CHICAGO: If Hepatitis C Were Attacking Your Face Instead of Your Liver You'd Be Doing Something About It

Oh, also my car sprung a gas leak and is staying in MI for a month. I drove my mom's car back. I hate my car.

Ah, nothing like that after-lunch cup of coffee.

I forgot to go get coffee! Dammit.

Just as well. The Free Terrible Work Coffee is terrible. I'll just wait and get a good cup on the way to class.

ashtrays and assholes.

I haven't gone back to my local coffee shop since that incident with the cleaning solution in my coffee a few weeks ago, so I'm sticking to free mediocre work coffee. There must be a Better Way.

Cleaning solution? Did you already tell us about this?

yeah, no java for me either, i'm so groggy i'm starting to feel like i've been poisoned by carbon monoxide.

i miss coffee (don't drink it anymore), but i can't stand that roastaroma tea. bleah.

amanda otm about tea being all comforting and cozy.

Yeah, whatever they use to clean the coffee pots hadn't been properly rinsed off or whatever. I didn't really notice until I drank most of my coffee and it was cooling down but I had this overpowering chemical taste in my mouth until the next afternoon, it was gross.

john, i actually liked diet coca cola zero or whatever it is called before i gave up soda. it tastes like the diet coke in china which tastes better than diet coke here.

A QUESTION

How should I address this in my cover letter? I have really no experience in Photoshop, GoLive or InDesign, but I have many other skills and such that qualify me for this job.

"Knowledge and experience in website design and maintenance, and graphic design, and database management, as well as Adobe GoLive, InDesign and Photoshop or comparable is strongly recommended."

should i even mention it? say that i'm a quick learner? express a willingness to learn these programs on my own time outside of work?

That half-sugar coke was pretty good, it was nice and fizzy and actually way more thirst-quenching than the full version.

xpost Well, I hate to seem like a spoiled sport, but do you know anything about Photoshop? GoLive? InDesign? Database management? Graphic design? I mean, that's a whole job right there. What else do they want you to do?

did half-sugar coke have another sweetener in it?

i'm having a hard time focusing today . . .

Kenan, that's one sentence of a lengthy job description and Jesse has database management experience.

"STRONGLY RECOMMENDED," GODDAMN YOU.

Position Description:
This position is an integral part of xxx’s Publications Department. The Directory Coordinator has several important responsibilities, including but not limited to: managing the day-to-day operations of the Chicago Area HIV Services Directory (both in print and online) and development and maintenance of information resources.

Desired Qualifications:
Applicant should possess at least a high school diploma and Associate’s degree, with strong communications, interpersonal, written and oral skills. Must also have a broad understanding of computers and computer software, including Microsoft Word, Access, Outlook, and Excel. Knowledge and experience in website design and maintenance, and graphic design, and database management, as well as Adobe GoLive, InDesign and Photoshop or comparable is strongly recommended.

My strategy: Lie your ass off.

xpost "or comparable" ... know anything that is comparable? Dreamweaver?

NO.

Just curious!

I think that since it's only recommended, but not necessarily required, it might be best to not lie, trump up the experience you do have, and express a keen interest in learning.

Dear Chicago, I need a cut & color BADLY but am close to broke. I love l3anne, but I don't think I can afford her and still have money for christmas pressies. Where can I get a decent head o' highlights for somewhat cheap, aside from trying to do it myself?

Sincerely,
Looking Splotchy

Sarah, maybe try Big Hair? That's where Robin R gets her hair cut and I think it's cheap.

yeah, big hair. on roscoe just west of damen.

Oh, *west* of Damen? I thought it closed -- guess it just relocated.

Why did you post a lavalife ad, John?

Urgh. I can't decide. I do like Leanne. Also, I am a Miss Priss because I like having my hair washed and all those little extra posh things. Bbut also, maybe I just can't afford my own standards. Also, Nick gets his hair cut at Big Hair. Bbut also, he's a boy with a basic boy haircut. I think I need to sleep on this one.

Here are some justifications you might be able to use:

1. You only get your hair cut two or three times a year.
2. It's better to go to an expensive stylist you trust than end up with a crappy, cheap haircut that you'll have to pay the expensive stylist to fix anyway.
3. You don't want to make L3anne cry.
4. It's not like you get manicures/massages/pedicures/facials so this if your one splurge is getting a good haircut from someone that you like and trust, NO BIGGIE.
5. A good hair cut is the foundation for a polished and professional look.

It's true. That and the shoes.

DEAR JOHN

whore  /hɔr, hoʊr or, often, hʊr/ Pronunciation Key -

Show Spelled Pronunciation[hawr, hohr or, often, hoor

hor‧ri‧ble  /ˈhɔrəbəl, ˈhɒr-/ Pronunciation Key -

Show Spelled Pronunciation[hawr-uh-buhl, hor-]

Of course, you might also seek other employment.

Ha ha. Thanks, Jenny.

Furthermore:

[aw] all, or, talk, lost, saw

My hair is conservative. xpost

my hair is libertarian with socialist leanings.

Anytime, Sarah.

Oh and here is a horrible story, in case the justifications weren't enough:

I used to pony up to get a good haircut at a nice salon in Atlanta but then I lost my job so I went to a cheaper place and got a haircut for free by the shampoo guy who was going to hair school and he gave me a TERRIBLE haircut that sent me down the road to haircut ruin that lasted for TWO YEARS. Now you can have my beloved Valerie B when you pry her off my cold, dead hair.

JESSE there were a lot of boxes in your post, so I don't know what your point is, but I won't let that dissuade me.

I believe we've been over this, actually.

HORRIBLE: h[O with a dot over it]r-[schwa]-b[schwa]l
WHORE: h[O with a dot over it]r

where [O with a dot over it] = like the AW in LAW

There are alternate pronunciations for each word:

HORRIBLE: h[A with a diaresis]r-[schwa]-b[schwa]l
WHORE: h[U with a dot over it]r

where [A with a diaresis] = like the O in MOP or the A in MAR
and [U with a dot over it]r = like the OO in FOOT

But these are both listed second in Webster's, which leads me to stand firm in my belief that HORRIBLE and WHORE have the same vowel sound.

I once got a tiny bangs haircut from a strip mall. Seriously, my bangs were about two inches long and cut straight across. It was NOT a good look for me. Also, it wasn't something you could fix with a little work. I cried for a long time. This happened several years ago and it still gives me nightmares.

So I was just talking to Jeff on the phone and as I was hanging up, I said, "I LOVE YOU!" and this lady I work with was in the office and she said, "AWWWW! That's so sweet! Does he have a brother?" meaning like for her and I thought that was kind of illogical because she only heard my end of the conversation and for all she knew, Jeff's response could have been, "MY BROTHER AND I VOW BLOOD REVENGE ON ALL WHO DARE TO LOVE US" or something.

Which is crazy because 1) Jeff is an only child and 2) that was his exact response.

I would like a new hairdo, but my hair refuses to cooperate with anyone or anything, least of all my wishes.

Your hair is anarchist.

Screw it! (meaning my flash of a rational thought that I shouldn't spend money on my hair right now) I have an appt with L3anne this Saturday. I mean, for starters, shouldn't my hair be fantastic for the show next Monday and then the Christmas parties and then seeing my fam? Done and done.

My point is:

horrible = [hawr-uh-buhl, hor-]

[aw] = all, or, talk, lost, saw

So unless "all" or "talk" can be pronounced with the same "o" sound as "whore," then I and the East-Coasters stand validated by dictionary.com.

Peace in the Middle East FFS!

In which case, Jenny, you're taking an awful risk! You brave thing, you.

(XP)

I just realized that somehow, some miraculous way, I have managed to take no position on the "horrible" issue at all. No reason to break a streak.

My hair is a wildly unstable military dictatorship. My people are malnourished, and martial law must be enforced to prevent rioting.