Russell Brand to host the Brit awards

Last episode of Russell Brand's Got Issues on E4: 58,000 people
Last episode of his prime time C4 talk show: 400,000

HE'S LESS POPULAR THAN NATHAN FUCKING BARLEY

It saw James Blunt named as best pop act, the Arctic Monkeys winning the breakthrough prize and Coldplay's Speed of Sound taking the single of the year award.

Last year's ceremony was hosted by another BBC Radio 2 DJ, Chris Evans.

This answers "How did RB get it?" and also "Blimey, this year was better, wasn't it? WASN'T IT?"

(Please tell me Liam Gallagher and Russell Brand aren't mates or something!)

"Russel's a mate, he's a bit cheeky but there's no harm in him, really."

winehouse? lallen?

he had allen on his show and licked her talentless arse.

-- M Grout (mark.grou...), December 4th, 2006.

The very one.

The establishment Should be tutting and puffing the awards that go to actually vital and interesting recipients.

Not celebrating another Annie Lennox gong. (although, remember how the Eurythmics never got any as they weren't a group and couldn't be counted as a solo singer either)

Thesedays, we're all cool, trendy, with-it and funky. Even the accountants. Especially the accountants.

I always used to love that bloke who always came on with his two red setters.

3 Selected famous and infamous Brit Award incidents
3.1 Ronnie Wood vs Brandon Block (2000)
3.2 Robbie Williams vs Liam Gallagher (2000)
3.3 Belle & Sebastian beat Steps to best newcomer award (1999)
3.4 Chumbawamba throw water over John Prescott (1998)
3.5 Jarvis Cocker’s stage invasion during Michael Jackson’s Earth Song (1996)
3.6 The KLF, a machine gun and a dead sheep (1992)
3.7 The Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood "car crash" (1989)

ihttp://unit.bjork.com/specials/pics/misc/PJHarvey.jpg

Awards show HAVE to be live to hold any interest whatsoever

Sue Lawley wasn't it? Back when it was the, er, Nationwide Rock & Pop Awards.

male
ROBBIE WILLIAMS*
JAMES MORRISON
LEMAR
PAOLO NUTINI
THOM YORKE

female
SANDI THOM
AMY WINEHOUSE*
LILY ALLEN
EMMA BUNTON
JAMELIA

group
RAZORLIGHT
THE KOOKS / THE FEELING
KEANE
MUSE
THE ARCTIC MONKEYS*

album
RAZORLIGHT
KEANE
ROBBIE WILLIAMS
MUSE
THE ARCTIC MONKEYS*

single
RAZORLIGHT - AMERICA
THE KOOKS - NAIVE
MUSE - SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE
LILY ALLEN - SMILE
GNARLS BARKLEY - CRAZY*

breakthrough
THE KOOKS
THE FEELING
GNARLS BARKLEY*
PAOLO NUTINI
JAMES MORRISON

urban
LEMAR
GNARLS BARKLEY
THE STREETS
ALESHA
BASEMENT JAXX*

rock
RAZORLIGHT
THE FRATELLIS
KEANE
MUSE
THE ARCTIC MONKEYS*

live
ROBBIE WILLIAMS
MUSE*
GNARLS BARKLEY
KEANE
THE ARCTIC MONKEYS

pop
GIRLS ALOUD
WESTLIFE
ROBBIE WILLIAMS
MCFLY*
THE PET SHOP BOYS

int male
AKON
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE*
MEAT LOAF
BOB SINCLAR
P DIDDY

int female
PINK
NELLY FURTADO*
BEYONCE
SHAKIRA
NERINA PALLOT

int group
SCISSOR SISTERS*
THE KILLERS
THE RACONTEURS
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

int album
SCISSOR SISTERS*
THE KILLERS
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
BEYONCE
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS

int break
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE*
ORSON
THE RACONTEURS
NERINA PALLOT
NE*YO

Muse COULD dislodge AMs for some awards and Snow Patrol may oust The Kooks or The Feeling for some noms tho it would be funny if they did end up overlooked completely (not that the Kooks or Feeling or any better).

Riveting stuff!

British Female Solo Artist
Artist
Amy Winehouse
Corinne Bailey Rae
Jamelia
Lily Allen
Nerina Pallot

British Group
Arctic Monkeys
Kasabian
Muse
Razorlight
Snow Patrol

British Album
Amy Winehouse Back to Black
Arctic Monkeys Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Lily Allen Alright, Still
Muse Black Holes And Revelations
Snow Patrol Eyes Open

British Single Shortlist
Corinne Bailey Rae Put Your Records On Eliminated (Round 1)
The Feeling Fill My Little World Nominated
James Morrison You Give Me Something Eliminated (Round 2)
The Kooks She Moves In Her Own Way Eliminated (Round 1)
Leona Lewis A Moment Like This Eliminated (Round 2)
Lily Allen Smile Eliminated (Round 2)
Razorlight America Nominated
Sandi Thom I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker Eliminated (Round 1)
Snow Patrol Chasing Cars Nominated
Take That Patience Nominated
Will Young All Time Love Nominated

British Breakthrough Act
Corinne Bailey Rae
The Fratellis
James Morrison
The Kooks
Lily Allen

British Live Act
George Michael
Guillemots
Kasabian
Muse
Robbie Williams

International Male Solo Artist
Beck
Bob Dylan
Damien Rice
Jack Johnson
Justin Timberlake

International Female Solo Artist
Beyoncé
Cat Power
Christina Aguilera
Nelly Furtado
Pink

International Group
The Flaming Lips
Gnarls Barkley
The Killers
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Scissor Sisters

International Album
Bob Dylan Modern Times
Gnarls Barkley St Elsewhere
Justin Timberlake FutureSex/LoveSounds
The Killers Sam's Town
Scissor Sisters Ta-Dah

International Breakthrough Act
Gnarls Barkley
Orson
The Raconteurs
Ray Lamontagne
Wolfmother

Outstanding Contribution To Music
Artist Presenter
Oasis Ringo Starr

________________________________________________

RUNNING ORDER

Start 8pm Finish 10pm

RUSSELL BRAND WELCOMES

PERFORMANCE: SCISSOR SISTERS - I DON'T FEEL LIKE DANCING

AWARD: BRITISH LIVE ACT, PRESENTED BY KEITH ALLEN

PERFORMANCE: SNOW PATROL - CHASING CARS

AWARD: BRITISH BREAKTHROUGH ACT, PRESENTED BY JARVIS COCKER

AWARD: INTERNATIONAL BREAKTHROUGH ACT, PRESENTED BY TONI COLLETTE

PERFORMANCE: AMY WINEHOUSE - REHAB

AWARD: BRITISH MALE SOLO ARTIST, PRESENTED BY JOSS STONE

AWARD: INTERNATIONAL MALE SOLO ARTIST, PRESENTED BY ERIN O'CONNER AND ROLAND MOURET

PERFORMANCE: THE KILLERS - “WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG"

AWARD: BRITISH FEMALE SOLO ARTIST, PRESENTED BY JO WHILEY

AWARD: INTERNATIONAL FEMALE SOLO ARTIST, PRESENTED BY RICKY WILSON

PERFORMANCE: TAKE THAT - “PATIENCE"

AWARD: BRITISH GROUP, PRESENTED BY ANTHONY HEAD

AWARD:INTERNATIONAL GROUP, PRESENTED BY SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR AND STEVEN TYLER

PEFORMANCE: RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS -“DANI CALIFORNIA"

AWARD: INTERNATIONAL ALBUM, PRESENTED BY SIMON PEGG AND NICK FROST

PERFORMANCE: CORRINE BAILEY RAE - “PUT YOUR RECORDS ON"

AWARD: BRITISH SINGLE (VOTED LIVE ON AIR BY VIEWERS), PRESENTED BY ALLEN CARR

AWARD: MASTERCARD BRITISH ALBUM, PRESENTED BY SEAN BEAN

PEFORMANCE: OASIS - “CIGARETTES & ALCOHOL"/“MEANING OF SOUL"/“MORNING GLORY"/DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER"/“ROCK AND ROLL STAR"

_______________________________________

Wow.

British Male Solo Artist
James Morrison

British Female Solo Artist
Corinne Bailey Rae

British Group
Arctic Monkeys

British Album
Snow Patrol Eyes Open

British Single Shortlist
Take That Patience

British Breakthrough Act
Lily Allen

British Live Act
Robbie Williams

International Male Solo Artist
Jack Johnson

International Female Solo Artist
Pink

International Group
Scissor Sisters

International Album
The Killers Sam's Town

International Breakthrough Act
Gnarls Barkley

So far...

"You are sadly mistaken, it's all Arctic Monkeys round their way."

No it fuckin' ain't.

Sadly I don't think anyone got my Sting-Accountants joke.

And the rest was almost as embarrassing as the Mick/sam one.

all of the music was uniformly bad, all of the winners were vile privately educated corporate drones with shit music, but the funny thing was how in awe of the mid-90s it was. nelly furtado said her favourite acts were all british -- pulp, blur, postishead... a bit like saying your fave producer is timbaland i suppose.

but with oasis and take that on board too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkKhe8j0G2c

xp

I wacthed it, or started watching it, because "I am interested in pop music".

i like to know what all the hip kids are listening to.

i did watch the daily show during some of the brits.

i think joss was in an american movie. could be trying it as an actress.

surely you knew that already

It's sort of why I switched off after a bit.

And I suppose it's why I kept flicking back from time to time.

I just couldn't get into Bolton and Arsenal, although I'm sure it was quite good.

The audience seemed quite shocked at Russell B taking the piss out of Robbie W.

Fern "I love Oasis, me!" Cotton.

Fearne's question standard = "What was your favourite moment of tonight" to every winner who then replied "winning this, woargh!!!!" and five mins later eventually got round to "oh Amy Winehouse's song was um quite good"

I didn't watch it, I watched Bolton-Arsenal. Gilberto's penalty was funnier than anything RB could produce.

Expert analysis from the BBC:

Oasis, who took the outstanding contribution to music award, performed several songs.

Standing ovation

Their performance, which was so loud it could be felt under foot, got everyone up dancing, and some were even up on the tables.

Oasis sang a selection of their best hits on stage

Fred Rigele travelled all the way from Austria just to see his idols perform.

"I'm mad for Oasis," he said. "They were the best band today, the whole hall gave them a standing ovation."

There were some that were disappointed with the Gallagher brothers though.

"I thought Liam might have caused a bit of trouble, but no such luck," said Sarah House from Reading.

Noel Gallagher was good on Newsnight.

xp

I can't help but feel you might have taken this a bit personally

so anyway now oasis are the old cunts, but not even famously 'lippy' songstress lily allen, famously talentless alcoholic amy winehouse and famously shirty dickbags kasabian seem to have anything but blandness to offer against them.

Russell got "oh, tut!",

Keith Allen got "I don't get it.. oh hang on Robin Hood, yes he was in it, wasn't he?" laugh slow dissipation.

Joss Stone got big laffs but it doesn't count if you're laffing at your own joke.

Anyone?

(OK, so maybe he had a bad throat on the day)

xpost

I can't help but feel you might have taken this a bit personally

Not personally, it was just that in a shower of idiocy I thought that really took the biscuit, to mix my metaphors horribly. Liam's "rock 'n roll outlaw" schtick was tired 10 years ago, and is considerably more tired now!

i doubt pulp or the other slightly cooler bands who won stuff in the mid-90s sold as many records as amy winehouse or snow patrol or the frankly sinister muse.

details?

more general pop shifts and so on, within british music. british music isn't very exciting in any areas at the moment (though i do like winehouse), or at least it's consistently being trumped by foreign acts, so it stands to reason that the brit awards aren't going to be particularly exciting. i don't see this as a problem, at all.

xp

crosspost

destiny's child.

xpost: that list of impactful American bands is... stunning.

srsly though, none of them were that impactful, especially not n*sync.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6364089.stm

http://www.cbc.ca/consumers/market/files/health/ritalin/gfx/ritalin_large.jpg

backstreet boys gave the world the max martin sound which basically ruled pop for a few years, you may have heard of this singer called britney spears for example

N'Sync never went top 10 in the UK until 1999 as well.

xxxxp

xpost

gets more wtf every time i read it.

Blink 182 didn't break in the uk until 2000! thats only a year before sum 41!

QED

backstreet boys were just not a big noise in pop music!

wrong

but we are now on 'impactful US bands of the late '90s'. i'm not merely being snarky, i just never drank the kool-aid wrt backstreet boys. i feel no enthusiasm for them!

or the max martin sound. which other than britney's early stuff, seems to consist in the aforementioned BSBs, some n*sync, and fucking 5ive. oh and the odd bryan adams track. kudos to max.

xp to lex

interesting point about 1999 cos the brits of that years are really odd. des'ree, belle and sebastian, manics all winning ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brit_Awards#1999 . i think the thing about this years is that for all the snark and so forth uk pop at the moment really has it sewn up, commercially at least. this current fecundity has been going on for what 3 or 4 years british acts are starting to really make it in the US. the weird thing is that the brits can't actually be triumphant about it. well they can but it rings hollow. you have all these acts making serious money but for some reason it all needs to be wrapped up in this mythos, all this baggage from punk and britpop. things can’t just be a collection of good songs or whatever they have to at once dangerous and prove the collective musical / moral worth of the nation.

There is this bit in the middle of What’s My Age Again that is almost unspeakably beautiful. It's like 74-75 moving but in the middle of this upbeat tune. Wow.

There wasn't any swearing during the lead break in "Don't look back in anger" was there?

i guess sneakingly i want it to be shit, and for someone to show it to be shit. but the modern MO is 'get your retaliation in first' ie have a presenter who hates it and bands no-one could possibly care about either way. what would be the point of 'upstaging' something so desperate to shock.

xp

-- Sick Mouthy (njsouthal...), February 15th, 2007.

nick gets it, although i can't say i watched the blessed thing.

even more hillariously she has no auto-filter or whatever on her myspace page leading (by last night at least) to a deluge of 'oh you have let us down so badly' type comments on there for teh world and his wife to gawp and cringe at.

I just checked - either they deleted it all or the deluge of myspace comment spam has pushed it all down the list.

I still want to know how come no-one involved in making The Verdict seems to have noticed that Jeffrey Archer isn't actually eligible for jury service 'cos he's been in nick within the last 10 years....

that's ilx in a nutshell

So they couldn't find anyone else that middle aged folks had heard of who is eligible for jury service?

(I know it wasn't real, obv.* - but surely the object of the exercise was to make it as real as poss., using a jury who were a reasonable cross-section of the population who by some extraordinary coincidence just happened to be celebrities and to therefore appeal to as large a proportion of the population as possible?)

* - I'm wasn't 100% sure that all of the jurors realised this 'though

Is it just 10 yrs? I thought it was: criminal conviction = ineligible for life.

Apparently not.

"Isn't that for "being an MP"..?" I don't know abouit that, but I'm not sure the Conservatives have even allowed him to rejoin the Party.

He is a Lord 'though, isn;t he? Doesn't that make him not only ineligible to be an MP (didn't Anthony Wedgwood Benn have to disavow his own title in order to become / remain an MP?) but also again make him ineligible for jury service?

It would be a bit of a joke if, as a Peer, he is member of the ultimate Court Of Appeal whilst simultaneously being ineligibe for jury service - but then Lord Archer's entire life seems to have been filled with such incongruities.