CHICAGO: If Hepatitis C Were Attacking Your Face Instead of Your Liver You'd Be Doing Something About It

The driver's ed situation in more detail: There was supposed to be a two-hour Homecoming assembly at the end of the day, but at about noon it was cancelled because the school had received a threat of gang violence, and everyone was told that we'd remain in our 6th period class for the rest of the day instead. Since 6th period for me was driver's ed, I was like fuck this. (To be fair, I didn't realize that we were going to have a quiz, which I then received a zero on and had to scramble to get my grade back up to an A by the end of the semester, or else I'd probably have reconsidered.) I asked myself where I'd rather be during 6th period, and I thought, Well, EJ has another section of AP English right now. I showed up, explained myself, and she was like, "All right, JC, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into," and the class -- many of whom I was friends with (as opposed to the mouth-breathing sophomores in driver's ed) spent the rest of the day talking about current events and stuff.

(Ha, xpost: Dan and I both used the word "mouth-breathing.")

I should have mentioned that AP courses kept me away from the mouth-breathing teachers, too.

Word.

People who delight in not only knowing the answer, but in the subsequent delight in their teacher's faces when they present it so eloquently, as they always do.

What I hated was all the teenagers around me. I had 2 or 3 friends throughout my high school career, and even they didn't last. I didn't even take part in lunch, but instead sat in the library writing, stealing books and cutting pages out of the encylopedia. (I still have a color wheel from the World Book.)

Looking back this is probably bad because I was actually suffering from a pretty serious depression. Also religion was ruining my life because I would have probably joined some kind of club but I wasn't allowed to go to Saturday meetings.

xpost-- I had a good rep with the teachers too. I got to use the faculty bathroom.

The reason I had friends when I was a freshman was that I got the attention of the hippest senior whose name is T0r D@ahl (cool name even). He pimped me to the school full of assholes. Then he graduated and my 1 real friend moved away and I was a loser again. Goodbye yellow brick road;adlksfjf;askldjf.

I'll called in scared, "I'm afraid I can't make it today."

I had REALLY big hair in middle school. Like Kevin Ry5.

The rest of the time I looked like this.

Would you not go NAMBLA on that?

http://static.flickr.com/52/136277970_1b35557155.jpg

I am not one of those people who is forever wishing they could go back to school. I'm happy working and I don't think I ever want to be a student again.

So now I look like a Jew?

Yes, but that's not news.

Another reason I disliked driver's ed was because I was the youngest kid in my grade and so I had to take it as a junior instead of a sophomore. I felt like an idiot.

Once saved a baby porpoise that was beached on the shores of Malibu. When reporters tried to cover the story, he asked to remain anonymous.

A I D S H I V
i cannot wait to die
can’t you tell
can’t you tell
can’t you tell

never finish my degree chachi
never play with the Pogues
throw my head out the window and
cement my feet into the dark

Same here, dawg. See also: turning 21.

Dang That's Good Pizza
Turn Your Home Kitchen Into The Top Pizza Place In Town!www.PizzeriaSecrets.com

Let Your Dog Use WizDog
It's Easy & Quick To Train Your Dog Simple, Low-Cost Housebreaking Aid
www.jnet-consulting.com

Every journey starts with a single step, even if we're talking about a journey from the door to a king-sized mattress with rubber sheets. It's easy to stumble on what to say when you're composing that rousing first email to the OutPersonals member who inspired warm fuzzies in your short-and-curlies, but keep a few tips in mind.

More importantly, say what inspired you to write in the first place. Even if that's only the image of their majestic and awe-inspiring Groin Serpent[...]

Keep your first email a little on the short side.... Save the bit about being able to tie your tallywacker into a Winsor Knot for later.