thumbsucker blues: sandbox parenting thead

Also bad is when you have to go through it all over again because you visited someplace where the tyke had to bunk with you (happened a couple of times visiting the in-laws for 1-2 weeks over the holidays). Even being in a crib in the same room can cause a relapse. (akm: get the crib out of your room!)

-- PPlains (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), Today 7:28 PM. (PPlains) (later)

Yay!!

Y'know, as cruel as this sounds: the kid is not gonna suffer emotional damage because you let him cry it out. I know this easier said than done, but, trust me, with a little ferberizing (or just plain crying it out) it'll be solved. Look at your kid, can he manage to be on his own for an hour? Yes? Well, do it. I was of the opinion that I couldn't let Ophelia cry a little but my husband stressed that I had to or she wouldn't be able to be on her own. I don't think I was that *bad*: I did leave her for a minute or so but being with him (instead of being a single parent for example) taught me that I wouldn't really fall in my mother's trap of forever being there for my daughter. I was so dependent on my mother that I had EXTREME tantrums when my mom wasn't there (day or night) up until the age of about 2,5 yrs old. I just have to remember what Ophelia can become and I know that a bit of crying will do her good. God, that makes it sounds as though I neglect her. Trust me, I don't! :-)

http://static.flickr.com/99/308612161_281bb50fe1_m.jpg

Yeah she does!

;-)

TOM E YOU BETTAH POST A PIC OF YR BEBE!

http://static.flickr.com/113/312049561_000ceda740.jpg?v=0

http://static.flickr.com/115/311524401_e392c0ccd2.jpg?v=0

http://static.flickr.com/113/312049558_567db474b8.jpg?v=0

chillin'in front of xmas tree!

Update! Ophelia in handknitted sweatah! Waddayasay? I even included a zippah.Hoera! Sleeves are a bit short though but I blame the teacher who changed the pattern. Harumph.

E4: I want to take boxing!
E3: How about if I just beat you up?
E4: Okay! Tiger style again?

I just found out my parents might be getting this for Ophelia. SHould I be worried?

It blows my mind that in this day and age anyone would consider smoking while pregnant acceptable.

We hope to get the kids out of the bed soon, of course. We only have a queen size bed, so it's a little crowded with the two babies. I suggested putting the bed in the garage and putting a king size mattress on the floor, but that was just too ghetto an idea for my wife.

A couple new pics:
http://static.flickr.com/127/320128244_16fd99dc76.jpg
http://static.flickr.com/131/317510856_4910fc3f7c.jpg

From the Flickr set

As for rules, yeah... good luck with that. You have to do what works with the kids you wind up with...

With Tallulah we had some "success" initially with her in her own crib in our room - sleeping reasonably well, one major feed per night. But lately she's not been doing so well - whether it's the cold she's had since Ava snotted her sisterly affection all over her in week one or the looming spectre of colic (she has digestive/gas issues way worse than Ava ever did) - we usually need her in the bed for her to sleep soundly for more than 30min at a time. Last night was an exception - she slept in the crib until 3:45am, thereafter (fitfully) in the bed.

Whether through jealousy or by chance, Ava now wants back in on the act. I think it's the final throes of teething - she wakes up wailing at 1am or so and we have to take her into our bed to calm her down. You can tell it's a real illicit treat for her - she's smiling to herself as she burrows into the pillows between Mum and Dad. If Tallulah's already in prime sandwich position, I have to take Ava downstairs or just arrange the two of them very carefully. Hope it doesn't become a nightly occurrence.

Our doctor told us the only documented cases of people rolling over and crushing their babies involve BOTH obesity and drugs/alcohol. Something like 80% of the world's population sleep with their infants in the bed.

Thing to watch out for: Keep the covers/comforters away from their head(s).

And of course, put down a "piddle pad" because babies be wettin'!

And when you get a C-Section, you're on "pelvic rest" for a while.

Really? Is it longer than the standard 6 weeks for vaginal births? (At 6 week post-partum checkup, my ob's standard comment is, "you can go back to doing anything legal...").

I know! I discovered my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me, but I can sort of brush that off cause, hey, it was the 70s and she was 18 yrs old. Still...

In re to lovemaking: I think one of the reasons I put Ophelia in her own room was that I prefered doing some hanky panky when she wasn't around. ;-)

having a baby is the perfect birth control

Our kid's going to daycare at six weeks. I sure hope you don't feel guilty about sending a one-year old to daycare!

It seems like so many people I know are pregnant now, and I'm finding that I really really really want another one. Clearly not going to happen, and come on, I'll be 35 this summer, I'm already at the "advanced maternal age" period of my life, but wow, I WANT ONE.

Learning to live with "yeah, probably not gonna have any more" is sort of sad and a little hard.

As the dad of two kids 21 months apart, this rings so many bells with me it's practically a campanologists' convention.

It's very tough at the moment; I'm not sure we'd have coped so far without the network of neighbourhood mums (people Pam met at the weekly drop-in centre when Ava was very young) who helped us out when Pam was in hospital and occasionally give her a break by taking Ava for an afternoon. Ava loves her sister very much but has a tendency to express it in a slightly unrestrained manner - the other day she almost gouged Tallulah's eyes out in her enthusiasm. I look forward to when the dynamic of their relationship is a bit different to the constantly dangerous scenario of the rambunctious 2-y-o running wild vs helpless 3-m-o tot who gurgles happily even when 2-y-o is dragging her off the couch to "play" with her.

Free time just vanishes when you have two, I find. One child might seem draining of your time and energy but you will pine for those days of just one kiddie. And, as Jaq says, the logistics of looking after/transporting/doing anything social with two is massively complicated vs one child.

No one should ever give you grief for relying on daycare or other outside help even if you have just the one child. Whatever helps you get by, whether financially or emotionally. Parenting seems to be this continuous balancing act between what you need to do to just to cope and what the prevailing expert opinion on any specific topic is telling you to do (whether feeding, sleep routine, weaning, toilet training, etc).

It's all worth it, though. I think.

I'll be 35 this summer

Hell, I'll be 34 when the second will be born. Do I care? Hell no, I wanted two and that's what I'll have. Hopefully. :-)