prison rape

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well, it would reduce tearage

― the kwisatz bacharach (sanskrit), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Well yeah, indirectly right? I just thought you meant if everyone's buttholes were inflamed and leaking that the inmates' collective rape-want would be subdued on account of the unsavory circumstances. But you're saying Olestra actually works to toughen anuses up?

― iiiijjjj (iiiijjjj), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:36 (seventeen years ago) link

sorry, i signed an NDA.

― the kwisatz bacharach (sanskrit), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:43 (seventeen years ago) link

I think mike means lubricate.

― dan selzer (dan selzer), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh. Seems like regular-fat potato chips would do a better job of that though. Are there any potato chip eating sodomites here that can help settle this debate?

― iiiijjjj (iiiijjjj), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:52 (seventeen years ago) link

I would like to thank the last three posters for making this thread awesome.

― Mr. Que (Party with me Punker), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Regular-fat potato chips don't cause leakage. Olestra chips do. I'm leaving this conversation right now.

― dan selzer (dan selzer), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 21:57 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah Olestra chips cause leakage, but does leakage necessarily = lubrication? Diarrhea is mostly a water-based substance! I'm no molecular physicist here, but it seems to me that stool loaded with digested Lay's Sour Cream and Onion potato chips would probably coat the surface of the anus and yield much slicker, smoother physical properties.

― iiiijjjj (iiiijjjj), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:01 (seventeen years ago) link

the idea is that olestra is a fat-like substance that is not digestible.

― Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone (kenan), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:04 (seventeen years ago) link

You guys are making me so hungry. Stop it!

― PPlains (PPlains), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh OK, I get it then. Olestra will lubricate just as well, but also aids in creating a poopier, less enticing anus, therefore establishing it as an equally delicious rape deterrent superior to regular Lay's Sour Cream and Onion chips.

― iiiijjjj (iiiijjjj), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Problem solved!

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:09 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html

― Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone (kenan), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Pringles® rape

― amon (amon), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:13 (seventeen years ago) link

"once you pop..."

― amon (amon), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:13 (seventeen years ago) link

http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/728/3866542623dc0e38155xn0.jpg

(I thieved from you ;___;)

― PPlains (PPlains), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:18 (seventeen years ago) link

I could go for some Flamin' Hot Anal Cheetos, Cool Felch Doritos, or Chili Cheese Corn and Peas Fritos

― iiiijjjj (iiiijjjj), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:19 (seventeen years ago) link

you should go eat those then

― coz larry (bundgee), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:26 (seventeen years ago) link

today my coworker showed me pringles with trivia printed on them

― jw (ex machina), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:29 (seventeen years ago) link

You mean, imprinted on the actual Pringle chip itself?

― PPlains (PPlains), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:40 (seventeen years ago) link

i could see doing that in the ridges of ruffles

― amon (amon), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:56 (seventeen years ago) link

yes

― jw (ex machina), Wednesday, 14 February 2007 22:57 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.ubu.com/film/genet.html

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 15 February 2007 01:49 (seventeen years ago) link

(i.e. mandatory minimum sentencing for non-violent criminals)

-- bell labs (lindsay...), February 14th, 2007. (bell_labs)

maybe you and i are talking about different things, but the supreme court just recently deemed unconstitutional the mandatory sentencing guidelines. it happened about 6 months before my date. had it not, i was pretty much surely destined for prison. i don't want to make this thread about me, but damn, that fact still astounds me.

― hm (modestmickey), Thursday, 15 February 2007 03:56 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't like the idea of prison ape anymore than anyone else. But if Gorilla Grodd continues his crime sprees what choice do we have?

― a bulldog fed a cookie shaped like a kitten (austin), Thursday, 15 February 2007 04:20 (seventeen years ago) link

after some googling, i can only find one thing actually being done:
http://apps.leg.wa.gov/billinfo/summary.aspx?bill=1003&year=2007

a proposed bill in washington state to basically test for HIV in prisons.

here's some wa state conservative blog that is outraged by these "felon friendly" bills by democrats:
http://soundpolitics.com/archives/007997.html

― hm (modestmickey), Thursday, 15 February 2007 04:32 (seventeen years ago) link

5 NEW SECTION. Sec. 1. (1) The legislature finds that there is a
6 disproportionately high rate of HIV and AIDS among incarcerated
7 persons. Approximately twenty-five percent of the HIV-positive
8 population of the United States passes through correctional facilities
9 each year. The bureau of justice statistics has determined that the
10 rate of confirmed AIDS cases is three times hig11 offenders than in the general population.

― hm (modestmickey), Thursday, 15 February 2007 04:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Copyright 2006 The Seattle Times Company
The Seattle Times
November 14, 2006 Tuesday
Fourth Edition
SECTION: ROP ZONE; News; Pg. A1
LENGTH: 1390 words
HEADLINE: Rare criminal trial focuses attention on "huge problem" of prison rape
BYLINE: Jennifer Sullivan, Seattle Times staff reporter
BODY:

Tremayne Francis is a cellmate's worst nightmare.
Convicted in 1998 of raping two young men while working as a martial-arts instructor in Pierce County, Francis was sent to prison for nine years. But even behind the razor wire, Francis used extortion and violence to force fellow inmates to have sex with him and raped two men new to prison, according to prison records.
When confronted by prison staff, Francis, 34, claimed he had a multiple-personality disorder and denied the rapes, claiming the sex was consensual, records show. Though found guilty of both rapes in prison hearings, the worst punishment he endured was solitary confinement and victim-awareness classes each time ending up back in the general prison population.
But Francis is facing a criminal trial this week in Snohomish County Superior Court for the 2005 rape of an inmate at the Monroe Correctional Complex, the first such prosecution since the state enacted a new federal policy aimed at reducing prison rape. Because of how unusual it is for prison rapes to become the focus of a criminal prosecution, the case has drawn the attention of the state Department of Corrections, as well as prosecutors and inmate-rights groups nationwide.
"We've never had a prisoner-on-prisoner sexual assault prosecuted in this county before. It just doesn't happen very often," said Matt Baldock, the Snohomish County deputy prosecutor who will try Francis. "I have not heard from anybody who has prosecuted a case like this before."

Baldock says he faces an uphill battle in trying to win a conviction against Francis. He's certain many jurors seated before him this week will wonder why they should even care what happens to prison inmates.

― hm (modestmickey), Thursday, 15 February 2007 05:09 (seventeen years ago) link

http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/728/3866542623dc0e38155xn0.jpg
U GONNA GET RAPED

― and what (ooo), Thursday, 15 February 2007 05:19 (seventeen years ago) link

(xpost to mickey) most judges still follow the sentencing guidelines. booker is even less of an issue in white collar crime, which is what she's referring to.

― coz larry (bundgee), Thursday, 15 February 2007 06:16 (seventeen years ago) link

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