sandboX Factor 2011

"If I fed everything into a computer" wtf Louis?
piss awful, terrible enunciaation of crepe-y lyrics

oh god we have to hear that fucking song again

Except it'll be even worse because it's a song for a solo singer.
Tulisa doesn't seem very excited - perhaps she thinks she's back introducing The Risk.

the length of time over this is ridiculous, are they pulling some kind of fiddle so the aggregate viewers beats Strictly or something?

there are still 40 minutes left!

Which includes a performance by Coldplay, so it'll seem even longer.

If they wheeled on Matt Cardle for a song then time might actually start to go backwards.

Am currently thanking every deity I can think of that we have been spared the ordeal of listening to Janet mimsying her way through that. And being glad Misha didn't have to do it either.

Gary Barlow is a pretty hit and miss songwriter y/n? Like for his handful of notable classics there is a big pile of nothing there too?

"Get ready to tech santa" - as a 'suddener' I'm not really in a position to complain, but wtf is up with people on telly not talking properly?

xp his notable classics are pretty much nothing as well - I can't name a single one of his solo songs

i was thinking of the big Take That hits, i couldn't hum a G Barlow solo joint

The problem is that the best Take That songs are covers, imo. 'A Million Love Songs' gets a lot of acclaim but he wrote it when he was 15.

listening to Janet mimsying her way through that

If she'd have developed her thousand yard stare performance technique a bit more, Janet would have had the best chance of pulling off those lyrics.

"Never Forget", "Back for Good", "Pray" - those are tunes

but a lot of really anonymous stuff around them

gary's solo career was a notable flop wasn't it?

25 more minutes

"Never Forget" kind of ruined by continual repetition. Like 'Changes' is for Bowie, it's the video montage song of choice for TT.

Meanwhile, Marcus sounded like he was singing "It's not hard to fore, and I don't want the loo"

xxp if by 'flop' you mean 'sold so few records that he got dropped by his record company' than yes.
It takes some mediocrity to make Robbie's early solo career ('Old Before I Die' etc.) look passable, but Barlow did it.

Mark Owen's solo career to thread.

at the time i don't think anybody explicitly said it was cos the material was so weak, it was more implied that it was cos he was the least sexy/charismatic TT guy?

Chris Martin desperately wants to be Bruce Springsteen here. Fails miserably. It's like bits of 'Born To Run' with parts of 'I'm On Fire' and 'Dancing In The Dark', mixed with that dun dun dun duh dun dun dun plinky synth line that appears on every Coldplay song.

and with the new AOR respectable-music-journalist-friendly bollocks comeback stuff, Gary hardly has a solo writing credit at all as far as i can tell

THIS IS SO BAD!

It's like every lame songwriting cliche put into one song!

chris martin's sweat :/

:D i like a lot of Coldplay's empty yearning music but let's not have that fight here

ok so i have some Facebook friends wailing about X Factor ruining a Damien Rice classic? dunno if i've actually heard Damien Rice but i assume i'd hate him so good

His is the original version of the winner's song.

(I haven't heard the original either, but based on the lyrics that I could make out Marcus and Little Mix actually singing, I think I'd hate Rice as well)

yeah i gather that now, but i'm assuming the original is horrible anyway

With lines like 'stones taught me to fly' how could it be any good?

okay, come on Little Micks

fucking finally!

I'd like to think that Olly was deliberately quoting Obama there with his "Yes they can!" as some kind of comment on the whole importance of the XF business in relation to world politics. But he probably wasn't.

YAAAAY 180 quid for Lorraine :D

Well congrats NV, your mate has won £180 (minus tax)

:)

u don't pay tax on betting wins nowadays ;-)

haven't done for near 20 years iirc

OIC

(to skint to ever place a bet these days)

i'm kinda glad for them as well, i don't think winning wd've helped Marcus' "career" in any great way and the burden of being another Cardle might actually be worse

What's the smart money on for the anti-X-Factor Christmas number one? Because this really is shite.

Marcus will be starring in Jersey Boys or somesuch before long. I think Little Mix might do OK out of this.

bonus: RIP the saturdays' career

wait, the Saturdays have a career?

Actually they've done better than I expected. Their logo has a half formed swastika and the word 'TURD' in it. By rights they should have been the Northern Line of early 21st century girl groups by now.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8f/The_Satz.jpg/220px-The_Satz.jpg

that show was rank. the irish guy from the IT crowd is being surprisingly sexy and funny on the extra factor.

I'm not masochistic enough to watch ITV2. Ever.