Books a Man Has Given Me That Made Me Swear NEVER to Go on Another Date with Him EVER Again

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I've never given or received a book on a date, only after the relationship has already been established. Is this common practice? Maybe it's because I tend to date the happy-go-lucky hippie types instead of goths or poets.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 08:39 (seventeen years ago) link

In my case it would be difficult for a man to really guess what I liked unless he had ever been in my house. It's hard to explain your love of the British navy of the Nelson era and accounts of whaling ships being stove in by whales to people you don't know very well.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 08:51 (seventeen years ago) link

I remember one time I visited the flat of a potential love interest, and noticed she had a few books on astrology and one about auras. It didn't completely kill the interest, but it was kinda bummer.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 08:51 (seventeen years ago) link

ihttp://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/0595094724.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Michael (Oakland Mike), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 08:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Perhaps my dislike for astrology-believers is heightened because a former girlfriend once told me we don't really fit together since we have the same sign.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 08:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Christ, fucking astrology.

Actually, the book that would annoy me most would be one of those "how to write lovely journals" books, or rather, a "how to journal" book, since it has become a verb now. Thanks! I can write on my own! I'm not a baby!

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 09:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The only book I have given on a date was '1066 and all that' it was well received but the dating led to nothing.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 09:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I was going to give someone the master & margarita but then she went away

― Subtractive Synthesis (Subtractive Synthesis), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 09:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Hrrmmm. Any gift of books from a mang is usually quite happily received - I'm just glad that they *read*!

OK, the lamest gift was an ex boyfriend who gave me two books - the Story of the Theremin and the Book of Moog - both of which were GRATE, but then a few weeks later, turned around and gave them (again) to a friend of his! Dude! WTF?

― masonic boom (kate), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 11:39 (seventeen years ago) link

men in "can read" shockah.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:19 (seventeen years ago) link

It's not a question of can or can't, it's a question of do or don't.

― masonic boom (kate), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:20 (seventeen years ago) link

That's just silly and sexist quelle surprise

― kv_nol (kv_nol), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:23 (seventeen years ago) link

It is not sexist - I could make disparranging comments about girls that don't read, but quelle surprise, I don't date girls!

― masonic boom (kate), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:24 (seventeen years ago) link

It is the same for me and girls, girls who don't read are ugly.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:24 (seventeen years ago) link

This would probably be a deal breaker even if I saw it on her shelf.

OTM
WORST BOOK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD EVER

― emsk ( emsk ), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:26 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't date girls!

Again with the sexism :)

― kv_nol (kv_nol), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Thing is, that of the meng I have dated, they have given me some quite lovely books. M gave me a book on underground tunnels of London which was AMAZING. L gave me a book on the 4 Colour Maps Problem. After the giving away books he'd already given to me debacle, J gave me books on Trilobytes and err, Lost Rivers of London. I gave him books on art and optical illusions. Our libraries were truly complimentary. S used to come back from meetings with his publisher and bring BAGFULLS of free books.

The only boy who ever gave me Anais Nin was P, and maybe that should have been a warning sign. If that wasn't, then the Houllebeque bloody well should have been!

― masonic boom (kate), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:36 (seventeen years ago) link

I would give houllebecq to a girl

― Subtractive Synthesis (Subtractive Synthesis), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:37 (seventeen years ago) link

best euphemism ever

― Comrades, meet Tildo Durd (Scourage), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:37 (seventeen years ago) link

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I suspect that didn't work. Let's try again.
ihttp://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/184354413X.02._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:47 (seventeen years ago) link

I got the coolest error message from that!

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 12:48 (seventeen years ago) link

that man would probably be tokyo rosemary

I have that pink cover edition SIGNED. Suprise, suprise.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 13:12 (seventeen years ago) link

My ex-husband lent me a copy of Harlan Ellison essays on our first date. Which impressed me as we were both high school students and I didn't know many boys who read for pleasure (and who I considered dateable).

Some dude whom I dated a couple of years back gave me a phillip roth book which was a total drag. He was such a phillip roth kind of guy it was destined not to work out. A first conversation with a guy I really crushed on was about more obscure Salinger stories, ding ding ding!

My current guy struggled throughout his childhood with dyslexia and learning disabilities so never learned to enjoy reading. After teaching many such students, I do not fault him for this and have no issues with loving a man who does not read. More room on the bookshelf for me!

― Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:40 (seventeen years ago) link

one guy gave me the celestine prophecy, not a datey guy, just a friend. but that was the beginning of us growing apart i think. all other books anyone has given me have been hits to a greater or lesser degree, whatever the motives of the giver.

― emsk ( emsk ), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:44 (seventeen years ago) link

For the geeky girl, being given books is like one step beyond the mixtape of Romance.

― masonic boom (kate), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:45 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't think a guy (or at least a datey guy) has ever given me a book. Unless a Smiths comic book counts, and it probably should not.

― The Many Faces of Gordon Jump (Leon), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I gave my wife a copy of Story of the Eye when we were friends. I can't say "DON'T give a love interest a copy of Story of the Eye" since it all worked out, but in hindsight it seems like an audacious move.

― Nu-Edward III (edward iii), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:49 (seventeen years ago) link

This would do it

http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/0872863107.01._BO2,204,203,200_PIlitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Metrosexual Healing (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:52 (seventeen years ago) link

How about this one?

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/0802130127.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Nu-Edward III (edward iii), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Actually, the creepiest book a mang has ever given me was Damage, which is a totally creepy book all full of family dysfunction and incest. And this was given to me by my BROTHER. Shortly before a major nervous breakdown, so I tried not to read too much into it.

― masonic boom (kate), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:54 (seventeen years ago) link

No. I have been meaning to either borrow that from the library or buy it, so I'd appreciate that gift.

― Metrosexual Healing (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:54 (seventeen years ago) link

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5a/Book_of_Mormon_English_Missionary_Edition_Soft_Cover.jpg/150px-Book_of_Mormon_English_Missionary_Edition_Soft_Cover.jpg

― Metrosexual Healing (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:54 (seventeen years ago) link

http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/3822834629.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Metrosexual Healing (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 14:58 (seventeen years ago) link

In college one time a girl came over to my dorm, saw "Ariel" by Sylvia Plath on a stack of books and laughed a hollow laugh and said "Oh my God" and just shook her head.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Sylvia Plath gets shit on too much.

― Metrosexual Healing (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:06 (seventeen years ago) link

1 million times preferrable to Ginsberg, IMO.

― Metrosexual Healing (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:06 (seventeen years ago) link

tracer, maybe she thought you were trying to impress emo ladeez.

― Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Tropic of Capricorn - Henry Miller
Henry Miller is always a bad sign. (for women)(in dating situations)
Anything by Bukowski-
Bukowski is always a bad sign. (for women) (in dating situations)

I have received both, in separate, rapidly disentegrating dating situations.

I have been given good books by men who don't want to rapidly disintegrate, or rather date me. Including "The Giving Tree" which was a very "aw, shucks!" Christmas surprise from a ne'er do well who is one of my dearest friends. Explaining him to the women whose hearts he breaks is not easy. I rely on the anecdotal evidence that, by giving me that book, he must have a heart. Just don't ask me to find it!

I still have the "Batman" comic that the rogue who broke my heart, for the very first time, gave me in passing. I was 13 - he was 20. nothing ever happened between us - I was simply in love with him. And he knew it.

Beware Bukowski in any form! And at any age!

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Hilariously!...there are at least two cover images and lots more in-text mentions of books I've worked on, on this thread. That's what I get for taking a job with such a commercial imprint, I guess.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 15:58 (seventeen years ago) link

The two weird stalker ladies I dated gave me Bukowski (threw stuff in drunken fits) and some sort of self-published anime fan fiction written by a friend back home (sleeping outside my dorm room door, making public threats against new girlfriend). I saw the warning signs early but I didn't bail when I should have in either case.

The Bukowski was worse than the fan fiction.

― After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rain, Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:02 (seventeen years ago) link

my worst ex loved bukowski and harry crewes. he was also the drunken, violent fit type. and into lines. bad, bad scene

― Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link

ain't yr houllebecq girl

― bankster (gbx), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link

When I started dating my girlfriend, I lent her Austerlitz by W.G. Sebald. Not sure if that was a good idea or not, but since she still hasn't gotten around to reading it, I guess there was no harm done.

― o. nate (o. nate), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 16:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I'd love to get Bukowski or the Marquis de Sade (and quite a few others on this thread). Having said that, the person on the original link does have a point when she says that if given whilst saying "this really speaks to me about my life", that would be a bit of a warning sign.

I think the only things that would put me off would be utter crap - if someone buys me Harry Potter or Bridget Jones they clearly have no idea of or relation to what I'm like or interested in.

― emil.y (emil.y), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Buying me Harry Potter would be a little bit obvious, but hardly a bad idea! Do dig a little deeper next time, though -- there's so much YA fantasy out there.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:18 (seventeen years ago) link

I think any Virginia Woolf would win my heart immediately.

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:19 (seventeen years ago) link

ain't yr houllebecq girl

-- bankster (reduhnekkisssss...), February 13th, 2007.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

― The RealJTMod (Real JT Mod of Team Courage), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:20 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought it was funny enough.

― Allyzay heard you got beat up in a club. (Allyzay Eisenschefter), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Is your man a sociopath?

― Nu-Edward III (edward iii), Tuesday, 13 February 2007 17:51 (seventeen years ago) link

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