~~~SANDBOX 77~~~

so sorry, dude :(

But the emotional-level panic that comes from FEAR that you made a bad choice and now you can't take it back...tell that to fuck off. You made the right choice.

this is OTM and I need to remind myself of this more often tbh.

JF you're an A+++ awesome dude and you did what needed to be done - totally not a life ruiner.

thanks friends. I still feel like shit, but I'm confident the right thing just happened.

Aren't you glad you didn't move to San Diego?

Or quit your AWESOME JOB?

Considering that's where it was headed a few months down the road, yes. Very much yes.

I was a little worried for you, tbh.

Not a lot, just a little.

I'm most comfortable being alone, I think. Not in a sad pitiful way. I just enjoy not having obligations or responsibilities or having to keep another person satisfied and happy and being able to do what I want when I want. I realize this isn't an admirable trait, and I thought she might be the one snap me out of it, but it clearly wasn't going to happen.

Really, I'm an asshole tbh. And I feel like one. But each of my past few relationships has taught me a few things that are important to know (about myself) for future reference. Unfortunately, I had to be the one to break another person's heart this time instead of someone breaking mine.

I just enjoy not having obligations or responsibilities or having to keep another person satisfied and happy and being able to do what I want when I want.

STOP LIVING ALL OVER MY LIFE, BRO. This isn't admirable or not-admirable, imo, it's just a time when this is how you/I/people feel. And I believe it's harmful to think that being the opposite way is some kind of moral good, cos the implied guilt can throw you off your game in terms of trusting yrself and yr instincts.

But luckily you were on top of your instincts today and that's good! Live through it and feel it and everything, but don't beat yourself up? Just a request.

Ugh if anyone tries to make you feel bad for having a preference for being alone, tell them to fuck off - laurel otm! It is not a trait with any morality attached to it, and you don't owe anyone a relationship. You do, however, owe it to yourself to be true to your natural inclinations.

I'm glad I have y'all at ILX (sandbox) to try and make me feel better today. The guys in my office are all "damn dude, sucks" before immediately going back to talking about work shit and watching youtubes (which is probably what everyone here is doing too, but I can't SEE it with my own eyes).

<3 to you all

did this realization only come to you after she came to visit?

It had been cropping up on occasion, but I tried to suppress it as simple doubts about things (having a kid, relocating, etc) but it was apparent to me almost the moment she arrived on Sunday that this trip wasn't going to end well. Skyping with someone every night isn't the same AT ALL as being around that person all the time.

Oh Johnny I'm so bummed for you.

The realization alone of, 'oh wait she isn't right' is hard enough, harder still to stare it down and tell her, hardest of all to do it and know you did the right thing. You did, and I know you feel awful...but having her tied to you while you tried not to feel uncomfortable would have been worse.

And you are so right. LDR's are one thing, but how you physically share the space together matters the most, and it is the thing you cannot ignore if it's already an issue.

Love ya, dude, and I hate that you have to feel so shitty. <3

thx vg

By dose is gold.

man, sending good vibes your way JF :/

-my free NYT subscript is running out - anybody got leads on a good cheap way to get a digital subscript?

looool

yeah, i got the same message today

It's spam!!!!

I got it, and then got another msg later retracting it with an apology, if that makes any sense.

yeah - I forgot which free offer I signed up for (some cadillac thing) and I can't remember for how long that lasts. worried that my NYT is running out :/

Wait not spam. A mistake, I think, per Gwen Ifill:

talk about oops. @nyt spam wasn't. it was sent by mistake to 8m instead of 300 pp. (h/t @amychozick)

Whoa JF dude, so sorry to hear this man..

But like others already said Paul, you are not a "life ruiner"... You handled on instinct maybe, at a do or die moment, and I don't think that can be bad. I relate to the crushed-by-piano feeling though :-/ But that will pass.

Sorry dude, hug and hang in there

jf <3

^^^ We're here for you.

Ended up not going to the flea market; I couldn't wake up my husband in time to get there. (However, it was the best sleep he's had in weeks.) We're going to try to get to a different one on New Year's Eve morning. We did find a big bag of cans behind the shed--we'll take that and some more copper that we got off of the house in tomorrow.

Just ordered $155 worth of groceries for 108 bucks--thank u for promotions, grocery service that rhymes with mesh protect!!

- had lunch at chinese place we often eat at in the evenings
- lunch = different menu, different staff, different tablecloths
- felt like we stumbled into a parallel universe

- washing machine was making horrible noise, minimum repair callout charge was £80
- groped around inside drum, pulled out tiny (tiny!) magnet that was stuck to the wall
- machine now (fingers crossed) making only the normal noises, without spending £80
- no idea where the magnet came from, hope it was not an important component of anything

- best wishes to you, jf

agh. I give up. What rhymes with "mesh protect"?

fresh? select? reject? erect?

Flesh Erect

Creche Reject

David Koresh

That's it. David Koresh delivered a truck load of sale groceries to Laurel.

he lives!

I hope she got some Waco Bits.

Oh. We don't have that brand here. I don't think. We have one that rhymes with glee squad.

best jaymc joke in some time!

We have Pubix--Where Fucking is a Pleasure.

Superfresh - Stupidfresh
Acme - Smackme
King Sooper - King Stupid

Piggly Wiggly and Harris Teeter kind of write themselves imo.

When I worked at Food Lion we got a shipment of bags that said Food Loin.

irl lols over here

You guys have supermarket chains called Piggly Wiggly and Harris Teeter? o_0

In the southern US, yup.

http://pulse.ncpolicywatch.org/wp-content/uploads/Piggly_Wiggly.jpg

We had Piggly Wiggly in northern Minnesota.

http://agentscott.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/harris-teeter.jpg

That lady looks sad to be going into Harris Teeter.