UK Watercooler Whatever: Searching For The New Sound

Though aren't you Scottish? You're supposed to be able to laugh at sub zero temperatures and arctic winds! It's Socialist to have everyone the same temperature as outside!

Hi, JB. Sorry you're feeling rub. It's that time of year, there's a lot of it going around. Go home and do something that you really enjoy, that you can really lose yourself in.

I was probably playing mine all wrong. But I suppose you can't really go too far wrong with three strings...

Can I post some more cute pictures, or should I get me to a Shush of Crame thread?

http://www.comedycv.co.uk/boosh/2003-january-the-boosh.jpg

Mmmmmm, cake. We should have had cake last night. But then again, I was stuffed after the pielettes.

... and after you've had a wank, things will look better! Or you'll be sleepy.

Cake's a good idea though. Banana cake always makes me happy, I'll make that. I think I've got some bananas that are just about to turn, so perfect for cake.

Somebody's birthday at work, sio I've just been given some saisbury's snarties chosolate cake. ALl bought cakes arew a travesty, but this one is really wrong, like a badly-phrased metaphor.

It's the one on the left, isn't it? Pointy nose, looks like Alex Blur (in that pic)..

Amirite?

Oh wait, he likes Jazz. OK, I can live with that. He will have to listen to jazz in the shed and keep it in a cage because I diapprove of jazz running around free.

Anyway, here is a better picture of that dress:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/morganzola/73321861.jpg

This would be an AMAZING shirt. I would quite simply love it as a shirt. But she has forgotten to put on trousers! Go home, girl! You look cold!

Really? Unless you mean in the sense of "a moment ago I was horny and orgasmic, now I'm neither". Though if you're miserable already I can see how it might contribute to a further feeling of deflation.

It looks better on her as well.

Hi. I second the bananas advice. Over the last few years, natural "remedies" (e.g. bran cereal & yogurt for disgestion issues, turkey for insomnia) have worked well for me.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/mightyboosh/images/wallpaper/640/boosh3.jpg

That is some GOOD paisley. Especially the way it clashes with the wallpaper. Shame about the weasley little tosser in the background, though. ;-P

I thought that said Pipettes.

Does anyone want to see hot fuzz next week, possibly on tuesday?

Oh, that reminds me (eye bending paisley) that I finally brought in the picture of my mural, so I should post it. It's almost the same colours as Julian's shirt there.

I was stuffed after the pielettes.

I thought that said Pipettes.

I thought you said pilates.

it could be a beautiful dress, but it just looks uncomfortable.

(x-post - no, "that hot" for me being eg louise brooks, but I do think she is pretty, & has nice legs.)

I always intend to buy kippers but I never do!!

Anyway, thanks to Gooblar, here is the wall in my bedroom. This was intended for "art in your home" but that's in the Other Place now.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/142/391052982_700ecc4d9f_o.jpg

Did anything interesting at all happen? Apart from that dress?

400-odd photos here:
http://silentladies.com/Brooks/pages/Brooks098.html

Please sign to keep the British Library free!

We used to have a poster of Louise Brooks when I lived in NYC. and Theda Bara over the sofa. We would not have been proper Goth Chicks without them.

http://boosh.phkp.co.uk/julian/gallery/events/londonzoo/londonzoo_21032005-012.jpg

You can get a few silent films if you can play Region 1 DVDs (here's the Amazon page for Lousie Brooks). I spent a lovely night over the Christmas period with my crush watching Clara Bow's "It" as we shared a bottle of gin. Fun times.

I loved how The Brits were being hyped-up so that anythign could happen, yet on the night, they were broadcast with a tape-delay to catch the more blantant swearing. But I did get to see Lauren Laverne on the ITV2 coverage, so it wasn't a total loss...

Emsk, this is clearly your fault, so you are going to have to deal with the consequences of me following you around going NOSE!!! LOOK AT THE NOSE!!! LOOKIT THAT PAISLEY HOUSECOAT, GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME.

http://boosh.phkp.co.uk/julian/gallery/live/tour2006/islington-05122005/islington-05122005_erin-005.jpg

Maybe I should have lunch, but I'm not really hungry.

plus ca change...

Or maybe I am completely mortified at finding myself actually enjoying COMEDY that I am trying to diminish it by saying that I was only actually distracted by teh hottness.

http://www.pandorasbox.com/images/portraits/richee/pearls01-mid.jpg

Sorry for the smallness of the hottness.

Be gentle with me, I do not understand the arcane world of teh FUNNIES.

yes, me! just like doctor who!

(raises hand) and possibly my mate Mark, I'll have to check.

Everyone I know has a crush on one of them! Except I am just sensible enough to fancy the cool one.

I prefer him either clean shaven or fully bearded, but it's not that bad. I mean, it's not a Hitler mustache or a silly Ned Flanders tache, it's a proper droopy Edwardian gentleman/Mexican bandito/German biplane commander tache.

I don't know. The jazz is a bigger concern than the tache. But that makes me just think we could have great obsessive FITES about whether jazz is classic or dud.

Suggestions:
Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.
Try fewer keywords.

GER OFF MY LAND!!!!

I was thinking more this, Farrell:

http://pinkfloyd.wz.cz/Eclipse/enc/diskogr/pfs/pmats/promo.jpg

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/9/9d/100px-Derek_Smalls.jpg

*I may rescind this offer at any time that my crush fades

http://www.axess.com/users/corbeau2/mingus/cat_opt.jpg

OK, Mingus's potty trained cat is pretty darn funny. But I thought we were cat pictured out yesterday.

(Oh god, now I've got Destiny's Childe in mine head, while we discuss some jazz, ba ba ba-oooh jazzzzz, ba bah bah-oooh jaaaaazzzz POW! POW! POW! POW! - clearly the sound of Kate freaking out and gunning down random passersby for talking about Jazz)

http://boosh.phkp.co.uk/julian/gallery/events/bordersoxford-18022006/bordersoxford-18022006_tartpants-005.jpg|

Dada: I wonder if Julian agrees that Johnny Griffin's embrochure and tone are only rivalled by Ben Webster

Ed: Speaking of which, did you know that Mingus trained his cat to use the loo?

::cat picture::

Black Saint & Sinner Lady must be one of the greatest albums of all time.

I'm listening to Ghost and trying to concentrate on work for a change.

Ned why do you fear sideburns?

http://www.trashbat.co.ck/images/barley/gallery/programme_stills/ep1_1.jpg

Asian Babes

Someone photoshop Kate on there please

They would make me irritable.

I'm not sure what to do. If I was vomiting, I'd go home, but this is more ill defined and I don't know if it's illness or not. Plus I can't go home, I have rehearsal! But if I am sick, I don't want to make F sick, too!

Argh, how do I tell if I'm ill or not?

But sometimes fever takes on that hallucinogenic "everything is wonderful!" feeling.

(I do not think it is food poisoning, it's dizziness, which could be ear infection?)

Not even a Sun Ra record?

I'm not *going* to, because 1) that would be childish and I'm an adult now and 2) everybody else would see me pulling monkey faces.

But it is a terrible, mischevious urge.

Oh fuck, starts at 10.30 the day after our gig? Maybe not.

haven't signed up yet as only just seen it

http://trashmoney.co.uk/picsite/images/julian_barratt.jpg

I just know from experience nothing ever happens the next morning after a gig, especially after a gig at the Windmill. They never close! I mean, seriously! And there's no excuse to leave early as it's around the corner from mine house.

Just testing.

I do not fancy any Mighty Boosh dudes, nor do I find them that funny. I have noticed recently that I have an accidental crush on Robert Webb though, despite appalling Mac vs PC adverts.

She might just think Gooblar is hot.

Btw anyone seen tissp around?

Now can I go back to bed, please?

Here is a picture of Paisley. Isn't it lovely?

http://www.andypreece.co.uk/cycling/images/paisley.jpg

http://www.gladsaxe.dk/Files/Billeder/Byråd%20og%20kommune/Venskabsbyer/Paisley_Abbey.jpg

http://www.glasgowwestend.co.uk/imageuploads/image5sml.jpg

(I work in that second one, and it's one of the mills where they used to make Paisley pattern, so ON TOPIC!)

That mill is fantastic, Ailsa!!

Do they make it now? Did they make it under ground in the '80s?

This is what Paisley used to look like when they were all weaving away back in the past:

http://212.20.227.206/abbeymill/images/history5_big.jpg

Keef, they don't make it here anymore. Also, hahaha.

I kinda want one of these

FP - OK Wales, not whales. I'll try and remember.

But I want this more.....TOTAL HOTNESS.

Norm : knackered = HOTT (in guitars). I have to have a Jag at some point.

(xpost to Dr C)

Have a lovely time in Wales, Dr C. Have a nice weekend, the rest of you.

where are you going in wales dr c?

There's a killfile on here? Brilliant! (I'm hoping that the fact that one exists means that I won't have to use it, since everyone'll cut out the rubbishness cos they're afraid of being killfiled.) Is that how it works? I hope so.

Yes, have fun in Wales. It's nice there, very craggy.

Washing machines - yes mines nearly dead. It makes an awful noise when it spins and floods once in a while. It's 17 years old though - top German engineering.

The problem with cars is that you CAN drive em around these days and do nothing to them bar putting in petrol. Those of us who learned to drive in crap 70's and 80's cars (esp British ones) quickly found that you needed to be able to fix them like every week to be able to go anywhere. I learned everything I know from a 1979 Ford Fiesta - what a pile of junk. I sound old. Mind you the best car I've ever driven was a 1971 Beetle that the missus used to have - it sounded like a helicopter, but was totally reliable. German engineering again - I wish we still had that car.

My car's reversing light is broken.

Were you sick of the bumping, rattling, rocking and rolling?

so um what are you all doing with your weekends?

I used to *love* going there when I was a kid. There was a fairground stall there where a guy used to try and guess your weight, but he got mine completely wrong (because my Dad made me surreptitiously hide stones in my pockets first!) and consequently I won a prize, which was A Genuine Peruvian Gold Ring. It made my finger turn green.

I am in a very good mood this morning, despite being STILL sick because I had a really good time last night. Sat around with F and J and we drank ale and listened to Hawkwind and talked about Dr Who and drones and why the Grateful Dead suck and it was just great fun. I like them so much, they're just one of those couples who just give me hope for the world.

And F and I worked out some arrangements and some drones and some harmonies (OK, she did all the work, twidding the knobs of the Korg and I just sat there and went "yes. Oh yes. That one. YES YES YES YES YES!!!" until her other half stuck his head down the stairs going "what are you two up to?")

And then when I was in Jordan a guy named Ali whom I hired a horse from tried to sell me a 'genuine Roman coin' which was just a stone he'd carved a face on!!!

Oh, Mitchell and Webb are the Peep Show blokes? I don't fancy either. I mean, if I were likely to fancy either of them, it would be the other one - the cute one with the chubby cheeks and old man suit. But I don't fancy either of them.

http://212.20.227.206/abbeymill/images/history5_big.jpg

Giant mills that make paisly are just about the COOLEST! THING! EVAH!!! and I want one in mine home. Except it might not fit. Instead of dark satanic mills, I want psychedelic paisley mills. Excellent.

Kate - no dissing Jazzmasters, no, no, no. It's just needing some tlc. Try Pete Cook's in Ealing? Robert Smith's old guitar tech works there and obv knows how to look after Jazzys.

I've never had a guitar that needed so much TLC. :-( Where the heck is Ealing? Any suggestions a little closer to London? I took Jason the Spaceamp to that place on Denmark St when it was ill, and they charged me loads of money and it was still not working right when I got him back. Then this bloke who serviced the equipment at the Joint came by and had a look at it - it took him forever to get around to fixing it, but when he did, it was better than new! I have no idea how to get hold of him - or indeed if I trust him to ever get my guitar back to me if I'm not at the Joint every week to hassle.

Dr. C, maybe I should be less afraid of opening it up and seeing what's up inside. I should change the broken jazz circuit switch but I'm not even sure my soldering skills are up to that. Besides, when do I ever play jazz? (Though the jazz circuit is great for that "Cocteau Twins" big full sound.)

Mark H, have you just been saving up threads all week to post all at once? Are you suffering from sandboxitis?

Cocteaus sound - I use neck p/u on the 'lead' circuit with a compressor and tons of delay. When you kick in some fairly heavy overdrive too, it does that 'five guitars playing at once' thing where you can hear a clean picky sound on top of massed banks of noise. I like that sound!

I should have done this when I changed the strings the other day (I tried using your method, Gooblar, but it doesn't make sense with Fenders, which have their own string locking systems which make them so easy to change) but was too scared to. I don't have the bit that got knocked off - it needs a new switch.

http://www.repubblica.it/2006/05/gallerie/esteri/gatto-rottweiler/ap97832751502205739_big.jpg

http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/strips/2007/february/f2c/070208rgh.gif

I can help you out.

I really don't understand that boxcar comic strip. Oh god, I've not got a sense of humour, I was just deluding myself in a nutmeg induced hallucination when I thought I was starting to get it. Someone please explain what the heck that means.

I am not a space alien after all.

OK, maybe I am. Who knows!

No it most certainly isn't!!!!

xxxxxpost

Oh! And F is totally down with dressing like Hawkwind for the next gig. J is threatening to strip off and dance around like Stacia but we told him only if he wears psychedelic body paint. Then we decided, sod it, the three of us were just going to start a Hawkwind tribute band.

Anyway, what a great hat!

http://www.andywillsher.com/gal/gallery6/gallery_6/slides/TheMightyBoosh.jpg

Where on earth am I going to get aviation goggles? Camden Market, I suppose? Or army navy shop?

I am so happy when I ask for fashion advice from my friends because invariably they say "oh, YES you should get goggles. But do not take fashion advice from us!" when they are precisely the people I *should* take fashion advice from.

http://www.punk77.co.uk/graphics/hawkwindbrock.jpg

That's lovely, Dr. C - is that where you're going?

where I'm going later. (Yes I know it'll be raining...)

Oh god, SuperFraggle, I'd forgotten him.

No, it's actually Ronan's big bro. He is a man of enthusiastic enthusiasms, so I wouldn't be entirely surprised by some Neds, so to speak. And I'll be annoyed if he doesn't play Carter, not least because I'll be yelling for it between every song.

And I am really sorry I won't be at the gig, but there'll be other Gooblar gigs, and there won't be other first nights for this club.

http://www.punk77.co.uk/graphics/hawkwindcalvert.jpg

http://www.aural-innovations.com/robertcalvert/hawkwind/images/hw76coly.jpg

http://i15.tinypic.com/48yiova.jpg

hey, i have one of those.

Give it to me then.

Is it old, or a reissue?

http://img180.imageshack.us/img180/2812/pdvd088mr9.jpg

I hope things are going well for you!

the ointment worked just fine, cheers.

wheeee! suddenly everything looks rosy.

Damn, crushes do have a way of making the world seem rosey, though.

oh, this is purely work/future-related excitement! which i have been having a hard time with, so YAY.

Today I am doing the Chasing of the Journalists' Late Copy and batting away requests from some jumped-up gallerist to get copy approval for some artists I'm writing about, which is so not gonna happen. Yesterday was all about "well, X Magazine let us see the text before they sent it off" followed by "We are not X Magazine. What about the word 'no' is so difficult to understand, mate?" followed by "well, that's the condition we set when we provided images" followed by "not according to the correspondence I have here, you only started wheedling after we got images and the interview, dumbass. SO NOT GONNA HAPPEN."

Still, it makes a change from SF pre-'95, which was cavorting with men twice *her* age.

(I love how you have to pay to get into Wales, but it's free to leave)

I am back from the shops, and I have card and present for the Texan - but also a whole load of DVDs for me, to watch, in bed, this weekend.

My colleagues do not understand why I am sniggering so hard.

I'll hold my breath through the Usk tunnel as well ;)

(Also, Hawkwind Masters of the Universe - the studio one, not the live one I already have. Had to hear Orgone Accumulator.)

x-post

Totally sexxxxxy:

http://www.flyingjacket.com/access_img/fig24_female.jpg

Kerr, this had better NOT be jazz I am d/l-ing now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVSJFzm-Kxk

Cute split-screen sequence w/Colleen Moore, from "Ella Cinders":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQApnpMvAK4

Loads of other stuff including Chaplin's "Easy street", split into 2 parts, Keaton's "Sherlock Jr" split into 6 parts, gawd, I love youtube.

I've spent Saturday afternoon in the pub. Now I'm listening to Daft Punk and looking forward to episode 2 of Primeval, and tommorrow I'll be seeing Hot Fuzz then spending Sunday afternoon in the pub.
Life's okay at the mo.

And also, fuck, i'm posting to this shit on Saturday night.

Tomorrow I am going to swim and play squash and look at historical artefacts. Then go to the pub.

http://newsdesigner.com/blog/images/pirate.jpg

ok srsly i need some kind of advice or something, bc this keeps happening and i don't like it and i don't think anyone else does either. asking now bc i know you'll all (or most of you will) be here before me in the morning. it is prob highschool level advice but i never learned it then therefore i never learned it at all.

ok so i accidentally pulled this guy at a party the other week. so far so good, nice guy, funny, lefty, smart, cute, lives in london (well, JUST, it's way out west) the right age for a change (err reading that back it sounds like he's the right age for me to change him, that's not what i meant, he doesn't need changing, what i meant was he's my age +1 or 2, not like 2x my age like the guys i normally fall for), whatever. then the next day he asked for my number and well, we were all still in the house the party was in all doing breakfast so i wasn't gonna go NO NO NO. so i didn't really think he'd call or anything, but he did, so we went out tonight. and i mean he's really nice, lovely guy, on The Side Of Good etc etc, there isn't anything *wrong* with him (well he eats meat but i sometimes find if i'm thinking some guy is really hott that i'm like "ah he eats meat whatever la la la i can work around that la la la", which is how i know who is genuinely hott and who is actually nott), he's all the above and socially smart (which is more than i am) (he met like 4 or 5 of my friends and was immediately sorted and comfortable talking to them) and all good things like that. but, basically, there's nothing there. from my side. he's someone i'd really like in my life but not as a partner. but he thinks otherwise, he was hinting and not-so-hinting and stuff all evening. so i was trying to be like all gentle-like and, you know, nice and not cuntish about it (btw this new arcade fire shit is AWESOME, yes i am a bit drunked but OMG) but i think i'm gonna have to be quite clear about it at some point. so i guess i have 2 qs.

1 - how is nice way to do this? i want to be honest, cos he is lovely. if he was some tosser i could just go OK FUCK OFF TO MCDONALDS JUST FUCK OFF. but no. how honest is too honest? any definite DO NOT DO THISes? DO DO THISes?

(addition 1b - is it appallingly bad to genuinely want and try to be friends?)

2 - ok i can't really be arsed with this happening again. but i do not want to be banned from the world of the one night stand bc, like, it's nice. do i need to like carry a contract around or something?

yes i have had this done to me from the other side obv but it's always been a bit oblique and situation-specific. or they've been cuntish about it (ok only 1 has been cuntish). heeelp.

i don't think i do anything to like lead them on or anything. it has happened that trying to live by casual and every-directional kindness (which just seems like OBVIOUSLY THIS IS THE WAY TO LIVE MOFO but apparently it's not that obvious) has resulted in people thinking i was best fwends with them when i wasn't. but um this isn't really like that. ARGH.

The Passion Of Joan Of Arc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rQzsqrkbrU

Okay, it's not just me that hears this as Amy Winehouse, yes?

Obviously I have no real advice that you don't already know, Emsk. To recap:
1 - You just have to do this thing. If he "gets you" then it'll be okay, if he doesn't then.. it's going to hurt.
1b - no of course not.
2 - cease being awseome.

And now I've had to get up and come to work (boo hiss etc)

You know the friend I slept with last weekend and wasn't sure about what to do? Well, it turns out she's actually quite into me, and it turns out that I might be maybe sorta kinda quite into her as well. It looks like I'm going up this weekend to see her and I'll see what happens. It's really weird, like I've forgotten how to do this whole relationship thing. I was always shit at it, but mostly because I didn't really want it before. But now I kinda do, and . ... bah, I dunno. I'd delete this paragraph cos it's shit, but I don't know what to write in it's place.

And as for you emsk . .. well, Andrew pretty OTM.

1. Yeh, just be plain and nice and good. I mean, you're a nice good person anyway, this won't be so hard, and I'm sure he's a nice good person too, so it'll be fine. But make sure you really want this, don't give him the heave ho now and then change your mind later. Not saying you would do that of course, but generally when people who are good, nice guy, funny, lefty, smart, cute, lives in london etc fancy you, then it's easy to rue the boat you've missed after they go away.

1b. Friends are good, especially friendly friends. And nice people know this.

2. Yeh, pretty much stop being awesome. You're not gonna get much sympathy concerning the "Oh no why do so many cute boys fancy me" dilemma. Just carry on being the lovely you - tbh you're not doing much wrong at the moment.

I'm sorry for not offering helpful advice, I feel it has already been given.

"Pink copy for you, yellow for the file and white I KEEEEEEEEEP!"

It is a rubbish morning here by the sea. Gales blowing, rain raining, Mister Monkey away in California. Miserable.

Emsk, having been on the receiving end of the "you know you're lovely but I don't fancy you" talk, can I just add that bloke is probably going to be a bit pissed off initially, no matter how well you break it to him. Don't be too hard on him if he is. He'll get over it and get back to being nice, in which case you can be friends. Or he won't, in which case, well, his loss.

The receiving end of that talk is pretty shitty, but I agree with the consensus that it's better to get it out of the way as soon as possible (I had to wait for over a year once to have that talk, and yeah, that did suck, but we got over it eventually).

"Pink copy for you, yellow for the file and white I KEEEEEEEEEP!"

"IN TRIPLICAAAAAAAAATE"

I really can't get annoyed at someone for giving a suitor a chance to make a second impression, nor for being unwilling to spell out "Okay, but this is your last chance, sunshine". Prepare for best outcome instead of worst, y'know?

don't give him the heave ho now and then change your mind later

nah, ain't gonna happen. i suppose he just doesn't smell right or something.

(you should have hinted and not-so-hinted that you're just not that into him during your date

yes, done this.

- which you shouldn't have gone on but anyway)

haha that's a bit strong! i wanted to make sure, you know.

in other news i got given a digital camera by my lovely friend s yeeha! now i just have to learn to use it. and then i can be a team in the treasure hunt ON MY OWN if none of my friends will play (ok we already have 2 teams but IF WE DIDN'T).

I met a friend of a friend, and got talking. At one point RickyT, late of this parish, turns up and goes
"Hey, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Okay. It's just that... they played 'We Want Fun'"
"Yeah, I heard."
"And you weren't dancing!"
"Yeah, no I'm fine. I'll dance if Carter comes on."
"Alright."

And at the end when everyone was setting off (the lady having departed some time before) I was talking to Ricky again and I was saying, y'know, sorry about that, but pretty lady! And said "Yeah, I figured that was probably it, but being here with the song on and you not dancing... it was bloody weird!"

And the other story has to do with her flatmate, Olaf, who apparently is/will be on Quiz Idol, some kind of reality show. Olaf's by all accounts very into the puzzles, and as I was walking down to the bus stop later with The Lex (who dropped in "Oh yeah, X's girlfriend, she's lovely"), he was saying that he has from time to time, back when Olaf was his flatmate, come back from clubbing and seen the gent in a state of, eh, some agitation going "I have a deadline in an hour, I have to finish the Times quiz!". Which was slightly bemusing until the penny dropped and I realised that it's not Olaf, it's Olav, the guy who writes the Times quiz, and who I've stared at the name of several times, wondering who could come up with the questions day in day out, picturing some frowning bald bearded swede. I was ridiculously excited to realise that I knew someone (in fact several) who knew him, despite the fact that I already know more than one person in the paper (including, er, The Lex).

I had a phone call from Mister Monkey about two hours ago to say that our credit cards have been cancelled (they are on the same account). And he's just got to California, and now has no credit card for two weeks. This is particularly annoying because he doesn't have his luggage either and was planning on buying some new clothes today.

They're not even issuing the new one until Thursday. And they have to post it here, to our house, for security reasons. So I won't even get it until Monday or Tuesday of next week. Stupid bankers.

NP, that's why speed dating doesn't happen on a Monday morning!

Speed dating always sounded too much like having to write different CVs for each job. I don't think I'd like it.

Emsk, eep, ow, not a fun situation to be in. The key to one night stands is NOT to exchange phone numbers afterwards. Not ever. If they ask, give them a wrong number or something. That way, only badness lies.

I mean, it's fair enough to go on a date to establish that in the cold, sober light of day, no, you don't consider him relationship material. But as hard as it is, it has to be done, giving the polite brushoff. Remember all the advice that people were giving me when I was trying to figure out what to do with the British Librarian? That was quite good, and worked with the desired outcome. (Then again, we did not sleep together.)

OK, now I'm going to return to my semi-feverish state and mumble occasionally about Julian Barratt swanning about a Morrocan tent dressed only in a loincloth and chains. I had to rewind the video three times to make sure it actually happened and I was not just hallucinating due to fever. Had I not been lying down, I would have fallen off the sofa.

I've had credit cards cancelled on me without my asking twice in my life - the first time when I was stranded in Detroit due to fuckwittage on the part of travelling companion. In the end, I called the card company and even though they were not able to get a card out to me, they did give me the number of the new card, so I was able to book a flight home.

The second time, it was for "abnormal use patterns" - yes, of course my use patterns suddenly got really abnormal, I was stuck in Newark airport over 9/11 and I was trying desperately to ring my mum on the card, book a hotel or a ride out of there or anything. None of which I could do. Fuckwits - sometimes an abnormal activity spurt reveals that there has been a theft, sometimes it reveals that the person is IN AN EMERGENCY.

Most people otm with advice for emsk, so I'm just going to concur with the best stuff and take credit for it all later.

I am so slow in waking up this morning. I blame the lack of coffee in the house (I had to go out and buy 'ritazza').

Nightmare gig on Friday, almost comically full of misfortune; I'm actually glad none of you all could make it to this one!

Me and the Texan and the mad Welsh contingent drank ourselves nearly into a coma on Strawberry margaritas and burritos. Oh, and the Texan's other half is going to join our Hawkwind tribute band. Awesome.

The Credit Card snagged this as 'suspicious' and rang me about it.

Result: Cancelled/reissued card, and no money nicked.

Good old credit card company.

Even just on practical grounds, this is possibly not a great idea if they're a friend of a friend rather than just someone you met at a gig.

-Ominous portent: soundman shows up an hour late, already stroppy.
-Snare stand, which promoter said venue had, is not at venue. Soundman says we'll just use upside-down stool. (Actually works, but, you know..)
-'Orrible place, with rubbish bands on before us, and bad sound in the room.
-Sound terrible from the start of our set; Jim's microphone off for first song, for which he sings, like a lot (only fixed by guy from other band--the soundman didn't seem to notice!).
-In the third song, Richie puts his stick right through the snare! It's another drummer's snare, and it was totally on its last legs, almost transparent. There are no other snares in the building. Richie turns the snare over. Breaks that side on next song. Must play without snare for last 35 minutes of set.
-The sound was rubbish throughout; we couldn't hear ourselves, making it very difficult to play well. And we couldn't really tell what was wrong (and tell the soundman what to change)--it was just shitty overall..
-Soldiered through somehow and finished our set (I'm quite proud of us, actually). Only to find that the guy at the door has left (for Denmark, apparently) before our set was over, so no payment for us!

Or, in Kate's case, someone should have gone "hmm, there appears to be a huge meltdown going on in New York. Expect strange usage patterns."

In our case, normal usage goes like this: book flights to a place, then, several months later, fly to the place and spend loads of money. I would give a lot for a credit card that, when you booked flights using it, actually updated your profile to remember that you are away on those dates. It would save hassle.

But I've never had a one night stand ring me back, even if they did ask for my number. The only one I did make contact with after was the one that we had to exchange phone numbers because he lost his phone in my room and he had to ring it from my phone. Still went nowhere, I discovered I hated his band.

ACtually, wait, there's one that should have STAYED a one night stand but we were stupid enough to continue it. I also hated his band.

My cousin just got engaged over the weekend. I've never met his fiancee. It's just weird how the men in my family get married, but the women don't. Or maybe not so weird reading that above. My brother actually called me to discuss it. (!!!) I may have to go to Tronno for the wedding. But that means I can hang out with Mr. and Mrs. Noodles and the Canadian DDBs. Yeah.

x-posts

Rather than cancelling the transaction and having the customer phone the company, the company should phone the customer and say "hi, someone's using your card in Mountain View. Are you in Mountain View?"

Well, this kind of depends on the idea that they might actually ring your mobile - because otherwise they're jsut going to get yer ansaphone. Also it depends on having a mobile - in both those circumstances, I did not. (Though in the former, I rang them and gave them a stable number at my sisX0r's house.)

This is walking, oh, 10 steps from the kitchen to my desk.

I have no energy because I've been ill for so long, I get winded walking up stairs. It's pathetic. I had to have a ten minute lie down after going to the shops.

It is still off the wall enough, and totally unexpected enough to find funny. The element of surprise - but then again, these things are still funny the second time through. Or more. (I must admit, I've seen the Spirit of Jazz episode about half a dozen times now, and it never stops being funny.)

It was interesting to compare and contrast with Nathan Barley, which, even thought it's the same people, is much more vicious in its humour. Even though The Mighty Boosh is often quite mocking and makes fools of its protagonists, there's still a sense of affection, and even the "bad" characters are somehow endearing.

The whole point of Barley was that *no one* was sympathetic. And it had a kind of nastiness that made for uncomfortable viewing. But it was funnier the second time through, for understanding that in advance, and knowing that it was unrelenting vileness.

I suppose that says something about me, not that I'm Mrs. Huggles from Cuddlstein mountain or anything - but I prefer a gentler kind of humour.

Anyone up for pancakes and hot fuzz tomorrow? I'll do pancakes at mine then we catch the 8:45 show at the barbican?

Though dagnabbit, that was the day I was going to finish watching Boosh.

My lunch - can you tell I work in London's trendy Soho?

Giant couscous with wheatberries and roasted butternut squash; Mozzarella bocconcini with sun-ripened tomatoes; blueberries

Goobs - balding men and banging heads is a bad combination - I feel for you :(

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40233000/jpg/_40233291_couscous203bodyafp.jpg

What on earth *are* wheatberries, anyway? Wheat is not a berry, it is a grain. But I see them in posh health foods in Sainsburys and wonder what the heck they are.

Wheatberries are the actual wheat grain, rehydrated, looking like whole tabbouleh bits.

OK so Friday was all about telling a gallerist he could not have copy approval for an article about his artists, not even if magazine X were giving him this, we're not magazine X. Of course I did have other work to do and I shouted at him because he was ringing me about it every 90 minutes in the mistaken belief that somehow on the 9th attempt I would suddenly see the virtue of what he wanted. So not gonna happen.

G00blar, that sounds like a shit time for all, my comiserations.

I want to watch region 1 DVDs on my computer (a win xp PC) what do I do, anyone? (here is what I want to buy, and that's only the start of it)

I want Colleen Moore films:

http://silentladies.com/Moore/Moore155.jpg

An unusually high number appear to have survived. "Orchids and Ermine" in particular sounds great. (i pity the poor soul who gets a taste for Theda Bara movies, they're almost all lost) but almost nothing's available on DVD, graargh.

Dammit, I want to go back and re-read that thread. ILX is great like a library of pop cultural opinion that way. That after you've seen something again, and digested it, you can go back and review the commentary that was happening at the time.

Though I will be good and not make you watch all of the "making of" bits and bobs so I can drool over Julian Barratt's beard. I promise.

The key to one night stands is NOT to exchange phone numbers afterwards. Not ever. If they ask, give them a wrong number or something.

yeah, it wasn't really possible with a room full of people both of us knew. i would just have looked like a twat.

g00blar, what was the venue and who was the promoter? i want to never do anything with them.

haha also, a cute thing happened on the way to the lock tavern last night (where i saw ADELE omg she was marvellous, fabulous voice, myspace.com/adelelondon). i was riding up clarence road (kind of semi-sketchy area) and this grizzled old dude in a big hat and coat started yelling something at me. i couldn't really understand him so didn't pay any attention, but he kept yelling and i realised he was saying "ring your bell! RING YOUR BELL!" so i did and he went "YYYEEEEAAAAAHH!" sweet...

(Or would your friends have then given him yr number anyway?)

happy birthday suzy!

Emsk, you in for tomorrow?

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/sony_pictures_classics/shadow_magic/_group_photos/jared_harris4.jpg

Actually, I think I have figured out where that particular meme came from - my ex boyfriend, the sound artist one. His best friend at the time was working for Fortean Times. I should never have believed a WORD that came out of either of their mouths.

Though they often were OTM about creepy underground tunnels and Masonic symbolism and all.

"I can't hear you. I've lost my ear trumpet."

HI DERE

Actually, not as long as it was, I trimmed it this morning.

Who is this object o' lust now?

oops I typed 'hawkweed' first; that'd be a Hawkwind tribute band who did the songs in the style of the Wurzels or summat...

(i'm actually masking my tragic lack of interesting conversation by making people go over their old ones)

xpost

http://www.port.hu/picture/instance_2/85233_2.jpg

(Yes, that means there is one free jazz post going spare, Kerr.)

x-post ha ha, HAWKWEED!!! This is what Hawklords smoke, surely.

Actually, if we could get FMM to play her fiddle and Sande to play her ukelele and Ed on mandolin and me on (broken) autoharp, we might just be approximating this...

Anyway, look at that pointy little nose and those lovely twinkly deep set eyes. Hottttness.

This is all most inconvenient. Only a large dose of Paul Bettany can solve this problem.

Hrrrmmm, your search: "Paul Bettany" Tweed Utility Suit returned no documents. Please narrow your search terms.

Bah.

This is hawkweed:

http://wildblueberries.maine.edu/images/FactSheetImages/hawkweed%20flowers.jpg

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/twentieth_century_fox/master_and_commander__the_far_side_of_the_world/paul_bettany/master.jpg

http://eur.i1.yimg.com/eur.yimg.com/ng/mo/emv/20061009/16/1739182936.jpg

http://trashmoney.co.uk/picsite/images/julian_barratt.jpg

from Wikipedia

Hawkweed is a slang name taken from folklore which says that hawks would chew on the plant to improve their eyesight.

aw, those folkies!

I'm going to see the Epoxies and Riot Squad tonight - bit of an odd pairing - new wave pop with support from old school UK82 hardcore punk band!

also, I bought super dark chocolate to bring to work for lunch this week, and forgot to bring it to work, bah.

However, on the upside, Julian B fellates a Lollie:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/mightyboosh/images/gallery/picture8.jpg

May see a few of yis later, I'm about to explode from Barbican-related stress. All will be explained, you'll see.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/music/2002/11/04/taste.shtml

Nice picture, though:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/music/2002/11/04/the_lollies_270.jpg

Someone please photoshop my head into the mouth of... NO WAIT, I DID NOT SAY THAT...

Wait, yes I did.

Bizarrely I came up with Jonestown Mascara myself the other day, or at least I thought I did.

The thing that is most WTF is "ooh, this is The Lollies take on what is amusing to a British audience" thing which is patently absurd. Like he was reviewing us as a comedy routine, rather than a record.

Uh, no. It was so clearly our take on what was amusing to *us*.

But bah, it does bring back some issues which are still relevant - how do you write songs which people think are funny, without being seen as a Comedy Band. I don't even think I have a sense of humour, I just write these songs with a knee-jerk response of piss-taking to things that are hurting me. It's not like I'm trying to be funny. But then people pick up on that, and not the actual emotional content of the song.

God, I wish I'd never written or recorded Office Romance. Why is it the biggest pisstake is the thing that everyone remembers? Sigh.

I'm going to put my headphones on, listen to some Hawkwind and do some maths.

Hrmmm, I have just been handed a glass of champagne to celebrate my colleague passing some accountancy exam. Hurrah!

Hello moon on stick

(xpost)

Mmmmm...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/mightyboosh/images/gallery/picture13.jpg

Oh that's right, I'm a gurl. :-(

Because Ned is God.

But then I might actually grow eyebrows, which would be kinda cool.

x-post ha ha ha

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/mightyboosh/images/gallery/picture2.jpg

Awww, just look at the pasty whiteness of his legs. So pale his skin is actually glowing. CUET.

OK, that's a lot of free jazz posts going spare now. I'm kind of disappointed in you, Kerr, for not taking them up.

::stuffs fists in ears::

One song. And it has to be under eight minutes. And I have to be allowed to look at pictures while it plays.

* Not ltd to Free Jazz.

xpost

Actually i'm using up one of my free posts

The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady is one of the greatest achievements in orchestration by any composer in jazz history. Charles Mingus consciously designed the six-part ballet as his magnum opus, and -- implied in his famous inclusion of liner notes by his psychologist -- it's as much an examination of his own tortured psyche as it is a conceptual piece about love and struggle. It veers between so many emotions that it defies easy encapsulation; for that matter, it can be difficult just to assimilate in the first place. Yet the work soon reveals itself as a masterpiece of rich, multi-layered texture and swirling tonal colors, manipulated with a painter's attention to detail. There are a few stylistic reference points -- Ellington, the contemporary avant-garde, several flamenco guitar breaks -- but the totality is quite unlike what came before it. Mingus relies heavily on the timbral contrasts between expressively vocal-like muted brass, a rumbling mass of low voices (including tuba and baritone sax), and achingly lyrical upper woodwinds, highlighted by altoist Charlie Mariano. Within that framework, Mingus plays shifting rhythms, moaning dissonances, and multiple lines off one another in the most complex, interlaced fashion he'd ever attempted. Mingus was sometimes pigeonholed as a firebrand, but the personal exorcism of Black Saint deserves the reputation -- one needn't be able to follow the story line to hear the suffering, mourning, frustration, and caged fury pouring out of the music. The 11-piece group rehearsed the original score during a Village Vanguard engagement, where Mingus allowed the players to mold the music further; in the studio, however, his exacting perfectionism made The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady the first jazz album to rely on overdubbing technology. The result is one of the high-water marks for avant-garde jazz in the '60s and arguably Mingus' most brilliant moment.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/mightyboosh/images/series1/ep7/ep7_1.jpg

The hatred of jazz is a lifelong thing. I can go through any contortions to avoid listening to jazz. Kind of like playing the "Avoid The Turner" game at the Tate Britain.

I can remember actually having a quite heated discussion with an ex boyfriend who caught me listening to Benny Goodman or someone trying to convince him that that was Not Jazz, it was Swing. Swing is OK. Glenn Miller and all that. Jazz is Evil.

There can be no more jazz without pictures of Julian Barratt! Ha ha!

(And I might not even have to listen to this jazz nonsense tomorrow unless Ed comes up with some more Julian B fast!)

I'M WARNING YOU, LYNCH-BELL!!!

(I may have had too much champagne and am feeling quite silly already.)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/mightyboosh/images/200/noel_julian.jpg

As you were, talk about jazz all you like. How did Dave Brubeck's experimentation with alternate time signatures like Take Five affect the prog rock movement, and all that.

I love the way his eyes just kind of crunch up to almost nothing when he smiles, so all you can see is this little twinkle. And he's got such cute teeth.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/mightyboosh/images/series1/ep6/ep6_7.jpg
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/mightyboosh/images/series1/ep6/ep6_8.jpg

Play Kate some of Miles Davis "Agharta" and some Mahavishnu Orchestra and tell her it's prog!!

But then again, if there's one thing I hate more than jazz, it's fusion. CUT ALL THEIR THUMBS OFF, ARGH ARGH - I once told a bandmate (actually it was Anton who some of you have met) that he could cut my thumbs OFF if he ever caught me slapping or popping. PURE EVIL!¬!!

Emsk, regarding your boy conundrum, I would just explain that you want to be friends. And stick to it. There's no point going through all the soul searching of why it doesn't work for you two in that way. However, I wouldn't recommend telling them you want to 'just be friends' and then make your moves all over again and decide all over again you don't like them in that way after all, leaving them feeling hurt, dejected, bitter, angry and a million other things. Because then, just when they thought they were over you and could get back to being the funny, articulate, confident bon viveur they were before, they'll just be the pathetic, emotional mess they were the first time, only with an added dose of self loathing as to how they could be so stupid again.

OTMFM

i will not do that because i have seen the hurt it causes my closest friends.

ARGH, ONLY FIVE SECONDS IN, AND THERE'S THAT ANNOYING TISH-TAH-TISH-TA CYMBAL THING!!!!! Look, take that out, and put a nice motorik beat under it, and I might be able to give it a listen, but this is just excruciating.

The cymbals, the fucking cymbals. And those wandering DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM basslines that just go up and down the scale like mindless twiddling, argh, argh, I'm trying to think of the quote from Amadeus, about up and down teh scales like the greedy songbirds they are, fireworks that never shut up and argh, I am too tired by too many notes.

There's a lot about it that's nice. If they took the sort of overlay textural bits and stuck it on top of motorik beats and a really fat sub-bass in a quite simple loop, it'd be the best thing ever. But then it would be prog or spacerock or something good and not Jazz in the first place!

http://www.thebooshisloose.co.uk/julianhead2.jpg

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y21/tonytheprawn/Julian%20Barratt/Julian10.jpg

Hmmmm. You think that might work?

It's such a shame about the jazz.

I actually came in here to say something, and now I've totally forgotten what it was, dammit. (I know, I'm supposed to have left 15 minute ago, but I got a last minute visit from the dronerock fairy.)

(It is so hard to find a picture of Hirst where he is not making a totally twattish face.)

how about Julian Clary?

Right, I am now half an hour late thanks to the dronerock fairy, I better get my ass out of here and to the Tai Not A Cult Food and then Shoreditch.

Anyway! I'm leaving! Now! I'm not hanging around the office, I do NOT have an internet addiction. I'm in yr Shoreditch drinking yr edgy style drinks. Honest.

http://www.repeatfanzine.co.uk/images/Dust-boy.jpg

Stupid phone.

Otherwise, though, I am in good humour. Got a good start on novel edits, which is v. satisfying.

This made me laugh this morning:
http://i.thefairest.info/funniest_thumbs/deNPl5.jpeg

Today I've got to finish reading Kalooki Nights (100 more pages to go!), and then discuss it with The Jews Of North London.

(god bless Maid Marian. And poor Danny John-Jules, reduced to the godawful MI-High)

I'm having trouble sleeping at the moment; it seems that the most rest I have got at any one time in the last week has been on the bus into work :(. And there's no data in these tables I'm supposed to make a report from! I don't even know if they're the right tables either, so I guess I should find out before going too far..