― tissp! (tissp!), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link
― masonic boom (kate), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 16:16 (seventeen years ago) link
― tissp! (tissp!), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 16:17 (seventeen years ago) link
― masonic boom (kate), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 16:21 (seventeen years ago) link
How am I supposed to keep the NERVOUS EXCITEMENT under control for the next hour?
― masonic boom (kate), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 16:28 (seventeen years ago) link
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000003TBG.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
― masonic boom (kate), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 16:35 (seventeen years ago) link
(although the one in the mirror isn't!)
― M Grout (Mark Grout), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 16:38 (seventeen years ago) link
Boycrush Pusher
Totally crushed out, infatuated beyond a doubtPrettiest boy I ever saw, every time I see him wanna be around him moreGosh, I catch him smiling every time I lookWanna scribble his name in my notebook
Catch myself spinning reams of awful teenage poetryA thousand different rhymes for how lovely he looks recentlyTousled blond hair blue eyes beneathEvery time he looks at me I forget how to breathe
Chorus:Peter make me feel 15 years youngPeter make me feel there's still silly love songs to be sungPrettiest boy I ever sawEvery time I see him wanna be around him moreInfatuated beyond a doubtTotally crushed out
Stutter mutter mumble cough if I try to talk I embarrass myselfOpen my mouth, there's no sound I'm finding lame excuses just to hang aroundWhy won't my brain behave like it ought?He robs my mind of intelligent thought
Chorus
Don't dare to dream or think what comes nextWouldn't wanna ruin this with sexNever get old, never get bored, never have to worry about being disloyalUnrequited love never has to spoil
― masonic boom (kate), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 16:40 (seventeen years ago) link
http://www.last.fm/music/The+Lollies
Dammit, I'm trying to download an MP3 of Boycrush Pusher but everywhere wants me to register. DUDE, I AM NOT GOING TO PAY *YOU* TO DOWNLOAD A SONG THAT *I* NEVER GAVE YOU THE RIGHTS FOR!
― masonic boom (kate), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 17:00 (seventeen years ago) link
― M Grout (Mark Grout), Wednesday, 29 November 2006 17:02 (seventeen years ago) link
― substitute, mitya for him (mitya), Thursday, 30 November 2006 08:58 (seventeen years ago) link
Statistic of the day: about 8% of the Lollies tracks played by Last.FM users were played by me since I signed up for it - 32 plays out of 440 total.
Last night was fun.
It was all a bit awkward, of course, as it always is when it's not only a first date, but a first meet too. But then, we were standing on the station platform saying our goodbyes. The train was starting from here, so it had been standing there a while. There hadn't been any shouts or whistles or anything, when we both suddenly noticed: the door lights had gone out. And as we were both saying "Oh - shit...", the engines revved up and it pulled out of the station.
It was only half-eight, but that was very definitely the last train of the evening that went anywhere near the right direction. And it was, frankly, by far the biggest ice-breaker we could have had. Never mind the awkward conversations about how we feel and what sort of relationship we're looking for; that was all out of the window, and things were suddenly all relaxed.
― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 30 November 2006 09:16 (seventeen years ago) link
I've just started the whole dating thing in earnest (thanks to the previously mentioned msf - http://www.mysinglefriend.com/detail.php?|=zefqrefghcd ) and meeting people is terrible. I can never do the ice breaking thing very well - I never really know what to talk about. I've never been good at small-talk, and big-talk can't be just launched into on a 1st date - so what's going on? EEEK! The last date I went on was lovely in a "met new cool person" kind of way, but still no fancying going on. Hurumph. Who's got advice on the whole "meeting people is easy" thing? What do I talk about on dates? This is REALLY hard!
Who went to Kate's shindig last night? Need people to report back on and tell me what I missed :(
― John Barlow (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 10:01 (seventeen years ago) link
― Ed (dali), Thursday, 30 November 2006 10:25 (seventeen years ago) link
Yes, we got Dave and PBW to dance onstage with us. Suzy has pictures, I think.
Dumped my guitars back at the office and drank until 3 in a funny handshake bar. Talked to PBW some. He's more fucked up than I ever imagined. He went home with another girl. I should feel devastated, but all I feel is... well... I'm in love with the world again, for having boys like him in it.
I'm just utterly and completely smitten, in a "god, I just want to write songs about you" way. Which is the best way of all.
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 10:48 (seventeen years ago) link
I think so :-)
JB, we had already been talking on the phone a lot over the past week or so, so we knew enough about each other already to have a fair amount to talk about. But that only works with a few people, I think.
― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 30 November 2006 10:55 (seventeen years ago) link
That's the thing I forogt abotu dating - the pressure to have fun and be likeable/witty/etc. I'm an easy going guy, I don't need pressure!
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:02 (seventeen years ago) link
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:06 (seventeen years ago) link
Pretty much shot the rest of the evening for me - burned in shame for about 30 minutes and then left.
― substitute, mitya for him (mitya), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:07 (seventeen years ago) link
http://www.replieswanted.com/things-to-talk-about-on-a-date.htm
which all seems far too clinical for me, but I guess I'm after a clinical solution, so maybe I do need to go down the NLP route.
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:14 (seventeen years ago) link
She had threatened to bring a crib sheet of conversational topics for me!
― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:15 (seventeen years ago) link
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:17 (seventeen years ago) link
― Ed (dali), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:18 (seventeen years ago) link
But it's like... the only feeling in the world that actually means anything to me, is that sense of getting onstage and putting in a performance where you *REALLY FEEL IT*. That's better than sex, it's better than love, it's better than drugs, it's better than anything.
I have been phoning it in with this band for so long, going through the motions, wondering why I do it. And suddenly, last night, as I looked out in the audience and saw his face, it's like every stupid, trite cliche in the songs suddenly meant something again. I think that's what made the gig so good, and yeah, it was something special last night.
I don't get to have relationships or any of that crap, but this is what I *do* get - the ability to write songs and perform them. This is the only thing that has ever meant anything to me.
And it's like, he gave me that back last night.
How do you say that to someone, without sounding like a complete mentalist? I think I was talking drunken bollocks about him being my muse or something. But it's like... "I look at you, and I hear music!" How can you put something like that into words? Just hope a fellow musician understands?
It's not sexual, it's not like wanting to get with him or anything like that. I feel kinda like an emotional vampire, because I just want him to tell me stories about his life and put them to music.
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:21 (seventeen years ago) link
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:26 (seventeen years ago) link
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:30 (seventeen years ago) link
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:30 (seventeen years ago) link
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:35 (seventeen years ago) link
In other news, tonight, I am going on a photoshoot. As one of the models.
― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:36 (seventeen years ago) link
Having ones photo taken is awful. I hope it's not too terrible. ;-)
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:37 (seventeen years ago) link
― Sir Gregory of St.Kitts (g-kit), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:39 (seventeen years ago) link
You're going modelling? Do report back with stories about prima donnas. I wouldn't mind trying that kind of thing, but I don't think my ego would be able to take it. And besides, my eyes invariably turn out like the eyes of a killer (see my MSF photo).
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:40 (seventeen years ago) link
― Ed (dali), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:42 (seventeen years ago) link
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:42 (seventeen years ago) link
― Sir Gregory of St.Kitts (g-kit), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:48 (seventeen years ago) link
Fuck that. I'm happy for once, and I'm going to enjoy it. I'm in the best band in the world.
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:53 (seventeen years ago) link
― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:56 (seventeen years ago) link
Even pain can make you feel like you're alive, sometimes.
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:57 (seventeen years ago) link
― Sir Gregory of St.Kitts (g-kit), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:59 (seventeen years ago) link
(the other thing with both self-harming and masochism is that the normal response to physical pain gives you a kind of natural high - but also in some people a very bad comedown a day or two later)
((xpost))
― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:01 (seventeen years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:02 (seventeen years ago) link
I suppose it's terrible, but the best thing about this is the sense of... *rightness*. I'm in love with a boy I barely know and can never have, and that's the way it should be.
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:05 (seventeen years ago) link
― Sir Gregory of St.Kitts (g-kit), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:06 (seventeen years ago) link
I wouldn't mind having my photo taken all day if I was just having my photo snapped to capture my day-to-day going ons, but I would imagine modelling being more hard work than that.
ha ha reminds me of that Black Books episode with the Greek photographer when Manny runs away. If there are any Japanese businessmen hanging round, run away quickly.
I'm not sure the photos will be suitable for posting here, though."
Oh, those kind of photos! Well, just pixilate anything unsavoury, I'm still intrigued!
I'm with you about the familiarity of being in love with someone you can't have being comforting. It's liek you were saying with depression being a cosy safety blanket you can wrap round yourself - endless crushes like that are exactly the same. And quite cool, in a way.
What KIND of funny handshake? Or would the bar stop being cool if you told the likes of ME?
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:08 (seventeen years ago) link
Was that you, Gooblar? (Are you awake yet?)
I don't know. I'm still trying to work out whether I believe it or not. I'm not sure I was even talking about my plainness vs. the prettiness of the girl PBW went home with - or if I was talking about mine own shallowness (visual motivation? aesthetic motivation?)
PBW is totally right to be suspicious of my motivations - like he said, I don't know him, not at all. I've based my entire views of him on the observation that he *looks* like a bruised angel. It's all projection. But what things look like (sound like, the prettiness, aesthetically, of them) is really all that matters to me. As an artist, at least.
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:14 (seventeen years ago) link
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:16 (seventeen years ago) link
It was truly a great gig last night, everything sounded (after the first song) all sparkly and right-on and together and world-conquering.
Not feeling too rough today, due to lots of water imbibement.
― g0000blar (g00blar), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:18 (seventeen years ago) link
― Sir Gregory of St.Kitts (g-kit), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:21 (seventeen years ago) link
― Johnney B has zeros off the line (stigoftdumpilx), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:23 (seventeen years ago) link
But continuing on from the discussion last night, it is important, because it's about getting A Look and Working It. Which is sometimes more important than actually having the right bone structure.
I get upset because I cannot make my Self a work of art the way I've made everything else in my life (my flat, my songs) a work of art.
Oh, I don't know. I'll stop thinking about this, and go back to muddling along with my effects patches and Victorian novels.
― masonic boom (kate), Thursday, 30 November 2006 12:25 (seventeen years ago) link