umm hello? people - refusing to top is not always just bc someone doesn't feel like it. for fuck's sake. sometimes ppl like, can't top. yeah. it's a thing.
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 05:03 (twelve years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqp_0B3zq1E
The pronunciation manual videos are my new favorite thing on the whole web right now. This one is one of the best.
― Sandbox Jesse, Thursday, 8 December 2011 05:43 (twelve years ago) link
sometimes ppl like, can't top. yeah. it's a thing.
The existence of double-ended dildos should itself confirm this.
― Detrius of Life (Eric H.), Thursday, 8 December 2011 05:44 (twelve years ago) link
yeah and imho, those people suck at sex, so i don't want to have anything to do with them,
― souslatablelaplage, Thursday, 8 December 2011 06:41 (twelve years ago) link
Maybe we shouldn't have FB re-friended.
― Detrius of Life (Eric H.), Thursday, 8 December 2011 13:00 (twelve years ago) link
I think u mean suck badly at sex.
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 8 December 2011 13:07 (twelve years ago) link
― surm, Thursday, December 8, 2011 5:03 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Permalink
Really? Is it a psychological thing, like a discomfort in playing a certain role, or is it an actual physical difficulty/inability? Or sometimes both?
― Stevie :-D, Thursday, 8 December 2011 13:57 (twelve years ago) link
it's both. and tbh, i would not want to be associate with somebody who would not want to have anything to do with me bc i may or may not suck at sex.
like, what a fucked attitude. looks like you might be missing out on a lot of good people in the world.
i have had difficulty with sex in the past. i don't pretend to be some kind of casanova. i've only topped once. it's hard for me. i can't drive either. guess i'm lucky i have any friends at all.
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:04 (twelve years ago) link
i mean, does it bother me? that i'm a 28 yr old man and i've only done that once? yes it does. do i give a flying fuck that you do not want to have anything to do with me bc of it? i'll survive tbh.
my favorite men from the past are the men who have been understanding with me. even on random hookups. a little sweetness goes a long way.
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:10 (twelve years ago) link
I'm not categorical about any sexual practices except staying safe. If my hookup and I had had a good time before the sweat-and-tears part of the evening, I'll likely overlook any physical awkwardness.
― Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:24 (twelve years ago) link
T, that was pretty harsh and it doesn't sound like you thought it through.
― Sandbox Jesse, Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:29 (twelve years ago) link
I hope I didn't come off as critical bcz my question was one of genuine interest re: something that I knew little or nothing about. And yeah, "strongly dislikes topping" = "bad at sex" is a pretty big generalization to make. I get that versatility can be a really important thing in certain contexts but I wouldn't go so far as to imply that people who don't/can't top are just straight-up bad.
― Stevie :-D, Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:31 (twelve years ago) link
Wd not be surprised if most people think they're not particularly good at sex.
― Detrius of Life (Eric H.), Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:43 (twelve years ago) link
If only they knew how bad people can be.
― Detrius of Life (Eric H.), Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:44 (twelve years ago) link
So has the history of the world for the past twenty years.
― Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:45 (twelve years ago) link
World history has been a bad lay lately.
― Detrius of Life (Eric H.), Thursday, 8 December 2011 14:56 (twelve years ago) link
I think we could avoid being hurtful to each other if we make it explicit or implicit that "bad at sex" should mean "not what I am looking for in a lay." And I'd like to think none of us want to hurt each other.
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 8 December 2011 15:00 (twelve years ago) link
i'm not hurt i'm just sayin
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 15:06 (twelve years ago) link
stevie i totes understand where you are coming from
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 15:21 (twelve years ago) link
I'm not hurt by people thinking (or, rather, knowing) I'm not a sexy beast. I'm only hurt if they think that's all I'd possibly have to offer.
― Detrius of Life (Eric H.), Thursday, 8 December 2011 15:23 (twelve years ago) link
everybody got a beast and a kitten within
just the way it goes
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 15:37 (twelve years ago) link
oui contain multitudes
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 8 December 2011 15:38 (twelve years ago) link
yeah, it was a little harsh, and what i really meant was, "i don't really want to have anything to do with such a person sexually," not interpersonally/friendship wise. so i retract my statement, sorry i'm such a brutish asshole.
that said, just because i don't want to sleep with someone because they can't/won't/are unable to perform certain functions isn't really something that i think is that unreasonable, or un-'sweet.' it's just a reality that certain people have certain sexual desires and needs— saying that i'm some sort of horrible shitbag because i can't sexually deal with someone who can't switch is pretty unreasonable, too, imho. just as unreasonable as i was being ;_;
just sayin.
― souslatablelaplage, Thursday, 8 December 2011 19:28 (twelve years ago) link
o whatever, u set yourself up for it with the way you phrased it and u know it. we all know what's what, but there's a way to say things.
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 19:35 (twelve years ago) link
like remember when you called me racist bc i don't want to sleep with asian guys? maybe now you know how it feels yo
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 19:36 (twelve years ago) link
someone recently told me i have a "bottom personality"
― silvana mangano, Thursday, 8 December 2011 19:51 (twelve years ago) link
surm, i am sorry, i didn't mean for it to be so unreasonable, and i actually didn't really 'know it' when i phrased it that way, so don't play the 'i know what's in yr head' game with me. just like i shouldn't have played it with you. it's cool, yr an awesome presence, and i didn't mean to demean you.
― souslatablelaplage, Thursday, 8 December 2011 19:57 (twelve years ago) link
i'm not playing any game, and i don't feel demeaned. it's all good.
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 20:00 (twelve years ago) link
seriously tho, surm, <3 to you.
in other news relating to how this whole thing got started, Mr. Dimitrov has unfriended me. but i can still see everything he posts. thus, he basically unfriended me so that i cannot shut him down in arguments.
― souslatablelaplage, Thursday, 8 December 2011 20:01 (twelve years ago) link
mmmmmmmmmmuah
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 20:06 (twelve years ago) link
some queers don't like dissent, including the ones who are Democrats.
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 8 December 2011 20:24 (twelve years ago) link
that deserved a laugh track.
― Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 8 December 2011 20:30 (twelve years ago) link
actually wait, i want to ask: do any of you actively unfriend people on fbook? because i just recently started doing so, and man, it feels FUCKING GREAT.
― souslatablelaplage, Thursday, 8 December 2011 20:31 (twelve years ago) link
i rly want to, there be some fucktards on there
― surm, Thursday, 8 December 2011 20:33 (twelve years ago) link
I do when it's someone I barely know, but I'm too chickenshit to do it to people just because I dislike them.
― Stevie :-D, Thursday, 8 December 2011 21:09 (twelve years ago) link
Heh, "recently started doing so" ;)
― Detrius of Life (Eric H.), Thursday, 8 December 2011 21:26 (twelve years ago) link
I hide people from my news feed with great prejudice. I actually think it's even more satisfying than unfriending. You are, like, actively ignoring them.
yeah, it's like they're there but only if YOU want them. long-tail socializing ftw
― nuhnuhnuh, Thursday, 8 December 2011 21:29 (twelve years ago) link
i hide people. i've never encountered opinions offensive enough to warrant defriending (on fb). i also like keeping people within contact in case i need them for anything in the future.
it's been apologised for so i shouldn't drag it up again but i'm not really sure when i last read anything as dickheadedly offensive as "those people suck at sex, so i don't want to have anything to do with them"
i had no idea there was, like, an imperative to be versatile! i've never heard of anyone demanding it before
― degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Thursday, 8 December 2011 21:37 (twelve years ago) link
that's not what was apologized for and it isn't offensive to want/not want certain things from a sex partner but it can be more complicated than that sometimes are we done now
― nuhnuhnuh, Thursday, 8 December 2011 21:40 (twelve years ago) link
yeah i only de-friended someone once and i think i only did it because either FB hadn't developed the hide feature yet or i just didn't know about it
i realize i have been de-friended and i usually understand why: it's often by people who i met once years ago and have made no attempt since to keep up with, or exes of my friends, etc
― silvana mangano, Thursday, 8 December 2011 21:41 (twelve years ago) link
If I didn't hide ppl from my newsfeed it would be too damn long, since 80% of my 'friends' are younger and lead more interesting lives than I do.
(j/k obv)
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 8 December 2011 21:42 (twelve years ago) link
it's 10.30pm on a saturday night and i'm massively hungover and it's freezing outside and i do not know whether to get myself together to go to a house party or just flop into bed
― degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 22:24 (twelve years ago) link
That's one grueling hangover, lex -- you mentioned it about nine hours ago!
― Lord Sotosyn, Saturday, 10 December 2011 22:28 (twelve years ago) link
well it's not in the fullblown stage any more, just...very tired and vacant. bed is sensible, isn't it? i might just go out for a bit
― degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 22:29 (twelve years ago) link
The have-one-drink ethos as a hangover wanes doesn't work for me anymore.
― Lord Sotosyn, Saturday, 10 December 2011 22:31 (twelve years ago) link
well i've put my contact lenses in now so i'm committed. i am in a nice zen mood which means i am prepared and will be happy with either the party being underwhelming and me coming home in an hour, or the party ending up being one of those that's still going in 10 hours
― degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 22:35 (twelve years ago) link
WORK it
― surm, Saturday, 10 December 2011 22:46 (twelve years ago) link
turn on the radio, what do you hear?? 25 cheerleaders doing a cheer!!!!
― surm, Sunday, 11 December 2011 08:00 (twelve years ago) link
i've been talking to a guy i met on ok cupid -- i'm optimistic
― v-shasty, Sunday, 11 December 2011 08:29 (twelve years ago) link