thumbsucker blues: sandbox parenting thead

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Congrats, Nath!

It seems like so many people I know are pregnant now, and I'm finding that I really really really want another one. Clearly not going to happen, and come on, I'll be 35 this summer, I'm already at the "advanced maternal age" period of my life, but wow, I WANT ONE.

Learning to live with "yeah, probably not gonna have any more" is sort of sad and a little hard.

luna (luna), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 18:05 (seventeen years ago) link

There were things about having two kids 21 months apart that were easier, but mostly I remember in the early years there was just so much stuff to deal with - diaper bags and toys and car seats and high chairs and changes of clothes. Wrangling all the material goods of two small people was occasionally overwhelming.

As the dad of two kids 21 months apart, this rings so many bells with me it's practically a campanologists' convention.

It's very tough at the moment; I'm not sure we'd have coped so far without the network of neighbourhood mums (people Pam met at the weekly drop-in centre when Ava was very young) who helped us out when Pam was in hospital and occasionally give her a break by taking Ava for an afternoon. Ava loves her sister very much but has a tendency to express it in a slightly unrestrained manner - the other day she almost gouged Tallulah's eyes out in her enthusiasm. I look forward to when the dynamic of their relationship is a bit different to the constantly dangerous scenario of the rambunctious 2-y-o running wild vs helpless 3-m-o tot who gurgles happily even when 2-y-o is dragging her off the couch to "play" with her.

Free time just vanishes when you have two, I find. One child might seem draining of your time and energy but you will pine for those days of just one kiddie. And, as Jaq says, the logistics of looking after/transporting/doing anything social with two is massively complicated vs one child.

No one should ever give you grief for relying on daycare or other outside help even if you have just the one child. Whatever helps you get by, whether financially or emotionally. Parenting seems to be this continuous balancing act between what you need to do to just to cope and what the prevailing expert opinion on any specific topic is telling you to do (whether feeding, sleep routine, weaning, toilet training, etc).

It's all worth it, though. I think.

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 18:58 (seventeen years ago) link

One of the big stressors with two kids is the constant monitoring of "fairness." Someone always feels like the unfavored child. Christmas is a nightmare of parity-calculation.

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 21 February 2007 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael, STOP, don't make me doubt. ;-) I know what you mean, though, even though I'm not experiencing it yet. It scares me a little but I know that it'll only last two years... I think. Hope. :-)

I'll be 35 this summer

Hell, I'll be 34 when the second will be born. Do I care? Hell no, I wanted two and that's what I'll have. Hopefully. :-)

nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 22 February 2007 06:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes, but O. is also wee herself as opposed to the 9.5 year old I have, and um, you're married. Hi.

luna (luna), Thursday, 22 February 2007 23:51 (seventeen years ago) link


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