only destroy one: christmas song

Sorry, I just hate that song.
And whatever song George Strait sings in the little 30-second commercial promoting his new Christmas album. I forget the song (one of the classics, of course), but he just sings it verbatim, over and over. ay yi yi.

-- step hen faps (curtis.stephen...), December 12th, 2006. (later)

Thirded.

Honorable Mention goes to "The Twelve Days of Christmas", the holiday version of "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall".

Take it back, there's one other version I like -- the Squirrels, in which they sing the lyrics to the music of America's "A Horse With No Name." Long story.

The Hawaii Calls Orchestra & Chorus - "Numbah One Day Of Christmas" is a pretty enjoyable version of the 12 Days Of Christmas.

I still like the Eartha Kitt version of "Santa Baby."

OK, destroy "Fairytale of New York"

Popwise, yeh Santa Baby is just unsettling, as is I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus.

Destroy: Step Into Christmas.

That song can send me into a killing frenzy just in the first few bars.

All Cliff Richard Xmas-themed hits, surely:
Little Town - Twinkle twinkle little star NOW I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU ARE. Noel Edmonds loved it and thought it would be 1982's Xmas number one. It peaked at number eleven.
Mistletoe And Wine - Christmas time! Drink driving fine! Children singing gies five Woodbine!
Saviour's Day - and to think Justify My Love was at number two over Xmas; it's depressing.
We Should Be Together - "I was ROBBED! All singles above me in the Christmas chart were inferior apart from Queen and Elton/George!"
THE BASTARD MILLENNIUM CUNT PRAYER NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST TEN FUCKING SECONDS AGO

I side with Ned here, though.

It is also in part a ripoff of Bill Barclay's "Twelve Days Of Christmas" which, if you were growing up in Glasgow throughout the '70s, was inescapable (Scotland's Xmas number one in 1974).

xpost

what's with yelling "FOUR COLLIE BIRDS" till you get nodes? who made that up?

xxpost

Yes, Frank Kelly's "Christmas Countdown" charted in '83, so it was in the charts at the same time as that other seasonal perennial, "What Are We Gonna Get For 'Er Indoors" by George Cole and Dennis Waterman.

Another punk rock Christmas record, this British EP from 1981 features four songs by four different bands, two of which are pop Christmas covers and the other two holiday chestnuts. The 4 Skins hype up Elton John's "Step Into Christmas" and the Business do a straight cover of Slade's "Merry Christmas Everybody." If Irving Berlin thought Elvis ruined "White Christmas," The Gonads' version probably helped finish him off for good, and Max Splodge does a nearly incomprehensible "12 Days of Christmas" in which the lyrics are changed to... something else entirely, near as I can tell.

http://www.mistletunes.com/punk.html

Jasper Carrot.

Can any Americans out there confirm the prominence of Dominic The Italian Christmas Donkey?

i was going to destroy that fucking annoying and ubiquitous slade one, the one which goes "so here it is merry xmas, everybody's having fun" even if NO ONE PATENTLY IS, entirely due to the ENFORCED JOLLITY of that dreadful tune, but k8 reminded me of:

Destroy destroy destroy the Paul McCartney "simply having a wonderful xmas time" song.

and that may be even worse.

no, actually, not worse. DESTROY SLADE.

strangely, i am in agreement. perhaps people would like it more if it wasn't by Carey (i probably would too).

Are you anticipating the "Stars in yer eyes" Celeb special where Mark Radcliffe becomes Shane MaGowan, presumably doing "Fairytale"?

So it has to be understood in context.

As opposed to "Chestnuts roasting, vicars calling, etc" blah of xmas fayre.

Then they played "Step into xmas" Elton, everyone stopped and chatted.

They went onto "MerryChristmas Darling" Carpenters, they sstarted to drift.

So played Slade again, they all returned, sang/danced.

So chatted and gave away some freebies and played Slade again.

Then it was time for the fireworks/laser show, so all sighed with relief.

*whistling tumbleweed*

Dismal

But Mud - Lonely This Christmas, while being depressing is very good.

Much as I love the Beach Boys, their Christmas songs are poor.

The Mud record would have been very good if Les Gray hadn't insisted on camping it all up.

Have you heard the Beach Boys Xmas songs from the '70s, WL?

So it has to be understood in context.

this makes it infinitely worse

If Dave Hill had been a girl you would have loved it.

Do people really still, in this day and age, hate the Mariah Carey 'all i want for christmas is you'? It's so heartening and hopeful! Though the fucking weird version on her greatest-hits, with Jermaine Dupri and Lil Bow Wow, should be destroyed with maximum prejudice - all the tenderness and excitement has been sucked right out.

That's kind of what every guest rap on a love song tends to do.

If Dave Hill had been a girl you would have loved it.

it's one step away from bloody 'candle in the wind'

to deliberately set out to capture a national mood is the height of coke-addled arrogance (in the bad way). when this is combined with office party style enforced fun the result can only ever be the worst thing ever

if it were only a guest rap I think I might like it? but she rerecorded her vocals, and they're nowhere near as good; there's this tinny beat which in other circumstances would be nineties-jam awesome but here is glaringly out-of-place; these strange gabbled-garbled backing vocals blurt in and blare over everything and are gone as fast as they appeared (and they're oddly inconsistent, too, in the style of singing they go for); and jermaine dupri's contribution seems mostly to consist of going 'uh-huh. baby.' like he's channeling puffy in 'hypnotise' -- and I'm conscious that all of this is making it sound really good, and maybe it could have been, but the alchemy went wrong and instead it's hateful.

I don't get this Santa Baby hate, there's so much worse out there.

paris barely offends on the guest rap level! best guest rap of recent years = ti on amerie's 'touch' (not a xmas song unfortunately)

Guest rappers should be gift-wrapped, Waldo Jeffers-style.

The Christmas song I like the most is actually that weird Paul McCartney one - it sounds all drugged and sped-up and stressed the way people actually tend to feel at the holidays.

Destroy = anodyne Ronan Keating version of Fairytale of New York. Surely a front-runner for most pointless thing ever recorded.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_K2aRFhkidw

Remember Stevie Wonder's warning to us all from Christmas 1984 - "Don't Drive Drunk."

I dig the Tom Petty Christmas tune and I kind of don't mind the Macca one.

I kind of can't stand The Boss's "Santa Clause Is Coming To Town". There was a time in my youth I enjoyed it, but somewhere over the past 10 or 15 years something must have happened, because it gives me the cringes to hear now.

No, I don't think so. I have the original christmas album, but are they on the recentish one?

OK, stop the presses, I've heard this now and we have a winner! "You heathens who microwave popcorn and watch films on DVD and use other new-fangled technology that old cnuts like me can only tangentially understand can understand Christmas too!"

Oh god, you're so right. Please don't try to make Santa "cool" and "sexy". Learn the lesson of Captain Bird's Eye!

Oh God, that one is vile; but to say more would invoke The Tim Ellison Demon.
-- Alfred Soto (soto.alfre...) (webmail), December 12th, 2006 4:23 PM.

No, it's not really that great (tho not "vile"), but "Yesterday, today was tomorrow and tomorrow, today will be yesterday" IS A GREAT FUCKING LYRIC.

-- Tim Ellison is number one proponent of Beatle!!!Mania!!! on nu-ILX (timelliso...) (webmail), December 12th, 2006 7:36 PM. (tim ellison) (link)

since when has speaking the bleeding obvious meant a great lyric?
-- I am the best lyrocost since Dylan (papiermachealamphibia...) (webmail), December 12th, 2006 7:40 PM.

SINCE I POPPED OUT OF THE WOMB AND POINTED UP WITH MY INDEX FINGER AND SAID, "THE SUN IS IN THE SKY" - THAT'S WHEN. GOT IT NOW?

"Fairytale in New York" is the only good Christmas song ever.

Any idea who(m) by?

Mistletoe & Wine has to be the winner, particularly for Cliff's dancing when singing, which involves him wildly swinging one of his arms and gesticualting. It brings to mind how I imagine Silvio Berlusconi in his cruise ship crooner days, except INFINITELY WORSE. (rant over).

*crawls away to hide my head in familial shame*

Also the phenomenon of singers "interpreting" christmas songs: "Gone a-way-yay eeeiiis the blue-ue-bird, here to stay-ay-ee-yay is...the...new bird"

I feel like this about "interpretations" of most standards. Just fucking sing it. I'm looking at you, Krall.

destroy em all

my neighbors really love christmas music. it makes me feel like i live across the hall from lingbert.

http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd118/embarchie/1292012898-snoop-dogg-smoking-a-blunt-for-the-holidays-9116-1291929541-27.jpg