thumbsucker blues: sandbox parenting thead

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Hadn't arrived yesterday....

vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 30 November 2006 11:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Tallulah is 2.92kg (6lb 7oz)! That's 37g/day since she reattained her birth weight on day six. No wonder we're not getting any peace, she's doing some kind of De Niro for Raging Bull blimp-out.

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 30 November 2006 18:06 (seventeen years ago) link

rufus is 4 today! and, hey, beth parker, if you see this, feel free to stop on by for cake.


http://static.flickr.com/113/312049561_000ceda740.jpg?v=0

scott seward (121212), Saturday, 2 December 2006 17:58 (seventeen years ago) link

http://static.flickr.com/104/312049560_b5a45b1885.jpg?v=0

scott seward (121212), Saturday, 2 December 2006 17:58 (seventeen years ago) link

cyrus and hagar the horrible:


http://static.flickr.com/115/311524401_e392c0ccd2.jpg?v=0

scott seward (121212), Saturday, 2 December 2006 17:59 (seventeen years ago) link

not a birthday pic, but what the heck, rufus and great-grandma hope down in florida:


http://static.flickr.com/113/312049558_567db474b8.jpg?v=0

scott seward (121212), Saturday, 2 December 2006 18:01 (seventeen years ago) link

that last one is CUTE.

nathalie (stevienixed), Sunday, 3 December 2006 09:26 (seventeen years ago) link

http://static.flickr.com/101/312956011_e094f666c7_m.jpg

chillin'in front of xmas tree!

nathalie (stevienixed), Sunday, 3 December 2006 16:16 (seventeen years ago) link

I went and saw BabyOnimo get christened this afternoon. Also EXORCISED! Teh Catholic church ROOLZ!!! I took photos but they turned out shite.

ailsa_xx (ailsa_xx), Sunday, 3 December 2006 18:48 (seventeen years ago) link

kid is still sick and so am I. And we had an ice storm that knocked out power to half our house. the half with the heater and the fridge and the computer. :( we got an electrician to come and switch things around so that the important stuff had power, but the electric co has to fix the power line and we're at the bottom of (literally) a half-million household list of outages.

teeny (teeny), Monday, 4 December 2006 16:21 (seventeen years ago) link

:-(((

nathalie (stevienixed), Monday, 4 December 2006 16:23 (seventeen years ago) link

http://static.flickr.com/106/314715423_06cbc06748_m.jpg

Update! Ophelia in handknitted sweatah! Waddayasay? I even included a zippah.Hoera! Sleeves are a bit short though but I blame the teacher who changed the pattern. Harumph.

nathalie (stevienixed), Tuesday, 5 December 2006 08:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Scott, we were away for the weekend. We'll come by!

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 5 December 2006 15:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Evidence that my love of the Wu-Tang is affecting my child's life:

E4: I want to take boxing!
E3: How about if I just beat you up?
E4: Okay! Tiger style again?

Nu-Edward III (edward iii), Tuesday, 5 December 2006 15:55 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.rakuten.ne.jp/gold/babygoose/image/ta/A-1108_pic1.jpg

I just found out my parents might be getting this for Ophelia. SHould I be worried?

nathalie (stevienixed), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 09:59 (seventeen years ago) link

No, every kid should have their own cute Asian friend.

nu_onimo (nu_onimo), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 10:08 (seventeen years ago) link

ROFL Gerry, y'know, it's possible that it includes this Japanese baby. They are obsessed with Japan (and do indeed live there). I'm actually going for a week to Japan with Ophelia in about seven weeks. (EEEEEEEK!) My parents keep trying to push me to let her sleep with me on the futon. No. Fucking. Way. "But that's how the Japanese do it?" Well, I'm not Japanese and I demand a bed. I don't want Ophelia getting used to co-sleeping.

nathalie (stevienixed), Wednesday, 6 December 2006 10:10 (seventeen years ago) link

So what's the consensus on pregnant women SMOKING? I was appalled at the woman next to me in knitting class CONFESSING that she smoked a pack per day all through her THREE pregnancies. I MEAN WTF! Not only do I find it... I just can't put into words how shocked I was that she not only did it but that she also ADMITTED it. I would definitely not confess to it. But hey *whatever* her kids came out fine (as far as I know). She said she was too nervous and had already gained 15 kilos.

nathalie (stevienixed), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 13:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I have a sister who was told by her DOCTOR to not bother quitting while pregnant because it would stress her out too much!

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Nath, that outfit's adorable! dress ophelia like that before she's old enough to know better.

It blows my mind that in this day and age anyone would consider smoking while pregnant acceptable.

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 14:56 (seventeen years ago) link

uh sister-in-law that should read. If I had a sister, I think I'd give her a little more shit about smoking. She started her new one on a pacifier "because they reduce the risk of sids"...I have absolutely no opinion on pacifiers but you know what else reduces the risk of sids? QUITTING SMOKING. You might want to think about laying off the coke too, sweetheart.

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 15:15 (seventeen years ago) link

oh man. . .

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 15:18 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm hoping that you meant "pop" in that last sentence, teeny.

PPlains (PPlains), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 16:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Once I saw a woman who was clearly in labor standing outside our local hospital having a smoke. Every time she had a contraction, she'd stop puffing and brace herself against the building. I wondered what she told the l & d nurses she was going outside to do.

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 16:52 (seventeen years ago) link

We've broken down a bit on the "no kids in the bed" rule. I think with twins, a lot of "rules" go out the window. Another one we've given up on is the "no pacifiers" rule. It would seriously be impossible for my wife to stay sane without pacifiers.

We hope to get the kids out of the bed soon, of course. We only have a queen size bed, so it's a little crowded with the two babies. I suggested putting the bed in the garage and putting a king size mattress on the floor, but that was just too ghetto an idea for my wife.

A couple new pics:
http://static.flickr.com/127/320128244_16fd99dc76.jpg
http://static.flickr.com/131/317510856_4910fc3f7c.jpg

From the Flickr set

schwantz (schwantz), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:05 (seventeen years ago) link

We co-slept with both kids, but that was our plan in the first place. I was glad that we did with Alex, since he was born 6 weeks early and had apnea of prematurity. It was gone by the time he left the hospital, but after seeing my tiny baby stop breathing so many times, there was no way I was trusting that. We transitioned them into their own beds in our room (where Julia still is, actually); Alex moved into his own room when he was 4, I think.

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link

haha rules. the only rules that count are the ones the government enforces.

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:14 (seventeen years ago) link

and I was just about to rep for co-sleeping too. It was not our plan (I didn't even think it was "done") but once we started we all liked it! Occasionally it is a pain but usually it is all cuddles and sweetness.

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:15 (seventeen years ago) link

At the risk of sounding completely insane, I used to wake up before Alex when he was a baby and try not to move so that he wouldn't wake up. Then I could breathe in his sweet breastfed-baby breath!

As for rules, yeah... good luck with that. You have to do what works with the kids you wind up with...

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Had Ava in our bed until 4-5 weeks then transitioned her to a little bassinet by our bed before finally moving her to her own cot in her own room at 3 months.

With Tallulah we had some "success" initially with her in her own crib in our room - sleeping reasonably well, one major feed per night. But lately she's not been doing so well - whether it's the cold she's had since Ava snotted her sisterly affection all over her in week one or the looming spectre of colic (she has digestive/gas issues way worse than Ava ever did) - we usually need her in the bed for her to sleep soundly for more than 30min at a time. Last night was an exception - she slept in the crib until 3:45am, thereafter (fitfully) in the bed.

Whether through jealousy or by chance, Ava now wants back in on the act. I think it's the final throes of teething - she wakes up wailing at 1am or so and we have to take her into our bed to calm her down. You can tell it's a real illicit treat for her - she's smiling to herself as she burrows into the pillows between Mum and Dad. If Tallulah's already in prime sandwich position, I have to take Ava downstairs or just arrange the two of them very carefully. Hope it doesn't become a nightly occurrence.

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:43 (seventeen years ago) link

you are all scaring me.

Ms Misery (MsMisery), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Excuse the naive and personal question, but if you share your bed with a baby, when do you get teh good lovin ect? Or are you so knackered it wouldn't feature anyway?

Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Other times, I guess. And yeah, we're knackered. And when you get a C-Section, you're on "pelvic rest" for a while.

Our doctor told us the only documented cases of people rolling over and crushing their babies involve BOTH obesity and drugs/alcohol. Something like 80% of the world's population sleep with their infants in the bed.

Thing to watch out for: Keep the covers/comforters away from their head(s).

And of course, put down a "piddle pad" because babies be wettin'!

schwantz (schwantz), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:55 (seventeen years ago) link

There are other rooms in the house. Maybe a guest room... ahem. (You have no idea how many times I have answered this question. I used to get kind of sarcastic and say, "Haven't you ever seen Fatal Attraction?" I quit that when I started to think that my friends were looking at me funny.)

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 17:57 (seventeen years ago) link

I've never seen Fatal Attraction!

Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 18:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Never seen Fatal Attraction?" Hmmmm. I don't know whether or not to recommend it; it's kind of creepy.

And when you get a C-Section, you're on "pelvic rest" for a while.

Really? Is it longer than the standard 6 weeks for vaginal births? (At 6 week post-partum checkup, my ob's standard comment is, "you can go back to doing anything legal...").

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 18:02 (seventeen years ago) link

I think 6 weeks is it. We're at 4 right now.

schwantz (schwantz), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 18:07 (seventeen years ago) link

the kid sleeps fine in the crib for as long as it takes.

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 12 December 2006 18:19 (seventeen years ago) link

It blows my mind that in this day and age anyone would consider smoking while pregnant acceptable.

I know! I discovered my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me, but I can sort of brush that off cause, hey, it was the 70s and she was 18 yrs old. Still...

In re to lovemaking: I think one of the reasons I put Ophelia in her own room was that I prefered doing some hanky panky when she wasn't around. ;-)

nathalie (stevienixed), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 12:10 (seventeen years ago) link

AHA! He was bottlefed! :-)

nathalie (stevienixed), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 12:41 (seventeen years ago) link

My mother smoked Salems and drank martinis when she was pregneant. I turned out...me.

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:27 (seventeen years ago) link

The martinis nullify teh ciggies

Blaze the Violet Flame (nu_onimo), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 15:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Excuse the naive and personal question, but if you share your bed with a baby, when do you get teh good lovin ect? Or are you so knackered it wouldn't feature anyway?

having a baby is the perfect birth control

akm (akmonday), Wednesday, 13 December 2006 18:13 (seventeen years ago) link

where's archel??

teeny (teeny), Thursday, 14 December 2006 15:20 (seventeen years ago) link

At home. On maternity leave. Baby not due until Boxing Day. She was around the other day on the Watercooler thread.

ailsa_xx (ailsa_xx), Thursday, 14 December 2006 15:22 (seventeen years ago) link

having a baby is the perfect birth control

We had a client in the shop whose two oldest childres were ten months apart. Yep. Ten months.

nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 14 December 2006 15:23 (seventeen years ago) link

OUCH.

Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Thursday, 14 December 2006 15:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Hello, I'm not Archel but her husband cleverly disguised as her. Just to let you know this this happened yesterday...
http://re2.farm1.static.flickr.com/126/322500370_e4d5d1e1d4_m.jpg
...hence no Archel.
Her name is Alice Elizabeth and she and her mum are both still in hospital being taken good care of. They're both doing very well.
Anyway they should be home soon and I'm sure Archel will be posting lots on this thread in the future.
I'll leave it at that for now. Sorry there's so few details in this post but I thought Arch would enjoy sharing all that stuff with you herself.
Hope you're all well,
Matt xxx

Archel (Archel), Friday, 15 December 2006 21:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Matt send lots of HUGGELZ and CONGRATS to Archel!!!!

nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 15 December 2006 21:38 (seventeen years ago) link

There were things about having two kids 21 months apart that were easier, but mostly I remember in the early years there was just so much stuff to deal with - diaper bags and toys and car seats and high chairs and changes of clothes. Wrangling all the material goods of two small people was occasionally overwhelming.

As the dad of two kids 21 months apart, this rings so many bells with me it's practically a campanologists' convention.

It's very tough at the moment; I'm not sure we'd have coped so far without the network of neighbourhood mums (people Pam met at the weekly drop-in centre when Ava was very young) who helped us out when Pam was in hospital and occasionally give her a break by taking Ava for an afternoon. Ava loves her sister very much but has a tendency to express it in a slightly unrestrained manner - the other day she almost gouged Tallulah's eyes out in her enthusiasm. I look forward to when the dynamic of their relationship is a bit different to the constantly dangerous scenario of the rambunctious 2-y-o running wild vs helpless 3-m-o tot who gurgles happily even when 2-y-o is dragging her off the couch to "play" with her.

Free time just vanishes when you have two, I find. One child might seem draining of your time and energy but you will pine for those days of just one kiddie. And, as Jaq says, the logistics of looking after/transporting/doing anything social with two is massively complicated vs one child.

No one should ever give you grief for relying on daycare or other outside help even if you have just the one child. Whatever helps you get by, whether financially or emotionally. Parenting seems to be this continuous balancing act between what you need to do to just to cope and what the prevailing expert opinion on any specific topic is telling you to do (whether feeding, sleep routine, weaning, toilet training, etc).

It's all worth it, though. I think.

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 18:58 (seventeen years ago) link

One of the big stressors with two kids is the constant monitoring of "fairness." Someone always feels like the unfavored child. Christmas is a nightmare of parity-calculation.

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael, STOP, don't make me doubt. ;-) I know what you mean, though, even though I'm not experiencing it yet. It scares me a little but I know that it'll only last two years... I think. Hope. :-)

I'll be 35 this summer

Hell, I'll be 34 when the second will be born. Do I care? Hell no, I wanted two and that's what I'll have. Hopefully. :-)

nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 22 February 2007 06:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes, but O. is also wee herself as opposed to the 9.5 year old I have, and um, you're married. Hi.

luna (luna), Thursday, 22 February 2007 23:51 (seventeen years ago) link


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