I have met no ilxors irl. The nearest approach to a meet-up came was when I attended a poetry reading by casuistry here in pdx, but he was so mobbed by well-wishers afterwards that I didn't wade through the crowd to introduce myself. I find it difficult to meet new people voluntarily. They might expect me to be not dull.
― Aimless, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 20:59 (twelve years ago) link
I picked my new username bcz it was all the rage and I thought it was an obvious enough spoonerism, but I don't post that much on either ILX so I guess maybe people are seeing my name and (having never noticed my real-ILX persona) wondering if I might be someone they should know about. but anyway
hi, I'm (a passing) spacecadet
and I hope real-ILX comes back because I am pretty sick of this stupid username already
― brony island baby (case spudette), Tuesday, 27 December 2011 21:04 (twelve years ago) link
i've noticed - and it took me a minute to figure out - which is about as much time as i feel like devoting to the issue at this point.
― sarahel, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 21:06 (twelve years ago) link
Should be "a sassing (case spudette)," perhaps?
― illegal crew member (C.K. Dexter Holland), Tuesday, 27 December 2011 21:08 (twelve years ago) link
I picked up on the spoonerism.
Aimless, I must have you mistaken with someone. But who? A former Chicagoan, that I know.
― Sandbox Jesse, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 21:37 (twelve years ago) link
oh, spacecadet, i did not realise who you were! mostly cos i thought yr sbox username was "casa spudette".
― paid, famous and sad (c sharp major), Tuesday, 27 December 2011 22:17 (twelve years ago) link
I know one ILX dude who respects boundaries by not posting here even though it kills him. (Hi!!! You rock, ILX dude! xoxo)
― wore glasses and said things (thejenny), Tuesday, December 27, 2011 5:01 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink
MY FUCKING FINGERS WERE FLIPPING OUT WHEN I READ THIS. I WAS LIKE ME! ME! IT'S MEEEEE!!!!!
The were previously flipping out when I read Jagweed Holland's posts.
― Sandbox Jesse, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:07 (twelve years ago) link
I don't think it was you.
― Jeff, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:11 (twelve years ago) link
I made a thread. Girls thread cont.
― Sandbox Jesse, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:12 (twelve years ago) link
Oops, not that one.
Re girls only
This is getting messy.
― Sandbox Jesse, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:13 (twelve years ago) link
It wasn't you specifically, although you (and Jeff) also deserve credit for your boundary respecting skillz.
― wore glasses and said things (thejenny), Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:13 (twelve years ago) link
Oh. I bet I know who it was.
― Sandbox Jesse, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:15 (twelve years ago) link
Jenny, I think you're posting from the toilet.
― Sandbox Jesse, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:16 (twelve years ago) link
oh, spacecadet, i did not realise who you were!
― paid, famous and sad (c sharp major), Tuesday, December 27, 2011 10:17 PM (59 minutes ago)
same
i thought of 'a spassing basscadet' a while ago, too
― nakhchivan, Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:18 (twelve years ago) link
My cube at work but there are definitely similarities.
― wore glasses and said things (thejenny), Tuesday, 27 December 2011 23:19 (twelve years ago) link
-just heard journey's don't stop believin on a chinese 'you've got talent!' show
wish the sandbox had a don't stop believin thread
― nice catch cuauhtemoc blanco niño (dayo), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 00:55 (twelve years ago) link
I dunno why I used 'journey' there everybody already knows
On mah holidays, had every intent today of going to the plant nursery for some more supplies. So far have sat on couch eating xmas leftovers sandwiches, its now lunchtime and Ive done nowt. Gar.
― Leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it. (Trayce), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 01:19 (twelve years ago) link
everybody already knows
some of us are slow on the uptake
― Aimless, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 01:44 (twelve years ago) link
Burned trash in the burn pit (yes, I'm that far out in the country) and got a few large items ready to sell at the flea market tomorrow. We're hoping to get enough money to pay a bill or two and maybe some champagne for New Year's.
― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 02:30 (twelve years ago) link
We had a burn pit when I was growing up but we called it a "sump hole."
― wore glasses and said things (thejenny), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 13:35 (twelve years ago) link
Amateurist?
― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 13:49 (twelve years ago) link
Yes, that's him.
We had a burn barrel. That was awesome as a kid bc we would blow up aerosol cans. And it was fun to hold a burning plastic bottle on a stick - the molten plastic dripped off with a thrilling zzzripp sound. All fun and games until a glob of melting Downy jug landed on the back of my hand.
― Sandbox Jesse, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 14:31 (twelve years ago) link
Last night I broke up with a girl I was planning to marry, all because I don't think I want to be married...to anyone ever. Now I'm having regrets, but I'm 99.9% certain I did the right thing now before we starting throwing a bunch of money into planning and one of us relocates to where the other one lives. The bad part is that I'm at work right now and she's sitting at home in my apartment probably either steaming mad or crying her eyes out and nothing I can say or do will make this any better and her plane ticket home isn't until next Tuesday morning and she doesn't (and I don't) have the money to change her flight to an earlier date and...FUCK...I can't communicate with her with any semblance of forethought or compassion. I just blurted it out because I knew it was now or never and I'm a fucking asshole.
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:48 (twelve years ago) link
i'm really sorry, johnny.
― Z S, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:49 (twelve years ago) link
woah! i thought this girl was 'the one'? is it a about the actual marriage part or the lifetime commitment? (sorry, nosy)
― smoove operator, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:50 (twelve years ago) link
and i'm sorry you have to be at work right now, with that going on at home. that's really difficult. you'll get through this (and so will she).
― Z S, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:51 (twelve years ago) link
omg! wow. you're not an asshole.
― league of women voters, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:51 (twelve years ago) link
She just texted me that she's booked an 8am flight for tomorrow, her one friend in Atlanta is coming to pick her up, and I'll never see her again.
WTF I AM A LIFE RUINER
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:53 (twelve years ago) link
you are not a life ruiner
― league of women voters, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:55 (twelve years ago) link
what you did was probably the right thing for you, and you trusted yourself to know that...right? you don't seem like an impetuous person or someone who does things for attention/drama queening.
ehhh i don't think you are an asshole for choosing not-ruining your own life over someone else's - and if you'd gone ahead with things, even though you weren't feeling right about it, just bc you knew it was what she wanted, you would have ended up actually ruining her life way more.
― smoove operator, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:55 (twelve years ago) link
You're not a life ruiner. Winter holiday ruiner at maximum, but sometimes that can't be helped.
― wore glasses and said things (thejenny), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 15:59 (twelve years ago) link
yeah, from the little that i know, it sounds like you did a good thing, jf - you did something that's hard and painful now because it will make both of you happier in the long run.
― Z S, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 16:00 (twelve years ago) link
Also I am relieved for both of you that she changed her flight. Her sticking around until Tues would have done neither of you any good. Shit, it made me tense up with empathetic anxiety and I don't even know you.
― wore glasses and said things (thejenny), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 16:01 (twelve years ago) link
Aw shit, JF. I'm so sorry. But yeah, it sounds like you did the right thing to spare the most emotional (and financial) upheaval in the long run.
i don't think you are an asshole for choosing not-ruining your own life over someone else's - and if you'd gone ahead with things, even though you weren't feeling right about it, just bc you knew it was what she wanted, you would have ended up actually ruining her life way more.
This is OTM.
― Illia Rump (emil.y), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 16:12 (twelve years ago) link
and merciful too
― league of women voters, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 16:14 (twelve years ago) link
I broke up with a girl I was planning to marry
The two halves of that sentence don't carry equal weight. :(
I am sorry for the deep hurt and horrid mess that this sentence necessarily implies. But unless you enter a marriage with a strong foundation of optimism and enthusiasm, the chances it will work well are very slim - at best.
The only good word I can say about all the guilt and sorrow you are likely to be feeling today is that you will certainly never make this mistake again, and you are absolutely correct in your belief that, while this outcome was pretty wretched, it was preferable to almost any of the alternatives.
― Aimless, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 16:24 (twelve years ago) link
Don't worry yourself to death, tho. You'll get over it. :-)
― Aimless, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 16:26 (twelve years ago) link
I'm so sorry about this, I know how LDRs can be when they go bad and it's very hurtful.
One caution is not to confuse grief with sentimentality, though, because when you're apart you spend a lot of time getting really intense about a *possibility*, and giving up the possibility is so much harder than not seeing a person again. It didn't work out, you can grieve for that in later days (and sometimes you surprise yourself by not feeling any grief at all). But the emotional-level panic that comes from FEAR that you made a bad choice and now you can't take it back...tell that to fuck off. You made the right choice.
― OH GNUS (Pyth), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 16:32 (twelve years ago) link
I ended up coming home and waiting with her for her friend to arrive. It was mostly in silence, uncomfortable heavy silence. The few times words were spoken, they were defensive, bruised heart, and sorrowful words...by both of us, but mostly by her. She just walked out my door two minutes ago and we said a polite goodbye to each other. Now I feel like I've just been crushed by a piano.
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:25 (twelve years ago) link
so sorry, dude :(
― smoove operator, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:32 (twelve years ago) link
But the emotional-level panic that comes from FEAR that you made a bad choice and now you can't take it back...tell that to fuck off. You made the right choice.
this is OTM and I need to remind myself of this more often tbh.
JF you're an A+++ awesome dude and you did what needed to be done - totally not a life ruiner.
― macarena of time (step hen faps), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:36 (twelve years ago) link
thanks friends. I still feel like shit, but I'm confident the right thing just happened.
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:55 (twelve years ago) link
Aren't you glad you didn't move to San Diego?
― OH GNUS (Pyth), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:55 (twelve years ago) link
Or quit your AWESOME JOB?
― OH GNUS (Pyth), Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:56 (twelve years ago) link
Considering that's where it was headed a few months down the road, yes. Very much yes.
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:56 (twelve years ago) link
I was a little worried for you, tbh.
― league of women voters, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:58 (twelve years ago) link
Not a lot, just a little.
― league of women voters, Wednesday, 28 December 2011 17:59 (twelve years ago) link