CHICAGO: If Hepatitis C Were Attacking Your Face Instead of Your Liver You'd Be Doing Something About It

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oh, and that reminds me, I LOST MY FUCKING CHICAGO CARD PLUS!!!! i got on the bus this morning and touched my wallet to the rfid reader and nothing happened, so i went to take my card out of my wallet and it wasn't in there. so in addition to losing my card it cost me $6 to get to/from work today.

pissed off at myself about this.

otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:20 (seventeen years ago) link

I watched someone make and then eat a salami and mayonnaise sandwich and wash it down with a couple cans of Bud Light (which he then threw off the train) on the yellow line.

That's kind of awesome. Salami + balls.

whoop de doodle (kenan), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:21 (seventeen years ago) link

jenny: five years!

grbchv! (gbx), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:21 (seventeen years ago) link

there must be something there to support a branch of the cta, right?

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news2085.article.jpg

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh man, that blows. I thought I lost my driver's license when I went to Midway last week... I went to go through security and it wasn't there. They accepted my UofC staff ID, though, and I went around fuming about how I wasn't going to be able to go to bars in Nashville. Then I completely tore my wallet apart and found that it had somehow gotten into a pocket I never use and was completely hidden from view. WHEW.

danno martinez (danno martinez), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:22 (seventeen years ago) link

i can't read that.

er, xpost.

otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:23 (seventeen years ago) link

motherfucker. i need my 9 digit chicago card plus account number to retrieve a forgotten password? really? well that's very helpful if you want to log on BECAUSE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN CARD.

otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Okey doke. I'm super unfamiliar with pretty much anything west of Wacker and my directional impairedness, which I sometimes think borders on learning disability level impaired, combined with existing unfamiliarity and being out of sight of the lake always ratchets up my apprehension to unusual levels. Plus we watched Marathon Man last night and the part after he escapes from the Nazi dentist and goes running off into the New York night made me realize that if I'm ever kidnapped by Nazi dentists and I manage to escape I will probably have zero clue where I am, much less be able to figure out how to get somewhere familiar, especially if someone just drilled into my front tooth sans anesthesia.

Anyway, all that plus the potential of street harassment would assure that I took a cab. But if Oprah lives there, I'm cool. And Kenan, you'd be amazed at the perfectly benign circumstances under which I can get totally and completely lost.

Skokie is a pretty big 'burb.

Lance Rock (pullapartgirl), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:27 (seventeen years ago) link

i can't read that.

Neither can I. I was hoping the headline and graphic would get my point across.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:27 (seventeen years ago) link

you'd be amazed at the perfectly benign circumstances under which I can get totally and completely lost.

We need to get you a seeing eye dog. Or a seeing north dog. Erm.

whoop de doodle (kenan), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:30 (seventeen years ago) link

If you're this bad in Chicago, I'd hate to see you in London.

whoop de doodle (kenan), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:31 (seventeen years ago) link

But if Oprah lives there, I'm cool.

Well, her studios are around there, on Washington.

There are tons of food warehouses around there. If you see a place selling meat or produce, buy some. It's good and fresh and wholesale.

whoop de doodle (kenan), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:32 (seventeen years ago) link

ok, i logged on to my account (my username was an old email address) and it appears that no one has been using the card anyway so i'm hopeful it's somewhere in my apartment and not on the floor of the bar or on the sidewalk on western avenue.

jenny: stay away from boston if you can't navigate chicago.

otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:32 (seventeen years ago) link

I have a compass on my keychain, which has help immensely.

I've been to Boston a few times but I've never been left to my own navigatory devices. I am self-aware enough to never put myself in a situation where I have to get myself from point A to point B without assistance.

Lance Rock (pullapartgirl), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:34 (seventeen years ago) link

stay away from boston if you can't navigate chicago

Seconded. My trouble is that I'm so used to the grid system that anything even slightly old-world messes me up bad. "What do you mean this street goes north-northwest-ish??!"

whoop de doodle (kenan), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:38 (seventeen years ago) link

You should see my in Washington, DC. I have actually pulled over and cried, I've been so lost in that infernal city.

Lance Rock (pullapartgirl), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:38 (seventeen years ago) link

jenny: stay away from boston if you can't navigate chicago.
ha, i was just thinking that, reading jenny's post.

the grid system kind of freaked me out when i moved here. it was too easy, and seemed alien. i used to walk my dog for hours just trying to get lost, and never did.

JuliaA (JuliaA), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:42 (seventeen years ago) link

kenan, i lived in massachusetts for a quarter century and i never, ever heard a native give directions based on points on a compass. it was either left or right and then describe the road ("it's gonna take dip" or "you'll go up a hill" or "it'll hook around on you") or a landmark ("there's a giant boulder on your left, take the next right" or "last turn before the river").

i never understood how people could know what direction they were going until i realized that not all streets were once puritan-era cow paths.

otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Let's get lost, lost in each other's arms

Let's get lost, let them send out alarms

And though they'll think us rather rude

Let's tell the world we're in that crazy mood

Let's defrost, in a romantic mist

Let's get crossed, off everybody's list

To celebrate this night we found each other

Darling, let's get lost

whoop de doodle (kenan), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Jenny is right: Skokie is like the 10th or 11th largest suburb in Chicago, depending on whether you consider Aurora and Joliet suburbs.

I'd suggest that people take the el to Skokie for the Old Orchard mall, except the Yellow Line doesn't actually extend that far. Therefore, I'm sticking with my Jewish conspiracy angle.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:47 (seventeen years ago) link

kenan, i lived in massachusetts for a quarter century and i never, ever heard a native give directions based on points on a compass.

I'd imagine not. It would make no sense. But even looking at a map of Boston or London or some such gives me heart palpitations.

whoop de doodle (kenan), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Kevin, so you mean it's really like this?

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:49 (seventeen years ago) link

why is jean luc shooting chunk?

whoop de doodle (kenan), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:50 (seventeen years ago) link

kenan, i lived in massachusetts for a quarter century and i never, ever heard a native give directions based on points on a compass. it was either left or right and then describe the road ("it's gonna take dip" or "you'll go up a hill" or "it'll hook around on you") or a landmark ("there's a giant boulder on your left, take the next right" or "last turn before the river").

That's the kind of directions I can understand!!! Probably because I grew up in an area built on Puritan cow paths. It wasn't until I moved here to Chicago that I even made an effort to figure out cardinal directions (hence compass).

Lance Rock (pullapartgirl), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:52 (seventeen years ago) link

That's what it was like in Ohio too. "Turn left at the Sunoco next to the drive-thru."

Armando Grouse (Armando ), Monday, 11 December 2006 17:57 (seventeen years ago) link

It makes sense in areas with no big geographical feature to use as an anchor point. Rehoboth Beach had the Atlantic Ocean but I still never put two and two together. People just didn't give directions that way.

They would, however, call streets by unofficial names. So instead of like, Route 9 they would tell you to take King Cole Farm Road or something.

Lance Rock (pullapartgirl), Monday, 11 December 2006 18:23 (seventeen years ago) link

I feel weird, sleepy, and kind of sick. NOOOO!!!!

Navigating in DC made me cry and cry once too, and Nick was the one driving. There are all these fucking turn-arounds like at the Arc de Triumph. They screw with your head I tell you!

Calico (calico), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

hey chicago! does anyone know if i can somehow redeem my chicago card plus for the cash? i obviously don't use it anymore . . . i should dig up the paperwork they gave me & ask the CTA I suppose.

sweet tater (sweet tater), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:22 (seventeen years ago) link

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELSEY

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:26 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm still bad with cardinal directions. In Madison and Milwaukee I'm cool with E&W because there are major freeways running those directions and pointing at lakes, but I always get N&S mixed up. I feel stupid when I ask someone for directions (say in Chicago) and they say "get off at this exit and go north" and I'm all "so would that be left or right??"

JordanC (JordanC), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:27 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks, john! did you get my email reply?

sweet tater (sweet tater), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes! I only mentioned it here because I wanted other folks to know!

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:29 (seventeen years ago) link

jordan: i am the SAME way. especially here in mpls b/c at least in chicago if i know where to lake is, i know where east is. here . . . well, let's just say i get totally confused a lot.

sweet tater (sweet tater), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:29 (seventeen years ago) link

john, it is EXACTLY like that.

otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:29 (seventeen years ago) link

i just thought my reply was funny. i was tooting my own horn there.

sweet tater (sweet tater), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

HBK!

danno martinez (danno martinez), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Re "What's the Best Way?": Does anyone remember who was actually in that skit? I know one of 'em was Sandler.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks, dan! i'm 29 today . . . my brother made a point of telling me that it's the last year i can say i'm "in my twenties."

sweet tater (sweet tater), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh wait, it sez here.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:34 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost I've got that one coming up in just over 2 months... sigh. I'm sure my sis will say the same.

danno martinez (danno martinez), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Happy Birthday, Kelsey!!

Calico (calico), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:36 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks, sarah!
oh! i've been thinking about you lately b/c there's a woman in minneapolis who does the craft fair circuit & she makes sock monkeys! i'm partial to yours, of course, but some of hers have two heads! AND she sells them for a shitton of money...

sweet tater (sweet tater), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:37 (seventeen years ago) link

hey waitaminute...

"Tony Vallencourt: Boston to Nashua? You goin' up there to buy liquor pally?

Stanley Sperrow: Aya, no sales tax.

Tony Vallencourt: Alright, you just gotta shoot up 95, but watch your ass crossin' over the border. Those state troopers are outa control.

Stanley Sperrow: That's correct Tony! "

if you're going from boston to nashua you wouldn't take fucking 95, that follows the coast going northeast, you'd need to take 128 to ROUTE 3, take the lowell connector then cross the bridge at 110. fuckin' morons.

sorry for perpetuating a sterotype but i'm getting cranky about stuff like this in my old age. i was sitting in a bar this weekend yelling at someone who was doing a piss-poor job of parallel parking outside. it actually made me angry that they couldn't do it.

your favorite cranky old man,
ktr

otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:38 (seventeen years ago) link

were they wrong about the dunkin' donuts as well?

JuliaA (JuliaA), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

yelling at someone who was doing a piss-poor job of parallel parking outside.

Hahahahaha I do this from my kitchen window at people parking on my street all the time.

danno martinez (danno martinez), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Of course I do it more because they leave ridiculous amounts of room around their cars and cost other people (who actually live on the street -- most of the bad parkers are commuters going to the train) precious, precious parking spaces.

danno martinez (danno martinez), Monday, 11 December 2006 19:56 (seventeen years ago) link

for a long time i used to say that if i could have a super power it would be to squish cars together as to create additional parking spaces. although i need that power less often here, i still think it would make for a great party trick!

sweet tater (sweet tater), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:03 (seventeen years ago) link

HBKelsey!

JordanC (JordanC), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:06 (seventeen years ago) link

HAPPY BIRFDAY KELSEY!
29 is a decent year, albeit an overtly yucky prime number, but remember: when you complete your 29th year you are actually beginning your 30th. So you're on day one of your 30th year, starting...NOW.

Armando Grouse (Armando ), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

All things considered, I'd rather be 24 again. That was a good fucking year.

danno martinez (danno martinez), Monday, 11 December 2006 20:10 (seventeen years ago) link


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