in zanzibar because it is so horrifying that neither jërgins nor i have ever once mentioned it since it happened.

now is the time of year i cross my fingers and hope no bats appear in my house. ts: ants vs bats

the pizza in zanzibar is good code for unspeakable things

things are much improved after i found a bait they would actually eat. 99% gone.